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Old 09-25-2013, 10:49 AM   #21
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Dearest Amanda,

I so admire you. You have been doing everything right. You've read books that inspire and elevate you. You are never bitter or angry or unforgiving; in fact you seem full of Love!

That you have always KNOWN you would get better thrills me. As you understand, what we KNOW, comes to be. For good or bad.

You've been determined, strong and brave. You've tried alternative approaches. Spiritual healers and metaphysical counselors have failed. Yet there are still others who might succeed I think. (I do know that Dr. Gaynor, my nutritional oncologist who I like to call my nut onc has taken women who have been given up on by all others, who have said the best place for them is hospice, and he has turned them around. The supplements are magic to me. His recipes are remarkable. I also understand NYC may not be feasible for you, nor the costs involved, though saving your life is a priceless thing, not only for you, but for you loved ones, your darling son...)

YOU'VE SWUM OCEAN RACES?!!!!!!! YOU ARE CLEARLY ONE AMAZING SUPER SPECIAL SUPER MIRACLE IN THE MAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your post's words about what the doctor said covered me in goose bumps. I stroked my arm with my other hand, so deeply touched by such foul utterings. I've heard this before. Not personally, but beloved friends have been told this. One actually said, the doc put his forehead down on his desk as he delivered the news.

I absolutely love that you do believe thoughts have an impact and that you will not give up your KNOWING until your dying breath. I thoroughly concur. I could never let go of my Knowings.

But, I, we all, want more than a wonderful 41 years for you. It is so not enough!

Richard Bloch (of H & R Bloch) had 4th stage lung cancer, many yrs ago, when everyone was dead within 1 yr w/lung ca. His doctors told him to get his affairs in order. There was nothing more they could do for him.

Dick opted out. He simply refused to give up. He sought more docs. He went on yet another chemo regimen. In his words, he used his stubborn tenacity and will to live, along with the love of his wife and for his wife -- to struggle on ANYWAY.
Dick consciously chose to alter his destiny. With LOVE, with a determined mind. I recall reading his words, IF ONE PERSON HAS SURVIVED THE TYPE OF CANCER YOU HAVE -- SO CAN YOU! I held on to that as I fought my battles. His words just resonated with me on the deepest of levels.

His words helped strengthen my resolve remarkably!




Dick lived another 26 years!

He and his wife Annette wrote CANCER...THERE'S HOPE. There is a tollfree # that I called (at someone's suggestion 100 years ago) where I received a copy of this book for free.

I just called that # in your behalf, Amanda, to be certain this was still a possibility. Richard Bloch. I was told that in fact Dick wrote 3 books. They are sending me all 3 today. And if you will email me your address -- I will send them on to you, full of hope and promise, prayers and hugs, and much much love... AndiBB@aol.com

There's a site -- www.blochcancer.org

This is Dick's legacy. Long beyond his passing on to the spiritual realm, he is reaching out to you, and all like you, like him.


I AM NOT GIVING UP ON YOU, AMANDA. I WOULD NEVER. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, SO FULL OF BELIEF AND LOVE AND RESOLVE AND REASONS TO SURVIVE AND THRIVE ARE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR TURNING THINGS AROUND, EVEN NOW!

I BELIEVE IN YOU. WITH ALL MY HEART.


Please, please keep us all posted on YOU. We are all holding you up and we won't let go!

LOVE,


Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 09-25-2013, 02:47 PM   #22
dawny
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Amanda, I don't know what to say words evade me too. This is so unfair, you are one of the my knowledeable women, you are up to date on all chemo, therapies, meditation, you are trying it all in your will to see your sons wedding.
My heart is breaking for you
Dawn xxx
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Dx May 27 2011, age 43
Stage 1V 3.6cm breast lump, spot on lungs, nodes chest + neck
HER2+ ER/PR-
Abraxane weekly - 16 weeks
Herceptin every third week
September 26 2011 N.E.D!
Herceptin ongoing
8th Dec 2011 Brain MRI - clear
20th Dec 2011 bone/cat scan clear still NED
April 2012 scans show axillary node lump - ? what to do...
June 2012 Axillary node dissection 1/11 nodes affected, a wide local excision shows DCIS. Now what to do again? Watch and scan 3 monthly
April 2013, two spots in nodes to chest wall, start TDM1 (Kadcycla) as part of clinical trial
July 2013 stable
Oct 2013 progression off TDM-1 (Kadcycla)
Nov 2013 radiation to lymph nodes in sternum
Dec 2013. Mastectomy right side, pathology shows tumour was HER-2 negative, no wonder TDM-1 (Kadcycla) didn’t work!
April 2014 NED. On Herceptin only
August 2014 NED. On Herceptin only
March 2015. NED. On Herceptin only
September 2015 NED on Herceptin only
March 2016. Pulmonary embolism, Clexane injections daily forever. Still NED On Herceptin only
Nov 2016. Bone Mets in ribs - Radiation. Don’t know if bone Mets are er-/pr-/HER2+ or triple negative.
Can’t give self injections on to tablets (Xarelto) for blood clots.
2017 NED - On Herceptin only
2018 NED - On Herceptin only
2019 NED - On Herceptin only
2020 NED - On Herceptin only
2021 NED - On Herceptin only
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:55 PM   #23
KDR
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Amanda,
I just want to cry and probably will. You know how I feel. I am willing you out of this, dear friend.
Love
Karen
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World Trade Center Survivor (56th Floor/North Tower): 14 years and still just like yesterday.
Graves Disease, became Euthyroid via Radioactive Iodine, June 2001.
Thyroid Eye Disease. 2003. Decompression surgery in 2009; eyelid lowering surgery in 2010.
Diagnosed: June 2010, liver mets. ER-/PR+10%; HER2+++.
July 2010: Begin Taxol/Herceptin. Eliminate sugar from diet. No surgery or radiation.
January 2011: NED
April 2011: Progression in liver only. Other previous affected areas eradicated. Stop Taxol/Herceptin after 32 infusions.
May 2011: Brain MRI: clear.
May 2011: Begin Tykerb daily, Xeloda twice per day for one week on, one week off, and Herceptin.
November 2011: Progression in liver. All other tumors remain eradicated.
December 2011: BEGIN TRIAL #09-093 Taxol, MCC-DM1 (T-DM1), Perjeta.
Trial requires scans every six weeks, bloodwork and infusions weekly.
Brain MRI: clear.
January 2012: NED. Liver mets, good riddance!
March 2012: NED. Developed SMA (rare blood clot) in intestinal artery and loss of sight in right eye due to optical nerve neuropathy. Resolved when Taxol removed this month.
Continue Protocol of T-DM1 weekly and Perjeta every 3 weeks.
May 2012: NED.
June 2012: Brain MRI: clear.
June-December 2012: NED.
December 2012: TRIAL CONCLUDED; ENTER TRIAL EXTENSION #09-037. CT, Brain MRI, bone scan: clear. NED.
January-March 2013: NED.
June 2013: Brain MRI: clear. CEA upticking; CT shows new met on liver.
July 3, 2013: DISASTER STRIKES during liver ablation: sloppy surgeon cuts intercostal artery and I bleed out, lose 3.5 liters of blood, have major hemothorax, and collapsed lung requiring emergency resuscitative thoracotomy, lung surgery, rib rearrangement and cutting deep connective tissue, transfusion. Ablation incomplete. This life-saving procedure would end up causing me unforgiving pain with every movement I make, permanently, otherwise known as forever.
July 26, 2013: Try Navelbine/Herceptin. Body too weak after surgery and transfusion. Fever. CEA: Normal.
August 16, 2016: second dose Navelbine/Herceptin; CEA: Normal. Will skip doses. Watching and waiting.
September 2013: NED, Herceptin only. CEA: Normal. Started Arimidex.
October-November 2013: NED. Herceptin and Arimidex. CEA, CA125, 15-3: Normal.
December 2013: Something brewing. PET lights up on little spot on liver; CEA upward trend, just outside normal. PET and triphasic liver scan confirm Little Met. Restart Perjeta with Herceptin, stay on Arimidex. Genomic sequencing completed for future treatments, if necessary.
January 2014: Ablate Little Met on the 6th. Happy New Year.
March 2014: Brain MRI: clear. PET/CT reveal liver mets return; new lung mets. This is not funny.
March 2014: BEGIN TRIAL #10-005 A(11)-Temsirolimus plus Neratinib.
April 2014: Genomic testing indicated they could work, they did not. Very strange drug combo for me, felt weird.
April 2014: Started Navelbine and Herceptin. Needed something tried and true, but had significant progression.
June 2014: Doxil and Herceptin.
July 2014: Progression. Got nothing out of it. Brain: NED.
July 2014: Add integrative medical hematologist-oncologist to my team. Begin supplements. These are tumor-busting, immune system boosters. Add glutathione, lysine and taurine IV infusions every three weeks.
July 2014: Begin Gemzar, Herceptin & Perjeta. Happy.
August 2014: ECHO perfect.
January 2015: Begin weekly Vitamin D Analog infusions. 25 mcg. via port.
February 2015: CT: stable.
April 2015: Gem working, but not 100%. Looking into immunotherapy. Finally, treatments for the 21st century!
April 2015: Penn Medicine. Dendritic cell immunotherapy.
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Old 10-05-2013, 03:55 PM   #24
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

My package and my love have been sent to Amanda, full of inspiration I pray.

I believe in you, Amanda. You are a wise and wonderful woman who will dig deep and live your desired dream, drawing it ever closer to you! I have faith in your power!

Hugs,

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 10-07-2013, 01:13 PM   #25
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

I keep reading Neville and his words are mine. Recent medical issues have shaken me, made me feel vulnerable and fragile, shaken and distressed. Neville's words are reminding me of what I knew I knew.

So, I am sharing as this is so fundamentally important to you finding your joy and serenity along with your dreams come true!

I got lost there for a while. I misplaced my concept of myself. We are so much more empowered than we ever dared to dream!

Don't think of your dream. Become your dream. Live as if your dream were already a reality. Despite the pain, the weakness, the difficulty breathing. STOP BELIEVING IN THAT STORY THAT APPEARS TO BE PRESENTING ITSELF! See the Self beyond the self that is diminished. Feel smilingly confident. Transform your consciousness of your Self and you will transform your fate.

Identify with the hero in your dream! THINK FROM THE IDEAL VS. THINKING OF THE IDEAL!

What you want already exists. It is your task to draw it to yourself. Don't be a slave to your common sense assumptions. Master them! With intensity and force of thoughts and images. Be persistent. Throughout the day think and see all the details of your dream, feel how you would feel precisely what you would feel if dream were your reality. Let that marinate!

Live in a sublime Spirit. Hold fast your unwavering assumption of your wish having already been fulfilled. For it is certain, if you do this. Your fixed assumptions are predestined to be fulfilled!

Soon you will completely realize your dream. Be confident. Joyful and serene. Let go of all evidence of your senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire! Refuse to believe in that story! It is your fear, not your wish.

You already are what you want to be. Master your assumptions, master your life. Let the unseen become seen. Notice the power of your assumptions to change circumstances which appear wholly immutable! Determine the nature of the world in which you live by your consciously chosen assumptions and tenacious endeavors to experience them. Assume the wish fulfilled. Claim it.

Every moment you are assuming a feeling. It is unavoidable. All you can do is control the nature of your assumptions. This control is the key you now hold to an ever expanding, happier, more noble life, which you richly deserve.

With Love and Light,

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 10-07-2013, 10:00 PM   #26
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Andi,

Thank you for sharing the visualization techniques. I know how important it is to stay focused and keep the positive thoughts and affirmations going.

Amanda, my heart goes out to you. I can relate as I've been told by my accupuncturist that the mind creates and can control the cancer. I've been dealing with my diagnosis since 2008 and have been through approx 6 different chemo treatments and I'm torn at times because I feel like I am staying positive and doing what I'm supposed to do and yet this disease keeps hacking away at my body. I wish I had the answers but they elude me too... Your words touched me deeply and I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you can find another option. This disease has taken too many beautiful women from this earth far too soon...
Standing with you in spirit,
Debbie
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Old 10-09-2013, 12:40 PM   #27
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Have to share this clarity! 28 year old man not expected to live. Rare heart disease. Disintegration of the organ. Long and costly medical care had been of no avail. Doctors held out no hope for recovery. Confined to his bed, his body had shrunk to almost a skeleton and he could talk and breathe only with great difficulty.

My newfound love/writer/speaker Neville writes THERE IS ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO ANY PROBLEM.

CHANGE OF ATTITUDE.

The Law of Consciousness -- consciousness being the ONLY REALITY -- means the only way to change any condition to to change your state of consciousness concerning the matter.

Assume the feeling of already being well. In IMAGINATION, see the doctor's face expressing incredulous amazement in finding you recovered, contrary to all reason, from the last stages of an incurable disease.

See your doc double checking his examination and hear him saying over and over, IT'S A MIRACLE. IT'S A MIRACLE!

Believe this scene will take place implicitly! Faithfully follow the imaging and actual feelings you will experience when this scenario occurs repeatedly throughout each day.

The 28 yr old man did this and within several mnths had made a miraculous recovery. He was in perfect health, actively engaged in business and thoroughly enjoying the many social activities of his friends and family.

He had absolutely no doubt, upon meeting Neville mnths before, that this process would work! Day after day he lived completely IN the assumption of already being well and strong. He BELIEVED faithfully!

4 yrs later, he remained convinced that his recovery was due to his successful use of the Law of Assumption.

Not working for you??? Though you faithfully apply it in an effort to attain your intense desire??

Neville asks, Do you feel the NATURALNESS of your feeling of already being what you want to be -- of already having what you desire???

If it does not feel NATURAL to you, that could be what is blocking your realization and manifestation of your desires. It is difficult to transcend from your present condition to the state desired. The secret lies in one word -- IMAGINATION.

Assume that you are securely chained to a large heavy iron bench. You could not possibly run, in fact you could not even walk. It would not be NATURAL for you to run. You could not even FEEL that it was NATURAL for you to run.

BUT you could easily IMAGINE yourself running. While your consciousness is filled with your IMAGINED running, you have forgotten that you are BOUND! In IMAGINATION your running was completely NATURAL!

The essential feeling of NATURALNESS can be achieved by persistently filling your consciousness with IMAGINATION -- imagining yourself being what you want to be.

Progress springs from your Imagination, from your desire to TRANSCEND your present circumstances! With your Imagination ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Changes are not caused by caprice, but a CHANGE OF CONSCIOUSNESS (the only true reality)!

Achieve and sustain the particular state of consciousness necessary, KNOW that consciousness is the only reality, and that it is the sole creator of your particular world and have that Truth burnt into your whole being! KNOW that success or failure is holding a disciplined Assumption and persisting in it. KNOWING it will harden into fact.

The certainty of the truth of this Law must remain despite great disappointment and even crises, even when you feel the light of life going out of you!

You must NOT believe that because your assumption failed to materialize, the truth that Assumptions do materialize is not a lie. Even if your Assumptions are not fulfilled. Still, your Assumptions can be attained by feeling that you ALREADY ARE the person you want to be.

The time it takes your Assumption to become reality is PROPORTIONATE TO THE "NATURALNESS" OF BEING IT.

You, and all of us, have this power! Build your dream. 'Conform your life to the pure idea in your mind, and it will unfold its great proportion.' (Emerson)

A MIRACLE IS THE NAME GIVEN, BY THOSE WHO HAVE NO FAITH, TO THE WORKS OF FAITH!

FAITH IS THE SUBSTANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR, THE EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN.

SO IT IS WRITTEN...

HAVE FAITH. BELIEVE... with all your heart. And with your Imagination...
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 10-14-2013, 11:51 AM   #28
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

I was just utterly shocked to learn of Amanda's passing. I posted in the thread about Mandamoo. Not believing my eyes! We had just e'd on the 7th!

For those who wish to send a condolence card to her beloved family:

AMANDA RYNNE
6 Killarra Avenue
Camberwell
Victoria 2124
AUSTRALIA

Heaven knows when my package to her will make it's way from our shores to down under. I sent her a beautiful card along with some inspirational reading material. She was open to it all. A woman full of love and grace, gratitude and determination.

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 10-16-2013, 10:08 AM   #29
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

I, just as all of us, am deeply shocked and saddened by the loss of Amanda to this world. Yet another Sister gone far too soon, far too quickly.

I know she was a BELIEVER, from her posts and our e's. She was trying to figure out what she was doing wrong, as she was doing everything right, including various forms of integrative therapies, meditation and knowing what must be done psychologically and metaphysically.

I struggled to help. I believed in her, as a woman of great knowledge and enormous kindness and caring, I truly felt we could navigate through her end stage to miraculous survival. She kept asking, What am I doing wrong?

So many have asked that, and I've truly pondered what I could offer. My recent discovery of Neville's books and his way of explaining what I've tried to convey for well over a decade, has shed new light on what I have KNOWN. So I am of course sharing this with you all.

I have often expressed the importance of our consciousness. Neville speaks of THE SUBCONSCIOUS as it is that which expresses all that is impressed on it. The Subconscious accepts as true ideas that the Conscious mind judges and predicts based on knowledge and reason.

We can control our Subconscious by feeding it our dreams and visions -- despite what our senses tell us is the reality of a situation. We can control our thoughts and it is our thoughts that preclude our emotions!

The Subconscious transcends reason. It sees a feelings as a fact existing and proceeds to give expression to it. IT'S ALL ABOUT OUR FEELINGS. And they emanate from our thoughts, which are or CAN be within our power to alter.

It's natural to feel frightened by the awful physical symptoms we each experience from our cancer, from the chemo. It is understandable that we see so many, far too many, others metastasizing and becoming overcome with their physical weakness and their sense of doom and failure -- and we therefore identify with those feelings which in turn make us shake in our boots.

I admire you all for the immense courage and determination, even humor midst crises, you possess. I marvel at your strength and wit and willingness to endure and learn and seek! But of course, the thoughts that come along with all those realities are counterproductive, and downright detrimental to our health!

So somehow we must put aside our grief and our overwhelming fear of all that we are undergoing physically. Our mourning is yet another obstacle to our wellness. We must persevere despite it. Not repress our feelings, surely we must experience them and allow them to vent. That's part of what this site is for. Because who but others just like us can begin to conceive of what it is like to be us??!!

By controlling our thoughts I do not mean that you must restrain or suppress your sorrow and fear but rather to become emboldened to discipline yourself to image and stubbornly entertain only such feelings as contribute to our happiness, despite it all! It is truly what each of us would wish for the other were we the one who succumbed.

We mustn't dwell on the imperfection of ourselves or our situation! To do so is to impress the Subconscious with LIMITATIONS.

Every feeling makes a subconscious impression. And will come to be expressed.

I am healthy is a stronger feeling than I will be healthy.

To feel I will be is to confess I am not.

I am is stronger than I am not.

What you feel you are always dominates what you feel you would like to be. The wish must be felt as a state that is -- rather than a state that is not. This is why HOPE is too weak an energy. Claiming certainty is no easy feat, I totally get that, yet, it is doable.

SENSATION PRECEDES MANIFESTATION. So be careful of your moods and feelings. There's an unbroken connection between your feelings and your visible world.

Your body is an emotional filter and bears the unmistakable marks of your prevalent emotions. Emotional disturbances, especially suppressed emotions, are the causes of all disease!

So we must VOICE our feelings, as we do here, venting, sharing, expressing our feelings and disappointments. But we must surge through our sense of regret and failure! And focus instead on the victory we foresee for ourselves and the feelings that would coincide with such a reality. THAT is where all your concentration must go. Because THAT, those thoughts (in vivid detail) and the emotions of such a truth will in fact create your dream! With the power of your Subconscious which will transform your feelings of your truth into manifestation!

A change of feelings is a change of destiny. The Subconscious doesn't care about the truth or falsity of your feelings. It always accepts as true that which you feel to be true!

That which is declared to be true is always possible. The subconscious makes the impossible -- impossible.

What your mind can conceive and feel as true, the Subconscious can and must objectify. It is a Universal Law!

If you're feeling down, change the pattern of your feelings. Consciously think what it is you wish and FEEL exactly how you will feel were it to be come true. KNOW that you are in fact drawing what you want to you. IT ALREADY EXISTS. All you must do is call it to you with your FEELINGS.

LOVE AND LIGHT,
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 10-28-2013, 11:04 AM   #30
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Use your thoughts. Don't let your thoughts rule you.

We see our situation and we feel physically off and far worse. We sense this is a continuing pattern. We KNOW the statistics and they are scary. Fear is among our worst enemies!

The story we see isn't pretty but it is insistent. Despite what our senses and logic tells us, we have the power to --
THINK FROM THE END.

SEE YOURSELF AS THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE -- HAPPY, HEALTHY AND ENJOYING LIFE, like all the other normal people. See it in vivid detail. KNOW it. Become that person. NOW. Live as that person. NOW. FEEL exactly how you would feel having achieved your desired dream. BELIEVE in your ability to draw what you want to you. What would you do?

Dig your toes into the sand of a beach? Run in a field of wild flowers beside a pond under a gloriously blue and sunlit sky? Are your arms outstretched? Feeling the breeze you're creating along your arms? Are you glowing with joy? Laughing?

When our objective senses are partly suspended (in meditation for example) our subjective faculties become alert. Suggestions which appear powerless when presented directly to the objective consciousness are highly efficacious when you are in a relaxed state.

I've described my way of reaching a meditative state with SQUARE BREATHING. Gosh, it's somewhere among my posts...

Bold assertion awakens what you affirm. The thorough BELIEF in the truth of your mental assertion -- produces results. Have NO DOUBT that your subjective mind will transmit your fixed ideas. Go into controlled reverie mode. You are the artist. The creator.

Once you suggest something to the subjective mind it is under obligation to objectify that which you mentally affirm!

It is challenging to control the subconscious but it is doable by all of us. Imagination and faith are the secrets of creation...
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 11-03-2013, 11:15 AM   #31
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

WORDS, perspective, attitude make a world of difference.

Thanks to Rachael for sharing this with me. I love Bernie Siegel. This article has so many lessons to learn.

Deceiving People Into Health | Bernie Siegel M.D.

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 11-08-2013, 01:37 PM   #32
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

YES, I KNOW CHANGING THE FUTURE IS TRULY NOT SIMPLE. BUT...


Reading Neville and had to pass these Enlightenments on to you...

Normal consciousness is focused on the senses, and is usually restricted to them. We feel crappy. We must be crappy. We can see, sense, tell we are not in a good place.

But -- it is possible for us to pass through our SENSE FIXATION into an imaginal place which we have the power to conceive (AUTHOR, DIRECT, PRODUCE AND ACT within). We can fully occupy our imagined state of being and our imagined reality!

This is turn, in accordance with some as yet discovered and/or uncodified Law, somehow becomes more alive with an energy than what we perceive to be real, and is even more responsive to our mood and desire. We can occupy the mood were the desire to become real, thus making it become real.

We can override our senses which quite naturally "stay our eye" and distract us from our desired state of being.

"If this were not true, man would be an automaton REFLECTING life;, never AFFECTING it." Man, who is all Imagination is not tenant to the brain but landlord; he need not rest content with the appearance of things; he can go beyond perceptual to conceptual Awareness.

This ability, to pass through the mechanical reflective structure of the senses, is the most important discovery man can make!

It reveals man with the powers of INTERVENTION, which enable him to alter the course of observed events moving through a series of mental transformations in himself.

ATTENTION, the spearhead of Imaging, may be either attracted from without as his senses "stay his eye" or driven from within "if he pleases" and through the senses pass into the wish fulfilled.

To move from perceptual awareness, or things as they SEEM, to conceptual Awareness, or THINGS AS THEY OUGHT TO BE, we imagine as vivid and as life-like a representation as possible of what we would see, hear and do and FEEL were we physically present, and physically experiencing things as they ought to be. We must imaginatively PARTICIPATE in that scene...
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 12-05-2013, 12:53 PM   #33
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Consciousness is how I think of my Spirit, or soul. I read that THE WORLD IS MAN'S CONDITIONED CONSCIOUSNESS OBJECTIFIED.

That consciousness is the CAUSE as well as the SUBSTANCE of the entire world. The SECRET OF CREATION.

Consciousness is the one and only reality. Not figuratively but actually. There are two parts -- the conscious and the subconscious.

The conscious is personal and selective. The subconscious is impersonal and nonselective. THE CONSCIOUS IS THE REALM OF EFFECT; THE SUBCONSCIOUS IN THE REALM OF CAUSE. Male and female divisions of consciousness.

The conscious generates ideas and impresses these ideas on the subconscious. The subconscious receives ideas and gives form and expression to them.

The subconscious expresses all that is impressed upon it. It doesn't originate ideas but ACCEPTS AS TRUE THOSE WHICH THE CONSCIOUS MIND FEELS TO BE TRUE AND -- IN A WAY KNOWN ONLY TO ITSELF -- OBJECTIFIES THE ACCEPTED IDEAS.

Therefore, through our power to image and feel and our freedom of choice -- we can consciously choose to dream of a goal -- and feed the vision of it in detail, experience precisely how we will feel AS IF IT WERE NOW TRUE, hear words that others would say and how we would respond... We can occupy that space and alter Universal vibrations -- that, somehow, will bring our dream to us.

We needn't waste our time pondering how it will all come together. But, we must KNOW that it will somehow come to be! THE VIBRATORY EFFECTS OF SUBCONSCIOUS VIBRATIONS WITHIN YOU BECOME THE VIBRATORY CAUSE OF CORRESPONDING VIBRATION IN THE WORLD.

I know, it makes no sense, and yet it is just so. Test it yourself. I needn't present theories or evidence that will convince you any more than your own personal experience.

ASSUME THE FEELING OF YOUR WISH FULFILLED. For us, battling bodily dysfunction, we must not plan our funeral on the sidelines. Write letters to our children saying our goodbyes while hoping we will in fact survive. We can't realistically look for a suitable replacement for us when we are gone. All that is evidence that we do not truly believe in our wish becoming fulfilled.

The energy of the feelings awakened transforms itself into the state imagined.

My new pal Neville writes that if in 4 mnths the harvest will awaken in you a state of joy, then, inversely, the joy of harvest now will awaken the harvest now.

Now is the acceptable time to give beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise for the spirit of heaviness.

It is while laying in bed at night that we're most able to stand up to our conscious (reasonable, intellectual, realistic) mind. WEMUST BUILD IN DARKNESS. When our subconscious is most open to suggestion.

We know not the causes that determine our actions (as Spinoza said). But, this explanation of the power of feeling and therefore living AS IF what we want is already a reality -- brings about that reality is, though out there, surely provable. So try it yourself and see if you can show the world, and all of us, that it is doable.

Control of the subconscious is dominion over all. It's controlled through control of your BELIEFS -- the all-potent factor in the production of visible states.

IMAGINATION AND FAITH ARE THE SECRETS OF CREATION.

Living AS IF solidifies your dream, makes it manifest. Awaken the vibratory correlate.

For us, we must hold fast the pattern of healthful words in our heads. Oversee our thoughts and eject those that are full of negativity vigilantly. We must monitor our thoughts throughout the day. Keep our thoughts pure and full of clear Intention and vivid Expectation. We must see our lives as we wish it to be. And KNOW we are drawing it to us.

What we want ALREADY EXISTS. Call it to you.

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 12-08-2013, 01:58 PM   #34
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future


Please don't misunderstand. This ENLIGHTENMENT is incredibly simple. And, I am fully aware, it is NOT easy to attain. Yet, what you want is attainable, grasping the tenets of this amazing Lesson I have been blessed to stumble upon.

When you're a 4th stage cancer patient, especially with the HER2 gene, you are up against a mountain. Yet, with only this knowledge I am trying my best to transmit and share with you, you can achieve miraculous results for yourself... So please, read on...


CONTROL OF THE SUBCONSCIUS IS ACCOMPLISHED THROUGH CONTROL OF YOUR IDEAS AND FEELINGS.

In the depths of your subconscious lies its ability to transcend reason. It contemplates a feeling as face existing -- and acts on this assumption to express it.

The creative process begins with an idea, runs its course as a feeling and ends in a desire to act. IDEAS ARE IMPRESSED ON THE SUBCONSCIOUS THROUGH FEELINGS. BE AWARE AND BEWARE -- once felt -- for good or bad -- the idea must be expressed. tHOSE WHO CANNOT CONTROL THEIR FEELINGS MAY EASILY IMPRESS THE SUBCONSCIOUS WITH UNDESIRABLE STATES.

Control of feeling does not mean restraint or suppression! It's the disciplining of self to imagine entertain only those feelings as will contribute to your happiness!

Dwelling on your imperfections impresses your subconscious with limitations.

I am healthy is stronger than I will be healthy. Feeling I will is confessing I am not. What you feel you are always dominates what you feel you would like to be. Which is why THE WISH MUST BE FELT AS A STATE THAT IS vs a state that is not. SENSATION precedes manifestation.

I write or post here or tell those I know truly care about me the feelings I have so as to vent them and then discharge them. Focusing instead on HEALTHY AND WELL. NO MORE CANCER. Thinking I AM AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE.

To feel intensely about a wrong without voicing or expressing that feeling is the beginning of dis-ease.

Don't entertain the feelings of regret or failure. It will do you no good. And end badly. Focus instead on thinking feelingly only of the state you desire to realize. Feeling the reality of the state sough and living and acting on that conviction is the way of all seeming miracles.

A change of feeling is a change of destiny!

What you must acquire is a reflective control of the operation of the subconscious. Controlling your ideas and feelings.

The subconscious accepts as true that which you feel as true. You, by your feelings, determine what will manifest. To seek hopefully is too weak a signal. Generally a sense of KNOWING the worst is coming, based on what your senses and logic tell you, comes with hope. That seeking is in vain therefore. "To him that hath it is given".

Denying the evidence of your senses and appropriating the feeling of the wish fulfilled is the way to the realization of your desire.

Mastery of self-control of your thoughts and feelings is your highest achievement. In spite of appearance, feel all that you truly want to feel. Use the moments before sleep and prayer to aid you in realizing your desired states. These two gateways into the subconscious are key!



LOVE AND LIGHT,

Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 02-03-2014, 11:39 AM   #35
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future


YOU are the author of your life. YOU are the director, the producer and the star of your life. Write yourself a great script.

And keep imagining exactly what your greatest desires will look like. What it will feel like. What others will say to you. IT IS AMAZING! THE CANCER IS GONE! GOOD FOR YOU! I'M SO PROUD! Imagine each detail. And keep reliving it. Let the ideas percolate in your mind and fill your thoughts daily.

And KNOW that what you are saying will harden into BELIEF and in turn will miraculously manifest as your real story, despite what your senses, reason, statistics, the experts tell you. Stop being a realist. YOU ARE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR LIFE.

If you don't like your present situation, rewrite the script. In detail. And live AS IF what you want already exists. Because, it truly does already exist as a solid possibility for you to reach for!
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...

Last edited by Andrea Barnett Budin; 02-03-2014 at 11:41 AM..
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Old 02-04-2014, 10:10 PM   #36
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Andi,

I appreciate having "met" you SO MUCH!!!!! You always post just when I need it.

Love,

Caroline
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Dx Age 47 July/09 Stage 2B/3
Left Mast. Aug 09- 1 of 3 positive nodes in axillary dissection (yes only 3)
ER+ 90%, PR+ 20%, HER2+++
4 x AC, 4 x Paclitaxol and H (Neupogen for 7 cycles), Herceptin complete Nov 10
Mar–Apr 2010 25 Rads
Apr 10-Oct 11- Tamoxifen
Oct 11 – 3 cm met to sternum
Oct 11-Letrozole for 3 mths, start Clasteon-bone remodeller
Nov-Dec 11 - Happy 50th Birthday -20 rads to sternum
Jan-April 2012 Taxotere/Herceptin-6 cycles (Neupogen for 5)
Herceptin every 3 weeks-Letrozole added Nov 2012
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Old 02-06-2014, 01:58 PM   #37
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Hi Caroline!

Your post delights me. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is watching, though it appears so. A shout out is always nice. And I am elated that my words reached you right on time!

Love,
ANDI
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:32 PM   #38
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

I'm always with you my Sisters! Even when you don't see me! I swear.

Here to inspire you.

Bumping this up.

NED since 1999.

Off of Herceptin for almost 6 yrs -- after being on for -- 10 yrs!!!

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

I LOVE YOU,

ANDI
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:48 PM   #39
Carol Ann
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Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Thanks Andi, what would we do without you ... I NEVER want to find out!

Carol Ann
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July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.

Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".

Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.

Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.

Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.

Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.

March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!

March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.

March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)

April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm

May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)

June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia

Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!

Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.

Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.

Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!

January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:50 PM   #40
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Re: A simple formula for changing the future

Feed your Soul...
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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