~At What Point Do I Contact Hospice?~

The above post was from me,Marcia

[chrisy]

Marie,
I was going to post this offline to you, but I decided that the rest of the "family" could hear it too because this belongs to all of us, not just to you (even tho you ARE the most special , although don't tell because I've told others THEY are the most special and I meant it then too).

Whatever you decide to do, do it for yourself and for Ed and do not feel that you need to hold back or protect us from your fears, sadness, anger or whatever it is you are feeling.

If you can't share it here, where else? We all know this is not Disneyland even though at times it is the happiest place on earth as we are able to share hopes, joys, victories and even a full forum where we can "keep our minds off cancer".

This is a place to share encouragement, both in the form of emotional support and in the remarkable research discoveries that unfold daily. This is a forum that does push people to continue the fight, and provide information and weapons to do that. I believe it gives people the courage to keep going, further than they thought possible. And that is a good thing (although even that drives some people away!)

We are a family by choice - none of us chose to live with breast cancer, but we do choose to be HERE. We call it a forum but it is really a haven.

To be a true haven, it must be safe to come no matter what you have to say, or feel. Even, and especially, when you are on the brink of despair or worse. It's like the old saying, "home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in". Well, HERE is the place that, when you have to stand against your fears, we have to stand with you.

We do self-censor because we are lucky enough to "live" in a family that includes those who are likely to be cured as well as those who just hope to outlast the devil while stretching for that cure that's just around the corner. I am so grateful to this family, because I couldn't bear to be in a "stage IV quarantine". But I think we do a disservice to ourselves, (and to those courageous "early-stagers" who stay and love us and look us in the eye EVEN THO we represent their worst nightmare) if we don't show it all.

Marie, we are here to honor and help you and MO in whatever you are facing, whatever choices you are making. We of course care deeply what you are feeling and can't help praying and hoping and crying with and for you. And I, for one, would feel deeply cheated if you held back because you were afraid of depressing ME.

All my love,
Chris

[Jean]

Chrisy,
Thank you for your previous post....it speaks volumes to all of us. You deeply touched my heart and I appreciate your wise words to Marie and all of us. You touched on all the parts of our beautiful puzzle that makes this community and family special and "whole"!

Proud to be here!
Jean

[Colleens_Husband]

Marie:

I helped Colleen with her mother's hospice care and it was an extremely hard time for Colleen. Colleen and her sister, Kim, took care of their mother in home while working full time. I admire their strength and dedication, but I also know that they tried to keep their mother out of hospice care for far too long. When Kim had a car wreck driving home after taking care of their mother due to exhaustion, it became obvious to everyone that their mother should have been in hospice much earlier. So when is the best time to go to hospice? Only you will know.

Each state and each insurance company has different rules which are sometimes strange and Byzantine under the best of circumstances. MaryJo gave you some very wise advice, go to the hospice today and get your ducks in a row while your coping skills are able to deal with things you will not want to hear, talk about, or think about.

Marie, I find it very sad that you even need to think about hospice but I will pray for you and Ed. I pray that Ed has a turn-around and that you and Ed will share many more years together. I also pray that if that is not in God's will that you and Ed have an abundance of strength.

Marie, please take excellent care of yourself.

Lee

[alicem]

Chrisy,

Thank you for what you wrote. It couldn't have been said any better and it is exactly what I am feeling, so again, thank you!

Marie,

I also echo what Colleen's Husband said - - - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

Love,

Alice

[Believe51]

rl2.....posted this here taking the chance that you received e-mails on your subscribed threads.

If you are ever in Rhode Island for a visit I want you to contact me. I would love to meet up with you even if it is around holidays. Keep us in mind, I'd love that.>>Believe51