Colleen's Last Herceptin

[Colleens_Husband]

Dear Friends:

I just wanted to share a few thoughts the day after Colleen's last Herceptin infusion. She is officially N.E.D. with a prognosis of a long and healthy life. I would say she kicked cancer's fat butt, but taunting the cancer weevils is bad karma, so I won't even bring that subject up.

Looking back on it all the most interesting feeling I have on the cancer experience was that it seems like an easier journey in the rear-view mirror. There were some pretty dark days but they passed quickly. Going into treatment, in contrast, it seemed like the treatment would be an unending and difficult journey.

The only thing she has left to endure is removal of the port and a lifetime of heightened vigilance. Or at least I hope so. The nagging doubt is a residual that I hope will ebb with time. Getting rid of the port is going to be a bigger milestone for me. I hate that thing.

When Colleen was in surgery to have her lymph nodes removed, the surgeon found that all eighteen of the lymph nodes were swollen. Because of that, he installed a double port for end of life treatment, assuming that she was surely advanced Stage 4 cancer. It turned out that she had an infection because of the initial needle biopsy which caused the swelling and she only had 3 lymph nodes with cancer in them.

After the surgery, the surgeon took me into a private room and told me that Colleen had a gravely serious cancer problem and that getting her affairs in order may be a smart thing to do while she was still able to help me. That two weeks between the surgery and the next appointment with the surgeon were absolutely awful. I didn't tell Colleen about the conversation with the surgeon because he said there could be other reasons the lymph nodes were swollen, but it looked real bad.

In the end, Colleen said that the whole experience, although frightening and at times painful, was a growth experience which she wouldn't trade, although she would never want to go through this again.

I also think Colleen and I are closer than ever. We have always been great friends and soulmates, but somehow we cherish each other just a little bit more.

Anyways, enough of the self-indulgent mushy stuff. Colleen feels that she is now at an important milestone and we will celebrate that milestone, but for me, it isn't over till she gets rid of that damn port.

Lee