Haven't been on this board for nearly 3 years

[KirisMum]

Thanks so much, girls, for all your support and encouragement. To answer some of your questions, Kiri did have followups - the protocol at Dana is to scan only when there are symptoms. So she had a lumpiness in her good breast in the fall of 2011, they MRI'd her and found calcifications, and she has had MRI's there every six months since, with no indication of anything serious. Last year about this time she had a lingering cough and they had her in for a CAT scan and her lungs were clear. A few months later she finished herceptin (I think last May sometime). She has had no symptoms of metastasis, and the only reason they found these is that she went in for a scan of a lingering cough and cold, which turned out to be nothing, but the scan picked up her lung and liver mets. I think she has one bone met. My guess is that maybe after she stopped herceptin the tumors progressed, but who knows.

She is incredibly strong and healthy and active--she is a real little warrior. Recently she took up rock climbing and progressed quickly to a 5.9 level, whatever that is. She also rides horses, and works out. She is in good weight, has a great appetite, and no physical problems. She's very active in her work, teaches at two different colleges and tutors privately while working on her PhD. Really, she is a whirlwind - I get exhausted just listening to her daily plans.

She is also VERY realistic, extremely organized, and determined to make every minute that she has left count. I so admire her pragmatism, and it's a wonderful antidote to our sentimental sorrow. She just makes you want to smarten up when you're around her. I have never NEVER seen her exhibit one ounce of self-pity, or why me? or this is so unfair. To her, it is what it is. One of her mottoes on her facebook page is from Willa Cather: The end is nothing, the journey is all.

Still, with all her pragmatism, and her initial fierce statements of reality, she is leaving room in her future for hope. For her birth announcement, my husband and I quoted the poem "Hope" by Emily Dickinson. I don't know what made me choose that particular verse. Hope is the thing with feathers/that perches in the soul/and sings the tune without the words/and never stops at all. I put it up on her Facebook wall today and she immediately "liked" it. And she acknowledges in her world the possibility of miracles, even though I am the religious one, and she is decidedly NOT. ;-) In terms of her outlook, she is a beautiful combination of both sides.

Whatever happens, I will always be grateful for the gift of her presence in our lives.