Wishing to live to age 40

[snoopy]

Hi Carol


Have you seen

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk

or

www.phpbbserver.com/breastcancer

A couple of UK sites with discussion forums.

[Sandy H]

Welcome to this site Carol: Sorry you had to join us under these circumstances but it is a good place to be. Many caring and compassionate people that are still here because they became pro active in their treatment. I for one was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer, always a stage 111b or IV, in March 2001. Was given a very poor prognoses with NO long term survivial!! Well, here it is 5 years and we treat my disease as a chronic illness with no cure but keeping it stable and protecting my quality of life. You will no doubt hear from others and those that are stage IV and doing well. Ask lots of questions, do research for you advisors, eat well, get plenty of rest. We are here for you. Any questions you have someone on this site will be able to answer them and give you resources to look at. Keep us posted and we will be praying for you. Sending you a special hug and one for each of the little angels. Sandy

[TriciaK]

Dear, dear Carol, My heart goes out to you! I relate to the fear you feel, and yet your strong spirit shines through. The first thing I decided when I was diagnosed with BC 21 years ago was that I would never say "I am dying of cancer" or even "I have cancer." I would only say "I am FIGHTING cancer." And I refused to let anyone use the term "terminal". Life is eventually terminal for all of us who are alive! Just don't let anyone dwell on the thought of "terminal". And the first time I was told I only had so many months to live, I got mad! My feeling was " How dare you say that! I'll show you how wrong you are!" and I did! I have licked it 3 times, the last two times were stage IV, always er and pr positive. The last time in June of 2004 was her2. It was the worst of all, but because of herceptin, it is now a good thing to be her2. Now there are ways to fight that never existed before. I am now NED again (No Evidence of Disease). I agree with Lisa and those on this website who have said to ignore the predictions of those who say how long you have to live. Only God knows that! Your attitude and fighting spirit will have more to do with how long you have than anything the doctors can say. I sense a fighting spirit in your post, and you can make it work for you. I have said it before: "Faith and Fear cannot exist at the same time". Fear will destroy faith if you let it, just as faith can destroy the fear. Fear is actually False Evidence Affecting Reality. And don't let anyone talk about "false hope" or "being in denial". How can Hope ever be "false"? Hope is the opposite of Despair, and they cannot exist at the same time, either. And let's ALL be in denial of those dire predictions! Better to deny them than give them any credence. It's your life and your body and you know better than the doctors do. Keep a picture in your mind at all times of being there when your little ones graduate from school and when they get married. Picture yourself there! Positive mental imaging can work miracles. I am not just making that up: I have a doctorate in psychology and my husband is a licensed psychologist. We have seen first hand over and over the miracles that positive thinking and positive imaging can create. How I wish I could go to Scotland and give you a big hug in person! My maternal ancesters are of the highland McIntosh clan, and I know how strong and stubborn the Scots are. Make it work for you, lassie! Hugs, Tricia

[julierene]

My bone and liver mets completely disappeared IN 3 MONTHS with a weekly infusion of:


Herceptin
Taxol
Carboplatin

I don't know which one made the biggest difference. My hair didn't even fall out! I would find an Onc who will give this wonderful treatment to you. Mayo says that 90%+ are alive in a year with this treatment.

I decided to tell my 5 year old. She cried with me, but I told her I would live as long as possible for her. After she realized it would be a long long time from now, she started to realize that everyone dies. She had some fears at first. It's amazing how much she understands. Sometimes she asks me when will I die, sometimes I try to tell her it will be when she is a very big girl. She likes to try to guess her age, and I keep telling her we don't know. But I promised her I would be sure to tell her when - when the time comes. She is amazing. But she is starting to understand that we need to live every day to the fullest - because we never know when that day will be.

My mother died when I was 16 from breast cancer, she decided not to ever give up - and unfortunately, we never said goodbye because she went into a coma. It has been something that has felt like an open wound ever since.

[Lee]

My hair is totally gone! Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this post by you because it is so full of optimism & excitement.

This week I am starting my last cycle of Taxol/Carbo/Herceptin and, like you, I'm currently NED. I feel *so* optimistic about my life going forward, and I also have resolved to live my life to the absolute fullest I can from here on out.

My 7 year old has really been worried about me, even though I haven't really been sick, so I'm hoping he can relax a little once my weekly treatments are over and my hair grows back.

I think we have every reason to be optimistic about our LONG futures!!

[Carol H]

Dear Julierene, thank you for the info on your treatment - I will keep this for future reference if I need to - I thinks its amazing your cancer in both bones and liver dissappeared - I am just on Herceptin, but carbopatin and Txol may help me in the future and will discuss it with my oncologist when the need arises - the bone spread has been there for over 2 years now and is stablised but wish it would disappear like yours - thaks for listening and so nice to at last hear from other younger women with young children just like myself.

[Carol H]

Dear Tricia, Your words were very inspiring to me - You are a role model to me on how you can fight this disease and not accept that its over - This site has given me so much hope that I can live to the age 40 and hopefully beyond - My daughter was lying in bed with me last night and we were talking about what she would like to do when she grows up and how she would like me to come and live with her in her big house that she dreams of having in her adulthood and for the first time I said yes it would be marvelous instead of trying to avoid talking about things relating to when she is older - I have so much hope now and thank you so much.