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05-06-2008, 09:46 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: LA LA Land
Posts: 1,607
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On death and dying....surviving grief
What I've learned about life is the moment you are born you are guaranteed to die. Everyone wants to live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in their sleep. Life does not work that way.
Life is ROCKY-full of chaos-scary-violent-heartbreaking. It is also filled with love-miracles-blessing-unexplained goodness and HOPE.
Losing friends on this board hits so close to home for all of us. It is deep in ways that only one fighting cancer can appreciate. It brings up our worse fears along with sadness and grief at the tremendous loss we feel. It is a window into what it will be like when it's our turn.
We cannot really mourn as a community at a community service since we are but a virtual community. We can only offer our prayers and love and sympathy to each other and to the friends and family still on earth. We can express what we mean/meant to one another in hopes that the family and loved ones find comfort knowing that their loved one contributed so much to so many others. I hope that the loved ones of our members find comfort in knowing what a vital part of the her2 family each and every one of us is and how without EACH unique voice on this board we are just individuals floating in the universe - alone with a dreaded and incurable disease.
Together we are more parts than our sum. Together we can share a healing energy of strength-love-and courage. I am going to focus on that this week. How much we have built together and how much that means to us all.
I am going to keep sending prayers and healing thoughts to everyone connected on this board. May we all find comfort to get through this week.
Love
Flori
__________________
1996 cancer WTF?! 1.3 cm lumpectomy Er/Pr neg. Her2+ (20nodes NEGATIVE) did CMF + rads. NED.
2002 recurrence. Bilateral mastectomy w/TFL autologous recon. Then ACx2. Skin lymphatic rash. Taxotere w/Herceptin x4. Herceptin/Xeloda. Finally stops spreading.
2003 - Back to surgery, remove skin mets, and will have surgery one week later when pathology can confirm margins.
‘03 latisimus dorsi flap to remove skin mets. CLEAN MARGINS. Continue single agent Herceptin thru 4/04. NED.
‘04 '05 & 06 tiny recurrences - scar line. surgery to cut out. NED each time.
1/2006 Rads again, to scar line. NED.
3/07 Heartbreaking news - mets! lungs.sternum. Try Tykerb/Xeloda. Tykerb/Carbo/Gemzar. Switch Oncs.
12/07 Herceptin.Tykerb. Markers go stable.
2/8/08 gamma knife 13mm stupid brain met.
3/08 Herceptin/tykerb/avastin/zometa.
3/09 brain NED. Lungs STABLE.
4/09 attack sternum (10 daysPHOTONS.5 days ELECTRONS)
9/09 MARKERS normal!
3/10 PET/CT=manubrium intensely metabolically active but stable. NEDhead.
Wash out 5/10 for tdm1 but 6/10 CT STABLE, PET improving. Markers normal. Brain NED. Resume just Herceptin plus ZOMETA
Dec 2010 Brain NED, lungs/sternum stable. markers normal.
MAR 2011 stop Herceptin/allergy! Go back on Tykerb and switch to Xgeva.
May-Aug 2011 Tykerb Herceptin Xgeva.
Sept 2011 Tykerb, Herceptin, Zometa, Avastin.
April 2012 sketchy drug trial in NYC. 6 weeks later I’m NED!
OCT 2012 PET/CT shows a bunch of freakin’ progression. Back to LA and Herceptin.avastin.zometa.
12/20/12 add in PERJETA!
March 2013 – 5 YEARS POST continue HAPZ
APRIL 2013 - 6 yrs stage 4. "FAILED" PETscan on 4/2/13
May 2013: rePetted - improvement in lungs, left adrenal stable, right 6th rib inactive, (must be PERJETA avastin) sternum and L1 fruckin'worsen. Drop zometa. ADD Xgeva. Doc says get rads consultant for L1 and possible biopsy of L1. I say, no thanks, doc. Lets see what xgeva brings to the table first. It's summer.
June-August 2013HAPX Herceptin Avastin Perjeta xgeva.
Sept - now - on chemo hold for calming tummy we hope. Markers stable for 2 months.
Nov 2013 - Herceptin-Perjeta-Avastin-Xgeva (collageneous colitis, which explains tummy probs, added Entocort)
December '13 BRAIN MRI ned in da head.
Jan 2014: CONTINUING on HAPX…
FEB 2014 PetCT clinical “impression”: 1. newbie nodule - SUV 1.5 right apical nodule, mildly hypermetabolic “suggestive” of worsening neoplastic lesion. 2. moderate worsening of the sternum – SUV 5.6 from 3.8
3. increasing sclerosis & decreasing activity of L1 met “suggests” mild healing. (SUV 9.4 v 12.1 in May ‘13)
4. scattered lung nodules, up to 5mm in size = stable, no increased activity
5. other small scattered sclerotic lesions, one in right iliac and one in thoracic vertebral body similar in appearance to L1 without PET activity and not clearly pathologic
APRIL 2014 - 6 YRS POST GAMMA ZAP, 7 YRS MBC & 18 YEARS FROM ORIGINAL DX!
October 2014: hold avastin, continue HPX
Feb 2015 Cancer you lost. NEDHEAD 7 years post gamma zap miracle, 8 years ST4, +19 yrs original diagnosis.
Continue HPX. Adding back Avastin
Nov 2015 pet/ct is mixed result. L1 SUV is worse. Continue Herceptin/avastin/xgeva. Might revisit Perjeta for L1. Meantime going for rads consult for L1
December 2015 - brain stable. Continue Herceptin, Perjeta, Avastin and xgeva.
Jan 2016: 5 days, 20 grays, Rads to L1 and continue on HAPX. I’m trying to "save" TDM1 for next line. Hope the rads work to quiet L1. Sciatic pain extraordinaire :((
Markers drop post rads.
2/24/16 HAP plus X - markers are down
SCIATIC PAIN DEAL BREAKER.
3/23/16 Laminectomy w/coflex implant L4/5. NO MORE SCIATIC PAIN!!! Healing.
APRIL 2016 - 9 YRS MBC
July 2016 - continue HAP plus Xgeva.
DEC 2016 - PETCT: mets to sternum, lungs, L1 still about the same in size and PET activity. Markers not bad. Not making changes if I don't need to. Herceptin/Perjeta/Avastin/Xgeva
APRIL 2017 10 YEARS MBC
December 2017 - Progression - gonna switch it up
FEB 2018 - Kadcyla 3 cycles ---->progression :(
MAY30th - bronchoscopy, w/foundation1 - her2 enriched
Aug 27, 2018 - start clinical trial ZW25
JAN 2019 - ZW25 seems to be keeping me stable
APRIL 2019 - ONE DOZEN YEARS LIVING METASTATIC
MAY 2019 - progression back on herceptin add xeloda
JUNE 2019 - "6 mos average survival" LMD & CNS new single brain met - one zap during 5 days true beam SBRT to cord met
10/30/19 - stable brain and cord. progression lungs and bones. washing out. applying for ds8201a w nivolumab. hope they take me.
12/27/19 - begin ds8401a w nivolumab. after 2nd cycle nodes melt away. after 3rd cycle chest scan shows Improvement, brain MRI shows improvement, resolved areas & nothing new. switch to plain ENHERTU. after 4th cycle, PETscan shows mostly resolved or improved results. Markers near normal. I'm stunned but grateful.
10/26/20 - June 2021 Tucatinib/xeloda/herceptin - stable ish.
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05-06-2008, 10:55 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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St. Patrick's Breastplate
Dear Flori -
nicely thought and written as usual.
This prayer came to mind as we have lost a couple of our Irish sisters now.
An aquaintence sent the following to me when I was at a low point with aggressive mets. I posted it on this site one time maybe 3 years ago or more.
ST. PATRICK'S BREASTPLATE
I gird myself today with
the power of God.
God's strength to comfort me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to lead me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me ...
May these words be a mantra for you and others, as they were for me, as you face the unknown. And I will pray for you all to be blessed in your battle as I have been.<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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05-06-2008, 11:10 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Thanks Flori!
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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05-06-2008, 11:43 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,193
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Thank you Flori. We sure are a sad
group right now.
__________________
PinkGirl
Dx Aug/05 at age 51
2cm. Stage 2A, Grade 3
ER+/PR-
Her2 +++
Sept 7/05 Mastectomy
4 FAC, 4 Taxol, no radiation
1 year of Herceptin
Tamoxifen for approx. 4 months,
Arimidex for 5 years
Prophylactic mastectomy June 22/09
" I yam what I yam." - Popeye
My Photo Album
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05-06-2008, 12:22 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,519
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I love you Flori. I feel like I have known you a lifetime. Thank you for sharing with us. It really does help right now. Sigh.
__________________
Brenda
NOV 2012 - 9 yr anniversary
JULY 2012 - 7 yr anniversary stage IV (of 50...)
Nov'03~ dX stage 2B
Dec'03~ Rt side mastectomy, Her2+, ER/PR+, 10 nodes out, one node positive
Jan'04~ Taxotere/Adria/Cytoxan x 6, NED, no Rads, Tamox. 1 year, Arimadex 3 mo., NED 14 mo.
Sept'05~ micro mets lungs/chest nodes/underarm node, Switched to Aromasin, T/C/H x 7, NED 6 months - Herceptin only
Aug'06~ micro mets chest nodes, & bone spot @ C3 neck, Added Taxol to Herceptin
Feb'07~ Genetic testing, BRCA 1&2 neg
Apr'07~ MRI - two 9mm brain mets & 5 punctates, new left chest met, & small increase of bone spot C3 neck, Stopped Aromasin
May'07~ Started Tykerb/Xeloda, no WBR for now
June'07~ MRI - stable brain mets, no new mets, 9mm spots less enhanced, CA15.3 down 45.5 to 9.3 in 10 wks, Ty/Xel working magic!
Aug'07~ MRI - brain mets shrunk half, NO NEW BRAIN METS!!, TMs stable @ 9.2
Oct'07~ PET/CT & MRI show NED
Apr'08~ scans still show NED in the head, small bone spot on right iliac crest (rear pelvic bone)
Sept'08~ MRI shows activity in brain mets, completed 5 fractions/5 consecutive days of IMRT to zap the pesky buggers
Oct'08~ dropped Xeloda, switched to tri-weekly Herceptin in combo with Tykerb, extend to tri-monthly Zometa infusion
Dec'08~ Brain MRI- 4 spots reduced to punctate size, large spot shrunk by 3mm, CT of torso clear/pelvis spot stable
June'09~ new 3-4mm left cerrebellar spot zapped with IMRT targeted rads
Sept'09~ new 6mm & 1 cm spots in pituitary/optic chiasm area. Rx= 25 days of 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the tumors.
Oct'09~ 25 days of low dose 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the bone mets spot on rt. iliac crest that have been watching for 2 years. Added daily Aromasin back into treatment regimen.
Apr'10~ Brain MRI clear! But, see new small spot on adrenal gland. Change from Aromasin back to Tamoxifen.
June'10~ Tumor markers (CA15.3) dropped from 37 to 23 after one month on Tamoxifen. Continue to monitor adrenal gland spot. Remain on Tykerb/Herceptin/Tamoxifen.
Nov'10~ Radiate positive mediastinal node that was pressing on recurrent laryngeal nerve, causing paralyzed larynx and a funny voice.
Jan'11~ MRI shows possible activity or perhaps just scar tissue/necrotic increase on 3 previously treated brain spots and a pituitary spot. 5 days of IMRT on 4 spots.
Feb'11~ Enrolled in T-DM1 EAP in Denver, first treatment March 25, 2011.
Mar'11~ Finally started T-DM1 EAP in Denver at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center/Rose on Mar. 25... hallelujah.
"I would rather be anecdotally alive than statistically dead."
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05-06-2008, 12:40 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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Thank you Flori, you put that beautifully and there truely is strength in numbers. What a lovely prayer too Steph, I'll keep a note of that as I have'nt seen it before.
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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05-06-2008, 01:26 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: me & my three HANDSOME grandsons!!Jacksonville, Arkansas
Posts: 354
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I feel so bad for all of you. I haven't been here long enough to form deep friendships as you all have. I am shocked and saddened by the swiftness of it all.
__________________
Terri B.
46 yrs. young
Dx IDC 3/6/08
1.5 cm & .6 cm grade III, Stage IIA
es/pr- Her2+++, 9/9 richardson
Double Mast w/expanders 4-14-08
3/9 nodes positive.
additional excision rt breast 4-25-08
weekly T/H x 12 (6-2-08) Done!
FEC x4 (9-8-08) Last one 11-10-08!
Herceptin complete 8/10/09!!
33 RADS DONE 2/13/09!
rt. breast biopsy 3/20/09 .. B9!!
reconstruction complete!
DEEEEEEported on 5/19/10!!
almost 5 YEARS NED!!
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05-06-2008, 02:20 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 305
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Very well said Flori
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05-06-2008, 03:16 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: moved to Lancaster, Pa in June, 2010
Posts: 576
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Thank you Flori and Steph, both post very true and spiritural. I needed to read those today as I am scheduled for yet another ct scan for a problem no one seems to be able to figure out. This disease is such a roller coaster ride. I remember when my mother had symptoms that the docs couldn't figure out, her cancer had come back with a vengence. It saddens me so when we lose a dear her2 sister. Always in the back of my mind, am I next. It is so hard to move past those feelings.
Please forgive the negativity, I am having a bad day.
__________________
Debbie in North Carolina
Diag 10/2006-high grade invasive ductal carcinoma- mastectomy L breast
2.5 cm tumor ER/PR pos-Her2+++
4 rounds A/C, 4 rounds Taxol
Herceptin every 3 weeks until Jan. 2008
6/18/07 prophylatic mastectomy R breast
8/2007 started aromasin/stopped arimidex (side effects)
12/07 stopped aromasin due to side effects (now what?)
Finished herceptin 1/8/08
started tamoxifen for 2 years then will switch to femera
allergic to tamoxifen started femera 4/2008
June 20, 2008 portacath removed
Learnig to live life to the fullest!
Stopped Femera due to side effects
July 28, 2008 start trial for breast cancer vaccine
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05-06-2008, 03:18 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 240
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Beautifully written Flori, thank you so much - I'll be adding my prayers for our community here. And Steph - I love that prayer of St. Patrick - a friend sent it to me as soon as she heard about my dx......very powerful and moving, especially for me of Irish decent. Thank you for posting it.
__________________
xxoo
Kathy
2/5/08 - dx age 53, post-menopausal;
IDC Stage 1, Grade 1
ER+ 90% /PR+ 90% /Her2++++, BRAC1 & 2 neg
3/5/08 - mast with muscle-sparing free tram;
0/7 nodes clear; Stage 1 lymphedema in right arm
3/11/08 - MRSA infection in abdomen causes large hernia
4/11/08 - Oncotype DX score 22 (intermediate)
4/12/08 - Muga score 67%
4/23/08 - Chemo, Navelbine and Herceptin every 2 weeks
8/20/08 - Last Navelbine infusion! Yay!
1/22/09 - First mammo since dx - unaffected breast CLEAR!
1/30/09 - Second Muga score 63%
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05-06-2008, 05:41 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 3,207
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Flori and StephN, wonderful thoughts, thank you.
__________________
Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial
5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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05-06-2008, 06:30 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Thanks Flori, and Steph. You're right Pinkie, we are a pretty sad group right now, you can almost feel the sense of "quiet" on the site right now.
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05-06-2008, 06:43 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Mountains of Virginia
Posts: 2,267
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Thank you Flori and Steph. We are a quiet bunch, as Bill said--reflecting, casting about in our own pool of fears.
But we should also rejoice--in the lives well lived by those we have lost. In the final victory. This is what I have to remind myself of--that though we mourn for and miss our dear ones, we can rest assured that they have moved on to a place of no more fears and worries.
Won't that be a blessing.
__________________
Rhonda (Sassy)
dx age 45
DX 2/15/05 Stage IIb (at surgery)restaged IIIa
Left mast .9cm tumor 5 of 14 nodes
Triple Positive
4 DD A/C
12 Taxol/Herceptin
33Rads
Strange infect mast site one year aft surg, hosp 1 wk
Herceptin for total of 18 months
Lupron Monthly 4 yrs
Neurontin for aches, pains and hot flashes(It works!)
Ovaries removed 11/09 stop Lupron and Neurontin
Arimidex 6 yrs (tried Femara, no SE improvement)
Tried Exemestane-hips got so bad could hardly walk
Back to Arimidex for year seven
Zometa 2X Annual for 7years, Lasix
Stop Arimidex 5/13
Stop Zometa 7/13-Bi-lateral Stress Fractures in Femurs from Zometa
5/14 Start Tamoxifen
3/15 Stem cell transplant to stimulate femur bone growth/healing
5/15 Complete fracture of right femur/Titanium rods both femurs
9/16 Start Evista stopTamoxifen
3/17 Stop Evista--unwelcome side effects!
NED and no meds.......
14 YEARS NED!
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05-06-2008, 06:51 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sheboygan, WI
Posts: 2,582
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Hi Flori,
Thank you for the wonderful post. I was thinking on the same wave length tonight and was coming here to post my thoughts also. But you dear friend, said it all, and said it perfectly.
Thank you.....and love you too..
Mary Jo
__________________
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++ RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node No Vasucular Invasion 4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin 1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks 28 rads prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06
17 Years NED
<>< Romans 8:28
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05-06-2008, 06:59 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Stockton, NJ
Posts: 4,179
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What a sad week for all of us. There have been other bad days on the board but for some reason, I feel the worst this week and wish we could all be together and have a real hug, not a cyber hug. I need a real hug today.
(((((Hugs to all of you))))))
__________________
Kind regards
Becky
Found lump via BSE
Diagnosed 8/04 at age 45
1.9cm tumor, ER+PR-, Her2 3+(rt side)
2 micromets to sentinel node
Stage 2A
left 3mm DCIS - low grade ER+PR+Her2 neg
lumpectomies 9/7/04
4DD AC followed by 4 DD taxol
Used Leukine instead of Neulasta
35 rads on right side only
4/05 started Tamoxifen
Started Herceptin 4 months after last Taxol due to
trial results and 2005 ASCO meeting & recommendations
Oophorectomy 8/05
Started Arimidex 9/05
Finished Herceptin (16 months) 9/06
Arimidex Only
Prolia every 6 months for osteopenia
NED 18 years!
Said Christopher Robin to Pooh: "You must remember this: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"
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05-06-2008, 08:17 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: So California
Posts: 223
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feeling the same
Yeah, I'm feeling the same way. It is a pretty rough week. And then I start to think of others...... Nicola, Sandy, Lisa, LuAnn, many, many more. It breaks my heart.
I love all of you so much. You have given so much of yourselves, helping each other, uplifting each other. I just cannot thank you enough for the love, hope and inspiration that you give to me. I think back to where I was two years ago and I feel so armed with knowledge and that knowledge has primarily come from this site.
I know that we have had differences of opinion on "stuff" in the past, but really when it comes right down to it, everyone is here for each other, sharing their knowledge, helping to pick each other up. We laugh together, celebrate together and today, grieve together.
My prayer today is that God comforts each and every one of you, lifting you up, filling you with His hope and peace.
Lisa
__________________
Leslie's Sister (Lisa)
Diagnosed 5/17/06
Left breast Stage II
5 cm. Her2Neu+++, ER-, PR-
1 positive node out of six,
double mastectomy 6/9/06;
TCH started 7/12/06
last chemo 10/25/06
herceptin ended 6-11-07
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05-07-2008, 06:01 AM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wilmington, Del.
Posts: 1,126
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__________________
MJO
IDC, Stage I, Grade 2
Oncotype DX Score 32
Her2++ E+P+, Node Neg.
Lumpectomy 11/04/05 Clear Margins
3 Dose dense AC (Couldn't tolerate 4)
4 Dose dense Taxol & Herc. (Tolerated well)
36 weeks Herceptin (Could not complete one year due to decrease in MUGA score)
2 years of Arimidex, then three years of Femara
Finished Femara May 2011
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05-07-2008, 06:08 AM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: So California
Posts: 223
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Mjo's prayer
Mjo:
Wow.... That prayer says it all. Thank you. What a great way to start the day.
Lisa
__________________
Leslie's Sister (Lisa)
Diagnosed 5/17/06
Left breast Stage II
5 cm. Her2Neu+++, ER-, PR-
1 positive node out of six,
double mastectomy 6/9/06;
TCH started 7/12/06
last chemo 10/25/06
herceptin ended 6-11-07
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05-07-2008, 06:21 AM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland Ohio just a little south of Youngstown.
Posts: 473
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Thank you, Flori for your wonderful thoughts. I am so glad that we have each other to share the sad times and the happy times. And, Steph, the Irish prayer is wonderful, I am nearly full blooded Irish yet I've never seen this. Thanks so much for sharing. Bill, I understand what you mean about feeling the silence. I thank God once more for sending me to this site, I don't think I would have survived without it.
Hugs to all my wonderful cyber family
__________________
Susan
Age: 61
dx: 5/25/06
2 cm/ 0 nodes
Lumpectomy rt breast on 7/26/06
ER/PR- / Her2+++
A/C x 4
finished taxotere 2/07
finished 33 rads
Herceptin finished 12/07/07 Yippee!
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05-07-2008, 08:40 AM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: California's Gold Country
Posts: 404
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Dear Flori,
So much sadness this week had me overwhelmed, and I must admit that I wimped out and have not been able to find the words to post. I try to check in weekly to keep tabs on everyone, but sometimes I am just so sad that I end up not offering anything.
I just wanted to say that you have said it all beautifully, and the poems from Steph and MJO are spot on. I know that none of us are getting out of here alive, but it still hurts to see those that have fought so hard leave us.
I will end by saying thank you all for being here and being such a loving and supportive family.
I love you all,
Kim
__________________
Diag. Feb 1997 4.5cm IDC <10%ER+, PR-. 5 out of 36 nodes +. Mastectomy followed by 3 rounds Adriamycin/Cytoxin.
5/1997 Hi Dose Chemo w/ Stem cell rescue. Spent 4 weeks in isolation ward. Then 6 weeks radiation.
9/2001 widespread mets to liver. 8 mos Taxotere/Herceptin brought me almost to NED. Stop Taxotere & add Femara .
11/2002 liver resection to remove spot that turned out to be necrosis. Officially NED!
7/2003 Tumor markers rising add Xeloda Disastrous reaction, 8 days hospital, but tumor markers came back to normal!
June -Dec 2004 UW Vaccine Trial.
7/2005 MRI single 11mm brain met
8/2005 Gamma Knife.
Brain MRI @3 months NED!
2006-2011 brain/body still NED
8/04/11 Taking Herceptin break, will monitor with tumor markers.
6/20/12 Tumor markers begin to rise. CA15-3 is 31.3 and Her2 Serum is at 17.1 Decide to repeat in one month.
7/23/12 CA15-3 now 49.3
Her2 Serum 26.8
8/6/12 Back on Herceptin
CA15-3 now 76
Her2 Serum now 49
11/7/12 Add weekly Taxotere for 4 cycles
2/2013 Stopped Taxotere added Perjeta. MRI shows approx. 50% reduction liver mets. CA15-3 still elevated @ 55. Will continue on just Herceptin & Perjeta.
November 2014 Continuing on Herceptin, Perjeta, and
Femara indefinitely. Guess I'm NED again, but watching those tumor markers carefully!
Dec. 2015 PET scan reveals mass in perirectal area of abdomen.biopsy confirms. Still Her2+, but no longer ER+. Bye bye Femara
Jan 2016 Begin Kadcyla
March 2016 PET scan shows tumor now barely visible, still NED everywhere else.
2016/2017 continue Kadcyla
November 2017 brain MRI reveals small focus of T2 hyperintensity with possible 4mm enhancing nodule. Short term follow up MRI suggested. Stay tuned...
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