Scanxiety - Brain MRI & Full Body PET tomorrow~

[jml]

Hi Friends~
I've been rather quiet on the boards lately as I've been enjoying my 3 month rendezvous with NED - my first since 2007 in this 10yr StageIV odyssey. But I check in regularly and to keep tabs on how everyone's doing.
I'm so sad for our sisters who are struggling right now and pray daily for each of us.
Tomorrow is a big day for me - Brain MRI in the morning, then immediately after that I'll see my Rad Onc and get the results, then right after that, a full body PET. I'll see my Onc tomorrow and get the PET scan results at that time.
I've been struggling for weeks now, questioning every little sensation (do I feel something in my brain? is that tickle under my sternum the nodes growing with disease? will a little peptobismal help my stromach ache and nausea? is that my liver or just gas?)and tryng to resist the urge to post here, asking for feed back or researching the internet for symptoms...
Ultimately, I know that we won't know until we KNOW, and all this worry isn't going to contribute to how effective my next treatment or any treatment will be, if I need that next treatment.
I hope and pray to God that I won't need that next treatment. But Thank God there is a next treatment, thanks to Perjecta and TDM1 just around the corner Sometimes the fear is overwhelming. Snowballing thoughts of what the next step will be if my brain &/or body are not clean... having to call my family with sad news, having to post here to you all the sad news, starting a new treatment that may or may not work, and if it doesn't, the disease growing out of control and stealing my time on this earth. The dreaded snowball.
I distract myself with little projects, and happy thoughts and plans for the future, like the next time I'll be with my family this Thanksgiving.
And then I remind myself to breathe.
Will post results as soon as I have them.

Keeping the Faith~

Jml