Can't make sense of this-

tricia keegan · 01-04-2007, 09:16 AM

I have a friend I met through another message board and we along with a few other's dx together began our own little support group and e mailed each other through all our treatments.
We were all early stage but right before Christmas she told us there was a spread of the cancer and they had found two spots on her liver but she was as determined as the first time to fight this.
She's triple negative so no herceptin unfortunatly.
Yesterday we received an e mail from her co worker informing us my friend had passed on a few days earlier!
You can imagine our shock,it seems the cancer spread from her liver and through her whole body but this was only within a fortnight..
Does anyone know if that can happen?
I thought cancer took a long time even with liver mets.
I'm just very down,sad and trying to make some sense of this today.
I just can't believe it could have killed her so quickly,she was only 41

Tricia

Sherryg683 · 01-04-2007, 11:32 AM

I would think that there had to have been more than just two liver spots to begin with. Maybe she didn't want to tell you everything to keep you from getting down or worrying...sherryg683

Becky · 01-04-2007, 01:22 PM

Maybe her disease was more aggressive than anyone thought. JudieK (one of our members who passed away a couple of months ago) was triple negative. She just loved our site and help so she was a member. When she passed away, we were all in shock too because none of us were aware things went south so quickly for her. So... I guess with some who are triple negative, it might go fast if they get mets.

I am very sorry about your friend.

Audrey · 01-04-2007, 02:30 PM

Tricia, so sorry about the sudden loss of your friend. For what it's worth, I knew two women in their forties with bc mets to the liver--they were on the same treatment and doing well, then the treatment stopped working for one of them and she passed away quickly after that--it really scared my other friend, but she is still stable and doing fine, two years later. Anyway, we spent many hours wondering WHY? why did the treatment stop working? Why did her health fail so quickly? At the time we were diagnosed, my prognosis was much worse than hers because I was Her2+, but fortunately I got Herceptin and am still here 5 years later. She was er+/her2-, but she is gone...I still don't get it either--people say things like "I guess her purpose here on earth was complete" but she left a 9-year-old daughter... Sorry I don't have any answers for you, just wanted to express my sympathy at your loss.

Joy · 01-04-2007, 03:26 PM

I'm so sorry for the loss, Tricia. I mean really, sorry. Cancer doesn't make sense. In many ways it is not a disease of logic-which is why we haven't found a cure. Although recent advances have begun to reveal more about how it works and that is good, but often, sadly, not good enough, huh?

Remember how many of us there ARE who have lived a long time with liver mets (I'm 5-7 years out from liver mets-a little question as to when they actually started) and have great quality of life. There are many others. But I also know none of that makes a bit of difference to someone who has lost someone. take your time grieving and take care of yourself.

tricia keegan · 01-04-2007, 03:51 PM

Thank you all for replying,I think I just needed to write it down and express my frustration today,and Sherry some of her other friends and I did suspect she may have known for longer but did'nt want to scare or worry us.
Joy and Audrey it's wonderful you both are doing so well and you're an inspiration to us all here.
Becky thank you too,I do remember JudieK but did'nt know her although I'd seen her name on bcsupport,I think it's just the suddeness shakes you up so much when this happens.
I suppose we're all trying to find a reason but there is'nt one.
I pray the day will come when we have a cure and no other young lives will be taken by this disease.
Thank you al again for listening.

VaMoonRise · 01-04-2007, 05:57 PM

Tricia,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Anytime I hear about someone passing away from cancer it just rips my heart out, whether I knew them or not. This disease is so horribly heart breaking and life altering. Losing a loved one is the hardest thing in life, no matter how you lose them.

There is hope though, there are so many women on this site who can attest to that.

I really don't know what to say, I just wish for you lots of comfort, love and hugs.

Love,
Nicola

Catherine · 01-04-2007, 10:03 PM

Dear Tricia,
I am very sorry about your friend. We all do the best we can to fight this disease and support one another. I really enjoy coming to this site at the end of the day. It makes me sad to read sad news. And happy to read good news.
I am sorry for your loss and the family's loss. I wish more of this made sense.

All the best, Catherine in Oregon

tricia keegan · 01-05-2007, 05:00 AM

I just found out more and it seems after the first chemo my friend picked up an infection and with a very low white cell count just could'nt fight it.

It does'nt change what happened of course but she did'nt suffer in any way which I take great comfort from.
Thank you for caring.
Tricia

Sheila · 01-05-2007, 05:43 AM

Tricia
It is possible that her body was overwhelmed by the infection without white cells to fight it....I am so sorry for your loss...I have a dear friend going through the same thing...this illness seems to take its toll at the first sign of weakness....at least your friend didn't suffer. Take care of yourself, be strong and know that your friend is in a better place watching over you.

Adriana Mangus · 01-05-2007, 02:33 PM

Dear Tricia: Nothing makes sense when it comes to losing a loved one. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe she did not know how bad her disease really was. Me too had a friend who passed away at the young age of 49, with two beautiful daughters, 19 and 17. Her disease progressed so quickly her husband was in denial for a long time after her passing....God Bless You..