linda update

[al from Canada]

I am deeply saddened to tell you all that Linda died today in the comfort of her own bedroom on her new 4-poster bed. Linda had been far more comfortable since we brought her home as her breathing had no apnea and was very regular. Around 2 this afternoon, I was holding her hand talking to her when I noticed she failed to take her next breath. Total peace and tranquility and her lips immediately turned into a smile. This was day # 15 since Linda lost consciousness and day# 10 with IV support!

Linda and I had a very close blended family. Linda leaves behind her two children 21 & 20 and my three; 19, 24 and 32 and our little grandaughter, 18 mos.

Linda, true to her giving nature, has donated her eyes to the eye bank for transplant, the one body part a cancer patient can donate. As well, there is a plan in place for further support to our local community hospital. I will elaborate later.

I would like to make two final comments: first, if you or a friend are considering having your final days at home; providing you have a full time support staff and appropriate pain management, it can be a bonding and life altering experience for your family and a very warming and relaxing place for the patient. Second, this support group has given us the courage to fight, look death in the eye and walk away, and in the end, with the strength of all your thoughts and prayers behind us, having the courage to fight, amaze the doctors again and again and finally, remind death that we are not going willingly anymore.

I plan to re-join the group as an active participant when things settle. You may ask why? Because I still have 2 daughters and a grandaughter PLUS, all my friends here in the support group.

not a good day today,
Al

[StephN]

The above is a quote from my husband upon my sharing this sad news with him. You have our complete sympathy in this exhausting moment of your life, Al.

Home is normally the best place to pass, if, as you say, the appropriate support is there. I feel that Linda knew where she was and that you were by her side as usual.

We ache for you and Linda. Once again I want to thank Joe and Christine for having you and Linda as part of the group in San Antonio last December. It seems like such a short time ago and I can hardly believe what we have been through since that time.

[karenann]

Al,

Your Linda was beautiful inside and out. I am so truly sorry for your loss. I send my love, hugs and prayers to you and your family, as I know this is a very hard time.

Peace and strength,

Karen

[bjj]

Al

I am so very sorry to hear about Linda. How kind of you to come and tell us all and to still be able to find it in you at this sad time to offer your advice for anyone considering to spend their final days in their own home. You are so generous at such at sad time.

I am pleased to hear that you intend to re-join the group as an active participant.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

bjj

[chrislmelb]

Dear Al, so sad to read of Linda's death. I'll be thinking of you and your family. May she rest in peace.
Christine

[emmasmom]

Dear Al - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May you be filled with peace. Know that there are so many prayers for you and your family.

Lisa

[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

Nothing I can type in this post can express how terribly sorry I am to hear about Linda. Your love for each other always came through so strongly in life, as I am sure will continue in your memories of Linda.

Thank you for letting us know even through your time of sadness. My prayers for you and your family.

[Dalye]

Dear Al & Family;

I too want to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Al, you truly are an inspiration to other family members by showing us that our loved ones are not is this battle alone. When you told us of Linda's passing, with a smile on her face, it should be a reminder to us all that she is starting a new chapter and it is just a pause in the conversation & we will all meet again. God bless you and your family!


love & peace

Eileen

[Yorkiegirl]

Dear Al & Family,


Please know that my prayers are with you during this time.

I am so very sory for your loss. I am at a loss for words at the moment, but many prayers continue.



Vicki

[tousled1]

Dear Al,

I am relatively new to this message board but want to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your family. I am truly happy that Linda got to spend her last days at home with a loving family and environment. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Rozebud]

I just don't know what to say Al, other than I am SO sorry for your loss.

More than any other man I've ever known (and I know I've told you this before), you were more a part of Linda's journey with your knowledge and activism than any man I've even known. I can probably speak for most women on this board (including myself) who have great husbands but were still a little jealous Linda had a great guy like you. She was really blessed, and I know you were too.

This is selfish of me to say, especially since I'm not on as much anymore, but I do hope you come back when you're ready. You've offered us all SO much, and still have so much more.

God bless you my friend. And God hold Linda in love forever.

[Becky]

Al,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful Linda. I am thinking of you and your family constantly. Remember your friends here at Her2. We hope you will be back soon so we can comfort and help you as you have us.

With kindest regards,

Becky



DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

by John Donne (1572-1631)

[marymary]

Thank you for posting the poem by John Donne. It brought tears to my eyes.

Mary

[Julie2]

Dear Al,

My heart aches so much from this sad news. I was still hoping for a miracle for Linda yesterday. You tried the best and please come back to this board after everything settles.

Julie

[Lee]

I'm glad Linda got to spend her final moments with you, in your home, together. I will keep both of you in my prayers. God bless.

[Vi Schorpp]

Al, I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing else you or your family could have done for Linda. What you did was extraordinary and touching. While there's peace in the promise of everlasting life, it's not much comfort as you're going through this.


My husband died earlier this month on April 9th. We had hospice and family at home and it was a beautiful experience. I described it as gut wrenching and beautiful, but it was life defining, both for me and my daugher and son. Helping someone get through their final journey is a gift -- both to them and to ourselves. We look back with many emotions -- but among these emotions are pride in our ability to help comfort them, and gratitude for the life we shared with them. I look back with no regrets and I'm sure you do too.

My husband and I would have celebrated 32 years of marriage in May. We have two children and two grandchildren. Our 7 year old grandson decided that he could help Pappa by playing guitar for him, so he picked up the guitar and played 3 songs for him. Mind you, he has not had a lick of instruction, so you can imagine the sounds! When I went into the kitchen where the family was I said that maybe Pappa thought he was in heaven with that guitar playing. My sister said, "or, maybe Hell." It was funny, but again, our grandson felt he too could help in the process. I will never forget it.

I pray that you will find comfort in the prayers and messages from everyone on the board.

[Tom]

Dearest Al and Linda,

You are both my heroes.

God Bless You Always,
Tom

[aquinis2000]

we struggle for words. may you feel unspoken comfort in this time of sorrow.

[Sandy H]

I have not even checked my personal e-mail yet as many times I come right to this board. As Steph already said I too thank Christine and Joe for having met you and Linda in San Antonio in Dec. Its pretty over whelming for me to think all that has transpired for both of you since then. Of course, it all started much before San Antonio. You were so sweet to let us know so soon and continue to inspire us despite all that is happening right now. You and your family will stay in our hearts on this board for a long time. I am so happy you said you were going to stay with us here and also feel you can continue to be a part of us. I think some feel once their loved one is gone they can not be a part of us and that is not true. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We all love you and you will continue to be in our prayers. hugs, Sandy

[TriciaK]

Dear Al, I can only echo all the thoughts of others here, and express my gratitude for "knowing" you and your beautiful Linda. You have given so much to us, even in your pain you have thought of us! We will look forward to you being on the board again when you can. Our thoughts and prayers and tears are with you and will be for a long time. You and Linda will be together again, I bear testimony from my heart that I know that. She will not be far away even now. God bless you, Al, and all your family! Tricia