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Old 07-09-2009, 11:46 AM   #41
IRENE FROM TAMPA
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I am so sorry Eric

This news breaks my heart to hear and like so many on this site - I send you and your family my prayers.

I hate this disease
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Irene from Tampa
1996 - INFILT DUCTAL CAR.W/ LYMPH NODE INVOLVEMENT. ADRIA/CYTOXIN/5FU
1999 - RECURR. TO AUXILA AND 2 TUMORS IN LIVER
TREAT: STEM CELL REPLACEMENT/HERCEPTIN.
2002 - RECUR TO LIVER
TREAT: NAVELBINE, THEN GEMZAR, THEN XELODA.
2004 - TUMORS STILL IN LIVER
TREAT: RFA TO LIVER
STABLE UNTIL
2004 - TUMOR PROGRESSION IN LIVER.
TREAT: RESECT HALF OF LIVER.
2005 - RECURR TO LYMPH NODE OUTSIDE OF LIVER.
TREAT: TAXOL/CARPO/HERCEPTIN. FAILED ON
THIS TRIO. STARTED ON ABRAXANE.
2006 - PROGRESS WITH 2ND TUMOR GROWTH.
TREAT: AUG. BEGAN ON TYKERB/XELODA
TRIAL. CONSIDERED STABLE TO DATE.
2007 - TAKEN OFF OF TYKERB/XELODA TRIAL DUE TO
PROGRESS STARTING TYKERB/AVASTIN.
NOV 2007 - SCANS SHOW PROGRESS TUMOR GROWTH
IN ABDOM. AND TWO NEW TUMORS IN NECK AREA.
BEGAN HERCEPTIN/AVASTIN/TAXOTERE
Feb 08 - Ixempra/Xeloda
June 08 - Her/DM1 trial

"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY."
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:11 PM   #42
Barbara H.
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Your Angel

Dear Eric,
From the very first time I read your posts I was so impressed with your compassionate care and willingness to give everything in your power to Caryn and to help her in her recovery. Caryn will still continue to be a part of you and your children. All that she gave to you will stay with you.

Nevertheless, my heart just breaks for you, and I was so sad to open this forum and read your message. Thank you for thinking of us during such a difficult time, because all of our thoughts have been with you, Caryn and your children.

Yes, you will worry about your children, but the care you will give them, and the memories and stories you will tell them will help them the rest of their lives. I have had students in my class who have lost parents. Of course it's hard, but with you as their father, and with the support from friends and family they will make it and become strong and caring individuals.

Still, my thoughts remain with you and your family, and it is impossible for me to really comprehend how hard it must be for you.

With heartfelt thoughts,
Barbara H.
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:43 PM   #43
Chelee
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Eric, My heart breaks for you & your childern. Caryn fought so hard, and was so blessed to have such a loving & dedicated husband by her side.

My deepest condolences to you & your family.

Chelee
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DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes.
Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs.
Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06
Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07
3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07
9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV.
9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa
9-29-09 Power Port Placement
10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head.
11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed
12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa.
3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed.
4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone.
5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy.
Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time.
7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:49 PM   #44
chrisy
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Eric,

I just wanted to add, I hope you do find it within you to continue to be part of this forum - it is such a gift to us. Please lean on us as much as you want or need to because we love you and would do anything we can to support you.

Your first priority is yourself and your kids; you must of course focus on what is most important to your own needs. Post here as you feel you can, but mainly do whatever is necessary to care for yourself, including taking time away from "this" family if that serves you best. We'll be here if you need us.

We love you.
Chris
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Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial

5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:51 PM   #45
michka
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Dear Eric. I am so sad and you are so brave. I will always remember Caryn's fight and the way you were besides her. My heart is with you and the children. Michka
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08.2006 3 cm IDC Stage 2-3, HER2 3+ ER+90% PR 20%
FEC, Taxol+ Herceptin, Mastectomy, Radiation, Herceptin 1 year followed by Tykerb 1 year,Aromasin /Faslodex

12.2010 Mets to liver,Herceptin+Tykerb
03.2011 Liver resection ER+70% PR-
04.2011 Herceptin+Navelbine+750mg Tykerb
06.2011 Liver ned, Met to sternum. Added Zometa 09.2011 Cyberknife for sternum
11.2011 Pet clear. Stop Navelbine, continuing on Hercpetin+Tykerb+Aromasin
02.2012 Mets to lungs, nodes, liver
04.2012 TDM1, Ned in 07.2012
04.2015 Stop TDM1/Kadcyla, still Ned, liver problems
04.2016 Liver mets. Back on Kadcyla
08.2016 Kadcyla stopped working. mets to liver lungs bones
09.2016 Biopsy to liver. no more HER2, still ER+
09.2016 CMF Afinitor/Aromasin/ Xgeva.Met to eye muscle Cyberknife
01.2017 Gemzar/Carboplatin/ Ibrance/Faslodex then Taxotere
02.2017 30 micro mets to brain breathing getting worse and worse
04.2017 Liquid biopsy/CTC indicates HER2 again. Start Herceptin with Halaven
06.2017 all tumors shrunk 60% . more micro mets to brain (1mm mets) no symptoms
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:39 PM   #46
Julie2
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Eric,

I just prayed that this day should not come. I feel so much pain in my heart. Please take care of yourself and the kids.

Julie
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Diagnosed in Sept 2004 while pregnant with the second child. Stage 3b, tumor 4.5cm, 4 auxillary and supraclav node positive. Her2+++ FISH 9.4 and er-,pr-.
Had dose dense neoadjuvant AC,Taxol then mastectomy,radiation+xeloda+Herceptin.
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:47 PM   #47
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Thank you for thinking of us, even now...

Oh dearest Eric,

My heart is with. You and Caryn have fought so very bravely and with such grace, we all stand in awe. It is a true honor to know such remarkable people. Even in the midst of your most challenging trials, we can see that your love has somehow carried you. The love you share with Caryn has been so obviously radiant, I believe you will keep her in your heart forever. Surely, though she has passed on to another realm of being, her Soul endures, and is full of her love for you and for your children. It will be so eternally...

Your strength of character will continue to guide you through this most difficult and unwanted time. I know you will be there for your children, as you are a man who is brimming with an angelic determination and devotion. I so admire you, Eric.

We each need such a hero in our lives, especially as we face this life-threatening disease. Your best friend and the love of your life is at peace now. No more pain. No more struggle. Now watching over you as there is no other place she would rather be. I believe she can hear you, and if you listen very quietly, you will hear her. Feel her presence. Let it comfort it.

Your love kept Caryn fighting on to the very end. It surrounded her and buoyed her. It caressed her and coddled her. You gifted her with that. Good for you.

I am sending you prayers to help console you and know how much your family means to all of us here. Our thoughts are with you. I wish you could feel the hug I am giving you, a token of my solidarity with you. I can feel how heavy this burden has been and I am so very sorry. I deeply want you to know this.

I know you will rally the fortitude to be there for your beautiful children, as they grieve and throughout their lives. Deep inside you, I haven't a doubt that you know how important you are to them, now more than ever. Caryn is counting on you to carry on, for her, and for them.

It is much too soon. I wish, as we all do, that Caryn's life could have been spared, that she could have grown old and gray by your side. I do believe though that this is not the end of Caryn's story. She lives on, albeit in another plane, and will patiently wait for you. She will be there for you with open in arms -- in time. It is not time yet. I so wish it could have different, but we must accept the unacceptable at times. I am shaking my head, wishing I could make it all go away yet aware how helpless I am to do this.

Eric, please trust that you are significantly needed to carry on here, in her name, in her honor...

With much love, Eric,
Andi
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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:11 PM   #48
Tom
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Dear Eric,

There is nothing for me to say other than I am profoundly sorry that you and your children have lost your sweet Caryn. May God rest His loving hand on your shoulder as you work through this. You are all in my prayers.

Sincerely,
Tom
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:29 PM   #49
AbbyDawg
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Eric ~

I know you understand that we are all at a loss of words and so wish we could be there to comfort you and your families.

Starting many years ago, my friends and families have all included, "On Eagles' Wings" as tradition in funerals. It seems to bond us in understanding as we all can remember the joy and heartbreak of times before. If you post the time of Caryn's funeral, I will play it here.

God bless you all ... dearly.


On Eagles' Wings
(Michael Joncas)

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord: "My refuge,
My rock in whom I trust!"


Chorus: And he will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His hand.


The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear:
Under His wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.


You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day;
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.


For to His angels He's given a command
To guard you in all of your ways;
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.


Adaptation of Psalm 91



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Old 07-09-2009, 03:25 PM   #50
Patb
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I am so very sorry. I will be praying for your family
in the coming days to give you strength to carry on.
I am so very sad today. Take care and know we care,
patb
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patb

Diagnosed June, 06, Stage I, Grade3, ER+PR- Her2positive, No Nodes. A/C X 4. Radiation 33 with boost, Herceptin every two weeks until Nov.
07, Arimedex for 5 years. Mugas and Echo and chest xRay. Bone scan of whole Body, and Back of Brain and spine MRI.
CT scan of Lungs every six months
due to two small places. December
2009, bone scan due to bone pain.
Follow up test in 2010.
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Old 07-09-2009, 03:43 PM   #51
ElaineM
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Wink Caryn is an angel now

I am so sorry to read your news Eric. Caryn is a special person to all of us. She is watching over you, the children and all of us now. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts with us. Please feel free to drop by for a visit whenever you can.
Peace,
ElaineM
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Peace,
ElaineM
12 years and counting
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48247
Lucky 13 !! I hope so !!!!!!
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=52807
14 Year Survivor
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57053
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." author unknown
Shared by a multiple myeloma survivor.
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Old 07-09-2009, 04:26 PM   #52
Bill
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I'm so very sorry, Eric. You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers. She will be watching over you and your children. Please take some comfort in knowing that you both did the very best that you could possibly do. Please keep in touch and drop by whenever you want to. Love to you and yours, Bill
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Old 07-09-2009, 04:40 PM   #53
sally
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Eric, I am very sad to hear of Caryns' passing. You are a fighter and you will get through this tough time. Your posts tell me that you will be O.K. and you will be there for your kids. Stay strong and hang in there. Sally
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Dx March 2004 HER2+ er/pr+ 8/16 + lymphnodes mets to the liver Stage IV / 6 cycles of TCH and 33 rads . NED Continued Herceptin 3 years w/ Femara. Tumor markers start to rise in Jan of 2007 and swiched to Tamoxifen. August of 2007 found more mets to liver and lymphnodes outside of liver. Went on Tykerb/Xeleoda--spots on liver gone found large mass between intestines. March 2008 started TCH. Stopped Carboplatin due to allergy. Still on Taxotere and Herceptin. Nov 2008 mass is gone. 3 new spot on liver and one on spine. Radiation on spine. tykerb/gemzar for liver mets. PET in April 09 showed shrinkage still a little activity, continue tykerb/gemzar until Aug 09. PET showed new spot on my spine more on my liver and a bunch of enlarged lymphnodes in upper chest. Start Adriamycin Sep 09. more radiation on spine . April 2010- Still on Adriamycin 3wks on 1 wk off and zometa every 28 days. PET -May 2010 showed progression. Starting Herceptin/Navelbine on June '10
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:19 PM   #54
flynny
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your angel

Eric, your devotion to Caryn is such a wonderful gift. Losing someone so special is never easy. Your children are very lucky to have such a caring and loving father. I am so sorry for your loss and sending out lots of cyber hugs. I pray that time will heal you and that your children, friends and family will comfort you continuously! Thank you!
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-Sarah-

Jan '07 felt lump (PCP "thought" it was a cyst)
Nov '07 "bloody nipple discharge" (OB-GYN "thought" I had fibrocystic breasts and told me to take 400 IU's of Vitamin E)
Note: Mother was dx w/BC in 2004 (ER/PR+ & HER2+) & mets to brain April 2007 (she passed away June 17, 2008)
2/1/08: Biopsy Dx: DCIS (age 34)
2/22/08: Surgery R-side Mast
2/28/08: 1st Path Rpt Dx: IDC 1.8cm tumor & DCIS 2.1cm
2nd Path Rep DFCI - IDC (0.9cm) & DCIS (2.1cm)
Stage 1b/Gr 3; ER+(5%), PR+(2%), HER-2+++
5/5 nodes NEG; Clear Margins
Chemo: AC 4 rnds (1st one 3/31/08) finished 6/2/08
TH (Taxol/Hercepin) 12 weeks (1st one 6/25/08) finished 9/8/08
Herceptin 9 mos (every 3 weeks) finished 6/8/09
BRCA 1/2 NEG
Bio: Age 39, married to James 1999, 2 boys 12 & 10 yo
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:25 PM   #55
Gerri
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Eric,

May your love for Caryn and the life you shared carry you through this time of grief. Keep her memory alive with your children - it will mean so much to them as they grow.

You are an amazing man.
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Gerri
Dx: 11/23/05, Lumpectomy 12/12/05
Tumor 2.2 cm, Stage II, Grade 3, Sentinel Node biopsy negative
ER+ (30%) /PR+ (50%), HER2+++
AC X 4 dose dense, Taxol X 4 dose dense
Herceptin started with 2nd Taxol, given weekly until chemo done
then given every 3 weeks for one year ending on March 16, 2007
Radiation 30 treatments
Tamoxifen - 2 yrs (pre-menopausal)
May 2008 - Feb 2012 Femara
Aug 2008 - Feb 2012 Zometa every 6 months
March 2012 - Stop Femara, now Evista for bone strengthening
**********
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look
back and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:36 PM   #56
'lizbeth
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Eric,

It is hard to find the words to tell you how badly I feel that you didn't get a miracle so you could have a long and happy and healthy life with Caryn. I will include you and your children in my prayers.

'lizbeth
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Diagnosed 2007
Stage IIb Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Pagets, 3 of 15 positive nodes

Traditional Treatment: Mastectomy and Axillary Node Dissection followed by Taxotere, 6 treatments and 1 year of Herceptin, no radiation
Former Chemo Ninja "Takizi Zukuchiri"

Additional treatments:
GP2 vaccine, San Antonio Med Ctr
Prescriptive Exercise for Cancer Patients
ENERGY Study, UCSD La Jolla

Reconstruction: TRAM flap, partial loss, Revision

The content of my posts are meant for informational purposes only. The medical information is intended for general information only and should not be used in any way to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:20 PM   #57
Patty F
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Eric, I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
__________________
10/15/07: Diagnosed at age 46 lymph node removal (2)
ER/PR - Her2 +++
11/07: Port Installed
11/07 - 1/08: AC
1/30/08: Right Mast Stage lllC
2/28/08: Start Taxol and Herceptin weekly.
5/15/08: Finished Taxol
8/12/08: Finished 33 Rads
1/29/09: Finished Herceptin
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:28 PM   #58
CindyE
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Eric,
My thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family. I am deeply sadden by the news of Caryn's passing but I know that she is now free. Free from this earth's diseases, pains, and struggles. Those of us left behind have to try and deal with the loss of our loved ones. I know first hand that it is never easy. We can only draw upon our faith in our loving Lord to help us through these times. May God bless you and your children. We are all here for you and continue to support you through this difficult time. Please stay in touch and know that Caryn is waiting for you when the time is right for you all to be reunited in her loving arms.
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Cindy

L/IDC, 1.2 cm, Stage 1, Her2+, ER+/PR+ at age 48
4/15/2008 Lumpectomy + sentinel node biopsy
Margins neg and Nodes neg (2 tested)
MUGA score 55 on 5/6/2008

Treatment starting 05/08/2008:
Chemo 4 cycles, 3 weeks apart with Taxotere & Cytoxan - Chemo - Done 7/24/2008!
Herceptin for 1 year
Radiation starting in 9/2008
MUGA score 61.9 on 9/04/2008
33 Rads with boost - Done 10/13/2008
MUGA score 58 on 12/01/2008
MUGA score 59 on 3/16/2009
Herceptin for 1 year - Done 4/27/2009
MUGA score 64 on 6/22/2009
All scans - NED 6/24/2009
MRI - NED 11/10/2009
All scans - Still NED 8/25/2011
Still NED 2017!



I am calling this my pink journey
Follow my journey into the pink at my blog here

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Old 07-09-2009, 07:06 PM   #59
vickie h
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Your Angel

Dearest Eric and family,
It is through tears that I write this tonight. You held each other so close and have been a shining example of love, compassion and faith to all of us. Please know that we are still praying for you and the children as you go through the days ahead...we love you and thank you for always being there...for your kindness and support.
I am at a loss for words, nothing can come close to understanding what you are going through right now. May you find comfort in the love that surrounds you today and all days.
Much love,
Vickie
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Love and Hugs, Vickie

Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It's about learning to dance in the rain.


Feb 04 IBC IIIC/IV er-/pr- her2+++
3/04 TCH X4
7/ 04 MRM 9/04 Taxol/herceptin wkly 1 yr 33X rads
11/04 skin mets 33x rads,10/05 Avast/Herc. 11 mos.
8/ 06 PET mets lymphs, neck
9/ 06 Navelbine/herceptin
11/ 06 PET NED
2/ 07 skin mets, 4/07 Xeloda, 5/07 add Tykerb
2/ 08 Tykerb failed. Doxil /Herceptin 6 months
8/08 PET skin mets, 8/08 Abraxane/Avastin
11/ 08 PET prog., skin mets
1/09 PET/CT progress, 1/09 Ixempra, 2/09 add Xeloda and low dose Naltrexone
2/09 off Ixempra/Xeloda
3/09 navelbine/herc/cytoxin 4/09 PET shows regress.7/09 start Topotecan. Failed.
8/09 extensive mets rgt brst, back and torso. starting Pazopanib clinical trial.
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Old 07-09-2009, 07:12 PM   #60
hermiracles
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Dear Eric - blessings and prayers for you and your family.
Hermiracles
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2003 L/DCIS –> LWE: High G./Comedo - 6 nodes clear 6 wks Rx
04/07 2 miracles born ~ very grateful
06/07 Susp areas L/b
09/07 Stage 2 bilat. mastectomy R/ b. clear extens DCIS/IDC Paget’s 8 nodes clear ER(<5%) HER2+++ CT clear
11/07 Portacath - FEC
15/11/07 Stage 4 Emerg op - hip replacemt #NOF bone mets H/Taxotere
12/07 Rx to 'spots' on spine/R/hip/femur 3wkly H
2008 H+T mets to rib/sternum? Aredia CT clear! Cont. H + Aredia 07/08 1 wk Palliative Care - mets to lungs + ?1 to brain
09/08 Stop H complete Epirubicin 1wk PC new brain mets
10/08 2wks WBR 1wk PC 22/10/08 Tykerb/Xeloda 12/08 6 CEREBRAL METS COMPLETELY GONE! Rib mets down to <1cm.
01/09 Tumour markers normal! Rx to L/arm
03/09 LUNGS CLEAR (ALL NODULES GONE!), brain clear, liver clear. Bones stable! ~ THANK YOU GOD
07/09 Repeat CT Scan ~ ALL organs clear apart from bones which remain stable. I walk in gratitude.
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