As long as you are praying . . .

alicem · 04-30-2009, 09:15 AM

Well, I have thought that I could handle just about everything going on in my life with all the prayers and support from my family and loved ones - - but that was up until the latest news I received today.

I know the good news is that my chemo is almost over, but I am really dreading treatment # 6 this coming Tuesday, even though I know it is the last one (I hope). Chemo #3 and #4 kind of came and went because of other things in my life. My father, age of 88 passed away on April 4th. He had Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and he had been missing my mom since she passed away in 1999, but it was (and still is) very hard to let him go. The picture I decided to post was of my family at his church after the funeral. My youngest, Kelly, is holding the flag that was on his coffin. She is dealing with a lot since her fiance has been stationed now over in Italy with the Army. He will be deployed to Afghanistan sometime this fall. It has been very hard on her, and because of that, also on me.

The latest news came this morning. My oldest daughter Laura (she is on the left in the picture) just found out that her boyfriend will not be regaining the sight in one of his eyes after a freak accident. He fell while holding a glass and part of the glass went into his eye. He also needed about 12 stitches around his face. It happened about 10 days ago, and originally he was told that he might regain about 70% of his vision, but now they are telling him otherwise. The hardest part about all of this is that he is in Poland and she is in Pittsburgh. They met in graduate school and he flew back there for a wedding of a good friend. He has had 2 eye surgeries, and now has found out that part of his retina is detached and now deformed. She is trying to get leave from her labwork so she can fly over to be with him and his family. The doctors there tell him there is nothing more they can do.

Since so many of you are out there researching the medical community, do any of you know of the best place to go for eye surgery? I don't have a clue other than asking my own eye doctor. They are both young and very distraught. I searched the Caregiver's Corner and sent her something Joe had posted on the Top 10 ways that a caregiver can help their loved one deal with BC, because I thought it had a lot of good suggestions for a caregiver, regardless of the situation.

I am fine, but the stress is mounting. I have been crying all day for both she and Wojtek (pronounced Voytek). I feel pretty helpless myself. I also feel kind of silly because compared to so many of you on this forum who are dealing with so much more, my problems are small.

Anyway, I would appreciate it if you would add them to your ever growing prayer list. Thank you so much, you are all so wonderful.

Alice

Vi Schorpp · 04-30-2009, 09:39 AM

a little bit: Cole Eye Institute which is part of the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. I know that many people come from far away for second opinions, surgery, etc.

You have a lot on your plate right now. When our kids hurt, we hurt...that's just how it is. It's never easy to bury your parents, even if you are prepared. Of course you can add your family and the ones they care about to the prayers' list, along with yourself.

Please don't feel silly for posting...all of us have our own personal tragedies and one doesn't outweigh anothers. I hope things improve as best they can for all of you. You have a beautiful family.

Lani · 04-30-2009, 10:27 AM

Jules Stein Eye Institute at UCLA and the Massachusetts Eye and Ear institute have excellent reputations as does Dr. Kenneth Sparks (California, but not at Jules Stein)

Hope this helps!

Shobha · 04-30-2009, 10:28 AM

Praying for you and your family, Alice! God will find a way to help.

hugs,
shobha

Believe51 · 04-30-2009, 11:48 AM

Alice My Sweet, I know exactly how you feel when you say you feel silly in the midst of what is happening to others. I feel that way sometimes when I ask for prayers or research for the ones I love. I want you to know that as silly as I might think posting things are at times, we are family. We do not judge, we do not just live with breast cancer, life goes on around us. Being a family means we are our own safe haven here, our safety net, our life force. Here is the place we can be human and once again move forward with strength and grace. You have come here for our loving support and to vent and we are and always shall be here to do that for one another. I thank you for coming to us, for being part of this family and for knowing that we will help you. This place is our home and I am so happy that is where you can come.

Whew....that being said, I must say I am so sorry about your Dear Father, I offer my sincere condolences to you. You have so very much going on right now so I add prayers for you as you grieve and deal with other issues. I shall also incorperate prayers for your sweet family as they move forward with their problems. I cried when I read your post and wanted you to know that I wish I could just give you more than a simple post. Thanks for sharing and please keep us updated on what is happening in their lives from time to time. I will keep you all in thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Alice, stay strong and try to take care as things all move forward.>>Believe51

PS: I saved the PS just for you. Congratulations on chemo almost being over. Let's celebrate together Tuesday when it is done.

Lien · 04-30-2009, 01:21 PM

Hi Alice,
That's a lot to be dealing with. It is hard to lose a parent, even when they are ready to go. They still are the ones who remember things about our earliest days, who cuddled us, nurtured us and loved us from the moment we were born.

I am so sorry for your daughters' boyfriend. I can't tell you much about eye specialists, as I live in the Netherlands, Europe. I can tell you though, about two people I know who only have one functioning eye. Both have done well. One is my husband, one is my best friends' mother. They both drive, they were able to work, one hardly ever notices. The hardest part is seeing depth. As in overfilling a glass, because they can't see it's full when looking down into the glass. And my husband would have liked to be a pilot, but he is not allowed to fly. I hope Wojtek does regain (some of) his eyesight, but if he doesn't, it is not the end of the world.

But for now, I'd go after the best eye specialist in the world and find out if anything can be done.

Love

Jacqueline

Hopeful · 04-30-2009, 01:47 PM

Alice,

Wills Eye Hospital in Philadelphia is an excellent hospital. I have friends who received treatment there. http://www.willseye.org/patients/

Best of luck to you and your family,

Hopeful

chrisy · 04-30-2009, 04:21 PM

Alice,
Yes, you are bearing a tremendous load. Any one of those things alone would crush a weaker person. It's so understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. It is even harder when those loved ones are so far away.

I really don't have any input on good eye trauma specialists, I just wanted to let you know that you are definitely on the prayer list. And you should never feel silly about casting your cares on us.

Gerri · 04-30-2009, 05:32 PM

Alice,

That is a whole lot to deal with at the same time. I am so sorry to hear about your father. Even when it is expected, the finality of the life of a loved one is hard to accept.

As for your daughters, as Vi said, when our kids hurt, we hurt. Nothing can bring me to tears faster than seeing one of my children in pain. I guess that is what we signed up for when we had kids. Your strength (and I can see you have plenty) will help both of your daughters through their difficult times. You are a terrific role model for them.

I know what you mean about feeling hesitant to post your troubles here; I feel the same way at times. But we are family and you can come here any time.

Congratulations on your final chemo. Continuing on Herceptin makes it a bit anit-climatic, but you will feel a whole lot better!!

Please keep us posted on everything; we will be waiting to hear.

May God bless you and keep you safe.

P.S. Your family picture is lovely.

Yorkiegirl · 04-30-2009, 06:10 PM

Alice prayers going out for your daughters and for you as well. I'm sorry to read about the loss of your father.

I know God will wrap his arms around and comfort you during these most difficult times for you and your family.

I loved seeing the picture.

juanita · 05-01-2009, 03:32 PM

sending prayers from here! and no matter how big or small you think the problem is we want to be here for you. that's what makes this group so great!

alicem · 05-01-2009, 05:07 PM

You are so right Juanita, that is exactly what makes this group so great. I am feeling better this evening - partly due to the well wishes of all of you here. Thank you for all of your condolences, kind thoughts and prayers. I think Father's Day will be the hardest date coming up in the near future. Due to my Dad's Alzheimer's and general health, I never told him about the cancer that was found after the mastectomy. I believe that now I have an extra angel looking out for me from above!

I appreciate all of the suggestions for eye care. I have made a list of them and sent them on to Laura. Things are looking up a bit for Wojtek. Today he was able to distinguish between light and dark, meaning there is not a total loss to the eye yet, so there is still hope. He also misunderstood when the Dr. told him there was nothing more that she could do for him. Right now, his eye needs to heal so that they can determind IF anything more can be done. She knew that he would be returning to the U.S. before that time frame so that is what she meant - she won't do anything more for him but there is a chance someone in the U.S. can. He leaves the hospital in Krakow on Monday, they are keeping him to make sure there is no sign of infection and he will go to his parents home. On Thursday of next week, he will fly back to Pittsburgh. Laura has found a retinal specialist and has set up an appointment for Friday. The Dr. in Poland faxed her the medical report, she had it translated and has sent it on to the specialist. At this point, he is willing to see him so I interpret that as a good sign. So now we wait. Jacqueline, thanks for what you had to say about what life might be like if he does lose this eye. It is reassuring. IF that should happen, I know they will be able to handle it, but there will be a grief process to go through.

As for me, I have found out that Sarah, daughter #2 (in the middle of the picture) is taking a week of vacation this coming week so she can be here to take care of me (and give my husband a break from cooking). She has been working at her job for a little over a year, and has only 2 weeks of vacation so this is pretty special to me that she wants to do this. Just one more blessing to add to the positive column

I have known how important relationships are in our life here on earth, but over the last 8 months this has come into focus so much more for me now. Even though I have never met any of you in person, I feel that I know you as well as close friends by all of your heartfelt postings for one another. I know that you are all so caring and loving and would do just about anything for anyone. You are so special and I am honored to be among you. This family of women (and men) here are a true life force as you said , Believe51. I count this forum, and the people here among the blessings that have come out of this horrid disease.

WomanofSteel · 05-02-2009, 06:04 AM

Adding my prayers to the list.

Believe51 · 05-04-2009, 10:43 PM

Continued prayers to you all, Alice and hoping that you are feeling a little better today. I had you on the mind and needed to stop and let you know. Sending you a cyber hug.>>Believe51

alicem · 05-08-2009, 09:02 PM

Thank you so much for the cyber hug Marie. Thank you also for thinking of me amidst all you and Ed are going through, that means a lot. As was forewarned, #6 has been harder than the others but I am making it through day by day - each new day is better than the previous, but then you all know that

. Still nothing new about Wojtek, but he has made it back to the states.

Believe51 · 05-08-2009, 09:12 PM

Hey, I wanted to respond to this thread which was a few pages back and it was gone....you bumped it up. I am glad you appreciate me asking for you Sweetheart because I did not want to seem like a pain. I just wanted you to know you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. Wheww! Take care and thanks for updating us. Please let us know about Wojtek, as soon as you get information and the time to do so. Smile.>>Believe51

alicem · 05-13-2009, 08:47 PM

Wojtek has met with 2 different retinal specialists in Pittsburgh. They both say that his injury is extremely serious, but they both recommend surgery. The second doctor that he and my daughter met with will be the one doing the operating. He originally scheduled surgery for Saturday, but I heard from Laura tonight and it has been moved up to tomorrow. They will be filling his eye with oil, in hopes that it will help move the retina back in place. They are also removing his lens and will replace it with a plastic one. The very best outcome they feel they can achieve is for him to be able to see the largest "E" on the eye chart, blurry. (His vision will not be lens correctable.) There is only about a 30% chance that this will be the outcome. More than likely, he will only be able to see shadows. There is still a chance that he can lose his eye completely. I'm not sure how long the oil will be kept in his eye, could be 3 - 6 months.

I am so glad they were able to fit him in so soon. Unfortunately, Laura will not be able to make it to Texas as planned to see her little sister graduate from college this Saturday, but it is more important that she stay put.

Please keep this young couple in your prayers. They have a long road of recovery and adjustment ahead of them. Thank you for your input on eye specialists. As it turns out UPMC in Pittsburgh has one of the best.

Believe51 · 05-14-2009, 09:43 PM

What a Sweetie for posting an update. Prayers have continued for you all, just did not want to seem like a pain asking for another update. I am revising prayers after this one though. Things appear to be moving forward and I am cheered by this news.>>Believe51

Sheila · 05-15-2009, 05:02 AM

Alice
Your plate has been so full....hoping by now that treatment #6 is over and you can look forward to life without the chemo.....sending prayers for Laura and her boyfriend that the outcome will be favorable....your strength is being tested, we are here for you and your family!