I need help

Hello everyone,

I was Stage IIIb, Her+++, ER & PR pos, 6 out of 13 nodes positive.

I have been on this journey since Feb 03 and for the most part manage to do okay. I had a lumpectomy, dense dose AC and Taxol, radiation, unsucessful attempts with tamoxifen, zoladex (couldn't tolerate them; tamoxifen elevated the liver enzymes, and zoladex put me on another planet emotionally). Mar 2005 after much hesitation I removed the ovaries, (one stupid OB/GYN told me not to even bother, because my prognosis wasn't good - didn't give him the pleasure of taking out my ovaries) then in Sep 05 started every 3 week herceptin treatments. I have 3 left, and am looking forward to feeling like my second home is not in the oncology ward of the Doctor office. After this I will with much apprehension start taking Aromasin. I am feeling like I am on a emotional roller coaster sometimes - I spent most of the day in tears - tried to have relations with my husband, and it just isn't working for me - sex is just down right painful. And maybe I am on a pity party today, but I feel like I have been through too much the past 3 years not to be able to enjoy the physical pleasures of sex that I used to experience. Also, the anti-depressants that were working (zoloft) don't seem to stop some of the severe depression feelings I have been experiencing - and with the Doctor's advice I went from 50 mg to 75mg. I guess I am afraid I will never feel okay again. It just seems so hard sometimes. I am glad to be alive, but would like to improve my quality of life. I guess I need help from you all, and welcome your suggestions. Thank you all.


Barbara