My latest feelings

[dawn]

I woke up this morning with a pounding chest and finding it hard to breathe, then My 8 year old son came in a put the blankets over me and my daughter(5) who was asleep next to me. He said, MomI'll cover you up so you can sleep in a little and snuggle into Emily. I get lots of snuggles with you. Keeping in mind my son is boarder line Autistic "Aspergers Syndrome" so everything is very logical with him . I lay there for a few minutes hugging my little girl and watching her, then I thought, what wonderful children I have. I can hear my husband getting up with Kyle and them in the kitchen talking like buddies trying to let the girls have their sleep. I thank God for the lovely beautiful family he has given me and his beautiful way in telling me "To get Up, Take Advantage of what you have, Enjoy them and they will help you heal" My anxious feeling started to fade,. So I got up and we finished our decorating and cleaning for xmas. My son also had practise at he church for the christmas story tomorrow that he is taking part in. So it was daddy and emily time this afternoon and mommy and kyle time. Kyle is doing the ending to the story. And once again made me fill up with pride. But it also gave me the resolve to take whatever life throws at me, it may not be nice at times but I will make sure that I am her for these beautiful children, no matter what it takes, for when I need something, it seems they sense it and knows exactly when to hug, or kiss or just make mommy laugh. Our day today has been wonderful. We're setting up the christmas train, making gingerbread cookies and house, then we are wrapping the gifts for our family members that mean so mcuh to us. It is snowing here beautifully (Newfoundland, Canada) and we're hoping to get out tonight sledding in our garden with the outside fire going. I may have cancer, I may have to deal with it, but it won't rob me of our wonderful family times and memories that we have always had. I may be getting a little sentimental but Im feeling so calm and healing now I thought I'd share it with your girls also. Hey I may be on the way to accepting this and not letting it defeat me.
Thanks girls for showing me the way.
Dawn