Completely off topic but can someone tell me

[nitewind]

First of all, I am not a vain person. I've been thru so much with the cancer treatments and all and I'm still doing herceptin till December. I look like I've aged twenty years in the last year and a half. I'm so depressed that I can't look in the mirror ( I see my grandmother looking back at me)! My face has gotten so many lines and creases and wrinkles, I know there's not much I can do there ( I need a miracle). But, I've always had very nice blonde hair and now it's a mousey brown and about a inch and a half long. What I want to know is do you think it would hurt to do my hair back to blonde? Or should I wait till all treatment is over? Honestly, if you could have seen me two years ago, I look like a totally different person, I don't recognize myself. This is very tough on my self esteem. I'm so very grateful for the treatments that are saving my life and I hate to sound vain, but this is really getting to me. I feel pathetic asking because so many are going thru such worse things. I just don't know who else to ask. What do you think?
Hugs

[Barbara H.]

I think you should do whatever you have to do to help your self esteem. Hair coloring is much safer today.
Best wishes.
Barbara H.

[Becky]

I colored my hair about 4 months after my last Taxol. It was still "art gallery owner" short. It was almost completely grey even though before bc it was a mix of brown and grey. I dyed it light natural brown and I haven't looked back since.

I also felt chemo/herceptin puts more lines on the face. I used a good moisturizer now and ROC deep wrinkle formula at night. I really do think it helps. I also am a makeup freak. Sheila can tell you this as she was my roommate at San Antonio last year (I have every color of eyeshadow and eyeliner created). I swear by it and I don't care. I am not an all natural girl except for what I put in my body. But the outside's fair game. Get the hair dyed. Moisturize and get a make over (they will help you with the skin care too - ROC has retinol in it and its really supposed to help with the wrinkles). You deserve to be pampered this way. If you can get the best friend/sister/daughter to make over with you, it can be a real party.

Love, Becky (whose hair isn't really this color)

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Susan,

Go for it! It is essential to your self-image, which is essential to your attitude, your joy level and SPIRIT. The worse I look, the lousier I feel...

I am just like Becky. I had black hair, as my Father. Then I had silver white and black. Black dye looks hideously fake, so I went for an eggplanty rich brown. I've since added some blond highlights. (I even had a few yrs of RED, for fun.) After being bald for the second time, I was in need of cheering myself up!

Makeup is necessary to create the ME I wish to be. Blush, mascara, shadow and lip gloss are the bare essentials. For me, foundation is required. I'm fussy about having an even tone. And I like to add liner, to dramatize my eyes.

Since second round of chemo I have lost my hair line (like a balding older man, receding and gross), I have NO eyebrows and few of my once thick lashes. I work it. I work w/what I have. Found out how to create eyebrows. Use mascara base to amplify what's there. People say I look great (I wonder do they mean for a 4th stage bc person?)... I feel great. I like who I see in the mirror, once I get going -- w/props. Aunt Annie used to call it Powder and paint. Whatever. Like smoke and mirrors, I create an illusion.

But you must start with proper skin care! Or no makeup is going to make you look healthy and glowy. I gently exfoliate away the dead, dry skin cells daily. I rinse thoroughly, making a flood around the sink. (I Waterpik and Sonocare my teeth daily. My dentist gives me a PLATINUM star when I go for my ev 4 mnth cleaning.) I use a toner to help replenish my PH level after cleansing, and further remove dead, dry cells that leave your skin looking dull. And then I moisturize! Day and night.

I use Curel on my body, starting at my feet and working my way up to my throat, including hands of course -- morning and night. So my smile is shiny white. And my skin is dewy vs flaky and wrinkly! I use a 5X magnification mirror to see w/o my glasses and I do see some creases, but people often tell me I have good skin.

I do all this when I am exhausted, when I don't feel like it, when I'm sick, no matter what. It is part of what I deem essential to my hygiene and my mental health.

Treat yourself well, Susan. Pamper yourself. I am a shower girl, but some like to soak in a hot tub w/aromatic scents. Now, more than ever, you deserve to be fussed over. The results are worth the trouble. I am 63 and feel 33. Well, some days I feel like I'm 105, but those days are fewer than the good ones.

Now I admit that the Godzilla that greets me first thing is a pathetic mess who needs some serious attention. So I get to work, right off. People tell me, You always look good. I think, Well, I always try... I give it my best shot. Do that with every thing in your life. YOU DESERVE TO SHINE!
Andi

I colored my hair the first time I had enough hair to color--about an inch, maybe less! Do it, and feel good about yourself.

[Debra]

Yes color your hair. Also ditto info on the moisturizers. I too had dry, wrinkly and creasing skin but have since eliminated that with lots of moisturizer which I have always been big on. I also really like the bare minerals makeup---very natural with great coverage! Other then my extra 17 pounds I feel like I am looking a little more back to my pre-cancer face. I went back to golden blonde again after my hair grew in a mousy brown. Do it! You will feel better and as some others mentioned, have a makeup--make over! Having your self-esteem back is part of getting back to a new normal so don't think it is trivial.

[MagnoliaforJenny]

This was truly one of Jenny's biggest complaints. I helped her out with skin care and cosmetics and she said it made an AMAZING difference in her outlook. She looks in the mirror and feels better. She was never one for make up much, but boy she loves it now

Do whatever it takes to look your best, every day!! It makes you feel better.

[rinaina]

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I colored my hair as soon as there was enough to color and my oncologist and nurse both said to go for it. My skin has changed and I feel I have aged through my year and a half since being diagnosed. I had to laugh when you said you see your grandmother looking back at you when you look in the mirror, not because it is funny, but because everyone tells me I look more and more like my grandmother and I never use to get that before cancer. She was a great lady and I am happy to resemble someone of her stature however, it's not what you want to hear right now when you feel you have lost how you use to look. Color your hair and go for a make up consultation and do whatever else it takes to perk you up. You deserve it.

[Merridith]

Hi Nitewind:

Prematurely aging skin seems to be a very common side effect of chemo. Your body doesn't produce it's normal oils anymore. You have to replace it.

Dry, wrinkly skin happened to me and every other woman that I know that has taken chemo. I figured I aged me 10 years in 3 months.

The problem doesn't seem to reverse either. I am now 3 years out from chemo.

One solution I found was to put VERY heavy cream on my face - the stuff I use is by Roc Dermatologic for very dry & atopic skin. You can get it off of Ebay cheaper than the chemists.

Another option is foot cream. It is heavier than hand cream. You need to let it soak in.

Normal face cream (even expensive stuff) doesn't come close to cutting it.

You will notice the difference within 24 hours. Your skin will feel more 'normal' and the wrinkles will be less apparent. (I use it everywhere).

Regards,
Merridith

[Mgarr]

My hair was always blonde and it came back like yours. Dull, mousey brown so as soon as I had enough I went to the health food store bought different colors & hennas to see what colors I would like. I had fun and it wasn't terribly expensive.

I'm sure you'll look mavelous darling!

Mar

[nitewind]

Ladies, I love all of you! I didn't realize that it happens to everyone from the chemo. I'm going to go with the hair coloring and Roc moisturizer and when I get a little money saved up, I'll try the makeup too. Thank you so much, you've really made me feel a lot better.
Big Hugs

[Donna]

All the moisturizing in the world isn't gonna help if you don't get rid of those dead skin cells first! I use Dr. Denise's glycolic acid pads, but alpha hydroxy acid works too. THEN use the best moisturizer you can find - I have a bank of them. During chemo I continued my exfoliation and used really good moisturizers and my skin stayed very healthy - I never noticed a difference. I could tell it was working because my lips and eyes were soooooo dry - so I had to use tons of lip softeners and eye drops, but my skin still glowed.

Nothing wrong at all with wanting to feel and look healthy!

Love to you all,

Donna

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

As I think I mentioned, EXFOLIATING is essential, as Donna says. However, glycolic acid is very drying. I use SHISEIDO creamy cleansing foam mousse. (It comes in a tube... When I get to what seems to be the very bottom, I cut the tube in half and put the halves in a ziploc and scoop out what I need -- for weeks to come.)

I mix this with LANCOME Exfoliating Confort cream, adding just a little to the cleanser on my face and BUFFING it all around with my fingertips. It gets rid of the dull dead skin cells and polishes the skin to a nice glow. And it helps to plane down the crevices!! Additionally, this daily facial massage is very important to stimulating circulation and natural processes of replenishment. I do this every single day -- rinsing with warm water really really well!

I do the same *economical* tube saving method w/this exfoliator that you can *control* (using more or less depending on how much help you feel your skin needs) so I get many more miles...

I use Shiseido Balancing Toner to further sluff off the dull dead cells and shine! Then, I moisturize. Giving myself another 2 minute facial massage. Let your face reflect your inner glow! Breathe. Go to your center. Connect... And live OPEN to the possibilities...

Oh, also -- drug store makeup is fine. You want to go for soft earthy tones to delineate and highlight your best features -- eyes and cheekbones.

Many salespeople behind department store counters can help guide you. There are free makeovers you can sign up for. They hope you'll fall in love w/a product and become a customer. It isn't mandatory, however. And I find as I talk and explain my chemo situation, people are extraordinarily delighted to be helpful! I can make fast friends, chatting away as I would to someone I know. Being myself. And, they often give free samples too...
You can emulate what you learn w/drugstore fare quite nicely, I've found.
Andi

[madubois63]

I'll take this opportunity to recommend the Look Good Feel Better program. It is a free seminar for those of us going through cancer. They teach you skin, hair and nail care for during and after chemo. You get to go home with a big box of FREE makeup and it's all really good stuff...Mary Kay, Avon, Clinique...They usually have a sunscreen and a moisturizer in the box along with eye shadows, lipstick everything else you'd need... I highly recommend for everyone to go. I've been a makeup fanatic since I was a teen, and I learned a lot from the program. They'll teach you how to fake eye brows and tie scarves. They have wigs too. I've gone twice - the first time I had bc and then after the relapse.

[hutchibk]

HOLD UP Susan!! I am a hairstylist... please don't go to the store and use box color to color your own hair to blonde. You could very well get an unintended color. Going a bit darker with "box color" is much safer than box blondes when you have been on chemo. If you want blonde, please go to a salon and tell them that you have had a year of harsh chemo chemicals. Your hair will retain anything that has been in your blood stream, sometimes for months and sometimes for years...and many meds and pharmaceuticals can react unpleasantly with color or perm chemicals for the hair. Your safest way to go blonde is to let a stylist do it, and know going in that it may not come out the exact color that you used to have or the exact blonde that you have in mind, even if when a professional is doing it.

[dee]

It ISN"T. Witness the responses. Don't be afraid to share comments - they're ALL "on comment..." Our experiences may seem different, but in a broad way, we share much of the same.

dee

[sassy]

I was a coco-butter baby during treatment. My skin was very dry all over so I slathered up from head (my bald head shined!) to toe in coco-butter twice a day. I ended up with the best facial complexion I've ever had. (I don't have it anymore--gone back to my usual occasional blemish.) People commented on my complexion all the time. Its inexpensive too!

[Mgarr]

Sorry, Brenda's advice is wise!

I should have made myself a little clearer. I did not go back to blonde after chemo. The things that I used on my hair were hennas, (I used Surya henna) with no ammonia or peroxides. It added some temporary color & shine.

When I had enough hair I couldn't wait to go have it colored & cut -- I love having my hair done & I change it on regular basis.

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Brenda is so right. When my hair grew back -- both times -- it was like FRIED HAIR. Brillo. Weak. Delicate. Easily breakable. I shampooed gently ev 3 days and used 5 min conditioner then and leave in ev day. My hairdresser was afraid to do anything but the gentlest of color.

To this day, the hair around my face (where my hairline decided not to make an appearance, after the 2nd round of chemo -- like male pattern baldness, how insulting!) that hair is especially vulnerable and I give it extra good care, as it demands. I style my hair to camouflauge my deficiencies. You'd never know...

Andi

[jones7676]

I think you should do whatever you need to so that you feel beautiful and wonderful....you deserve it!