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Old 10-03-2012, 06:40 PM   #1
europa
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First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Well, the day is slowly creeping up on me and every minute I feel more and more anxious. I have my first MRI post chemo and radiation. I'm still on herceptin every 3 weeks. I am so frightened that they will find something and this fear has completely paralyzed me. Everyone wants to make plans for next week and clients want to firm up meetings but all I can think about is this stupid MRI. I have lost sleep, big time. My doctor gave me some tiny little pills that are suppose to relax me but I have a feeling I will need the dose for an elephant.
I think I'm so scared because I have had a slight pain near my right rib cage. It comes an goes. Sometimes I've gone a month without feeling a thing. I keep thinking it may be mets to, oh gee...lung/bones/liver...or any organ in that area. I have burst into tears at the idea of going down that road. The only thing that is slightly making me feel like I have a good shot at it being clear is that I recently qualified for the Metformin trial and they took ridiculous amounts of blood. they tested me for EVERYTHING including markers and my liver function. So I assume if I had any active cells something would of popped up in my blood.
I just don't know if I can live fearing things like MRIs. I hate being scared. And I'm a fiery redhead (well I was, hair grew back auburn)...I was never scared of anything. Until now.
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.


www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag

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Old 10-03-2012, 07:49 PM   #2
Cathya
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Europa;

I so totally understand your feelings. I also have had pain in my ribs that comes and goes.....for 6 years!! It must be from the operation and many scans have shown no mets....perhaps this is you too. However, at this point until someone tells you they have found mets please try not to worry. When I was first diagnosed and before I found this site, I knew a woman in the next town who had breast cancer. Whenever I would feel panic I would call her. She would calm me down by reminding me that no one was telling me something horrible, that at that point I had nothing to worry about. I found that over time knowledge was truly power. The more I learned from this site about my cancer the more relaxed I became....not all the time of course...these tests are truly taxing...but we have every reason to be positive and hopeful today and so do you. Europa, I don't know if this helps but I hope so. I'll be watching for your results. Take care.

Cathy
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Cathy

Diagnosed Oct. 2004 3 cm ductal, lumpectomy Nov. 2004
Diagnosed Jan. 2005 tumor in supraclavicular node
Stage 3c, Grade 3, ER/PR+, Her2++
4 AC, 4 Taxol, Radiation, Arimidex, Actonel
Herceptin for 9 months until Muga dropped and heart enlarged
Restarting herceptin weekly after 4 months off
Stopped herceptin after four weekly treatments....score dropped to 41
Finished 6 years Arimidex
May 2015 diagnosed with ovarian cancer
Stage 1C
started 6 treatments of carboplatin/taxol
Genetic testing show BRCA1 VUS
Nice! My hair came back really curly. Hope it lasts lol. Well it didn't but I liked it so I'm now a perm lady
29 March 2018 Lung biopsy following chest CT showing tumours in pleura of left lung, waiting for results to the question bc or ovarian
April 20, 2018 BC mets confirmed, ER/PR+ now Her2-
Questions about the possibility of ovarian spread and mets to bones so will be tested and monitored for these.
To begin new drug Palbociclib (Ibrance) along with Letrozole May, 2018.
Genetic testing of ovarian tumour and this new lung met will take months.
To see geneticist to be retested for BRCA this week....still BRCA VUS
CA125 has declined from 359 to 12 as of Aug.23/18


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Old 10-03-2012, 08:01 PM   #3
caya
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Hi Europa,

Sweetie, the first scans after treatment are always the most worrisome - you don't want to go back to that place, and of course you are nervous (hey, terrified even). But remember that you have had excellent treatment, are still on Herceptin, and like you said, had major blood work that I assume was great...

I can tell you that as a nearly six year survivor, the fear and anxiety will get better. Cathya gives good advice - until someone tells you that you have mets - you don't. Be vigilant, of course - I think most of us follow the 2-3 week guideline i.e. it something is hurting/bothering you consistently for 2 -3 weeks, see your onc.

Take the Ativan (I am guessing those are the little white pills the dr. gave you for the MRI) - ask what the max. amount you can take before the test, and take 'em.

Let us know how it goes. You'll be okay, wait and see.

all the best
caya
__________________
ER90%+/PR 50%+/HER 2+
1.7 cm and 1.0 cm.
Stage 1, grade 2, Node Negative (16 nodes tested)
MRM Dec.18/06
3 x FEC, 3 x Taxotere
Herceptin - every 3 weeks for a year, finished May 8/08

Tamoxifen - 2 1/2 years
Femara - Jan. 1, 2010 - July 18, 2012
BRCA1/BRCA2 Negative
Dignosed 10/16/06, age 48 , premenopausal
Mild lymphedema diagnosed June 2009 - breast surgeon and lymph. therapist think it's completely reversible - hope so.
Reclast infusion January 2012
Oopherectomy October 2013
15 Years NED!!
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Old 10-03-2012, 08:26 PM   #4
Becky
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Dear Europa

I am 8 years out and have rib pain on my cancer side (rt). It is not as bad as it used to be but early on, it really freaked me out. I also had a lumpectomy and when the colder weather starts to come in, my breast scar seems to pull. In the beginning, when I still had follow ups with the surgeon, she said this is normal for some women.

This is a scary time - it lasts for alittle while (2-3 years but the fear wanes during that time). But right now is the scariest. After awhile, you really won't think about it too much. I will say that I do get anxious during mammos etc. I figure it could happen again so this is very normal.

We are here for you and the mri will be behind you soon enough.

Big hugs to you.
__________________
Kind regards

Becky

Found lump via BSE
Diagnosed 8/04 at age 45
1.9cm tumor, ER+PR-, Her2 3+(rt side)
2 micromets to sentinel node
Stage 2A
left 3mm DCIS - low grade ER+PR+Her2 neg
lumpectomies 9/7/04
4DD AC followed by 4 DD taxol
Used Leukine instead of Neulasta
35 rads on right side only
4/05 started Tamoxifen
Started Herceptin 4 months after last Taxol due to
trial results and 2005 ASCO meeting & recommendations
Oophorectomy 8/05
Started Arimidex 9/05
Finished Herceptin (16 months) 9/06
Arimidex Only
Prolia every 6 months for osteopenia

NED 18 years!

Said Christopher Robin to Pooh: "You must remember this: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"
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Old 10-04-2012, 05:46 AM   #5
europa
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Thank you all. I took an Ativan last night and felt fabulous. I think every human being should have these on hand.
I also put a hot pad on my back and ribs and the pain went away. The pain in my ribs is on the other side (not my bc side), and that is why I am so scared. My bc was on my left and the pain is on my right so I fear the worst. But this morning I feel nothing. I guess tomorrow will tell.
My onc said that if they find something I will get a call. So, I my "pop open a bottle of sparkling apple cider" moment will be 630pm.
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.


www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag

8 YEARS NED
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Old 10-04-2012, 11:04 AM   #6
BonnieR
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Ah, Ativan and a hot pad! Sounds perfect. Take as needed!
Keep us informed and keep the faith.
__________________
Bonnie

Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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Old 10-04-2012, 02:08 PM   #7
Lien
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Dear Europa,

Been there, done that. That first test after treatment flattened me. I felt that making appointments for the next week would be tempting fate. I totally went to pieces. It was almost anticlimactic when I got the results: Everything's fine.

I had this wonderful tech for the mammo who showed me on the screen what she was seeing, which was all normal, then she went to show the images to the doc, who looked at them straight away and declared that there was nothing to worry about. Then she came back and said: I'm not allowed to tell you that the doctor said everything is fine, so I never said this.

I almost hugged her. She said: I know what it's like, the first time.

I wish you great techs and wonderful docs.

Love

Jacqueline
__________________
Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:17 PM   #8
europa
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

I survived the MRI. I haven't gotten a call from the doctor and was told that if they found something they would call. Not doing the victory dance yet...until Tuesday afternoon. But I am so thankful it's over. Now for a little pizza and Ativan....nite nite
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.


www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag

8 YEARS NED
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:19 PM   #9
Paula O
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Hope Tuesday brings great news!

Paula
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:02 PM   #10
Jackie07
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Europa,

My recurrence five years ago was exactly like yours: Stage 2B with two nodes. I was only able to get 4 weekly Herceptin after six rounds (18 weeks) of TCH. So far I've been doing well breast cancer wise. (I have a history of brain tumor since childhood - not found until I was 30.

Take deep breaths when you are doing the scan - I always hyperventilates when I am inside the tube.

Sending you good vibes...
__________________
Jackie07
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
http://www.asco.org/ASCOv2/MultiMedi...=114&trackID=2

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3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement (600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:33 PM   #11
CoolBreeze
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

FYI: Back in the days when I wanted news fast, I always called. I never waited. Now, I don't mind waiting but I have found that if it's good news, the doctor will authorize a secretary to tell you and if it's bad they want you to come in, or they at least tell you on the phone. So, try that so you don't have to wait.

I'm sure it's good news by now!
__________________
http://butdoctorihatepink.com

08/17/09 Dx'd.
Multifocal/multicentric IDC, largest 3.4 cm, associated ADH, LCIS, DCIS
HER2+ ER+/PR- Grade 3, Node Negative

10/20/2009: Right mastectomy, reconstruction with TE
12/02/2009: Six rounds TCH, switched to Taxol halfway through due to neuropathy
03/31/2010: Finished chemo
05/01/2010: Began tamoxifen, the worst drug ever
11/18/2010: Reconstruction completed
12/02/2010: Finished herceptin
05/21/2011: Liver Mets. Quit Tamoxifen
06/22/2011: Navelbine/Zometa/Herceptin
10/03/2011: Liver Resection, left lobe. Microwave ablation, right lobe - going for cure!
11/26/2011: C-Diff Superbug Infection, "worst case doctor had seen in 20 years"
03/28/2012: Progression in ablated section of the liver - no more cure. Started Abraxane, continue herceptin/zometa
10/10/2012: Progression continues, started Halaven, along with herceptin and zometa.
01/15/2013: Progression continues, started Gemzar and Perjeta, an unusual combo, continuing with herceptin and zometa
03/13/2013: Quit Gemzar, body just won't handle it. Staying on herceptin, zometa and perjeta.
04/03/2013: CT shows 50% regression in tumor, so am starting back on Gemzar with dose reduction, staying with perjeta/herceptin/zometa. Can't argue with success!
05/09/2013: Discussing SBRT with Radiology due to inability of bone marrow to recover from chemo.
06/07/2013: Fiducial placement for SBRT
07/03/2013: Chemo discontinued, on Perjeta, Herceptin and Zometa alone
07/25/2013: SBRT (gamma knife) begins
08/01/2013: SBRT completed
08/15/2013: STABLE! continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa
06/18/2014: ***** NED!!!!***** continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa
01/29/2014: Still NED. continuing with Perjeta, Herceptin. Zometa lowered to every 3 months instead of monthly.
11/08/2015: Progression throughout abdomen and lungs. Started TDM-1, aka Kadcyla. Other meds discontinued. Remission was nice while it lasted.

5/27/18: Stable. Kadcyla put me right back in the barn. I have two teeny spots on my lungs that are metabolically inactive, and liver is clean.

I’m beating this MFer. I was 51 when this started and had two kids, 22 and 12. Now I’m 60. My oldest got married and trying to start s family. My youngesg graduates from Caltech this June. My stepdaughter gave me grandkids. Life is fantastic.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:34 PM   #12
europa
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Thank you so much! I am hoping to hear nothing on Tuesday.

Jackie: that tube was a bit intimidating. But thankfully I'm okay with small spaces. But once every 3-6 months is enough for me.
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.


www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag

8 YEARS NED
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Old 10-07-2012, 08:40 AM   #13
LoisLane
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

Hi Europa Great advice from the ladies! It certainly is anxiety provoking having scans but it does get better. That advice that you dont have mets until someone tells you that you do is wonderful advice. I will keep that in mind when I next have to have any kind of scan to keep that anxiety in check. I am coming up five years soon and it really does get better. Oh yes, ativan, heating pad, comfy slippers, tea etc. etc. I love you all xoxo
__________________
August 2008
Lumpectomy left breast
1 tumour 0.9 cm
Her2 negative
lymph nodes negative
venous/lymphatic invasion absent
ER+PR-
Stage I Grade 2
Radiation and Femara

November 2008
Lumpectomy right breast
2 tumours .03 cm and .05 cm and extensive DCIS
.05 tumour Her2+
lymph node negative
venous/lymphatic invasion "indeterminate"
ER+PR low postive
Stage 1 Grade 2

January 2009
bilateral mastectomy
chemotherapy taxotere
Herceptin one year
Femara
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Old 10-08-2012, 02:39 PM   #14
europa
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Re: First post-treatment scan and I am beyond freaked out

So far, no call from the doctor's office. I'm giving it until tomorrow. Just in case. Then, tomorrow night, I will be doing the happy dance.
__________________
DX 10/2011
PET Scan + MRI 10/2011
Lumpectomy 11/11/11
Stage 2B +++ ER+(10%), PR+(5%), HER2+++(1 positive node, 1 micromets to second node)
AC started 12/2011 ended 1/2012
Taxol + Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks ended 4/2012
30 zaps of radiation done 6/2012
Tamoxifen 6/2012
every 3 weeks of Herceptin for another year.
Metformin Trial 8/12
10/12 MRI- CLEAR
01/13 BRAIN MRI- CLEAR!
01/13 Neck MRI- CLEAR!
FINISHED HERCEPTIN 1/9/2013...Woot Woot
Starting Walter Reed Vaccine Trial 2/13
CT Scans + ultrasound of abdomen CLEAR-5/13
02/2015 through 11/2015 emergency D&Cs for Tamoxifen induced uterine polyps which caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging
12/2015 blood clot to left leg caused by Tamoxifen. No longer taking it. On Xarelto, a blood thinner
12/2015 Ablation to prevent hemorrhaging from potential issues with Tamoxifen residue in my system
1/2016 continuing journey without hormonal therapy. Reevaluating the option of a hysterectomy and oopherectomy.
4/1/2018 2mm stroke. Yes, stroke! No cause ever found but they believe it was a migraine that went bonkers and created a tiny clot. No deficits. I was back to normal with 24hrs. Now on baby aspirin for life.
7/27/2018 hysterectomy and oopherectomy
01/07/2019 Mastectomy and expanders put in
3/22/2019 Vtach, almost died. Cause unknown.
7/22/2019 New perky boobs put in
7/21/2020 Off of all drugs but a baby aspirin because of the stroke in 2018.


www.mychemobag.org
www.facebook.com/mychemobag

8 YEARS NED
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