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Old 06-12-2013, 04:11 PM   #1
Redwolf8812
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So Sick of Anxiety

So I've made a decision to stop feeling anxious and put it in God's Hands.

My recent bloodwork shows liver still functioning as it should. Thank You, Lord! I've made a decision that I can only have positive attitudes. Fear is of the devil. So, as far as the scan I have coming up on the 25th, I am looking forward to hearing great news on the results! Praise God!

As my friend said, I've got the "little liver that could". LOL.

- Penny
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...but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Penny

July 2010 IDC grade 3 stage 3 er-/pr-/her2+++, BRCA2
Skin mets 11/10
1/12/11 Surgery path - complete response
Rads 2/11-4/11
Liver mets 11/11 now stage IV
Xeloda & Tykerb 12/11
Allergic reaction to Tykerb 12/11
Xeloda only 12/11
Added herceptin January 2012
Progression February 2012.
Started Veliparib (parp inhibitor) trial 3/5/12.
4/30/12 Liver met shrunk in half! Praise Jesus!
6/18/12 another 25% shrinkage, down to @3x3. Thank you, God!
8/8/12 Brain MRI - clear! Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ!
8/27/12 Thank You, God - another 20% decrease in liver met! Now @ 3.2x1.9.
10/5/12 stable-ish
11/21/12 allergic reaction to carboplatin
12/10/12 stable & progression
12/31/12 liver ablation
2/6/13 ablation successful but new tiny mets in liver. May or not be cancer.
Another ablation scheduled 2/28/13. Cancelled.
2/20/13 started taxotere & herceptin. Pretty toxic. Oncologist says start tdm1 4/3/13. From her lips to God's ears. Praying for no allergic reactions/adverse side effects.
3/28/13 increase in liver mets - number & size
4/3/13 started TDM1
6/25/13 Praise God! Scan shows only one viable lesion and it's smaller.
10/8/13 MRI shows 1 large and two small tumors.
10/11/13 Ablation of tumors. It's in God's Hands.
10/23/13 Jesus and TDM1
12/19/13 Started trial of palbociclib & herceptin after scan showed growth of liver tumor and a questionable spot on rib.
2/6/14 CT scan - previous suspicious spot on rib probably damage from radiation - Praise God! MRI - over 200% growth in cancer in liver.
2/19/14 started Navelbine, Perjeta, & Herceptin combo.
5/2-5/4/14 hospitalized with very high liver function numbers, plus skin and eyes are yellow, plus urine is orange. Feel ok, so doctor not sure if liver failing due to cancer, chemo, or infection. Hospital gets numbers to go down and sends me home. MRI done in hospital reveals cancer shrinking - praise God!
5/6/14 - 5/8/14 hospitalized with no white blood cell count. Released when they go back up, @ 6 days after doctor gave me a neulasta shot.
5/16/14 - informed blood cultures done in hospital are back and that I contracted hepatitis e. Have to take ribavirin (anti-hep med) until liver function numbers are back to "normal" before re-starting chemo. Will probably go on veliparib and temodar this time.
5/26/14 - my birthday - GI doctor informed me that the hepatitis e was completely gone - I didn't even need the anti-viral meds! This is a miracle from God!
5/28/14 - started veliparib and temodar (compassionate use)
8/18/14 MRI shows 90% growth in liver tumors
8/20/14 start Perjeta, Herceptin, & Navelbine. Thanking & giving Glory to God for each moment.
9/22/14 - 9/24/14 Hospitalized with 102.2 fever and neutropenia
11/13/14 ER for high fever and fast heart rate. Got both down with IV antibiotic and fluids. Sent home same night. Thank You, Lord!
12/2/14 MRI shows progression in liver. Grateful to God that I still feel good.
12/11/14 Simulated SIR-spheres. Successful. Real thing (1st lobe) scheduled for the 23rd. Also starting Xeloda on 22nd for 2 weeks because it's synergistic with the spheres.
12/23/14 SIR-spheres in left lobe of liver. On Xeloda 12/22/14 - 1/4/15.
1/7/15 Receiving Perjeta & Herceptin while awaiting next course of action.
2/9/15 SIR-spheres in right lobe of liver. On Xeloda for 2 weeks (started 2/8). Still on Perjeta & Herceptin. Don't know what's next for me. :-)
3/25/15 Final read on MRI report - there are new and multiple lesions in both lobes of liver. Sigh. Praise God I've made it this far!
4/1/15 Started Gemzar & Herceptin. 1st week G&H, 2nd week G only, 3rd week off. Thank You, Lord, for this option.
4/15/15 Labcorp - liver enzymes in 200's. Appointment 4/22 with oncologist to discuss. Also, "radiation recall" in previously treated area? Very itchy. Need to discuss.
4/22/15 Enzymes came down. Received reduced dose of Gemzar only. No herceptin. Will get labs at lapcorp next two weeks since taking break for vacation purposes. Treat radiation area.
5/9/15 ER for severe abdominal pain. Constipation. Sent home with meds and advice to follow up with oncologist regarding jaundice and bilirubin.
5/11/15 Hospitalized for rising bilirubin and jaundice. CT scan reveals larger and more constricting tumors in liver.
5/13/15 Met with my oncologist. Bilirubin came down. If still down by Monday, I'll get chemo. If not, than I guess I'll see you all in Heaven. Praise God. Please pray, pray, pray.
5/18/15 Bilirubin jumped up. Trying lowered dose of Ixempra, with Herceptin. Oncologist is surprised that I'm functioning so well, given the high bilirubin. I have anywhere from 2 weeks - 2 months to live.
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Old 06-12-2013, 05:02 PM   #2
NEDenise
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Amen, Sister!
Only positive energy coming your way!
Denise
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1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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Old 06-12-2013, 05:04 PM   #3
JennyB
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Positive Penny I'm with you x
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Diagnosed Nov '10 IDC whilst pregnant with 2nd child
Her 2 ++ ER/PR + but weak and patchy 50% + 5%
Left mastectomy Dec '10, 6cm tumour 1 of 2 lymph (micro mets)
Clear margins but lymphovasculer invasion
Stage 3a Grade 3
Fec 100 x 3 Jan '11 Taxotere X 3 and Herceptin X 1yr
Staging scans - CT brain & body and bone - May '11 - NED!!
Start Femara - in chemo induced menapause
25 Rads June '11
Dec '11 Menstruation resumed - zoladex inj monthly and Tamoxifen
Feb '12 Back on Femera and Zoladex
March '12 CT brain & body & bone scan all clear
Zometa x2/yearly
April '12 - Oopherectomy

Praying the Herceptin is as good as its hype!!
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Old 06-12-2013, 06:53 PM   #4
Bunty
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

More positive energy to you Penny! As most of us know here, anxiety is one of the worst parts of 'all this', but it is something that we definitely can have some control over! Faith certainly helps us get that control.
Best wishes, Marie
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dx Dec 2000 dcis 2.5cm clear sentinel node, ER/PR- Her-2+
lumpectomy, 6 cycles AC, 6 weeks rads
October 2007 three x 2.5cm lung mets. 8 months Taxol, started Herceptin and continue. Significant reduction in lung mets.
June 2011 3cm x 4cm liver tumour. Started Abraxane and continue with Herceptin.
November 2011. Finished with Abraxane, continue with just Herceptin. Liver tumour now reduced to 15mm x 12mm. Lung tumour now 10mm x 0.5mm
February 2012. Scans show everything stable, and brain scan clear.
July 2012. PET/CT scans show I'm in remission - no active cancer!
]Dec CT brain cllear, lungs stable, liver tumour has increased to 20mm. PET scans showed active liver met and active lung thinglet, and possible bone met.
Jan 2013 recommence Abraxane, continue with Herceptin.
June 2013 finish Cycle 6 Abraxane, continue with Herceptin. 30% reduction in liver tumour, everything stable.
December 2013. CA15-3 on rise.
February 2014. PET and CT scans show single liver tumour has increased to 35mm. No other activity.
March 2014. Planned for SBRT for liver met, but couldn't have treatment as tumour too close to bowel. Continue Herceptin.
April 2014. Surgeon advises that I am a good candidate for liver resection, so will have operation early May (after camping holiday). Tumour now 44mm x 29mm.
May 7, 2014. Two liver tumours surgically removed. Third of liver removed, and gall bladder. Am I NED?May 2014. Pathology of tumour shows it's now ER+ (95% staining).
June 2014. CA15-3 has decreased to 18 from a pre-surgery reading of 59!
June 2014. Started Femara, continue with Herceptin.
July 2014. Stop Femara due to severe Osteoporosis. Commence Tamoxifen, continue Herceptin. Waiting to hear if I can have Aclasta infusion.
August 2014. CA15-3 has decreased further to 12 - YAY!
October 2014. Aclasta infusion for Osteoporosis. November 2014, CA15-3 decreased to 11. Scans of liver all clear, something new showing up on lung, but just watching at the moment.
November 2015. Started SBRT on solitary lung met.
November 2015. Bone density scan showed very good improvement so back on Femara - yay!
December 2016. 6 treatments of SBRT radiation on lung. Seems to have had some effect.
June 2016. CA15-3 still stable and low at 9.
June 2016. Started subcutaneous Herceptin replacing infusion.
Jan 2017. LVEF dropped to 46%. Stopped Herceptin.
Feb 2017. Started ACE Inhibitor and BETA Blocker. Still off Herceptin.
Aug 2017. Two new mets - Portacaval lymph node and mediastinal lymph node.
Aug 2017. Blood tests show extremely elevated liver enzyme levels. Many tests to investigate.
Sept 2017. Portacaval lymph node blocking liver bile duct causing liver enzyme and Bilirubin problems.
Oct 2017. 8cm stent inserted into liver bile duct. Procedure caused pancreatitis, and hospitalised for 3 days. Liver enzymes improving rapidly.
Nov 2017. Commenced 4 weeks of radiation on Portacaval lymph node. 5 week break before chemo.
Jan 2018. CT scan. 11 new small liver mets, and new superclavical lymph node med.
Jan 2018. Start Kadcyla. CA15-3 426.
Apr 2018. First scans since starting Kadcyla. All tumours reducing. CA15-3 dropped to 30 from 426.
Dec 2019. Still on Kadcyla, but two small brain mets have been treated in the past month with SRS. CA15-3 stable for 12 months at 11.
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Old 06-12-2013, 07:27 PM   #5
StephN
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Hi Penny -
Very glad you have screwed up your courage on this and are making that attitude adjustment.

As our recently departed dear TriciaK used to say, " hope and fear cannot exist in the same space." So if you are filled with HOPE, that is what you are.

All the best on that scan. Just keep breathing - slowly and deliberately.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.

MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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Old 06-12-2013, 11:42 PM   #6
KsGal
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

I like that...the little liver that could. lol. Anxiety sure does not help us any, and it sure is hard to live in the moment sometimes and not worry about the future. Im glad that you are giving up those worried to God, and keeping the faith. Just keep on keeping on, one baby step at a time. Big hugs to you...and lots of prayers and positive energy headed your way.
__________________
Diagnosed in October 2011 Stage IV with metastasis to liver.
January 2012 after double mastectomy, started taxotere, carboplatin and herceptin.
Clear.
December 2012 was diagnosed with five brain mets, and had whole brain radiation.
Around July 2014 two mets in brain, one a residual spot and one new one growing in size. Received Cyberknife on both areas
Clear/NED
April 2015 remain NED
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Old 06-13-2013, 05:42 AM   #7
NEDenise
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Hi all!
Andi BB just started this thread all about the power of positive energy!

http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58328

You ladies may want to add your voices to the positive energy chorus!!

Denise
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Old 06-13-2013, 06:08 PM   #8
Jackie07
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Penny,

I'll be praying for your getting a good scan result on the 25th.
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Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement (600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
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Old 06-13-2013, 09:04 PM   #9
BonnieR
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

And you know what? A little anti-anxiety med wouldn't hurt either! Ativan was my friend during times of stress. I only wish I had started it sooner
Keep the faith
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Bonnie

Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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Old 07-04-2013, 02:45 PM   #10
MJo
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

I agree with Bonnie.
Please don't automatically reject medication
Overcoming anxiety shouldn't be a challenge.
I have Xanax. I don't use it often.
But there are times that anxiety is strong.
I refuse to suffer. I wipe out that anxiety sucker immediately with a dose of meds.
__________________
MJO

IDC, Stage I, Grade 2
Oncotype DX Score 32
Her2++ E+P+, Node Neg.
Lumpectomy 11/04/05 Clear Margins
3 Dose dense AC (Couldn't tolerate 4)
4 Dose dense Taxol & Herc. (Tolerated well)
36 weeks Herceptin (Could not complete one year due to decrease in MUGA score)
2 years of Arimidex, then three years of Femara
Finished Femara May 2011
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Old 07-04-2013, 06:29 PM   #11
karen z
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

I also feel that an anti-anxiety med, when needed, can do wonders. If you mostly used when you just might not be able to shake it.............there will not be any harm and you will feel much better.
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Old 07-04-2013, 08:21 PM   #12
Kkmom
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Penny,
I will be praying for you and positive results on the 25th. Give it to God - he will lead you - all you have to do is follow. Give the worrying up - and replace it with hope.
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Old 07-04-2013, 10:51 PM   #13
Pamelamary
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Penny, that your liver is functioning well should help boost the positive vibes.
Sending more from Oz..... Pam
__________________
Diagnosed 2004: Lumpectomy - 2 tumours, both grade 1 infiltrating duct carcinoma, about 12mm. ER+,
C-erbB-2 status 3+.
Clear margins, no nodal involvement.
Radiotherapy, i year Tamoxifen, 4 years Arimidex.
Rediagnosed 2012: Multiple bone metastases.
3/12: began on Marianne trial - T-DM1 + Pertuzamab/Placebo.
5/12:Unexpected development of numerous bilateral liver mets. Came off trial.
Started Docetaxol/ Herceptin + Zometa.
8/12:Bones stable +major regression in liver (!)
9/12:Can't take any more Docetaxol! Start on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. Cross fingers!
Changed to Denosumab.
11/12: Scan shows stable - yay!
11/13: Still stable :-) !!!
1/16: All stable, but lowered calcium, so switched to Zometa 3 monthly.
2/19: Happily still stable on Herceptin, Letrozole and 3 monthly Zometa.
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Old 07-05-2013, 08:25 AM   #14
NEDenise
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Talking Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Pam,
You've been holding out on us!
You are brilliant!

I always wondered which part of our bodies captured and filtered positive vibes!
Now I know... the liver!!!


Now, just for clarity...
are the vibes drawn to where they're needed...
or do all vibes enter through the liver and are then sent around the body as needed.
This could have important treatment benefits!


I'm thinking...
I'd be willing to fashion a collender helmet, like Rick Moranis wore in Ghostbusters... (see photo)
and wear it 24/7 if it would focus the good vibes to my brain...
where I need them!
Hell... I'm going to get going on the helmet just in case...
what could it hurt?!
Besides curing my brain goo...
I bet people would let me go ahead of them at checkouts when I wear my cool helmet!


I think you liver met-sters should look into something the size and dimensions of a WWE wrestling championship belt.
Those babies are HUGE so they'd definitely capture and focus those vibes right where you want them! (see photo)
I bet there are lots of those belts available on eBay!
Plus... they can do double duty as Spanx girdles!


Hmmm...
lung met-sters...
we didn't forget about you!
A chain mail shirt would work, but they're so heavy and lumpy under clothing (listen to me! Like I've actually ever worn chain mail!)
Something a little less noticeable - like the WWE belt and my cool helmet - hmmm
Okay, screw un-noticeable!
Bald wasn't un-noticeable either!
Okay...so chain mail might be hard to come by...
but aluminum foil is cheap, recyclable, and readily available.
And as someone who got a hair-raising shock while doing a 4th grade science demonstration...
I can assure you that aluminum conducts electricity quite nicely...
why not positive vibes!?
!


Not to neglect our bone-metsters or our friends afflicted with lymph node, chest wall, and spinal mets...
depending on where the vibes need to be focused...
I think an old-fashioned poultice, made of aluminum foil...
and applied to the area might be just the thing we're looking for.


Pam! Again, thanks for bringing up the need to focus the vibes. I'll let you know how the helmet works after my next scan.

If anyone tries one of the "focus techniques", let us know how it goes!
Never let it be said that the HER2 support board isn't open to advances in science!!
or humor!!


Love you guys!
Denise
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__________________
1/11-needle biopsy
2/11-Lumpectomy/axillary node dissection - Stage 3c, ER/PR-14/17 nodes
3/11 - Post-op staph infection,cellulitis, lymphedema,seroma,ARRRGH!
4/12/11-A/C x 4, then T/H x 4, H only,Q3 weeks
8/26/11 finished Taxol!!!
10/7/11 mastectomy/DIEP recon
11/11 radiation x28
1/12/12 1st CANCER-VERSARY!
1/12 Low EF/Herceptin "Holiday" :(
2/12 EF up - Back on Herceptin, heart meds
4/2/1212 surgery to repair separated incision from DIEP recon
6/8/12 Return to work :)
6/17/12 Fall, shatter wrist,surgery to repair/insert plate :(
7/10/12 last Herceptin
7/23/12 Brain Mets %$&#! 3cm and 1cm
8/10/12 Gamma knife surgery, LOTS of steroids;start H/Tykerb
8/23/12 Back to work
12/20/12 Injure back-3 weeks in wheel chair
1/12/13 2nd CANCER-VERSARY!
1/14/13 herniate disk in back - surgery to repair
1/27/13 Radiation necrosis - edema in brain - back on steroids - but not back to work - off balance, poor cordination in right arm
5/3/13 Start Avastin to shrink necrosis
5/10/13 begin weaning steroids
6/18/13 Brain MRI - Avastin seems to be working!
6/20/13 quarterly CT - chest, abdomen, pelvis - All Clear!
7/5/13 finally off steroids!!
7/7/13 joined the ranks of the CHEMO NINJAS I am now Tekuto Ki Ariku cancer assassin!
7/13/13 Symptoms return - back on steroids
7/26/13 Back on Avastin - try again!
8/26/13 Not ready to return to classroom yet :( But I CAN walk without holding onto things! :)
9/9/13 Brain MRI - fingers crossed
“ Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you, and you alone, to decide. ” – Cavett Robert
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Old 07-05-2013, 08:35 AM   #15
Cat
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Denise,
I am enjoying a great laugh for the morning! You have set up a visual of all these women around the country suddenly donned in metal, aluminum foil helmuts etc. etc. and I'm getting a great chuckle.
You really need to write a book or movie!!!!
Thanks for the giggle,
Cathy
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3/06 DX stage III er-pr-her2+++ breast, 1+node
age 49 and 364 days
3XAC 4X taxol and herceptin continue herceptin one year
bilat mastectomy w/TRAM
32 rads
9/08 recurrance 4 sternal nodes
mediastinoscopy, able to remove 3
taxotere, carboplatin, herceptin, x6
continue herceptin indefinately
5/10 recurrance in same node/area
mediastinoscopy, removed nodes
added tykerb
27 rads
10/18/10 PET shows inflammation no active disease
8/2011 recurrence one right mediastinal node, xeloda and proton radiation to node.
D/C xeloda due to toxicity
12/5 PET scan clear
2/2012 colon blockage, breast cancer
(never thought it could go there! thought I was constipated)
start abraxane, herceptin, continue tykerb
10/2012 Kidney ablation (renal CA!)
3/2013 CT and biopsy R kidney (BC met to R kidney)
4/4/2013 Begin Kadcyla
7/30/13 Craniotomy cerebellar mets, 1.7cm 3cm
Sept 4-6 post op cyberknife
Sept 23 ablation right kidney (blow up pesky breast ca met)
Oct headaches MRI Oct 10 (only surgical changes ! Yay!)
Short of breath. CT, pulmonary function, echo
New crap in right lung heart good. Pooh!
12/13 DC kadcyla. Begin halaven
2/14 MRI brain NED Yay!
4/3/14 CT mostly stable but breast mets r kidney growing
4/16/14 ablation right kidney again
Continue halaven, tykerb
dc halaven gemzar?
2nd opinion May 14
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Old 07-06-2013, 09:55 AM   #16
Redwolf8812
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Denise, you make me laugh. Thank God for you. LOL.

- Penny
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...but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Penny

July 2010 IDC grade 3 stage 3 er-/pr-/her2+++, BRCA2
Skin mets 11/10
1/12/11 Surgery path - complete response
Rads 2/11-4/11
Liver mets 11/11 now stage IV
Xeloda & Tykerb 12/11
Allergic reaction to Tykerb 12/11
Xeloda only 12/11
Added herceptin January 2012
Progression February 2012.
Started Veliparib (parp inhibitor) trial 3/5/12.
4/30/12 Liver met shrunk in half! Praise Jesus!
6/18/12 another 25% shrinkage, down to @3x3. Thank you, God!
8/8/12 Brain MRI - clear! Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ!
8/27/12 Thank You, God - another 20% decrease in liver met! Now @ 3.2x1.9.
10/5/12 stable-ish
11/21/12 allergic reaction to carboplatin
12/10/12 stable & progression
12/31/12 liver ablation
2/6/13 ablation successful but new tiny mets in liver. May or not be cancer.
Another ablation scheduled 2/28/13. Cancelled.
2/20/13 started taxotere & herceptin. Pretty toxic. Oncologist says start tdm1 4/3/13. From her lips to God's ears. Praying for no allergic reactions/adverse side effects.
3/28/13 increase in liver mets - number & size
4/3/13 started TDM1
6/25/13 Praise God! Scan shows only one viable lesion and it's smaller.
10/8/13 MRI shows 1 large and two small tumors.
10/11/13 Ablation of tumors. It's in God's Hands.
10/23/13 Jesus and TDM1
12/19/13 Started trial of palbociclib & herceptin after scan showed growth of liver tumor and a questionable spot on rib.
2/6/14 CT scan - previous suspicious spot on rib probably damage from radiation - Praise God! MRI - over 200% growth in cancer in liver.
2/19/14 started Navelbine, Perjeta, & Herceptin combo.
5/2-5/4/14 hospitalized with very high liver function numbers, plus skin and eyes are yellow, plus urine is orange. Feel ok, so doctor not sure if liver failing due to cancer, chemo, or infection. Hospital gets numbers to go down and sends me home. MRI done in hospital reveals cancer shrinking - praise God!
5/6/14 - 5/8/14 hospitalized with no white blood cell count. Released when they go back up, @ 6 days after doctor gave me a neulasta shot.
5/16/14 - informed blood cultures done in hospital are back and that I contracted hepatitis e. Have to take ribavirin (anti-hep med) until liver function numbers are back to "normal" before re-starting chemo. Will probably go on veliparib and temodar this time.
5/26/14 - my birthday - GI doctor informed me that the hepatitis e was completely gone - I didn't even need the anti-viral meds! This is a miracle from God!
5/28/14 - started veliparib and temodar (compassionate use)
8/18/14 MRI shows 90% growth in liver tumors
8/20/14 start Perjeta, Herceptin, & Navelbine. Thanking & giving Glory to God for each moment.
9/22/14 - 9/24/14 Hospitalized with 102.2 fever and neutropenia
11/13/14 ER for high fever and fast heart rate. Got both down with IV antibiotic and fluids. Sent home same night. Thank You, Lord!
12/2/14 MRI shows progression in liver. Grateful to God that I still feel good.
12/11/14 Simulated SIR-spheres. Successful. Real thing (1st lobe) scheduled for the 23rd. Also starting Xeloda on 22nd for 2 weeks because it's synergistic with the spheres.
12/23/14 SIR-spheres in left lobe of liver. On Xeloda 12/22/14 - 1/4/15.
1/7/15 Receiving Perjeta & Herceptin while awaiting next course of action.
2/9/15 SIR-spheres in right lobe of liver. On Xeloda for 2 weeks (started 2/8). Still on Perjeta & Herceptin. Don't know what's next for me. :-)
3/25/15 Final read on MRI report - there are new and multiple lesions in both lobes of liver. Sigh. Praise God I've made it this far!
4/1/15 Started Gemzar & Herceptin. 1st week G&H, 2nd week G only, 3rd week off. Thank You, Lord, for this option.
4/15/15 Labcorp - liver enzymes in 200's. Appointment 4/22 with oncologist to discuss. Also, "radiation recall" in previously treated area? Very itchy. Need to discuss.
4/22/15 Enzymes came down. Received reduced dose of Gemzar only. No herceptin. Will get labs at lapcorp next two weeks since taking break for vacation purposes. Treat radiation area.
5/9/15 ER for severe abdominal pain. Constipation. Sent home with meds and advice to follow up with oncologist regarding jaundice and bilirubin.
5/11/15 Hospitalized for rising bilirubin and jaundice. CT scan reveals larger and more constricting tumors in liver.
5/13/15 Met with my oncologist. Bilirubin came down. If still down by Monday, I'll get chemo. If not, than I guess I'll see you all in Heaven. Praise God. Please pray, pray, pray.
5/18/15 Bilirubin jumped up. Trying lowered dose of Ixempra, with Herceptin. Oncologist is surprised that I'm functioning so well, given the high bilirubin. I have anywhere from 2 weeks - 2 months to live.
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Old 07-06-2013, 10:06 AM   #17
ammebarb
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Posts: 508
Re: So Sick of Anxiety

I'm picturing Dr. Sato, as he tries to palpate my liver through that WWE belt! It's my laugh for the day, and will probably enter my mind each time a doc palpates my liver! It will make them wonder why I'm giggling as they are pushing on my middle :-)

Denise, you are a special gem for all of us! Thank God for you and your humor.

Hugs,
Barb
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Old 07-06-2013, 03:28 PM   #18
conomyself
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Posts: 111
Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Penny, congratulations on your good blood work. I'm really glad you are able to do this.

I resolved not to get anxious about scans, and I'd say I'm about 90% successful. This last time my blood pressure wasn't up at all when I saw the onc for my scan results.

It will be what it will be, and why borrow trouble? I find it's best to focus on what I want to do, in all areas of life. And I'm sure the physiological effects of anxiety can't be good.

And I'm sure your results will be excellent!!
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7/30/2012 Diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer
8/3/2012 CT scan mets to liver (major!!), lungs, spine, and skin
8/8/2012 Biopsy results: invasive ductal carcinoma
ER+/PR+/HER2+ amplification 4.8 (whatever that means)
8/13/2012 Brain MRI (clear); bone scan verified CT scan
8/14/12 started Taxotere/Carboplatin/Herceptin, 2 rounds (added Neulasta after 9/4 treatment)
9/4/12 CA 15-3: >3000
9/15/12 CA 15-3: 840
9/15/12 started Taxotere/Perjeta/Herceptin, 4 rounds (no Neulasta)
10/29/12 CT scan showed dramatic improvement in all areas - largest liver met 2.5 cm, largest lung met 10 cm
12/17/12 Started Perjeta/Herceptin, 2 rounds
12/17/12 CA 15-3: 17 Yay!!!
1/21/13 CT scan showed improvement - largest liver met 1.9 cm, largest lung met 2 mm
1/29/13 CA 15-3: 12 Started Herceptin only
3/12/13 CA 15-3: still 12 yay!! Back to Perjeta/Herceptin
3/29/13 CT scan more improvement - largest liver met 1.2 cm, some lung mets disappeared!
3/7/14 started Tamoxifen
6/27/13 - 1/2015 CT scan stable
Began a diet of only single ingredient foods and went nearly NED excepts for some tiny lung spots - ask me if you want to know more...
1/2015 - 1/2017 CT scan stable
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Old 07-06-2013, 04:08 PM   #19
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Penny, I love your self talk. You know that's like having a conversation with the Universe. I read that somewhere and I believe it! Your SELF is a Spirit and that is a holy spark of Our Source...

Denise, Thanks for the plug for THE POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS thread. I would welcome some input over there!

As for your humor -- there is no stopping you! You get a grip and you keep it coming! LOVE your words and the help of pix besides to fully grasp the concept of capturing positive vibes.

Silly me, I just put my hand over my breast, my liver, my head -- whatever needs some help, and think of a radiant white Light beaming down. Of course I get into a full meditative state before doing this -- filling myself to overflowing with Love and Serenity and positive energy. Oh, and I think -- using THE POWER OF MY THOUGHTS -- HEALTHY AND WELL. NO MORE CANCER. I can feel my cheekbones rounding out as I KNOW I am smiling.

You KNOW when you KNOW a thing -- in accordance with the Laws of SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY -- it truly does come into being, manifesting as you envision (with guided imagery of course).

I must add, as some have already mentioned -- I could not be ME if not for some Ativan or Xanax. L-Theanine is a natural supplement that helps if you don't want to go to prescription meds. But -- you should never, ever, unnecessarily suffer!!!!!!!!! Bonnie said it. I am saying it. My favorite oncologist, who isn't a pusher, told me that over a decade ago. YOU KNOW THEY DON'T GIVE OUT AWARDS TO THE ONE WHO SUFFERS THE MOST. That's why we have these medications. At the first sign of pain, or anxiety -- go for it. Don't wait!!! He was very emphatic. And he aside from being brilliant, is a healer, a soother, and a rather gentle Soul!

Penny, please listen up. Re-read that paragraph again, please.

Sending positive vibes to you, Penny.

If you wrap your entire body in tin foil, you'll sweat a lot, and then maybe lose some weight, not that I have any idea what size you are... But weight is always on my mind. Back in the day they had those sweat boxes, where just your head stuck out, and you would sweat off the pounds. I've seen this on television, though never actually encountered such a God awful machine. 27 years of hot flashes is enough.

I did go to a holistic lady about a yr ago -- who cured me of my flashing whereas no other doc over those decades could!

Love and -- LAUGHTER (thanks to our in house comic relief character -- Neddy!!!!),



Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-06-2013, 05:24 PM   #20
KirisMum
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Re: So Sick of Anxiety

Denise, NIH wants you on line 3.....;-)
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