HonCode

Go Back   HER2 Support Group Forums > her2group
Register Gallery FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-28-2004, 01:53 AM   #1
JenniKirk
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hi there,

My mother was just diagnosed woth stage IV Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on Sunday. I am an only child and feel helpless because I can't stop her pain. She is only 63 years old, and still has alot of life to live. She looks so---o weak and sick and I just don't know what I can do or say because it has come to us as a shock. I also don't know of any alternative healing processes that she can use while doing chemotherapy. Also, any questions I may want to ask the doctor or know now instead of later... Sorry this question is so broad of a question but we are a small close family that cares so much for each other. I feel sick and unenergized too be cause of all the thinking and planning going into this...
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2004, 05:17 AM   #2
Judy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I just want to say how sorry I am to hear this news. I have a daughter, an only child, and it was so difficult for her to deal with this. The most important thing she did for me was to just be there! To check in with me. My favorite thing was the day she brought me a hat..and stood in Kohl's trying to find one that didn't have seams on the inside so it wouldn't hurt my head. She said she felt like an idiot but it was my favorite hat!!!! Just be there. Tell her how much you love her. Sit quietly with her. Talk when she wants you to talk and listen when she wants to talk. Don't be afraid of her...and don't be afraid for her....just love her. I found myself being more afraid for my daughter than for myself. I knew I could handle this but I didn't know if she could. The other thing she did was buy be a beautiful journal! I loved that:-) She wanted me to be able to write my thoughts no matter what they were. It has been a God send. I don't know how computer saavy she is so...do research IF she wants you to. Some people don't want to know anything about what is happening (and that is their right!) and others (like me) want to know everything. Which ever way she is, support that! This site and www.breastcancer.org are wonderful places to get support...and information! Good luck on your journey...you're about to learn a lot about yourself and a lot about your mom!
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2004, 05:27 AM   #3
Lolly
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Dear Jenni,

I'm glad you're reaching out for support as this is a good place for that...many of us are Stage IV survivors, and able to live with stable disease or even reach remission for extended periods of time.

This is possibly the hardest time for you and your family; the shock does eventually ease, the fear is more difficult to deal with. It may be hard to believe now, but you do get used to living with it and learn how to keep it on the back burner, so to speak, so it doesn't consume you. It actually serves a purpose, if you harness the fear as energy in helping your mom through the treatments and in pursuing the best treatments for her.

You didn't say where the cancer has spread; if you choose to share that with the board there is much good advice here from those who have had,or are going through, treatments for bone, liver, and brain metastisis.

It's pretty overwhelming, I know and symphatize deeply, but hang in there and you'll get to a better place and in the process be able to help your mom and family. Keep us posted, we care.

Love, Lolly
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2004, 06:27 AM   #4
Annemarie
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I am very sorry about your mother. It is one of the most devastating days of a person life. It was definately a life defining moment for me. That being said where there is life there is hope. I have had stage 4 bc for almost 4 years now. Like diabetes (depending because each case is different) bc can be managed. Before I had cancer when I heard stage 4 I automatically assumed a death sentence. That is so untrue. I know a woman who is 19 years out of bc after a met to her lung! I am sure now with better medicine we will hear more of those amazing stories! I will say a prayer for your mother tonight.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:53 PM   #5
Jennie Kirk
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Thank you so----o much for the wonderful and quick responses, it is always good to hear stories of survival, especially at a scary time like this. My mother's cancer has spread to her lungs and bones. The doctor just put a liquified substance like talcom powder through her chest tube to make a barrier between her lungs and rib cage, and it is very uncomfortable for her. Is there anything natural or absolutely ANYTHING that has helped anyone with their naseau? The doctor said until my mother stops vomiting he will keep her in the hospital, and I feel that is the scariest thing to her. Every pain medication causes her to vomit, since she has never really took anything strong her whole life. We live in Michigan, and if there are any stores or people that someone could recommend on natural therapies or home remedies that would be most helpful, we're just trying to get my mom back home as quickly as possible because we fell she would feel a lot more comfortable there.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:53 PM   #6
Lyn
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hi there, I always have Tropisetron 5mg (Navoban)in my drip with chemo, I use to have maxalon but that made me worse, and I have 2 tablets to take home, 1 a day. When I was in hospital last year with heart failure and thyroid problems I felt that sick that I wanted to die, then I asked for a Tropisetron tablet and it picked me up, they are expensive here in Australia about $20 but worth their weight in gold. Also I like to sip Ginger Beer, home made is better, and non alcholic or when I was younger with a hang over I sipped soda water the next day and it worked wonders, I think the bigger the bubbles the quicker response, so you can get Ginger Beer Cordial and mix with Soda water, worth a try. Love & hugs Lyn
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:54 PM   #7
Kathy SC
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hey Jenny,

I wanted to share that when I had my operations, I would become extremely nauseous. My chiropractor that I visit loaned me his electronic wrist band (looks like a watch) that sends out a little charge or pulse that controlls nausea. It worked so well on me that my surgeon went and bought some for his practice. You can pick them up at a maritime shop that sells fish and boating gear (they are marketed for motion sickness). They are not inexpensive but it works. If you would like more info... let me know and I'll call him to find out who makes them.
Kathy
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:55 PM   #8
Shelia
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Jenni
Your Mom is very lucky to have you...sounds like a talcing procedure, we have had a few on the board who have had this done. My prayers are with you and your Mom that she will overcome the nausea and vomiting and be able to return to the comfort of her home.
Hugs
Sheila
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:55 PM   #9
Judy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I just want to say how sorry I am to hear this news. I have a daughter, an only child, and it was so difficult for her to deal with this. The most important thing she did for me was to just be there! To check in with me. My favorite thing was the day she brought me a hat..and stood in Kohl's trying to find one that didn't have seams on the inside so it wouldn't hurt my head. She said she felt like an idiot but it was my favorite hat!!!! Just be there. Tell her how much you love her. Sit quietly with her. Talk when she wants you to talk and listen when she wants to talk. Don't be afraid of her...and don't be afraid for her....just love her. I found myself being more afraid for my daughter than for myself. I knew I could handle this but I didn't know if she could. The other thing she did was buy be a beautiful journal! I loved that:-) She wanted me to be able to write my thoughts no matter what they were. It has been a God send. I don't know how computer saavy she is so...do research IF she wants you to. Some people don't want to know anything about what is happening (and that is their right!) and others (like me) want to know everything. Which ever way she is, support that! This site and www.breastcancer.org are wonderful places to get support...and information! Good luck on your journey...you're about to learn a lot about yourself and a lot about your mom!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:56 PM   #10
Annemarie
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I am very sorry about your mother. It is one of the most devastating days of a person life. It was definately a life defining moment for me. That being said where there is life there is hope. I have had stage 4 bc for almost 4 years now. Like diabetes (depending because each case is different) bc can be managed. Before I had cancer when I heard stage 4 I automatically assumed a death sentence. That is so untrue. I know a woman who is 19 years out of bc after a met to her lung! I am sure now with better medicine we will hear more of those amazing stories! I will say a prayer for your mother tonight.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:56 PM   #11
Alecia
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hi Jenni,
As many of us here are stage IV and living life and loving it...your mom will find the strength through you and with in herself to fight this battle!!!! It is such harsh news to digest but things do often get a little easier as the days go on! I wish you and her all the best...give lots of hugs! My thoughts are with you! Alicia
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:57 PM   #12
Ron
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Jenni,

I am husband to a survivor, we have been through some of the challenges that your mom and your family now faces. First the vomiting: There is a form of Zofran, which is an instant dissolve tablet for those suddenly sick times. There is also a Phenegren gel that you rub between your wrists, when taking anything by mouth is out of the question. Many people swear by ginger root tea. I think the best form is to grind the ginger root yourself, brew and serve. The ginger root packaged tea did not seem to help Cyndi much.

I think you will find that breast cancer regardless of the stage will bring as much healing and expressed love as it will bring sickness. When Cyndi was first diagnosed a little over five years ago, a woman came into her room and said, “Cyndi, you will get more out of cancer than cancer will take out of you.” As you can imagine, we thought the woman was nuts. But you know what, she was right! We never take tomorrow for granted and we are a closer family today that we ever imagined. No one is afraid or reluctant to say, “I love you.” Do not be afraid to cry, it really is good for you. Hug often, share feelings, and care deeply.

Cyndi has been stage IV with mets to the lungs for a little over fifteen months now and brain mets since this past June. She is the most positive person one could imagine. She says “If I live, I will stay with my family on earth, If I die, I will go to heaven and be with God, I cannot lose!”

Best wishes and prayers to you, your mother, and your family.

God Bless,
ron
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:58 PM   #13
Lolly
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Good idea on the ginger root tea from Ron...I had forgotten how effective ginger root is. My daughter gets very carsick, and if she nibbles on candied ginger root and sips ginger ale she is fine. It doesn't take much, she just takes a teeny bit into her mouth at a time, but if that is too much for your mom to handle, the tea may be best.

Love and Hugs,

Lolly
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:58 PM   #14
Barbara H.
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hi.I have been reading and receiving a lot of benefit from this site. I'm not ready to put myself out there yet, but felt I needed to contribute to this message. I grew up in Michigan, and when anyone ever had an upset stomach, they drank Vernor's Gingerale. I believe it has real ginger in it. I live in the Boston area where it is not available, but I always have my family and friends bring it when they visit. Hope that helps.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2004, 07:59 PM   #15
Kristin
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I heard an amazing story about Ginger Root just last night. Went to a Halloween party and saw a friend who was in a car accident and became paralylized from the chest down.

He has been looking into homeopathic remedies, and he swears by ginger root. He says he can feel some things, Lightly, but they told him he would never feel anything. He looks the best I have ever seen him and is in really good spirits. I hope it is the ginger root, I might give this or cocoanut oil a try after surgery.

I am not advocating to stop any treatment while in progress or to add it with treatment. I am in the same mind set as Lisa, I don't want to take anything while on chems. But maybe later?! take care k
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright HER2 Support Group 2007 - 2021
free webpage hit counter