Most Embarrassing Moments

[chrisy]

Well Believe, I think you may have taken the heat off! Thanks!

You really didn't have to go throwing yourself under the bus for me like you did, because after reading Bill's guess and realizing that people might think I did something MORE embarrassing than drinking tequila shots with Gordon Lightfoot and his band in their hotel room, I decided to stop that madness once and for all!

My only concern is, I don't want y'all to go thinking you have to one up me on this because I think one such story is probably enough. But I'm worried because Gerri's minor garter belt mishap quickly begat a flood of wardrobe malfunction confessions!

My MEM is also from my younger, wilder days. I think I might have more recent embarassing moments, but maybe I just don't care anymore!

My sister and I used to frequent a pub called Durty Nellies West Irish Pub (not the one in San Antonio, the one in Palatine, IL). It was a nice old place with a lively bar in the front, and an even livelier room in back where they had live bands. We never missed a night when our favorite band was playing and naturally closed the place down so we wouldn't miss a moment of fun.

The only bad thing about Nellies was that there were only 2 small bathrooms, one for men and one for women. Ladies, I know you can relate to the waiting in line...but at least you could still enjoy the music while waiting! One night my sister and I had been enjoying our favorite band and a....couple of beers. I might have gotten a little overhydrated.

Last call came and went, the band played their encore and then the lights came on. Well, last call is one thing, but the lights coming on is quite another! Once the lights are on, everybody must leave - regardless of one's position in the bathroom line!

So you guessed it, we had to leave with me in my seriously overhydrated condition. There being no other options at that hour of the morning, I did what any other modest lady in need would do - I discreetly dipped down in front of the car (which was parked head in to a hedge) and dropped my drawers. And my sister did what any late night barfly eager to get home would do...she jumped in the car, started the engine, and flipped on the headlights!

Lucky for me, I think she was the only one who saw the full moon in the parking lot that night, but it is always nice to have a story like that to hang over her head!

See, that wasn't so embarASSing after all!

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

This tale is nebulous. Perhaps more harrowing than embarrassing. Perhaps not. I was midst my first chemo. Bald of course, and dragging my butt. But we'd had a major snowstorm. We lived on a big, steep hill and had a circular driveway plus a regular driveway (on ground level so to speak) that ran all the way back to the garage that was tucked under the master bedroom. It's '95. The plow man didn't show. No surprise. I kept calling. Leaving messages. I did not want Paul (who'd had a heart attack in '85) to come home and shovel! And I knew from living in Dix Hills for 29 yrs that if you didn't get down to the blacktop driveway w/the first snow, managing to get to the mailbox or the spot where the garbage pails had to be left (at the bottom of our HILL AND HALF) was a seriously dangerous mission!

So midst Adriamycin and CMF, I put on a secure scarf hat over my bald head (leaving my wig hanging on a hair spray bottle in the house). I shoveled -- downhill -- making two lines for car tires to travel easily, and for anyone to use to walk up or down. I cleared a path over the two railroad tie steps and the brown brick front porch area, allowing anyone to make it safely from a tire track to the front door. THEN, I got out one of my multiple (collected) snow salt bags and, w/gloves, covered every spot I'd shoveled. Yes, I was panting, but the knowledge that Paul's father had died at the age of 47 from heart disease -- and shoveling snow! -- kept me motivated.

I went in, freshened up, put on my wig, my mandatory earrings of the day and waited by the front door (inside) for Paul to drive up to the top of the hill to pick me up -- so we could go out for dinner. I thought I looked pretty good for a person who'd just been dx w/4th stage bc, had a mastec and was making my way through shock and awe chemo. My silky terrier (Jezebel) waited by my side. Finally, Paul arrived. I threw my coat and glasses on and stepped outside. When I got to the first step I had my first encounter with BLACK ICE! I skidded and slid, both my feet went up into the air as I slipped right off that step. I came crashing down and got a karate chop (just like in the movies!) to the back of my neck by that icy railroad tie. I was literally stunned. Paul rushed to my side, My poor baby! My arms were frozen up above me and I could not speak. I told my arms to move down. They did not stir. Finally, garbled, thick-tongued words, I groaned, NO... I'M NOT... The sound of my voice scared the heck out of me. I was talking like a drunk! Paul helped me up to a sitting position.

Here's the funniest part of this story. I noted that Paul was holding something in his hands, at my eye level, as I was seated, and I was trying to make it all out. I had fallen w/such force, Paul had gallantly retrieved my -- wig, my earrings and my glasses, which had flown off my head with the jolt! All I could think was how lucky I was that I wasn't in a public place for all to see what happened to this poor bald-headed woman. It was like the final insult. But I could have been utterly mortified. From then on I wore a long scarf wrapped around my head and wig, tied under my chin. The vision of a bald woman chasing her windswept wig down the street haunted me for a good year. Each time I'd catch up to the bouncing wig, it'd fly ahead just out of my reach. The image is quite funny. If the woman isn't YOU!

What do you want to do? Should I take you to the hospital? Paul was beside himself. I knew I could have had a concussion. I decided right then and there NO MORE HOSPITALS! I will stubbornly and simply *survive* it all -- the ca, getting knocked unconscious for a few seconds, et al. I just wanted to crawl (safely) into the house and get into bed. Paul followed me, carring the *items* in for me...

That's my harrowing tale, which for some reason I associate w/embarrassing moments. Of course, I have lots more... Who doesn't???
Andi

[Believe51]

My son Jason and I took a trip to the Poconos to see the place we would be living. Of course we explored the area and the various stores in the quaint towns. Jason was 2 years old and the cutest dark haired, brown-eyed boy I ever laid eyes on. A friend of mine had to watch him just for a moment while I went into the other part of the store to shop....for candles of course. Jason proceded his business in the old fashioned candy store that had barrels of candies bought by the pound.

I shopped in a trance, I mean hundreds of candles and aromas of childhood and great memories from the past filled the air. I did not think I was taking that long but I get mesmerized...Ooops. I finally meet up with the devious duo and to my surprised, I gasp outloud. Jason is has blue drool coming down both sides of his mouth and cheeks packed with gum like a squirrel. His pockets are full in his pants and coat, his hands are full.

What should I do, what should I do?? I walk him over to the counter and tell the clerk his weight. She puts him on the scale and deducts it from the total, then charges me for the difference. I wanted to crawl out of there and never return.......that never happened, they had my favorite candles there after all. Jason was named "The Candy Man"!!>>Believe51

[PinkGirl]

Enough time has passed that I have another one to share!!!

I wear a prostetic and I have all the expensive mastectomy
bras and accessories ... but I usually just pop the thing into
a sports bra because it's faster and easier.

I went down to our train station to meet an old friend who was
traveling through town ... had to get up real early ... it was 40
below ....

I had slept in one of my old, stretched sports bras and didn't have
time to change it .... popped the fake boob in and went to see my
old buddy ... had a nice 20 minute visit with her and then headed to
the grocery store ... as I was walking into the store I could feel the
boob sliding down ... it had come out the bottom of the bra because
the elastic was all stretched ... I was at the front of the store where
the carts are ... I put my hand on my stomach to stop it from falling
right out and decided to go back to my car in the parking lot ... I
leaned inside the card and pulled the boob out the bottom of my parka

Now what to do with it??? I couldn't leave this big thing that looks like
a boneless/skinless chicken breast sitting on the car seat ... looked around
and saw that my hubby had left one of his knitted ski hats in the back
seat .. so I put the boob inside the hat .. now it looked some someone's
head was in the back seat but it was better than a naked boob.

I went back in and did my shopping .... got home with the groceries and
carried them in along with my boob in a touque.

[Margerie]

LOL Believe!! You are pretty popular

If it makes you feel any better, I have a friend that went waterskiing with her husband and his boss. She fell while waterskiing, and got back up on the skis. Went A LONG time on the next run and finally dropped off as she was very tired. As they circled around the boat, she noticed her entire naked breast was hanging out the side of the life vest!! It was white and therefore very noticable. It must of happened when she fell the first time, but the water was so cold she didn't notice.

[PinkGirl]

This is sort of a long story: There was a mix-up with
some tests that I had done at my cancer centre and
I ended up waiting almost a month for the results of
an MRI on a "suspicious mass" in my liver. I wasn't
in my right mind toward the end of the waiting period.

The day before I got the results (which were good) I
backed our big truck out of the front driveway without
unplugging the block heater. I heard a quiet, little snap
and was relieved that the plug had come undone. I didn't
want to be one of those silly looking people who drive around
town dragging a 30 foot extension cord. When I came home
I decided to park the big truck at the back of our yard behind
the garage. I am not good at "maneuvers" with this truck
so I got all lined up nice and straight (in my neighbours driveway)
and then just shot straight back. Unfortunately, I forgot to
hit the brakes, and I crashed into the closed garage door. My
brother happened to be driving by and he stopped to help me.
He told me not to worry and that he and my husband would
just get some big hammers and smash out the dents. I called
my hubby at work (he was really busy that day) and told him
what I'd done. He said don't worry, you've got a lot on your mind
and then called me back a few hours later and asked me to repeat
the story - he thought maybe he was dreaming. When he came
home for supper it was dark out. He came in the house carrying
some big black plug with all these colourful wires hanging out
of it. He told me he found this thing in the front yard. Oops, I
guess the block heater cord hadn't unplugged itself - I had ripped
the plug right out of the block heater wires and all. Then he went
in the back yard with a flashlight to look at the garage door. He came
in and said he thought the door was "toast". I told him, no, no, my
brother says you can fix it with a hammer. He gave me one of his
leary looks - I called my brother - he laughed, said the door was
definitely toast - he just didn't want to make me feel bad.

We hired a "handy" friend to fix everything, and he told me to
call him the next time I was waiting for test results - he could
use the money. The next day my onc. called and said all my
tests were fine. It was an expensive and embarrassing wait.

[Believe51]

I give up. When moving out of town for a while, my son Jason and I would take the bus to our new place so we could paint and whatnot, he was 4 at the time. Being busy studying for college finals I was a bit predisposed reading my books during our ride. The driver said to sit in the seats reserved for handicapped patrons so we did not have to stand. Right in front I must add!!. The bus was going to an area that was heavily populated by the Jewish community; gorgeous homes, pleasant neighbors and I was going to be a part of it. We were so excited to be moving here and leaving our very noisy town, we could not wait. Jason was educated about the differences in religions since he was a smaller tyke and knew the basics. I wanted him to always grow without prejustice and be a non-judgemental person with a basic understanding of people......(just setting the stage)

Jason asked me for a piece of gum since he never went into my purse. This day was important for me because I had to keep my 4.0 GPA and I was already in advanced placement. Busy as I was I told him that he could go into my purse and grab his own piece of gum.

Still with my head in the books I never noticed what he was doing. Before I looked down at him he beckoned me once more. A tad frustrated about the disturbance again, I looked over to see what he wanted.

He had grabbed my diaphram out from its container, placed it on his head and replied:
"Look Mom, I am Jewish!!" He was smiling since he was just showing off some of that basic knowledge!! He was so proud of himself and just wanted me to be proud too!! I just wanted to cry as this busload of working people, mostly Jewish, starred. Ohh, shuttering to remember this again...LOL.

Til this day I still get embarrassed thinking about this story, but I DID PROMISE CHRISY I would fess up. Everything turned out terrific, I passed my exam and kept my 4.0, remaining on the Dean's List. Jason grew up and expanded his understanding of religions, he turned out to be the person I was hoping he would be....non-judgemental, not prejusticed and very accepting. And joy, I am still here to talk about it!! Uggh!

Hope I have not offended anyone here today, this was from a 4 year old boy and a mom that only wanted one!! Just a small chapter in the story I call my life. Now please do not look at me differently...LOL>>Believe51

PS: First thing I did after I came home from my hysterectomy was throw that dang thing out.....but I did it laughing!!

[Believe51]

Kind of a similar story Bill. My neck and spine need to be fused but I have refused to do it for all these years. In the mean time I am taking care of this pain and discomfort in many different ways to avoid as many medications as possible. Ed used to exchange massages when he was well and since he cannot keep up he bought a very nice, heavy duty Shiatsu massager for my neck.

Ah what a dream. I get into my Lazy Boy chair and turn on its vibration and heat. I make a Tumeric Tea, grab a good book, my blankie, check on you all before settling in. And atlast the Shiatsu machine gets plugged in and geared up.

Before I knew it it was daybreak. Without realizing it I shower and then I scoot off to work. It was not until the end of my day did a brazen friend ask what kind of massages am I getting now. I still did not have a clue of why, just thought she was commenting on our Anniversary party the evening before.

I had a plum-size rug burn on each side of my neck. I had been working with special needs children all day and even went to an Autism seminar!! All along I was wondering why I was getting looks throughout the day. Thankfully it was a friend who mentioned this to me again and not one of the parents!!>>Believe51

[sassy]

Hey Bill, either of you familiar with Granby?

[harrie]

I got one! I was on a women's adult soccer team. After the game, it is not unusual for us to fly off our sweaty shirts and just go around in a sports bra with our shorts on. Well my friend forgot she was wearing her regular bra and NOT her sports bra and she threw off her shirt after the game!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!

[Believe51]

Chrisy.....Do tell. I have many more where these come from. This thread is terrific, I am starting my days now reading from 'Taking Your Mind Off BC' threads BEFORE I start my days WITH cancer. It has proven effective many years for me to begin my days with smiles and laughter, a lovely coping skill. By reading these crazy threads I am NOW having twice as many chuckles to start off my mornings and I feel cleansed before I get going. Great job to all and I know this is just a start to many more of life's most embarrasing moments!!>>Believe51!!

NOW COMMA-N CHRISY, SHOW US YOUR STUFF!!

[Margerie]

LOL Pink girl I just blogged about my latest car mishap. Of course I am done with treatment, maybe I can blame residual chemo brain.

http://margerie-margerie.blogspot.co...-mercedes.html

[Kathy S in Tokyo]

Dressing up has so much potential for embarassment. My mom was so pleased when I got an invitation to the annual Junior League Cotillion when I was 14. Selected young ladies from area schools could enjoy dinner and dancing with selected young men from other schools and practice our party manners with a hall full of Junior League women chaperones. My mom decided that I wasn't the "pretty in pink" type and would look much better in a cream colored camisole and a sleek wrap-around black Danskin skirt and pumps. My friends were all a little jealous of my cosmopoltan look over the ruffles their moms made them wear and I was lucky to be asked to dance by a nice young man who was actually a good dancer and leader, making me look like a good dancer as I followed his lead, spinning and dipping and all. My friends of course were all tsking and clucking about the fact that I'd abandoned our dinner table to dance with a strange boy from another school but seemed to enjoy the event. Halfway through the twist they all had a great laugh when I stepped on my hem and left the skirt on the floor. I just picked it up on the next twist down and tied it back on without missing a step. I was surprised the Jr. League invited me back the next year after my strip show.

[Kathy S in Tokyo]

Oh, and there's the time I answered the door to the mailman who had a package that needed to be signed for. Actually, here in Japan we use a little red stamp with our name in Chinese characters to "stamp" for packages. I'd just nursed my week old daughter to sleep and was a little sleepy myself when the doorbell rang. The postman looked a little uncomfortable as he explained that he needed me to stamp for a package. I asked to to wait while I went and got the red stamp that we use. When I bent over to stamp the receipt, I discovered that my shirt was wiiiiiiiiide open and I was braless. My greatly enlarged milk jugs were out there in the breeze! I gave the postman an "Ooops, sorry" and he gave me a big smile. My husband still wonders why the postman cheerily greets me by name when we are out doing errands.

[madubois63]

There are so many moments in my life that qualify for this thread, but I love this one...I was 16 at the time and clothes/make-up were my life. My best friend and I decided to take a "modeling" class at A& S (Abraham & Strauss - Macy's competition). The class was taught by a professional model and after several weeks of make-up, hair and fashion tips, there would be a big "runway" show at the store. I was so excited and thought this would be the start of my career...Everyone had to choose 2 outfits to wear for the show, one sporty and one dressy. I was 5' 7", had long brown curly hair and was thin at the time (oh, so looong agoooo). My sister (5 years older) took me to the store and we tried on every outfit in the store before deciding on "THE" outfits to wear. My best friend picked a pretty frilly "gunny sack" dress (like the old fashioned prairie dresses), but my sister and I went straight to the evening wear department and picked out this incredible black lace, slinky thing...I was chosen to go last...supposed to be the finale - gonna wow the crowd in this amazing dress. I'm thinking I am hot shit! We modeled the first outfit, then ran back stage to change. Make-up was great, hair was great...everything perfect. I put the dress on and my sister's borrowed shoes...amazing spiked heal strappy things...I came out of the room (carpeted) stepped out on the newly waxed slick floor and heard everyone gasp. I was the hit of the show!! But, I realized as my spiked heals hit the floor, I was sliding out of control and just about couldn't stop - ugh!!! I felt like my eyes were popping out of my head and all these unpleasant images were running through my head. Somehow I caught my footing and didn't go down. I was crushed. My career was up in flames...Later, everyone told me I looked like an angel just floating across the floor - LOL. Somehow, no one knew that I was truly out of control. I still laugh about that moment and appreciate the opportunity to share....

[madubois63]

Oh, oh oh...I thought of a great ONE!! I have told this one before, but many of you may not remember or may not have read it. During my first bout with the beast, I was in a new relationship. We had started dating one month before being diagnosed. My boyfriend was amazing. Took me to treatments, and didn't care that I had lost my hair. One weekend, we went upstate to go skiing with his 3 kids and my 2. I had spent the whole week, trying on hats, and scarves worrying about my wig and keeping it on during the trip. I finally figured it out and had learned how to tie the scarves just just. We drive upstate, and hit the slopes. I am not a good skier at all and NEVER said I was. My kids were off taking lessons, and most of Johns kids went off and did their own thing. John and his oldest son, Casey, were dragging me off to this one mountain. I kept telling them to go off without me and I would catch up. I was a bit winded (was doing adrio and cytoxin at the time), but I stupidly got on the lift. The ride up was beautiful. I was enjoying the scenery...We got to the top, the bar went up on the lift, my scarf got caught on the bar and my wig went up with the bar!!!! I FREAKED OUT. I retrieved the wig, but could not ski after that. Rescue had to come and take me down the hill on a sled!! I was sooooooooo embarrassed, but I DID truly enjoy the ride down the mountain - LOL!!

John and our families spent the rest of the winter skiing, while I read my books and drank hot chocolate in the lodge each weekend!!

[Bill]

Those are all so funny! You all have me laughing and grinning like crazy. (with you, not at you). CHRISY! You better tell soon...we have been waiting patiently....the madcap in me is growing restless, we'll give you a few more days, and then I might have to post your embarrassing moment for you. It might go something like this, "Hello, Ladies, Chrisy called me on the phone last night and wanted me to make this embarrassing post for her, it seems that when she was 19 and a freshman in college, she and a friend flew up to a concert in Vancouver, and the next thing you know they ended up in a motel room doing Tequila shots with Gordon Lightfoot and his band. Now, here's the embarrassing part......" In other words, Chrisy, what we are imagining is probably worse than your actual post. Tell, Chrisy, tell all. I'm trying to think of other times I've been embarrassed, but I don't have any. Well, maybe when I said Andi was a "hot flasher", yeah, that one. And maybe when I yelled at Harrie 'cause she was sounding too happy out in the warm Hawaian sunshine, that one, too, I guess, oh yeah, that's right, and the time I carried on about Lady Pink saddling up her sled dogs and riding them up to the lake, only she doesn't have any dogs, only a truck that she drives a few feet too far, sometimes. Maybe I'm embarrassed more than I thought.

[Believe51]

I have many more little stories but one I must have the time to set the scene of the "The Most Embarrassing Event" of my lifetime!! Guess I am just not ready for that one. I do think, Bill, that Chrisy will come around after I tell her that story. In the mean time you betta (my RI accent) start thinking about some moments 'cause I know you got 'em>>Believe51

[Bill]

oh yeah, Sassy, Billy Martin, Sr. and I think something like 20 some state championships in a row at Granby High School. I went to the Granby school of wrestling one summer. My coach in high school came from Great Bridge over to Western Branch in Chesapeake where I wrestled and he coached us in the Granby style. It was alot of fun. Why?

[sassy]

I had some friends that went to Granby school when I was in high school. Wrestling was a big sport and I was a fan.