Anybody have any jokes they can share?

[Paula O]

“The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also, pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. “Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off. I’ve got the toe clippers right here.”
—Jerry Seinfeld