again with the blues

[jag]

Joy -i Understand What You Are Saying...there Is A Lot Of Whys-what Ifs And Will They Questions...i Do Not Have Any Answers ...but All One Can Do Is Take One Day At A Time....easy To Be Said...but All One Can Do...maybe They Will Find A Cure....maybe You Will Meet Your Grand Kids ....try To Enjoy Each Day....dont Lose The Good Days Now When You Feel Ok....as It Says In The Bible Tomorrow Is Promised To No One......all We Have Is Today....bless You Joy...and I Hope And Pray God Watches Over You....and Heals You ...and Blesses You With A Long And Happy Life...i Hope I Said This In The Way I Meant...take Care Joy....

[Jean]

Dear Joy,

When I was first dx. I was feeling really frightened and very much alone.
I had one of my close friends tell me - she could get hit by a bus tomorrow
and yet in my mind I answered with - "well I can see the bus and the license plates on it"...I believe each one of us is worried and frightened at different
times - this cancer is like a hellish roller coaster. There is no easy answer
to reslove the emotions we endure.

I don't think stage even matters - all of the woman worry about this
disease. Our state of mind is so very important (the mind helps the body)
I am not saying that we will heal ourselves through our mind, rather I
believe we help or assist our bodies immune system to flourish and fight back.

I try not to have the cancer define me and take over my days to the point
that I can not function (which can easily happen). I also find it helps to
think of all the women that are surviving and doing well. (And you can and
will too)!

What helps me is to look around me and I see many who are less fortunate.
The world is full of bad things happening to good people. (Just recently the
nightmare at Virgina Tech.) We never know what tomorrow will bring
and it just might be a cure. I say to myself daily I can beat this and most
important I remember that I am not alone, I have my sisters on this
board to help me when I need it. Every day is a gift, please Joy don't
waste a day in fear - enjoy each day and live it.

Hope you feel better - sending you many hugs!
Jean

[tousled1]

Joy,

I feel your pain. Perhaps the upcoming scans is what is making you feel so down right now. I know that when I have scans scheduled that's when I'm at my worst emotionally. I'm praying that your scans will be okay and you won't have to make any decisions about treatment.

[Hopeful]

Joy,

I am so sorry you are going through a rough patch with your treatment now. So much of bc is mental; it is not enough that our bodies bear the brunt of this disease, but our hearts and minds suffer even more. So many times I have read your posts and felt your light shinning off the screen and bathing me in its glow. But even our sun doesn't shine brightly every day. Every now and then, a cloud crosses its face, only to have it re-emerge and shine even brighter. This is how I think of you. I have no answers for you (none of us does, but you know that), just whatever positive energy I can send your way. You give so much to us all - I'm glad you let us know you can use some to come back to you. You are in my thoughts.

Best of luck to you with your scans.

Hopeful

[Soccermom]

Dear Joy,
I wish that i could wave a magic wand and make "IT" all go away! I'll send healing thoughts and vibes your way and as Hopeful said , the sun will shine again for you soon.
I have my scans next week too, on Wednesday the 25th, and am feeling anxious too. The folks I work with just don't "get it" and keep nagging me to put on my happy face. Survivors are entitled to feel whatever they feel, when they feel it ( we have earned it) !

Big ginornous hugs,Marcia

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Dear Joy,

I was so touched my your posting. We've all been exactly where you are. Cancer, I've learned, is all about FEAR. Conquer the fear, the worries, the "what ifs" and you rid your body of toxicity that will hamper your immune system and make you feel mierable. I've learned (since '95, and again in '98, and all the days inbetween and since) that I must refuse to allow thoughts full of poison to ravage my body and my life. So, not to get sappy, but I have learned, through meditation, and reading wonderfully inspiring books I now call Spiritual, that WHAT YOU FOCUS ON ALL DAY WILL CALL YOUR "DESIRED" OUTCOME TO YOU. I live with an open heart, becoming a vessel if you will to receive pure, unconditional Universal Love. It fills me up and radiates from me, as it overflows. I give it to every one I meet. I believe in the mind/body connection and instruct my body daily -- NO MORE CANCER. I WANT TO LIVE WELL AND HEALTHY. I KNOW that I have the personal EMPOWERMENT to draw what I want to me. The ENERGY I send out is sensed, and responded to IN KIND, by the Universe. My loving Energy is matched and returned to me, like a boomerang. I live AS IF what I want already exists. It does. Out there in the stratosphere. I am a living magnetic field. I draw HEALTH AND WELLNESS to me, calling out to it, commanding my body to get it's act together and start functioning properly. To kick start my immune system. I command myself to live! I envision myself far into the future, surrounded by family, glowing and happy. I see this in vivid details. I thank God every single day for my good fortune. For my blessings. I give of myself, serving great purpose, helping others and reminding God of the many good reasons I need to remain alive. Love, Gratitude, Joy, Serenity, Laughter, Compassion take over, alter your body chemistry and keep you in Harmony. Friends look at me and say, You have breast cancer and look at you. What am I looking at? You look so -- happy and peaceful!! That is what I wish for you, Joy. And for all you great ladies out there fighting for your lives. Sending, loving, healing Energy...ANDREA

[tricia keegan]

Joy I'm sorry you're having a sad day,I think we all get them no matter how positive we are in general. I'm stage 2 but understand and have those days myself,but in my case it's usually when will the stage iv come...how many years will I have after that? Maybe I'll die within weeks?? It's all negative thinking but we can't help ourselves and I think it comes with the disease!
In truth we have to go right down in order to come up smiling and hopeful again and I have no doubt you will.
In the meantime I'm sending you lots of good healing vibes and a few cyber hugs thrown in!!
Hang in there..tomorrow will be better.