Waiting on Trial, got Brain Mets...

[julierene]

I sure hope so! At times, I just feel like I was supposed to be the smart one and chosen my mate well. He fooled me in every sense of the imagination, and took away my ability to think of him in any other way than - VILE. Every time I have to almost be around him, I physically get almost vomit sick. Once, I actually pulled over and thought I would hurl everywhere.

Then I think about all the things he did to make me do everything, and how he was always so lazy and worthless. I feel so overwhelmed with upset with myself for being deceived for so many years. It didn't do me any good to not see through him. Ignorance is not bliss.

I know my rants right now, and aside from my health issues. But coming to terms with some of these things seems just so tied-in at times. I just wish that at some point, he will see that what he did to me was unforgivable and that he will never be happy with himself again. But I see that he is the one who finds happiness, and I am the one who has been left with all the garbage. He dumped his crap on me, and I feel so covered in filth.