i lost my brother....

[micheleu]

I am just now able to post this...Last Sept. I found my only sibling, my brother, dead in his chair at home. It was something that i was not prepared for. Very unexpected. This was harder then going thru cancer. I cried for months. I finally had a good dream about him last week that he was happy and smiling a me. He had a hard life. Victim of depression, dependence and bipolar disease. He went from being a very nice looking man to someone who looked homeless. I miss him daily. I blamed my self for so much after his passing. I was the nurse, the strong one that needed to take care of him and i couldn't. We thing a heart attack took him but maybe he took some bad drug. We did not do a autopsy. My parents went for the last 8 years worrying they would lose my to cancer and now their other child is gone. Pray for our family that we find peace this new year....