allergic reaction anyone (tennis anyone?)

[SoCalGal]

Went for my infusion this past Wednesday - I am already on premeds (prednisone blast 40 mg day before, plus zantac, singulair, and 50 mg of my BEHATED benedryl the morning of) for a reaction to Herceptin a few years back - so, I'm going at a decent clip. Meaning 2 hours for slow herceptin, followed by 1 hour slow perjeta, followed by 12 MINUTES (of 60) of my BELOVED Avastin, when POW - my arms start to go numb, heart is pounding and I shout --stop the pump something's wrong!!! Ears turn bright red, heart is pounding out of control, and the stupid pump, which is brand new, has NO CLEARLY MARKED "STOP" BUTTON. (Every pump I've ever used has a RED STOP button). These have zero-visibility buttons. At that point my alarm at the allergy turned in to total PANIC. Thank goodness my clear-minded daughter found the camouflaged "pause" button. And I was quickly surrounded by about 7 people/nurses etc.

And once the drip stopped all symptoms subsided. Well, my panic did not back off so an Ativan shot helped that.

My doc was called and the on-duty (not my regular) NP decided without MY TWO CENTS that I had had enough and the IV was removed. I was arguing to start up the Avastin drip again, at an even slower rate, to see if it was just too much, too fast or WTF???!!! They just took it off the table, which is maddening, saying it was too risky! I already have st4 cancer, so how risky could it be? I could have at least determined if I could tolerate a very slow drip rate.

NOW I know nothing except I did not get more than 12 minutes of Avastin. And the thought of ever doing an infusion again is so terrifying right this minute, I just can't imagine going back there. How much Ativan will it take to get me back in that chair? And how much benedryl to keep me alive? They should have let me get back on the horse while I was still willing.

I have no game plan except to go back to the allergy doctor although he truly was just winging it a few years ago. I am already unhappy with the premeds, HATE the prednisone it makes me crazed, and HATE the benedryl it makes me stupid and just feel so creepy. I already can't go for my infusions alone, this is just going to dial it up to impossible. I am so upset - and by the way my markers came down a bit on the two rounds of Avastin, so I think I really need to get back on this drug.

I feel like I was just getting my feet under me again, and back in the fight game and now I am in free fall, no idea what's gonna be.

If anyone has any ideas/experience on the allergic reactions please weigh in.

Thanks very much...