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Old 01-09-2012, 06:02 PM   #21
Mary Jo
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Location: Sheboygan, WI
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Re: i lost my brother....

Yes, Michele, I do pray and ask God to give you peace. I am so, so sorry. Such a hard time for you and your family.

May knowing many our lifting you up in prayer and how much we care for you bring you some comfort.

Mary Jo
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"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC
ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++
RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor
Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node
No Vasucular Invasion
4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin
1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks
28 rads
prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06

17 Years NED

<>< Romans 8:28
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Old 01-10-2012, 01:07 PM   #22
Sandra in GA
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Location: Moultrie, GA
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Re: i lost my brother....

Michele,
I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. I am praying for peace for you and your family.
Sandra
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Diagnosed: 7/25/08 ~ age 63, no family history
Surgery: 8/14/08 Bilateral mastectomy; tumor left breast, node dissection; right prophylactic with expanders: 1/12/10 latisimuss dorsi flap on left side: 9/22/10 implants in
Pathology Report: ER/PR-; HER2+ (3+); Grade 3, StageIII; 3cm tumor plus 21/21 lymph nodes positive; 5cm DCIS
Chemo: A/C; Taxol/Herceptin/Tykerb; phase II study at Mayo adding Tykerb for early stage
Radiation: 25 rads
Vaccine: Walter Reed GP2/AE37 vaccine study ~ last booster 9/17/2012
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:57 PM   #23
Lien
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Location: Haarlem, the Netherlands
Posts: 835
Re: i lost my brother....

I am so sorry, Michelle. Sending healing vibes to you and your family.

My brother died when I was 16. He was mentally and physically disabled and quite often in pain. Even though he was released from that pain, I still felt guilty in many ways. There is no rational reason for feeling that way, but it is what happens when a loved one is very dependent on us. I think our mothering genes kick in and we feel responsible. Even to the point that we feel guilty if they don't do well. What helped me at the time was looking after other disabled kids as a volunteer. It brought me closure.

Perhaps it could help to look at it this way: your brother had a very serious disease for which there is still no cure. It is a disease of the brain. You helped him, but despite all your efforts, there was no treatment that worked for him. He might not have lived that long if you hadn't been there for him. So you did what you could with the limited knowledge we have about his disease, while you were dealing with your own cancer, while you had a million other things you had to deal with. I'm convinced he knew that in his "good" moments.

It is a bit like when one of our Her2 sisters passes: we helped as much as we could, but it wasn't enough to save her. We need more research and better understanding of all these potentially lethal conditions. Cancer. Heart disease. Mental illness. And while we don't blame ourselves or others for the first two, we sometimes blame those who are mentally ill. I strongly believe that is so unfair. Mental illness is caused by biochemical imbalance in the brain. We don't know why people get it, how they get it, so we certainly should refrain from judgeing.

Just my 2 cents.

Sending you a great big hug. You did the best you could and more.

Love

Jacqueline
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Diagnosed age 44, January 2004, 0.7 cm IDC & DCIS. Stage 1, grade 3, ER/PR pos. HER2 pos. clear margins, no nodes. SNB. 35 rads. On Zoladex and Armidex since Dec. 2004. Stopped Zoladex/Arimidex sept 2009 Still taking mistletoe shots (CAM therapy) Doing fine.
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Old 01-12-2012, 08:02 PM   #24
micheleu
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Re: i lost my brother....

Thank you all for your concern and kind words...
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Michele Ulmer

Dx.2003 Stage 3b 35 pos nodes

Dx August 2003 Stage 3B with 35/35 nodes IDC age 39
Lumpectomy
A/C x4 Taxol x12
35 radiation tx
1Year Herceptin in trial
HER2 vaccine trial Seattle
3 months Tykerb off label
NED

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