Joe passed on this evening - Page 6

Monica · 08-17-2010, 08:09 PM

I was shocked and dismayed to read about Joe. I was extremely fortunate to meet Joe, Christine, and one of their daughters at their home about five years ago. I was conducting research on the influence of leaders on virtual cultures. Both Joe and Christine were incredibly accommodating – picking me up and driving me back to the airport, feeding me, and spending their precious time in my interviews. I had no idea the amount of time, resources and dedication that Joe and Christine have spent on HER2 Support. I saw for myself the very loving and mutually respectful relationship between Joe and Christine and their love for their daughters. I remember in talking to Joe about the HER2 Support mission, he said, “This is why we’re here—to help women live longer. What else is there?” I think that says so much about Joe.

Christine, Danielle, and Debra – I am so sorry for your loss.

Monica

micheleu · 08-18-2010, 08:12 PM

God speed Joe...........

karen z · 08-18-2010, 09:37 PM

I just returned tonight from a short vacation. My heart is broken to hear about Joe. He was a wonderful and kind man who will be greatly missed. He meant the world to all of us.
My thoughts are with you Christine and with the girls.

Kavy · 08-18-2010, 11:11 PM

Dannielle, Christine and Deborah,

I'm shocked and very saddened for this news. I had no idea that Joe was fighting his own battle. I'm so very sorry. Your dad was an amazing person, who had my admiration. He will be dearly missed and never forgotten by all of us. I am also so thankful to him and to your mom for creating this site that has helped so many people, including me through my 5 years with metastatic disease.
My deepest sympathy. I am praying for all of you.
A big hug.
Karla.

RhondaH · 08-19-2010, 07:24 AM

Danielle,

I am speechless. I became a member in 2005 after being dx and he and your mother have been a God send. Your mother, you and your sister and in my prayers. Again, I am at a loss for words. Take care and God bless.

sally · 08-20-2010, 06:54 AM

I am very sorry to hear this news. Joe and Christine have created a great legacy that will continue for a very long time. They have touched so many lives in every way shape and form. I wish you the very best. Sally

lyce · 08-20-2010, 03:42 PM

Such sad shocking news. Joe gave so much to this community and he will be remembered in the hearts and minds of so many. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Thank for taking the time to reach out to us with your post. My prayers will include you all. Lyce

Cannon · 08-21-2010, 02:47 PM

I only knew a small part of Joe, but even the bit he shared with us here was AWESOME!!! Thanks to Joe and his family for all they have done to make the world a better place. Wishing you all the best.

Trish · 08-21-2010, 06:01 PM

Danielle
This site has been an immense support to me here in Australia.I always think warmly of Joe and Christine although I didn't know them I have thanked them silently. I loved the post about Christine's birthday.You belong to an exceptional family that has done much good. A life well lived and parents to be proud of...but what a loss. Best wishes to you, Christine and your sister.
Trish .

Kim in DC · 08-21-2010, 11:35 PM

Dear Danielle,
Your father helped me with a personal matter at work. He was a strong man,
devoted husband (and I'm sure father) and a resource to every one on this list.

The fact that he continued to help soooo many while fighting his own battle is a true testament to his character. He will be missed!

Kim

WolverineFan · 08-22-2010, 12:51 PM

Danielle,

This post was such a shock and so sad. It is with great sympathy that I send my condolences to you and your family. I've never had the opportunity to meet any of you, but love you all for what you have done for so many wonderful people. Yes, your dad is certainly a HER2+ angel for sure.

God bless you all.

chrislmelb · 08-23-2010, 08:01 AM

A belated message. i was so sorry to hear of Joe's death. he did such a great job with this site for us HER-2 girls. To Christine and family, my condolences.

AlaskaAngel · 08-23-2010, 09:56 AM

Thank you Danielle. There was no place for HER2's that I know of until Joe and Christine put this all together. Words just aren't adequate to say how much good has come of their effort and vision, or how hard it is for you and for us to go it without Joe as living proof of decency and kindness and caring and leadership.

AlaskaAngel

Cynthia · 08-23-2010, 10:41 AM

Joe and Christine have been so important to so many of us for so long. Joe's dedication to our cause was extraordinary, and his love of Christine and their daughters was so clear. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Barbara H. · 08-23-2010, 01:51 PM

Dear Christine, Danielle, and Deborah,
Just as many have responded, I was both shocked and saddened to hear about Joe's passing. I have been away visiting my parents and family in Michigan and haven't been able to respond until now. Christine, your mission to establish the HER2 website along with Joe's ability and commitment to its existence created a service to those of us with HER2 breast cancer that provided information, hope, and a strong sense of community.

I have spoken positively about this website to both my doctors and nurses at the Dana Farber, and have recommended it other HER2 patients I have met. I feel uncomfortable responding publicly to online groups, and am not even a member of Facebook. In spite of these concerns, I felt compelled to join this site due to the professional and compassionate way Joe ran it. He professed his interest and care for everyone here, and responded to those who needed his help and advice. The HER2 Support Group has given me hope when I had none, and has encouraged me to live a normal and rather worry free life in spite of my recurrence to stage 4 over 6 years ago. I can not thank you enough for what you and Joe have provided for me and my family.

My heart goes out to you and your family. My thoughts are with you daily.

My condolences to you, your family, and your friends.

Barbara H.

libbyshope · 08-23-2010, 03:42 PM

Dear Christine, Danielle & Deborah,

I was deeply saddened yesterday to hear about Joe’s passing. I want you to know that Joe and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. The HER2 breast cancer advocacy community has lost a true cancer warrior. I have lost a dear friend and cancer advocacy mentor. In Mitch Albom’s book entitled, Tuesdays With Morrie, the terminally ill Morrie teaches Mitch (one of Morrie’s former college students) that the way you obtain meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, helping the community around you, and creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. By this or any other measure, Joe lived a full and meaningful life dedicated to his faith, his family, and the HER2 breast cancer community.

In that same book, Morrie instructs Mitch that “death ends a life, not a relationship.” Morrie states that as long as we can love each other and remember this feeling of love, we can die without ever going away because all of the love that we have created will still remain. He states that after we die, we live on in the hearts of everyone we have touched and nurtured while alive on earth. All members of the HER2 Support Group community will forever carry Joe’s memory in their hearts and minds.

I have known Joe and Christine since 2002. They assisted me, like many of you, when my mother was diagnosed with HER2 positive breast cancer. I have no doubt that my mom is alive today as an 8-year, stage IV breast cancer survivor because of the invaluable guidance that they provided to me and my family. After I lost my 26-year old cousin to ovarian cancer in 2008, I started a website in her memory called Libby’s H*O*P*E*. The website is based, in large part, on the many advocacy lessons that I learned from Joe & Christine. As if Joe did not have enough to do in 2009, he instructed me on a voluntary basis with respect to various methods to better promote the website. In the end, the co-founder of the HER2 Support Group not only helped countless women with that specific subtype of breast cancer, he helped unknowingly many ovarian cancer survivors as well.

Remember Me

Based upon instructions from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (“Her Majesty”), a poem entitled, She Is Gone, was recited at the Queen Mother’s funeral, which was held in Westminster Abbey on April 9, 2002. The poem recitation sparked a glut of media interest because of its simple, upbeat nature – and mystery author, who was credited in the service program as “Anon” [i.e., Anonymous]. Apparently, Her Majesty found the poem while leafing through old memorial service books and she chose it to be read at her mother’s funeral, where it struck a chord with millions of mourners.

After the conclusion of the Queen Mother’s funeral, the BBC, The Times, and other U.K. media outlets took great effort to identify the author, with attributions going to, among others, Immanuel Kant and Joyce Grenfell. Eventually, it was discovered that the true author was Mr. David Harkins, who wrote the poem in 1981 while working at a bakery. Mr. Harkins, who now works as an artist selling paintings over the Internet, said he “couldn’t believe his eyes” when he saw his poetry published in several newspapers after the funeral.

Quite shocked by all of the media attention, David Harkins sent the original manuscript of the poem originally entitled, “Remember Me,” to Prince Charles (of Wales), and St. James’s Palace later replied thanking Mr. Harkins for explaining its origin. The reply received by David Harkins from the Prince of Wales’ office stated: “I have no doubt that it [Remember Me] will be reproduced on many occasions over the years to come. The Prince of Wales has asked me to send you his very best wishes.”

I chose to include Remember Me as part of my tribute to Joe for two reasons. First, the poem is instructive as to how Joe would want all of us to continue on with our lives, including breast cancer advocacy, energized by our kind and loving memories of him. Second, Joe would undoubtedly find great joy and humor in the fact that a talented baker from a small U.K. town became famous worldwide for his literary prowess rather than his pastries.

So, the next time that we think of Joe, we should heed the message set forth in the final line of the poem Remember Me: “… Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

The full text of Remember Me is provided below.

Remember Me

You can shed tears that he is gone

Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone

Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

– written by David Harkins, Silloth, Cumbria, U.K. (1981)(Note: all female references appearing in the original poem were changed to male references)

With Deepest Sympathy,
Paul Cacciatore
Founder, Libby's H*O*P*E*

Audrey · 08-25-2010, 01:23 PM

Thanks for posting--the Remember Me poem was just beautiful and a wonderful tribute to our dear Joe

caya · 08-25-2010, 08:07 PM

Yes thanks Libby for posting this - I am still in shock.

all the best
caya

bejuce · 08-26-2010, 10:34 AM

Words escape me as to what to say. I read about Joe's passing while visiting family in Brazil and have been thinking about him, Christine, and their girls ever since. Although I have never met them in person, I come to this site on an almost daily basis from my iPhone for camaraderie, support, hope, and breast cancer news. I'm forever grateful to Joe and Christine for putting this site together and creating this wonderful community.

My heart bleeds with sorrow, but is comforted in the faith that Joe's spirit lives on through this site and has joined the angels watching over us.

Christine, you have always been my inspiration and given me much hope to continue my journey. Please know that you, Joe, and your family is loved by many, and that we're united in soul and spirit in this site.

Marcia

Tom · 08-28-2010, 08:13 AM

Dear Danielle and Family,

I am speechless. I have not visited the site for some time, and when I finally decided to put my toe back in the pool I got smacked in the face with this horrible news. I am so very sorry that you and all of us have lost our hero.

I will never forget how stunned I was when a short time after I made my first desperate post on the website regarding my Mom's diagnosis, I received a call from Joe offering help and information. At that very moment, I felt my hopelessness, fear, and isolation change to hope and the will to fight. I will never forget him and Christine.

God Bless you Joe and Christine for all you have done and continue to do for those battling this disease, and those who love them. Thank you for all of your help and inspiration. May the Lord embrace you and your family.

Sincerely,
Tom