State of denial

Patty H · 02-19-2006, 03:03 PM

I know I have been dealing with this cancer for 5 1/2 years and you would think I would be over this by now. But I still go into a state of denial. I know my biopsy showed it was cancer the first 2 times. But after that they just assumed it was breast cancer in my lungs and bones because of the pet+ct-scan. The chemo didn't get rid of the lung mets but maybe the radiation did.( I have another ct-scan on Wed) But I have felt good through most of this and when I didn't it was because of something they did to me. Sometimes I still feel like they must be wrong, I can't have stage 4 cancer. Does anyone else go through this denial stage even after all this time. Patty H

Sheila · 02-20-2006, 05:04 AM

Patty

I understand where you are coming from...even though the scans look good, with every ache and pain comes doubt....I guess its just a fact of life for us...we are always waiting for the ball to drop. It is nice to go for a week or 2 forgetting that this disease lurks over our heads. Many days I think how can I feel so much like myself and be stage IV? I think mostly it is due to new technology....Stage IV used to be the end of the line, now its just more of a bend in the road. I just saw an article on TV that said the newest technology involves freezinf the tumor for breast cancer, avoiding lumpectomy and mastectomy altogether! Wouldn't that be amazing. Things change daily!!!!

sarah · 02-20-2006, 07:26 AM

you mention that you aren't feeling any pain. that's GREAT! If that's due to denial then that's what works for you. Do everything the doctors tell you to do to fight the cancer but keep up your positive attitude.
good luck
Sarah

aquinis2000 · 02-20-2006, 08:08 PM

Patty, I too live in a state of denial. Your sounds like it from a great attitude. Mine is from many ativan, high doses of effexor and lunesta. When the onc talks to me I just keep thinking.............I reject your reality and replace it with my own. Mine is a much happier place than hers.Sometimes all i hear is.....bla bla bla...cancer..........bla bla bla......infusion..........bla bla bla......next week.And go out and live my life like nothings wrong.of course with my freinds, mr. ativan and miss effexor. I'm stage 4 too. I think denial is the best state in the country. good luck.