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12-05-2007, 10:11 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,154
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Moved this posting for Nicola's Husband...
<TABLE class=tborder id=post144266 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD class=alt1 id=td_post_144266 style="BORDER-RIGHT: #cc0033 1px solid">Hello All! My name is Bill Stewart, Nicola's husband. I am still trying to learn my way around the site, but as I do, I am amazed at the number of beautiful smiling faces I see that I recognize. My incredibly courageous wife, Nikki, passed away a few months before we expected her to, and left me with the heartwrenching task of trying to locate friends that may have been left hanging with no information. I apologize. I have been trying to learn this site adequately so that I may make a posting for all to see, but I'm not sure I have found it yet. I know she loved you all, and spent a lot of time reading and posting here.
<!-- / message --></TD></TR><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: #cc0033 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #cc0033 0px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #cc0033 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #cc0033 1px solid">  </TD><TD class=alt1 style="BORDER-RIGHT: #cc0033 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #cc0033 0px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #cc0033 0px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #cc0033 1px solid" align=right><!-- controls --></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
__________________
Stage 1, Grade 1, 3/30/05
Lumpectomy 4/15/05 - 6MM IDC
Node Neg. (Sentinel node)
ER+ 90% / PR-, Her2+++ by FISH
Ki-67 40%
Arimidex 5/05
Radiation 32 trt, 5/30/05
Oncotype DX test 4/17/06, 31% high risk
TOPO 11 neg. 4/06
Stopped Arimidex 5/06
TCH 5/06, 6 treatments
Herceptin 5/06 - for 1 yr.
9/06 Completed chemo
Started Femara Sept. 2006
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12-06-2007, 11:19 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: san luis obispo, ca
Posts: 1,150
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Dear Bill, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife and soul mate. She was such a beautiful person and her postings meant alot to all of us. My prayers go out to you during this great loss. May God walk with you and keep you in his arms on your path ahead. Much love, vcikie
__________________
Love and Hugs, Vickie
Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Feb 04 IBC IIIC/IV er-/pr- her2+++
3/04 TCH X4
7/ 04 MRM 9/04 Taxol/herceptin wkly 1 yr 33X rads
11/04 skin mets 33x rads,10/05 Avast/Herc. 11 mos.
8/ 06 PET mets lymphs, neck
9/ 06 Navelbine/herceptin
11/ 06 PET NED
2/ 07 skin mets, 4/07 Xeloda, 5/07 add Tykerb
2/ 08 Tykerb failed. Doxil /Herceptin 6 months
8/08 PET skin mets, 8/08 Abraxane/Avastin
11/ 08 PET prog., skin mets
1/09 PET/CT progress, 1/09 Ixempra, 2/09 add Xeloda and low dose Naltrexone
2/09 off Ixempra/Xeloda
3/09 navelbine/herc/cytoxin 4/09 PET shows regress.7/09 start Topotecan. Failed.
8/09 extensive mets rgt brst, back and torso. starting Pazopanib clinical trial.
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12-09-2007, 06:13 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES!
w/home in Boca Raton, Florida
Orig from L.I., N.Y.
Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
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Dear Bill
Dear Bill,
I just wanted you to know how very sorry I am for the loss of your beautiful Nikki. She shined so brightly, and surely still is aglow, in another place.
We welcome you to our home any time you feel like expressing your thoughts. We understand more than most.
Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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12-09-2007, 11:36 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 624
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We are so sorry for your loss. We missed Nikki terrible, she was and still is a beautiful sorry. Your family continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.
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12-10-2007, 07:27 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Naples FL
Posts: 1,744
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I am so sorry to hear this news. Thank you for going to the trouble of finding us to let us know. My prayers to you and your family.
__________________
 Suzan W.
age 54 at diagnosis
5/05 suspicious mammogram-left breast
5/05 biopsy-invasive lobular carcinoma with LCIS,8mm tumor,stage 1 grade 2, ER+ PR+ Her2+++
6/14/05 bilateral mastectomy, node neg. all scans neg.
Oncotype DX-high risk
8/05-10/05 4 rounds A/C
10/05 -10/06 1 yr. herceptin
arimidex-5 years
2/14/08 started daily self administered injections..FORTEO for severe osteoporosis
7/28/09 BRCA 1 negative BRCA2 POSITIVE
8/17/09 prophylactic salpingo-oophorectomy
10/15/10 last FORTEOinjection
RECLAST infusion(ostoeporosis)
6/14/10 5 year cancerversary!
8/2010-18%increase in bone density!
no further treatments
Oncologist says, "Go do the Happy Dance"
I say,"What a long strange trip its been"
'One day at a time'
6-14-2015. 10 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!
7-16 to 9-16. Extensive (and expensive) dental work done to save teeth. Damage from osteoporosis and chemo and long term bisphosphonate use
6-14-16. 11 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
7-20-16 Prolia injection for severe osteoporosis
2 days later, massive hive outbreak. This led to an eventual dx of Chronic Ideopathic Urticaria, an auto-immune disease from HELL.
6-14-17 12 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
still suffering from CIU. 4 hospitilizations in the past year
as of today, 10-31-17 in remission from CIU and still, CANCER FREE!!!
6-14-18 13 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!! NED!!
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12-10-2007, 01:52 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES!
w/home in Boca Raton, Florida
Orig from L.I., N.Y.
Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
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Keep Those Thoughts Coming...
Hi Bill,
In reading your posts, I am touched by your presence here. It is a way to feel close to Nikki and to be a part of something that meant a great deal to her. Your words mean a great deal, as they are full of wisdom and experience. Bc warriors and our caregivers are all a part of this family, all w/words that brim w/profundity and comfort. We are each uniquely bonded, akin in so many ways. We grieve with you and we are all glad to have you as a part of this special group...
Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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12-13-2007, 07:54 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Thank you all!
Thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers and support. Right now I'm just trying to make it minute by minute. I went back to work yesterday, (I'd been out since Nikki was dx'ed with brain mets back in July) and now I'm just trying to find my way again. From the day Nikki and I got married, I thought only of her and how to make her happy, and when she was dx'ed with the cancer, we still had more good times and closeness than most. Years ago, I wrote a poem that I wish to share with you. "A Warrior's Prayer"
Father in Heaven
Spirit that moves in all things
Grant me the power and wisdom
to do what I must do
keep me strong
and guide me
to my true purpose.
Amen
After Nikki got sick, I thought back and remembered that poem and realized my prayer was answered. I was in the right place at the right time and my life's purpose was to take care of her and love her and I did it as good as I could. Our marriage was the best eight years of our lives. Now I need to find my "new" purpose. Thanks for everything and you guys all stay strong. Love, Bill
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12-13-2007, 08:12 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 823
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Bill I love your poem. You still remain in my prayers.
__________________
Vicki
Texas
Biopsy Dx'd 3-23-05 Age 48
MRM 4-5-05 w/ 2 tumor's 5cm, and 6 cm (right side)
IDC (poorly differentiated infiltrating ductual carcinoma)
5+/16 nodes
Stage III A
Grade 3
ER/PR-, Her2/neu ++
Ki67 78%
Begin Chemo 5-2-05 4XAC Dose Dense , 4X Abraxane Dose Dense (ended August 05)
28 Rad's ended October 13 2005
Started Herceptin Weekly August 2005 for one year
Had a Simple mastectomy left side after Mamo showed incresed micro-calcifications. Jan. 17 2006.
Brain MRI Feb.2006--All Clear
August 28, 2006 Last Weekly Herceptin.
October 2006--Colonoscopy, 6 Polyp's removed--all B9
PET Scan July 2007
Abdominal MRI Oct. 2007---2 Right Kidney Cysts
Core Biopsy-- Lump on Scar Line 1-10-08---B9
Brain MRI 6-2008--All Clear
PET/CT Scan 6-2008
Sept. 8 2008, 4CM area removed from mastectomy scar line. Proved to be B9.
PET/CT Scan-- July 2009 --All clear
August 17,2009 ---Had Port Removed
6 Years NED -- April 5,2011
DX'd with Melanoma left arm 10-10-2011
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12-13-2007, 08:22 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 312
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Bill,
You had a special life with Nikki.
Namaste
__________________
Janet
Endometrial Cancer 2002
Mammogram 11/2004
Lumpectomy 12/2004
Stage 1, 9mm DCIS, grade 2, Her2+++, ER/PR negative
Refused A/C as recommened by two oncs.
35 treatments of radiation that ended March 4, 2005
Changed oncologists and began
Taxotere/Herceptin August 2005. Finished Herceptin July 2006
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12-13-2007, 08:50 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Acworth, GA
Posts: 2,104
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Bill,
Nikki was a very special woman who touched many hearts here. She always had such a postive attitude and offered such encouragement and hope to others. She was fortunate to have such a loving husband. Know that she is at peace and looking down on all of us. She is one of our special angels.
__________________
Kate
Stage IIIC Diagnosed Oct 25, 2005 (age 58)
ER/PR-, HER2+++, grade 3, Ploidy/DNA index: Aneuploid/1.61, S-phase: 24.2%
Neoadjunct chemo: 4 A/C; 4 Taxatore
Bilateral mastectomy June 8, 2006
14 of 26 nodes positive
Herceptin June 22, 2006 - April 20, 2007
Radiation (X35) July 24-September 11, 2006
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
Stage IV lung mets July 13, 2007 - TCH
Single brain met - August 6, 2007 -CyberKnife
Oct 2007 - clear brain MRI and lung mets shrinking.
March 2008 lung met progression, brain still clear - begin Tykerb/Xeloda/Ixempra
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12-13-2007, 09:01 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Bill, your Nikki was blessed by your closeness and love for her, just as you were blessed in return.
Thank you for sharing your poem, it's really beautiful.
<3 Lolly
__________________
Sept.'99 - Dx.Stage IIIB, IDC ER/PR-, HER2+++ by IHC, confirmed '04 by FISH. Left MRM, AC x's 4, Taxol x's 4, 33 Rads, finishing Tx May 2000. Jan.'01 - local/regional recurrence, Stage IV. Herceptin/Navelbine weekly till NED August 2001, then maintenance Herceptin. Right Mast. April 2002. Local/Regional recurrence April '04, Herceptin plus/minus chemo until May '07. Gemzar added from Feb.'07-April '07; Tykerb/Abraxane until August '07, back on Herceptin plus Taxotere and Xeloda Sept. '07. Stopped T/X Nov. '07, stopped Herceptin Dec. '07, started Avastin/Taxol/Carboplatin Dec. '07. Progression in chest skin, stopped TAC March '03, started radiation.
Herceptin has served as the "Backbone" of my treatment strategy for over 6 years, giving me great quality of life. In 2005, I was privileged to participate in the University of Washington/Seattle HER2 Vaccine Trial.
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12-14-2007, 02:32 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lincoln, Rhode Island
Posts: 371
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Dear Bill,
What a beautiful poem I am so glad you are here with us. Nicola was a beautiful soul and was so loved by us all here. Please keep in touc with us.
__________________
Love and Hope
Karen
IDC
DX 1998 STAGE I ER+/ PR+
AC CHEMO TILL FEB 1999
Tamxofin till 2001
2001 exstensive liver mets and mets to lungs
Started weekly taxol
Jan 2002 found out I was strongly HER2POS+++ started herceptin continued with taxol and herceptin till June 2002 then from June 2002 till Jan 2005 just herceptin and Arimidex
2005 Navelbine herceptin had RFA Then back on taxol with herceptin
April 2006 progression again went on clinical trial with tykrerb/herceptin progressed on the started Xeloda/ herceptin
Feb 2007 started Doxil
August 2007 Taxotere,Carboplatin and Herceptin exstensive mets to liver and pancreas
October 2007 Had to stop Carboplatin due to sever allergic reaction
Jan 2008
Stopped Taxotere due to progression now on Gemzar and Herceptin
March 2008 Starting Carboplatin, Abraxane, and Herceptin.
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12-22-2007, 02:06 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Greendale, WI
just outside Milwaukee
Posts: 211
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Bill, First and foremost - YOUR POEM IS BEAUTIFUL - I am so sorry that when you called last weekend, I was not abe to provide you with the support I so desparetly wanted to give you. I have been having a bout w/ depresion and I could not talk about Nicola w/o breaking into a million pieces. I just wanted to let you know that my CT was negative. No Acities, No mass. I am just very bloated (9lbs in a month). I was sure there was something amiss! It may be a change in two medications. I changed from tamoxafin to Femara and from Lisinopril to Diovan. I have since gone back to Lisinopril, and my bloating has decreased significantly. My energy level and spirits are getting back to normal just in time for Christmas and our trip to Miraval SPA in AZ. What a blessing! Thank you for all your kind words last week when I was falling apart. You are a wonderful and caring individual and Nikki was extreemly lucky to have fallen in love w/ such a great guy. Peace Karen
__________________
04/05 Onset 49, DCIS, solid, Hist 2/3, Nucl 2/3, 7cm R Brst
04/05 E & P + HER2+++
05/05 Mediport
05/05 Cytoxan & Adriamycin every 3wk x4
08/05 Taxol every 2wk x 4, Herceptin every wk x1yr
10/05 Bilat Mast - my Choice
10/05 3/19 lymph nodes Pos, Stage IIIa
11/05 Rad x 37 Rx, R Brst & Axcilla
02/06 Herceptin stopped (L vent HF 40)
03/06 Started & Stoped Arimidex after 2 mos.-QOL side effects
05/06 Started Tamoxafin
06/06 Bilat Free Flap Reconstruction
12/06 Cardiomyopathy reversed-HF normal
01/07 Bilat Saline Implants
07/07 CA 27-29 steadily rising from 28 in 12/06 to 46 in 7/07
07/07 PET Scan NED, but inflamation at prev surg site.
09/07 Started Femara
10/07 CA 27-29 down to 39
06/08 CA 27-29 down to 32
09/08 Lg joint pain & QOL side effects from Femara, will live w/ to keep CA markers within normal range.
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12-22-2007, 03:06 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Bill, I think as you so perfectly tried to fulfill your purpose, your Nikki fulfilled hers here! She blessed us with her genuiness (sp) and beauty of spirit! Peace and love at this Christmas time.
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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12-22-2007, 09:15 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Oh Karen! You don't owe me any apology whatsoever. I understand how upsetting that phone call was for us both, i'm just so glad you made it. I realize that we have all lost Nicola, only in different ways, and it really hurts for those that knew her best. She had alot of good friends on this site. I'm so glad that you had positive results on your scans, and that your energy level is picking up for the holidays. Thanks for letting me know. I hope you have a great time on your spa trip. I've been sitting here debating with myself on whether or not I should tell you this next part, but I feel like I'm in a group of friends, so here goes.....I went to the doctor weeks ago,for depression and anxiety, etc., understandable, I guess. He gave me a script for Ativan and Ambien to help me sleep. Anyhow, while I was talking to you on the phone, I walked back to the medicine cabinet and took an Ativan. Then, after we finished talking on the phone, I noticed my Ativan bottle was on the kitchen counter, so I checked the bottle in the medicine cabinet and discovered I'd taken an Ambien by mistake! It was early in the afternoon! And I had alot of stuff to do! I thought about trying to run out real quick before it kicked in, but realized that was stupid, so I just grabbed a pillow and blanket and laid down on the couch, lol. It was a good nap. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! Love, Bill
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12-22-2007, 09:20 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Hi Mary Anne! Thank you for your support and kind words. I hope you and everyone here have a wonderful and peaceful Christmas. Love, Bill
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12-24-2007, 02:08 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES!
w/home in Boca Raton, Florida
Orig from L.I., N.Y.
Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
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Bill,
I couldn't help but *overhear*... LOL. I know someone who took an Ambien and it didn't work, so he went to a 24 hr Home Depot to shop. He fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed. He is fine. The car not so much. But -- you were very wise to not go out!
I had taken an Ambien, as I do regularly, and an hr later my husband collapsed into unconsciouness. I jumped up to go to him, had his head in my lap on the floor and I couldn't rouse him, so I called an ambulance. I gave them all the necessary information including the list of all his meds I keep in my wallet. They said, Will you be all right to follow us? Yes, I said. I will drive very slowly and carefully. After they left, I realized -- I HAD TAKEN AN AMBIEN. I was wide awake, adrenylin surging... But I called my dghtr back to not go directly to the hosp, but to please pick me up. I was afraid to drive...
We must all keep this important Lesson in mind. Glad you brought it up! And glad you are safe.
Wishing all a Happy Christmas, praying you will be surrounded by love and peace...
Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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12-25-2007, 03:55 PM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 943
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Nicole's spirit still encourages me and gives me courage to go on despite my own health battles this year. Take care hubby and keep her spirit close to heart.
__________________
Robin
2002- dx her2 positive DCIS/bc TX Mast, herceptin chemo
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