When Bad Things Happen to Good People

[Gerri]

One of my favorite books of all times is “When Bad Things Happen to Good People”, by Harold Kushner. I have read this book many times over the years and pull it out when something happens that causes me to question why bad things happen to those we love. This past week was one of those times and I went back to this book for the solace it gives me each time I read it.

Why do bad things happen to good people? They just do. I know that doesn’t give us the answer we are looking for, but it does help to explain why our prayers are not always answered in the way that we want them to be. Miracles happen, but maybe they are not the miracles we prayed for – loved ones die in spite of our prayers, but the miracle may be that families are reunited, friends come back into our lives, new friends are made, bonds are strengthened. God doesn’t cause the pain and misery in the world, but He is there to give us strength and carry us through the hard times.

I completely respect the views and beliefs of all the members of this board and certainly mean no disrespect by this post. I am merely offering it to those who are struggling to understand the unfairness of life. I have benefited greatly from this book and hope that others can as well.

May God grant us the strength we need to get through this difficult time.


Love to all,

[Colleens_Husband]

Gerri:

Thanks for bring up this topic. I was thinking about the same thing after hearing about Kate's passing and Tonya's surgery. Those were two very good people who didn't do anything to deserve any of this.

As for God's mysterious plan, and why good people get tested this severely, I'll leave that for another day. Let me just say that good people become good people by overcoming adversity.

Lee

[Leslie's sister]

This is a good post. Difficult to think about but something we all think about anyway. The first question that pops up in our minds is "Why me?" I think that Gerri covered it well. God definitely doesn't cause the pain, He suffers with us (just as we suffer when our own children are hurting) and He is there to pick us up.

I recognize that I am going to suffer more sadness in my life. I am not looking forward to it but know it is as much a part of my walk as the joy in my life. This past weekend's Wall Street Journal had an excellent article about Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon University professor, in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. He has become famous for his final farewell. There was a link to his lecture posted on this site somewhere. One of the quotes in the article struck me, "For many of us, his lecture has become a reminder that our own futures are similarly, if not as drastically, brief. His fate is ours, sped up."

I also recognize what Lee says as well about good people becoming good people through adversity. One of my own person comments is, "I have to learn every lesson the hard way, but I learn it." Another one is "I am the valedictorian of the School of Hard Knocks." Don't get me wrong, I am not an advocate of suffering, I just recognize my own personal growth from it. That is not to say that I wouldn't embrace the end of these life lessons, but for me, the graduation, if you will, would be eternity with our heavenly Father. (In other words, I'm quite confident that I will continue to grow through adversity until my final day)

Thanks Gerri & Lee for bringing up such a thought provoking topic.

[PinkGirl]

Thanks for that reminder Gerri. I read that book many years ago but I don't own a copy. I guess it's time for me to go to the library and re-read it.

[Mary Jo]

Hi Gerri,

Thank you so much for this wonderful post. It speaks to my heart and it's how I feel as well. Sadly, bad things do happen to good people and trying to figure it out only results in more confusion and more questions.

I do know that those who I know that have had serious trials in their life.......lost their life way too young (at least we thought so) were the most positive, encouraging and giving people I've ever met. Another quality I've seen in all of them is they think of others always before themselves. Special people.......special angels??? I think so.

Well, I could go on and on but I won't. Basically just want to say thank you for sharing from your heart. I respect you for that.

God's Peace and love,,,

Mary Jo

[Bill]

Thanks, Gerri, for the post. Haven't read that one, will try to. Yeah, me, at a loss for words. Love you guys.

[Alaska Laura]

I love this book, my favorite passage which has helped me tremendously on this journey is on page 44 of his book, Rabbi Kusher is talking about why bad things happen and he is analyzing the story of Job:

"...God is not doing this to us. If God is a God of justice and not power, then He Can still be on our side when bad things happen to us. He can know that we are good and honest people who deserve better. Our misfortunes are none of His doing, and so we can turn to Him for help. Our question will not be Job's question "God, why are You doing this to me?" but rather "God, see what is happening to me. Can You help me?" We turn to God, not to be judged or forgiven, not to be rewarded or punished, but to be strengthened and comforted."

So I know, that I am being strengthened and supported by God as I continue to ever go forward. Rabbi Kusher also says a bunch of other things that mean a lot to me, especially how after traumatic events, in order to make sense of it, and make the experience worthwhile (or something like that), that we should help others who are having to experience the same traumatic event. This makes sense to me! So I continue to go forward and meet kindred souls who help make sense of this crazy world we live in.

I wish you all strength and wellness.