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Old 05-13-2007, 11:59 PM   #1
hutchibk
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sex?...

I can't believe I am asking this, as I really don't have the desire, but I would like to try anyway... my significant other has been so very patient over the last 3 years of this journey, but I would like to know if he and I will ever be able to add the intimate side of life back to our relationship.

I learned at an MD Anderson survivor's seminar last year that chemo patients should abstain from sex for a week after each treatment, to be sure that the partner is not exposed to chemo. That is all well and good when having infusion every 3 weeks, but what do we do now that we are taking Xeloda every day for 14 days and then have only one week off in between?

Any thoughts?
__________________
Brenda

NOV 2012 - 9 yr anniversary
JULY 2012 - 7 yr anniversary stage IV (of 50...)

Nov'03~ dX stage 2B
Dec'03~
Rt side mastectomy, Her2+, ER/PR+, 10 nodes out, one node positive
Jan'04~
Taxotere/Adria/Cytoxan x 6, NED, no Rads, Tamox. 1 year, Arimadex 3 mo., NED 14 mo.
Sept'05~
micro mets lungs/chest nodes/underarm node, Switched to Aromasin, T/C/H x 7, NED 6 months - Herceptin only
Aug'06~
micro mets chest nodes, & bone spot @ C3 neck, Added Taxol to Herceptin
Feb'07~ Genetic testing, BRCA 1&2 neg

Apr'07~
MRI - two 9mm brain mets & 5 punctates, new left chest met, & small increase of bone spot C3 neck, Stopped Aromasin
May'07~
Started Tykerb/Xeloda, no WBR for now
June'07~
MRI - stable brain mets, no new mets, 9mm spots less enhanced, CA15.3 down 45.5 to 9.3 in 10 wks, Ty/Xel working magic!
Aug'07~
MRI - brain mets shrunk half, NO NEW BRAIN METS!!, TMs stable @ 9.2
Oct'07~
PET/CT & MRI show NED
Apr'08~
scans still show NED in the head, small bone spot on right iliac crest (rear pelvic bone)
Sept'08~
MRI shows activity in brain mets, completed 5 fractions/5 consecutive days of IMRT to zap the pesky buggers
Oct'08~
dropped Xeloda, switched to tri-weekly Herceptin in combo with Tykerb, extend to tri-monthly Zometa infusion
Dec'08~
Brain MRI- 4 spots reduced to punctate size, large spot shrunk by 3mm, CT of torso clear/pelvis spot stable
June'09~
new 3-4mm left cerrebellar spot zapped with IMRT targeted rads
Sept'09~
new 6mm & 1 cm spots in pituitary/optic chiasm area. Rx= 25 days of 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the tumors.
Oct'09~
25 days of low dose 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the bone mets spot on rt. iliac crest that have been watching for 2 years. Added daily Aromasin back into treatment regimen.
Apr'10~ Brain MRI clear! But, see new small spot on adrenal gland. Change from Aromasin back to Tamoxifen.
June'10~ Tumor markers (CA15.3) dropped from 37 to 23 after one month on Tamoxifen. Continue to monitor adrenal gland spot. Remain on Tykerb/Herceptin/Tamoxifen.
Nov'10~ Radiate positive mediastinal node that was pressing on recurrent laryngeal nerve, causing paralyzed larynx and a funny voice.
Jan'11~ MRI shows possible activity or perhaps just scar tissue/necrotic increase on 3 previously treated brain spots and a pituitary spot. 5 days of IMRT on 4 spots.
Feb'11~ Enrolled in T-DM1 EAP in Denver, first treatment March 25, 2011.
Mar'11~ Finally started T-DM1 EAP in Denver at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center/Rose on Mar. 25... hallelujah.

"I would rather be anecdotally alive than statistically dead."
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Old 05-14-2007, 09:46 AM   #2
Shell
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Brenda-

I have NEVER heard of any restrictions for abstinence due to the chemo - is that really updated info?

Regards,
__________________
Shell

init diag 3/17/03-stage IIIC
ER-/PR-/HER2+++
CET x4 neo-adjuvant
lump & SNB 8/03
CET x2
radiation and herceptin/navelbine 11-03-1/04
1st reoccur to lymph nodes 8/04
complete axillary dissection 12/04
herceptin/taxotere til progression (lungs) 3/05
xeloda w/out lapatinib trial 6/05
lapatinib/tykerb added 4/06
ended trial 8/06 due to progression
doxil / avastin 11/06-12/06 - wasn't working
navelbine/herceptin/avastin 12/06/3/07 - progression
gemzar/carboplatin/tykerb 4/07
mri shows extensive mets to bone in pelvic area 6/07
switched to abraxane (3 on/1 off) + tykerb 6/07
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Old 05-14-2007, 11:32 AM   #3
hutchibk
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I learned it at the Beth Saunders Moore Workshop for Young Breast Cancer Survivors break out session at the MD Anderson annual Living Fully With and Beyond Cancer Conference in Houston last year.

From what I learned, it is thought by some doctors that for people in chemotherapy, abstinence or condoms should be used during sex for up to a few days after treatment. This is advised even if there is no risk of pregnancy and is to prevent any possible problems for their partner. Chemo can be secreted in bodily fluids (including saliva), but is probably too diluted to do much harm. However, for those of us in ongoing treatment, I am guessing that our partners are at risk of more consistent exposure to chemo, and I wonder what the downside of that might be.
__________________
Brenda

NOV 2012 - 9 yr anniversary
JULY 2012 - 7 yr anniversary stage IV (of 50...)

Nov'03~ dX stage 2B
Dec'03~
Rt side mastectomy, Her2+, ER/PR+, 10 nodes out, one node positive
Jan'04~
Taxotere/Adria/Cytoxan x 6, NED, no Rads, Tamox. 1 year, Arimadex 3 mo., NED 14 mo.
Sept'05~
micro mets lungs/chest nodes/underarm node, Switched to Aromasin, T/C/H x 7, NED 6 months - Herceptin only
Aug'06~
micro mets chest nodes, & bone spot @ C3 neck, Added Taxol to Herceptin
Feb'07~ Genetic testing, BRCA 1&2 neg

Apr'07~
MRI - two 9mm brain mets & 5 punctates, new left chest met, & small increase of bone spot C3 neck, Stopped Aromasin
May'07~
Started Tykerb/Xeloda, no WBR for now
June'07~
MRI - stable brain mets, no new mets, 9mm spots less enhanced, CA15.3 down 45.5 to 9.3 in 10 wks, Ty/Xel working magic!
Aug'07~
MRI - brain mets shrunk half, NO NEW BRAIN METS!!, TMs stable @ 9.2
Oct'07~
PET/CT & MRI show NED
Apr'08~
scans still show NED in the head, small bone spot on right iliac crest (rear pelvic bone)
Sept'08~
MRI shows activity in brain mets, completed 5 fractions/5 consecutive days of IMRT to zap the pesky buggers
Oct'08~
dropped Xeloda, switched to tri-weekly Herceptin in combo with Tykerb, extend to tri-monthly Zometa infusion
Dec'08~
Brain MRI- 4 spots reduced to punctate size, large spot shrunk by 3mm, CT of torso clear/pelvis spot stable
June'09~
new 3-4mm left cerrebellar spot zapped with IMRT targeted rads
Sept'09~
new 6mm & 1 cm spots in pituitary/optic chiasm area. Rx= 25 days of 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the tumors.
Oct'09~
25 days of low dose 3D conformal fractionated targeted IMRT to the bone mets spot on rt. iliac crest that have been watching for 2 years. Added daily Aromasin back into treatment regimen.
Apr'10~ Brain MRI clear! But, see new small spot on adrenal gland. Change from Aromasin back to Tamoxifen.
June'10~ Tumor markers (CA15.3) dropped from 37 to 23 after one month on Tamoxifen. Continue to monitor adrenal gland spot. Remain on Tykerb/Herceptin/Tamoxifen.
Nov'10~ Radiate positive mediastinal node that was pressing on recurrent laryngeal nerve, causing paralyzed larynx and a funny voice.
Jan'11~ MRI shows possible activity or perhaps just scar tissue/necrotic increase on 3 previously treated brain spots and a pituitary spot. 5 days of IMRT on 4 spots.
Feb'11~ Enrolled in T-DM1 EAP in Denver, first treatment March 25, 2011.
Mar'11~ Finally started T-DM1 EAP in Denver at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center/Rose on Mar. 25... hallelujah.

"I would rather be anecdotally alive than statistically dead."
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Old 05-14-2007, 08:49 PM   #4
Bev
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I bet one of Onc nurses will know. Just leave a message on the triage line. I would think it would depend on the particular type of drug. The body gets rid of some drugs more quickly.

The only drug they gave me that caution about was AC. They might have said 48 hrs and I was not thinking about sex in those 48 hours.

Good luck, Bev
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Old 05-15-2007, 08:07 AM   #5
Joy
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sex?

I just wish I could have some.
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with love and gratitude,
joy

dx stage I 2/2000*er/pr+; her- per IHC*lumpectomy*4 rounds A/C*30 rads*tamoxifen*dx stage 4 5/2002*huge mets to liver*tiny mets to lungs*stopped tamoxifen*5/02 taxotere/xeloda*her 2 checked with FiSH-her2+++herceptin *2/03 stopped chemo femara w/herceptin*zolodex*04 switched to aromasin w/herceptin*05 high estrogen tx*11/05taxol/carbo*7/06 stopped chemo; megace/herceptin*9/06navelbine/herceptin*5/07tykerb/xeloda great response*4/08 progression in liver; ooph/ faslodex /herceptin
6/08 began Herceptin DM-1
9/08 progression
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Old 05-16-2007, 05:17 AM   #6
Sheila
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Posts: 3,507
I'm with Joy, whats sex??????????????? Must be chemo brain, I don't remember the last time I had it!
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle."



Hugs & Blessings
Sheila
Diagnosed at age 49.99999 2/21/2002 via Mammography (Calcifications)
Core Biopsy 2/22/02
L. Mastectomy 2/25/2002
Stage 1, 0.7cm IDC, Node Neg from 19 nodes Her2+++ ER PR Neg
6/2003 Reconstruction W/ Tissue Expander, Silicone Implant
9/2003 Stage IV with Mets to Supraclavicular nodes
9/2003 Began Herceptin every 3 weeks
3/2006 Xeloda 2500mg/Herceptin for recurrence to neck nodes
3/2007 Added back the Xeloda with Herceptin for continued mets to nodes
5/2007 Taken Off Xeloda, no longer working
6/14/07 Taxol/Herceptin/Avastin
3/26 - 5/28/08 Taxol Holiday Whopeeeeeeeee
5/29 2008 Back on Taxol w Herceptin q 2 weeks
4/2009 Progression on Taxol & Paralyzed L Vocal Cord from Nodes Pressing on Nerve
5/2009 Begin Rx with Navelbine/Herceptin
11/09 Progression on Navelbine
Fought for and started Tykerb/Herceptin...nodes are melting!!!!!
2/2010 Back to Avastin/Herceptin
5/2010 Switched to Metronomic Chemo with Herceptin...Cytoxan and Methotrexate
Pericardial Window Surgery to Drain Pericardial Effusion
7/2010 Back to walking a mile a day...YEAH!!!!
9/2010 Nodes are back with a vengence in neck
Qualified for TDM-1 EAP
10/6/10 Begin my miracle drug, TDM-1
Mixed response, shrinking internal nodes, progression skin mets after 3 treatments
12/6/10 Started Halaven (Eribulen) /Herceptin excellent results in 2 treatments
2/2011 I CELEBRATE my 9 YEAR MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/5/11 begin Gemzar /Herceptin for node progression
2/8/2012 Gemzar stopped, Continue Herceptin
2/20/2012 Begin Tomo Radiation to Neck Nodes
2/21/2012 I CELEBRATE 10 YEARS
5/12/2012 BeganTaxotere/ Herceptin is my next miracle for new node progression
6/28/12 Stopped Taxotere due to pregression, Started Perjeta/Herceptin
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Old 05-16-2007, 09:22 AM   #7
SoCalGal
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have sex - use lube - act as if

Ladies,
Buy something sexy. Buy some LUBE - we need tons of it. Light some candles. Play some music. Re-connect with your inner sexy self, the girl you used to be and try to have an intimate evening. Act as if and soon you won't be acting.

It is a very healthy part of our treatment - that intimacy and connection. Even if sex is difficult (and it is all the time) it's worth figuring it out as it provides a deep spiritual connection with our partners who also need this kind of nurturing and connection with us.

Often I have to force myself, psych myself up, pretend at the beginning but then I never regret it. I think it's healthy for both people and it makes me feel normal again - not cancerish.

I am a bit horrified to find out that I could have been exposing my partner to chemo. (Maybe THAT'S what happened to my Wasband - maybe HE had chemo brain).

Okay - this will be another segment on our Opraph show. xo. Flori
__________________
1996 cancer WTF?! 1.3 cm lumpectomy Er/Pr neg. Her2+ (20nodes NEGATIVE) did CMF + rads. NED.
2002 recurrence. Bilateral mastectomy w/TFL autologous recon. Then ACx2. Skin lymphatic rash. Taxotere w/Herceptin x4. Herceptin/Xeloda. Finally stops spreading.
2003 - Back to surgery, remove skin mets, and will have surgery one week later when pathology can confirm margins.
‘03 latisimus dorsi flap to remove skin mets. CLEAN MARGINS. Continue single agent Herceptin thru 4/04. NED.
‘04 '05 & 06 tiny recurrences - scar line. surgery to cut out. NED each time.
1/2006 Rads again, to scar line. NED.

3/07 Heartbreaking news - mets! lungs.sternum. Try Tykerb/Xeloda. Tykerb/Carbo/Gemzar. Switch Oncs.
12/07 Herceptin.Tykerb. Markers go stable.
2/8/08 gamma knife 13mm stupid brain met.
3/08 Herceptin/tykerb/avastin/zometa.
3/09 brain NED. Lungs STABLE.
4/09 attack sternum (10 daysPHOTONS.5 days ELECTRONS)
9/09 MARKERS normal!
3/10 PET/CT=manubrium intensely metabolically active but stable. NEDhead.
Wash out 5/10 for tdm1 but 6/10 CT STABLE, PET improving. Markers normal. Brain NED. Resume just Herceptin plus ZOMETA
Dec 2010 Brain NED, lungs/sternum stable. markers normal.
MAR 2011 stop Herceptin/allergy! Go back on Tykerb and switch to Xgeva.
May-Aug 2011 Tykerb Herceptin Xgeva.
Sept 2011 Tykerb, Herceptin, Zometa, Avastin.
April 2012 sketchy drug trial in NYC. 6 weeks later I’m NED!
OCT 2012 PET/CT shows a bunch of freakin’ progression. Back to LA and Herceptin.avastin.zometa.
12/20/12 add in PERJETA!
March 2013 – 5 YEARS POST continue HAPZ
APRIL 2013 - 6 yrs stage 4. "FAILED" PETscan on 4/2/13
May 2013: rePetted - improvement in lungs, left adrenal stable, right 6th rib inactive, (must be PERJETA avastin) sternum and L1 fruckin'worsen. Drop zometa. ADD Xgeva. Doc says get rads consultant for L1 and possible biopsy of L1. I say, no thanks, doc. Lets see what xgeva brings to the table first. It's summer.
June-August 2013HAPX Herceptin Avastin Perjeta xgeva.
Sept - now - on chemo hold for calming tummy we hope. Markers stable for 2 months.
Nov 2013 - Herceptin-Perjeta-Avastin-Xgeva (collageneous colitis, which explains tummy probs, added Entocort)
December '13 BRAIN MRI ned in da head.
Jan 2014: CONTINUING on HAPX…
FEB 2014 PetCT clinical “impression”: 1. newbie nodule - SUV 1.5 right apical nodule, mildly hypermetabolic “suggestive” of worsening neoplastic lesion. 2. moderate worsening of the sternum – SUV 5.6 from 3.8
3. increasing sclerosis & decreasing activity of L1 met “suggests” mild healing. (SUV 9.4 v 12.1 in May ‘13)
4. scattered lung nodules, up to 5mm in size = stable, no increased activity
5. other small scattered sclerotic lesions, one in right iliac and one in thoracic vertebral body similar in appearance to L1 without PET activity and not clearly pathologic
APRIL 2014 - 6 YRS POST GAMMA ZAP, 7 YRS MBC & 18 YEARS FROM ORIGINAL DX!
October 2014: hold avastin, continue HPX
Feb 2015 Cancer you lost. NEDHEAD 7 years post gamma zap miracle, 8 years ST4, +19 yrs original diagnosis.
Continue HPX. Adding back Avastin
Nov 2015 pet/ct is mixed result. L1 SUV is worse. Continue Herceptin/avastin/xgeva. Might revisit Perjeta for L1. Meantime going for rads consult for L1
December 2015 - brain stable. Continue Herceptin, Perjeta, Avastin and xgeva.
Jan 2016: 5 days, 20 grays, Rads to L1 and continue on HAPX. I’m trying to "save" TDM1 for next line. Hope the rads work to quiet L1. Sciatic pain extraordinaire :((
Markers drop post rads.
2/24/16 HAP plus X - markers are down
SCIATIC PAIN DEAL BREAKER.
3/23/16 Laminectomy w/coflex implant L4/5. NO MORE SCIATIC PAIN!!! Healing.
APRIL 2016 - 9 YRS MBC
July 2016 - continue HAP plus Xgeva.
DEC 2016 - PETCT: mets to sternum, lungs, L1 still about the same in size and PET activity. Markers not bad. Not making changes if I don't need to. Herceptin/Perjeta/Avastin/Xgeva
APRIL 2017 10 YEARS MBC
December 2017 - Progression - gonna switch it up
FEB 2018 - Kadcyla 3 cycles ---->progression :(
MAY30th - bronchoscopy, w/foundation1 - her2 enriched
Aug 27, 2018 - start clinical trial ZW25
JAN 2019 - ZW25 seems to be keeping me stable
APRIL 2019 - ONE DOZEN YEARS LIVING METASTATIC
MAY 2019 - progression back on herceptin add xeloda
JUNE 2019 - "6 mos average survival" LMD & CNS new single brain met - one zap during 5 days true beam SBRT to cord met
10/30/19 - stable brain and cord. progression lungs and bones. washing out. applying for ds8201a w nivolumab. hope they take me.
12/27/19 - begin ds8401a w nivolumab. after 2nd cycle nodes melt away. after 3rd cycle chest scan shows Improvement, brain MRI shows improvement, resolved areas & nothing new. switch to plain ENHERTU. after 4th cycle, PETscan shows mostly resolved or improved results. Markers near normal. I'm stunned but grateful.
10/26/20 - June 2021 Tucatinib/xeloda/herceptin - stable ish.
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Old 05-16-2007, 01:55 PM   #8
IRENE FROM TAMPA
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Posts: 568
Smile Wow - I Thought I Was Alone On This Issue

I cant remember what that word even means - sad isnt it. With everything else we have to endure, now our PLEASURE is gone too.

I was beginning to think I was the only one going through this. Thank God for patient husbands. WOW

I did not know about passing the chemo on though. That is a very interesting thing to know. Is there anyway else to "contaminate our partners"??

Wow what a conversation huh....
__________________
Irene from Tampa
1996 - INFILT DUCTAL CAR.W/ LYMPH NODE INVOLVEMENT. ADRIA/CYTOXIN/5FU
1999 - RECURR. TO AUXILA AND 2 TUMORS IN LIVER
TREAT: STEM CELL REPLACEMENT/HERCEPTIN.
2002 - RECUR TO LIVER
TREAT: NAVELBINE, THEN GEMZAR, THEN XELODA.
2004 - TUMORS STILL IN LIVER
TREAT: RFA TO LIVER
STABLE UNTIL
2004 - TUMOR PROGRESSION IN LIVER.
TREAT: RESECT HALF OF LIVER.
2005 - RECURR TO LYMPH NODE OUTSIDE OF LIVER.
TREAT: TAXOL/CARPO/HERCEPTIN. FAILED ON
THIS TRIO. STARTED ON ABRAXANE.
2006 - PROGRESS WITH 2ND TUMOR GROWTH.
TREAT: AUG. BEGAN ON TYKERB/XELODA
TRIAL. CONSIDERED STABLE TO DATE.
2007 - TAKEN OFF OF TYKERB/XELODA TRIAL DUE TO
PROGRESS STARTING TYKERB/AVASTIN.
NOV 2007 - SCANS SHOW PROGRESS TUMOR GROWTH
IN ABDOM. AND TWO NEW TUMORS IN NECK AREA.
BEGAN HERCEPTIN/AVASTIN/TAXOTERE
Feb 08 - Ixempra/Xeloda
June 08 - Her/DM1 trial

"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY."
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