Hospital AGAIN! But you'll never guess why!

[NEDenise]

So...a "funny" thing happened on the way to the bathroom on Monday morning...

Okay...so it wasn't funny, but I'm no Mel Brooks...so I'll just cut to the chase and tell it my way!

Remember just before Christmas, and my family's trip to Florida...I hurt my back? Well...three weeks after that treatment and recovery...the act of standing up and walking from my bed to the bathroom...completely blew out one of the disks in my spine. OOOOUUUCCCHHHH!

I've given birth twice, struggled with migraines and endometriosis for 30 years, I've shattered my wrist...had it rebuilt, had a double mastectomy and reconstruction - that had to be repaired twice...and the list goes on. But I can assure you that I have never ever had pain like the pain I've suffered through since Monday. It's a searing, burning pain that goes across my left hip, and down the front of my thigh. It is unrelenting, and no amount of morphine, oxycontin, steroids, or prayer seem to have an effect that lasts more than about 90 minutes.

I was hoping for more epidural injections and then I'd go my merry way. Uh-Uh. This time they say surgery is the only relief I'm going to get.

Can you believe the %*$#(* luck I have?!!

And the worst part is...since I just went back to work in September...as of Monday, all my sick days will be used up. My HR director is Satan's spawn...and has denied me leave without pay to get my remaining H infusions during the rest of the year. I may have to go out on long term disability again ( for which I receive 66% pay...but 0% for the first 90 days - yes, that's right that means no pay for me until next September!) because I need 4 half days of leave. She also made it quite clear that under the Family/Medical leave act, you must have worked 12 consecutive months to qualify...and I've only worked 7 since returning,

What a &^%%$! She sent me an email - remember, she knows I'm laying in a hospital bed - her email stated how many leave days I have left, and reminded me that she has not yet received my doctor's note. No mention of my pain or illness. No kind regards or get well wishes. Again, I say, what a &^$$%!

Too drugged up to think it all through clearly - ME, NOT her - so like Scarlett O'Hara - I'll think about that tomorrow.

Please pray for some pain relief. Please pray for some better way to solve my need for leave. Please pray I don't "go postal" because of the pain and the frustration combined.

On a happy note...all the docs and staff have been great! What a blessing!
Hugs to all! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!
Denise

[StephN]

OH DEAR! I am hurting all over again! You must have blown out L-3/L4 with the pain you describe. Exactly like I had last Labor Day. Left hip and across the front of your thigh - yep, just the same. It will start traveling down your shin.

If the MRI does not show things clearly ask for a CT MYELOGRAM. Maybe get one anyway just to make sure nothing is missed. That was how my broken off pieces of disk was seen clearly.

So, left lateral microdiskectomy for you, eh? The surgery was the easy part. I barely had any pain from it.

Take the disability because if your leg is like mine you will need a long rehab period.

I really do feel for you, dear friend!

[BonnieR]

Well, crap on a crap stick! Which I learned to say on this very board! You don't deserve any of this and you especially don't deserve the compassionate soul in HR. I thought they were supposed to be on your side! But you will prevail because you always do and your sense of humor will get you through because it always does. Keep the faith and take lots of pain meds!!

[Bunty]

Oh Denise - sending you big hugs - poor you! I know it's not nice, but I would like to something quite unpleasant to your HR director. What I know from all my time in the workforce, there is such a thing as karma!

Really hope you get some pain relief soon, and that you'll fix that darn back of yours very soon.

Best wishes, Marie x

[Ellie F]

Oh Denise, so sorry to hear this news and more c**p for you. Just wanted to say that I totally understand the HR issue. I left my job because of the victimisation and appalling treatment at the hands of an organisation with rigid and oppressive HR managers.the word compassion or extenuating circumstances is sadly lacking in their vocabulary.
Hope you soon get some relief from the pain.
Ellie

[Joanne S]

Denise! Denise! Denise! Geeez! Yee-aaah-aw-ouch!
I really think you should write a book!
I'm so very sorry to hear of your back pain and now needing surgery. I know THAT pain. I experienced similar pain last year in my hip, with it going down the front of my thigh and then intensifying under my knee cap. THAT Pain was just totally unbearable---yes, worse than natural childbirth---I was outta my mind. Many pain meds, muscle relaxers, ice/heat, and manipulative osteopathic therapy. I was fortunate I didn't need surgery. But you, omg, my heart goes out to you. And as far as work, #$%#^& that bee-otch!!! When you are able, read up on FML---don't take her word for it. Please keep us posted. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Best to you on your surgery and pain relief. Big gentle non-hurting hug, Joanne

[LeahM]

Oh Good Grief! What a pain in the a$$, or back...or thigh...
So sorry to hear this Denise, I am glad to know you are in good hands. Please keep us posted and remember that I come from a long line of Italians...if you need a little "job" done, let me know.
Gentle Hugs
Leah

[ammebarb]

Oh Denise, I am so sorry! Having to worry about leave time just when you are in such pain is absolutely awful. Well, first things first.....Hope you can soon have the surgery that will relieve your pain and fix your back. Does your school not have a "sick bank" (where teachers donate a sick day or two a year and are then part of the group who is "covered" if someone needs more than the usual? You are in my prayers, dear girl.

Barb A.

[Becky]

Can some of your colleagues donate their sick days to you? It is sometimes done elsewhere. Just thinking out loud here.

[Redwolf8812]

Shoot, Denise. Praying things get better soon.

What is it with HR employees? I hear the same thing about them all the time.

- Penny

[sarah]

Horrible to have to think about so many problems at once. Hopefully Becky's suggestion can work. if not, can you go above this person? to the boss? Sounds like you need to work somewhere else but then there's the medical transfer to think about.
take care, get well, the work thing will work out.
take care
hugs
sarah

[IrvineFriend]

So sorry Denise. I don't know who you work for or what your relationship is with your boss, but I arrange everything directly with my boss. If it's something that is going to be obvious, like weeks off to recover from surgery, we involve HR. Otherwise, I work a few hours extra some days to make up for my infusion times. He also allows me to do some work from home, but I'm fortunate that is the nature of my job. Since she's Satan's spawn, perhaps your supervisor is also aware of that. And like some of the other ladies have posted, some companies allow other employees to "donate" some of their sick time or vacation time to help another employee that has a chronic illness and is going in the red.

Sorry to hear of your pain. Pain is truly exhausting so hope you can get some rest. Prayers and good thoughts being sent from Southern CA.

-Julie

[NEDenise]

Friends,
I'm a public school teacher. My contract generously allows me 100 additional sick days when I have an extended illness - that way the 90 waiting period is not actually without pay. Unfortunately the contract stipulates that I can only use that benefit once every 2 calendar years. This takes the place of other employees being able to donate their extra days...and it hasn't been 2 years since I returned to work. The other stipulation is that before those "extra" 100 days kick in...you have to exhaust all your accumulated sick days. I should have had plenty of days to cover all my chemos and scans...but not with this whole back thing thrown in there too!

Oh! and that just keeps getting better and better too. Just got the new MRI results from last night. Good news and bad news...
Good news...the disk ant L5-S1 is only partially herniated...only moderate stenosis is likely.
Bad news...the disks at L3-L4 and L4-L5 are completely obliterated...gone..."stenosis is severe in these regions". I could have told them that, and it wouldn't have cost the insurance company 10 grand to find out!

As far as appealing to my "boss"...my principal doesn't out rank Satan's spawn. The Superintendent of Schools does...but she doesn't take calls from, or meet with, staff...ever. One receives a form email response referring your question or concern to Satan. Add to that, that we are involved in a fairly contentious contract negotiation...and the school board has hired a lawyer/negotiator who has presided over strikes in 100% of the contract negotiations he's been involved with in the past 10 years...and I really don't see HR bending the rules to help me.

It makes me sad and angry at the same time that I LOVE my job...as soon as the 3 week rehab from my back is over I could do my job happily and well again...but I'll likely have to be on disability for the rest of the year instead...because I need a handful of unpaid days to get chemo and scans...and she won't grant them. So ridiculous. So frustrating. So sad.

Ah well...one major problem at a time. It's days like these I wish I had a relative who was a lawyer...some one to write a firm letter, or make a well worded phone call to scare Satan into doing the right thing for a change. That's been the only thing that has worked so far. It's when the school district attorney tells her that what she's doing is leaving the district vulnerable to legal action that she does the right thing.

Can't remember which one of you wise ladies pointed this out...but I agree...Karma is out there...and I believe there is a special corner of hell reserved for those who are mean to sick people.

Thanks, as always for your love and support. Wouldn't want to even try to face this %$#* without you, my friends! Sending lts of love to you!
Denise

[caya]

Sorry to hear of your latest trouble sweet Denise - crap on a crapstick for sure! And I can think of no one who deserves this less than you...

Karma is out there for that b*tch - maybe not today, or tomorrow, but I firmly believe she'll get hers.

In the meantime, try to focus on you, getting well. You don't need the stress of the worry regarding your job, it's not good for you.

And even though it's not your birthday, I implore you to eat some chocolate, it IS good for you!

all the best
caya

[IrvineFriend]

I was thinking more on the lines of Corporate America and not the school system. Different situation all together and sorry you have to deal with it. How ridiculous, have to go on long term disability just for infusions weeks apart. Glad you still have a sense of humor somewhat about Satan though. Would have been a better & more appropriate nickname for my ex than the one I gave him. But you can't divorce her!

[KayeR]

Denise - I remember asking me breast surgeon one time about being able to handle all the responsibilities of my job(I'm also a school teacher) while on treatment and he said something to the effect of that the breast cancer organization would help me fight any battle I needed with work issues. He said that if I couldn't handle my job of teaching, that they (my work) would need to find another job for me while I was in treatment and that the breast cancer organization would go to war for me if needed. So, maybe an option would be to contact the breast cancer organization to see if they might be able to help you fight for the 4 or so days of treatment you need. I'm not sure how or who to contact - maybe someone else on here would know that, but I remember this conversation with my surgeon clearly even though its been 13 years ago. I tucked the conversation away in my memory bank thinking I might need to use it someday. Thought it might be worth mentioning. Good luck!! Kaye

[BonnieR]

Can you do what you imagined, actually get a lawyer to write a letter? One of those menacing medical disability types you see on TV? Not a lawsuit, just a letter from one tough operator to another. And maybe it could go above her head to upper management
Keep the faith

[kk1]

Denise;

Sorry to here you are in so much pain, and hoping you will get relief soon. As to your employer-- It is very unwise for them to deny you unpaid leave for treatment and scans. Under the ADA, cancer is a disability, and employers are required to make reasonable accommodations. There is much guidance from the EEOC to employers that they must make accommodation that may include flexible paid or unpaid leave for people with disabilities.

Satan is wrong! Send her these links and if she does not agree I'd look for a lawyer.

http://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/meetings/6-8-11/east.cfm
"The case law is consistent. The Supreme Court has recognized that that accommodations may include breaks for medical treatment, US Airways, Inc. v. Barnett, 535 U.S. 391, 397–398 (2002), and every circuit to consider the issue recognizes that leave can be a reasonable accommodation. See, e.g., Criado v. IBM Corp., 145 F.3d 437, 443 (1st Cir.1998); Walton v. Mental Health Ass’n. of Southeastern Pennsylvania, 168 F.3d 661, 671 (3d Cir. 1999) (“unpaid leave supplementing regular sick and personal days might, under other facts, represent a reasonable accommodation,” but leave requested here was not reasonable); Rodgers v. Lehman, 869 F.2d 253, 259 (4th Cir.1989) (decided under § 501 of the Rehabilitation Act); Cehrs v. Northeast Ohio Alzheimer’s Research Center, 155 F.3d 775, 782–783 (6th Cir. 1998) (medical leave of absence, paid or unpaid, may be reasonable accommodation); Haschmann v. Time Warner Entm’t Co., 151 F.3d 591, 601 (7th Cir.1998); Brannon v. Luco Mop Co., 521 F.3d 843, 849 (8th Cir. 2008); Nunes v. Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., 164 F.3d 1243, 1247 (9th Cir. 1999); Smith v. Diffee Ford-Lincoln-Mercury, Inc., 298 F.3d 955, 967 (10th Cir. 2002); Taylor v. Rice, 451 F.3d 898, 910 (D.C. Cir. 2006). See also Graves v. Finch Pruyn & Co., Inc., 457 F.3d 181, 185 n.5 (2d Cir. 2006) (noting that “[m]ost other circuits and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission have concluded that, in some circumstances, an unpaid leave of absence can be a reasonable accommodation under the ADA.”).

"But the ADA’s accommodation obligation may require deviation from company policy. As the Supreme Court has stated:
By definition any special accommodation requires the employer to treat an employee with a disability differently, i.e., preferentially. And the fact that the difference in treatment violates an employer’s disability-neutral rule cannot by itself place the accommodation beyond the Act’s potential reach. … Were that not so, the reasonable accommodation provision could not accomplish its intended objective .... Neutral break-from-work rules [for instance] would automatically prevent the accommodation of an individual who needs additional breaks from work, perhaps to permit medical visits."
"

good luck
kk1

[carlatte7]

Our dear Denise...what a bunch of poo. I agree, theres a special corner saved for nasty people inpositions of power who are rotten to sick people. You deserve a break for sure. I dont know any lawyers but I'm sending prayers for you.

[Paula O]

Hope all goes well for you!

Paula