When you lose your hair

Sheryl H · 04-05-2007, 07:59 AM

Had my first chemo, A/C, on March 20th. When I combed my hair April 2nd, quite a bit of loose hair came out in my comb. This is still happening and even when I run my fingers through my hair, it comes out. My question is, does it eventually come out in chunks, or does it just keep coming out little by little until it is so thin, you decide to get rid of all of it? So far, I'm dealing with this pretty well, I think, although both my daughters cried when I told them. Maybe when I actually have to shave my head or whatever you do finally, it will bother me more. By the way, do you end up shaving it? My scalp is tender when I lay my head down on my pillow or when I run my fingers through my hair. Not too bad though. I think since I know my hair will come back in, that makes it easier for me.

Vanessa · 04-05-2007, 08:02 AM

My hair came out mostly in chunks. I would also find extra hair in my hairbrush on the back of the seat of my car, etc. I only lost about 2/3 of my hair, so I had a combover. If I have to have chemo again, I will probably just shave it all off.

KellyA · 04-05-2007, 08:14 AM

Hi there. My scalp got very tender and I found out later from my onc. that this is usually a sign that it coming out is near. At first I just started with general shedding. Then I noticed that larger clumps were coming out, especially if any pressure was applied. I got a few more days out of it by ponytailing my hair and wearing a baseball cap. Eventually, I let my boys give me a mohawk and we made a big party out of it. A little pink dye and a NY Yakees logo carved into the back of my head (my hubbys doing) made it a little humerous. They didn't seem so afraid and seemed to accept things a little better. I don't think that it was so scary for them. I told my hubby to enjoy his Yankee logo while he could, because I didn't ever plan on doing that again!!!!! Anyways, shortly after this (maybe 2 or 3 days), I got in the shower and used shampoo and EVERYTHING came out in one swoop. I was sportin a mohawk one minute, and shiny bald the next.But you know, it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. My last chemo was in Nov. and I've had my hair highlighted twice and I actually have lots of little barretts that I wear now. It will all be a distant memory before you know it.

Love, Kelly

ExpectAMiracle · 04-05-2007, 08:15 AM

Sheryl:

You are a bit of ahead of me with treatment. I'm starting on Monday, 4/9. But I am planning to get my head shaved about 1 week or 10 days after that. I can't stand the thought of it falling out here and there. For me, I need the control of knowing when it will happen. I have already gotten a cute wig and so will put it on right after the "buzz". I know some women prefer to let it happen naturally. I think its just whatever seems best for you.

Best of luck with your treatment and your decision.

{{Hugs}}

Andi · 04-05-2007, 08:18 AM

Mine came out in chunks. I had talked to several ladies that had already been down that road and they advised to have it shaved off before it got really weird looking, so that is what I did. I already had my wig so I was ready to go when I got to this point. The first time out with the wig was kind of strange, I was wondering what kind of comments I would get, my wig looked an awful lot like my natural hair and hair style, so some people didn't even realize I was wearing one, that helped an awful lot. You have the right attitude, it will grow back, good luck to you.

Melinda · 04-05-2007, 08:34 AM

I had short hair before chemo (TCH). Not knowing what to expect, I had my stylist give me a REALLY short hair cut 3 days before, I mean short but funky cute. Anyway, my first chemo was 3/2 and today I am having the buzz. Looking in the mirror as I speak it is very thin and one can see some scalp but my hair is light in color (from a bottle) and it is not noticeable or makes me feel uncomforable. Tonight is the night however and I made it thru over a month with hair. I attribute this to getting it really short before chemo. Each day I used to gently wash my hair and last week I noticed the shower drain was the "tell tale sign". I thought for sure it would just fall out in clumps but instaed it was the shedding process.
I have decided to embrace the no hair option and bought a beaded head piece, some scarves, a base ball hat and a wig. I have even thought of henna design, if the price is right and it can sustain water from showers for any length of time. Here is to what ever color and texture I will have in the not so distant future. Maybe I could come back as a natural blonde

Melinda

LAURIE · 04-05-2007, 08:49 AM

I have posted this before, but I think it deserves a rewrite because this got me through some days when I felt so ugly with out hair. I saved some of my hair when it fell out and made my own bangs. I put my hair in about eight little ponytails and cut them off when I started to get bald spots. I then took one of those pony tails and carefully layed it down over a piece of duck tape. It is best to make it pretty thick in the beginning because you will lose some of it with wearing (just like normal). I then put another piece of tape over the hair and then took it to my sewing machine. I sewed a few lines (very little stitches ) I attach it with either velcro to a hat or I wore a ear band or headband and placed it underneath and then put my hat on. Everyone would always say, your bangs look so natural and I would say of course they do "they are my own". You can buy bangs (synthetic) but I preferred my own. I just washed my again the other day and let them air dry and I saw that my natural wave was still there and had to get out my flat iron. When I wore my bamgs to "Look good feel better" class, everyone was amazed at how natural they looked. The director said she was going to share my new technique into her program.

As far as henna, you can do it youself at home. I got a kit online somewhere. It was fun, but did not last that long.

Georgie · 04-05-2007, 08:50 AM

Hi,

mine came out about the between the 2nd and 3rd chemo. Firstly it was just strands here or there but a couple of weeks later literally chunks. I shaved the rest off in the end because i only had a fine covering less than 5%. I felt much better. It was quite refreshing, I decided not to wear a wig as I'm 35 and was told I had a good head shape. But I did make some funky bandanas. It depends on what would make you feel comfortable and everyone is different.

good luck with your treatment and keep positive

kate x

doh2pa · 04-05-2007, 11:44 AM

Hi Sheryl,

I agree with Susan. I felt that this disease had taken so much control from me so shaving my hair when I was ready made me feel in control. It also got rid of the need to mop out the shower everytime I used it! It started slowly on day 14 but within 3 days was coming out in clumps (waking up to a pillow covered with hair was the worst). So on day 17 my husband and I opened a nice bottle of wine, put on some music and he shaved and we drank and tried not to take it all so hard. The anticipation of the loss is much worse than the actual thing.

It was a bit of shock for my boys though (ages 13 and 14 at the time) but after a while they were rubbing my head and joking about it like they always do. You will get through this!

Take care,
Donna

cafe1084 · 04-05-2007, 04:52 PM

I only lost about 1/3 of my hair...all at the temple and the front section of my scalp and just thinned a little in the back

It came out in chunks about day 24, so I shaved it. I thought that was the only way I could deal with it, to take what little control I had been left with. It immediately started to grow back in on the top and back. I razor shaved it several times because my hair physically hurt my scalp when i slept on it or washed it.

I have to say, being bald, although it took me a bit to get to the point, was liberating. I don't feel ashamed about my baldness as I once felt and I don't
focus on my "hair deficit" now, which allows me to steer my focus away from the diagnosis and more toward the positive things in my life. I got
wigs, hats, bandannas and such, but rarely wear them unless it is cold outside or there is a special occasion. I wear nothing on my head at work....wigs are not user-friendly with these incessant hot flashes. Basically, hair loss, like everything related to cancer treatment, is totally different for everyone. The only constant is that losing part of your femininity is very frustrating and difficult, so do whatevr it is that makes you feel good about yourself and I send you love and prayers during your fight

Steph C

Malena · 04-06-2007, 10:21 AM

When I started seeing my hair on the floor I decided immediatly to take the blade and to shave them all. But I'm lucky because I have a small and round head. My boyfriend called me "la mia testolina" (=my little head). I wear the peruke (is it right???) for some time, but after I decided to wear only the babuska.

Becky · 04-06-2007, 10:41 AM

I just wanted to say that Laurie's "bangs" project was ingenius. What a GREAT idea!!!!!!!! I hope I never need to use it but its fabulous. We should capture ideas like this somewhere so the newly diagnosed can gleen this information and go with it prior to throwing away all that lovely hair that can be used in this way.

Mary Jo · 04-06-2007, 05:47 PM

Dear Laurie, I just wanted to say I absolutely loved what you did with your hair as you were losing it. What a great idea. I loved reading it so much I even called my husband over to the computer to read it. He also thought it was a great idea. Like Becky, I pray I never need to lose my hair AGAIN but man what a good idea if I ever do.

Thanks for sharing and you are beautiful.

Mary Jo

Liz J. · 04-06-2007, 06:22 PM

I started to lose my hair about 2 1/2 weeks after my first round of chemo. It was exactly on the time schedule that my onc. nurse said it would happen. I had it cut very short about a week before that. My husband handed me an electric razor and said "you may need this one of these days". I had it charging and ready to go. We took my mother-in-law out to dinner that night. (I recall it was a Saturday night) and I knew what I was going to do when I got home. So I had a few glasses of wine. It was a warm summer night and on the trip home (she lives in New Jersey) I opened the car window and was just touching my head and watching my hair fly out the window. I am surprised we didn't get a ticket for littering (lol). When we got home, my husband went to change his clothes and I took the razor, put my head over the kitchen trash can and shaved it all off. I can't describe the sense of relief. Before my husband walked into the kitchen, I said "don't get scared". He knew what I had done and told me how beautiful I looked. I saw the pain in some friend's faces when they first saw me, but it was so much better than watching the hair falling all over the place and when they saw me again without a hat or wig they also got used to it.

All the best.

Liz J.

juanita · 04-08-2007, 05:26 AM

I started losing my ahir 2 weeks after my first tac. And it came out in chunks. My son used to come home from high school and tell me he knew where I'd been sitting that day. I lost just about all of it except for a few little wispies I could not bear to cut off. Those were my lifeline in a very bad period of my life.

rinaina · 04-08-2007, 11:17 AM

I started to lose my hair 11 days after first treatment and had it shaved 13 days after treatment. If I had it to do over again, and I pray I never do, I would shave it immediately, because, watching it fall out in my hands, was about the most traumatic part of dealing with this entire breast cancer ordeal. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was such an assault on your body and it depressed me terribly. I now have a full head of hair, about 2 1/2 inches long, 7 months out from chemo. It is curly, thicker then it use to be, very grey and darker then it use to be. I have had it cut 2x and colored 2x and it is still not picking up the color we set out for but the highlights have helped. My scalp is sensitive like it was when you start to lose your hair. Anyone else have a very sensitive scalp after hair grew back?

Erin · 04-08-2007, 12:52 PM

As you can see from my picture I chose to go ahead and shave my head as most others do. My neighbor (in the pic) is a hair dresser and did it for me in her garage. We are a very close group of families who live on a cul-de-sac so all the ladies got together at my house for lemon drop martinis, and, properly fortified, we trooped over to her house for the big event. We invited all the husbands and kids as well and made quite a party of it :-)

I am just past my third TCH and there is still some sparse hair that has not fallen out (mostly the grey - dang it!), and what is there is actually growing - go figure! It is soft and not at all uncomfortable now, though it was very tender during the falling-out process.

Having not lost all the hair I thought I would, I was just questioning myself the other day about why I went ahead and shaved it. It certainly would be easier to "pass" right now if I had let it thin out and kept a little at the ears, neck and bangs to make the scarves and hats look more natural. But, I remember hating that I was shedding everywhere....really gross. I was actually uncomfortable preparing even my own food....and my natural hair was short to begin with. Also, I wanted to be in control of the outcome. I hated the idea that I would wake up one day missing clumps (which is what would have happened), and then trying to make myself presentable for work at 8am without being emotionally prepared for it.

I shaved my hair on a Saturday, after I had bought a wig, some hats and scarves. That gave me a day at home to play with them and prepare for my first day "out" without hair.

This is so very personal a decision...best of luck to you :-)

Merridith · 04-08-2007, 01:03 PM

It comes out pretty quick after your second treatment. Tender hair follicules in the scalp means that the end is imminent.

I found that shaving solved the tendernous issue.

I had very long hair down my back. I braided it, then cut off the braid as close to the scalp as possible. Now I have this braid for postarity........

My mother did that when she was young, and I always liked looking at the braid to see how different the color & texture was from when she was an old woman. It was a great keep sake.

Since you know you are going to lose it anyways, why not do something with it that will make you feel better?

Regards,
Merridith

hutchibk · 04-08-2007, 01:41 PM

Mine was also tender... and I got weird hives/allergic bumps all over my head for about a month after each time it has fallen out.

It seemed to be shedding slowly until one day when I just grabbed a small section and pulled to see what would happen. It all just came out in a handful and I didn't feel a thing. I shaved it down to about an inch at that point and just rubbed it all out in the shower over the subsequent weeks, until it was all gone....

janet11 · 04-09-2007, 06:36 AM

Erin, I was also on TCH, and when my hair started thinning so much that I was finding hair in my dinner plate, sneezing on what was on my pillow, etc, I had my hair 'buzzed' to about 1cm long all over.

After a couple weeks, i didn't notice the difference... and then I was embarrassed.... had I cut it and then it stopped falling out? Did I do this without needing to?

I finally took a picture and compared it to the picture after the hair cut. WOW. As my husband confirmed, the cut was the right thing to do. I just don't see myself in a mirror. I tend to see what I want to see. But I sure spent some bad moments thinking that I had done more damage to my self image than the cancer did.

Am attaching a photo of me for halloween 2006 -- when I spiked my remaining hair yellow. This was three weeks after the buzz cut. I lost a bit more... but mainly, things looked like a lot of shiny scalp with soft hairs here and there.

My last chemo was Dec 27 and now I look like I have a 2 day beard.... and it's NOT coming in gray! Yippee. (No, I wasn't gray before -- just a little sprinkled here and there, and one streak. But you never know).

Janet