Denise, how is recovery progressing?

[ammebarb]

Think about you everyday and hope that your recovery from your back surgery is coming along. Were you able to resolve any of the employment issues? Sending prayers every day!

Barb A.

[jacqueline1102]

I have been wondering as well. I hope you are doing good, Denise. And I hope that the HR drone has loosened up a bit and that all is well with your job. You strike me as someone who always puts others first. I hope that others are taking good care of you.

Fondly,

Jackie

[Laurel]

Oh! You guys didn't hear that Denise strutted into HR and punched that %*^@# square in the nose? Laid her out without flowers on the floor for an hour! That'll teach her!

Well....our Denise is from the Philly area....what da'ya expect?

Hope this curls your lips into a big grin, Denise!

[NEDenise]

Laurel...Puh-lease...in Philly we never get our own hands dirty...we *know a guy*

First, how sweet are you guys!? The prayers and good wishes are needed and appreciated more than I can say!

My back feels better than it has in YEARS! My leg...is healing more slowly than I had hoped. I have a follow-up with the surgeon tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure he won't think the symptoms are unexpected...those nerves were pretty well abused. But, while the *pain* is gone...there is still discomfort sometimes, and numbness and tingling all the time. All the way down the inside of my leg, worst at my knee and ankle. Waaaay better than what it felt like before surgery! No doubt about that...so I'm not complaining, I'll just feel better about it once he tells me it's "expected or normal"...temporary would be good to hear too, but I don't want to push my luck here!

Had a little scare earlier this week...started to have balance trouble, and nausea. Of course, with my luck of late, I immediately thought brain mets! I called the neurosurgeon's CRNP, told her what was going on, and was very relieved to hear her say that given where the larger of my zapped tumors was...this was likely swelling caused by the healing process, NOT something new rearing it's ugly head. PHEW! The symptoms still suck, and I had to go back on those damn, fat-face-producing steroids again...but I feel much better after only two days - physically, and emotionally.

I still marvel at my new reality...one where it's a relief to hear that my brain is only swelling because the old tumor is healing, not because I have a new one too.

The whole work issue is another ball of wax. I did meet with the HR "person". Like Satan himself, she smiled, and tried to make everything she said sound so focused on me, so concerned for my welfare...when that was clearly not her purpose at all. She's power drunk, and heartless. My husband was there...it was his first experience of her, and he came away with the same impression.

Bottom line...because of the way our disability coverage works, and because the school board has a "written" policy about unpaid leave being forbidden...it's pretty clear I can't return to my classroom this year. I've grieved that loss, and I think I've come to peace with the reality that I have to put my family's finances ahead of my desire to "prove that I'm well" or "get back to what I love doing". Believe me, it was not an easy thing to do. That's why I haven't posted about it. I've known for a couple of weeks now, but I just didn't think I could type it without crying all over the keyboard, and re-living the pain. Surprisingly, I haven't shed even one tear! Thanks you Laurel for opening the door for me to share...your humor was the key!

If I want to try to return in the fall, I'll have to get my lawyer to file papers challenging the board's policy, claiming that it's discriminating against me because my BC is a disability, and is covered under ADA. I haven't decided whether I'm going to do that or not...for a lot of reasons...some related to my job, some related to my family, and some just about me.

Man! I could be somebody's prayer LIST, all by myself! And yet, except for the few days after the meeting with HR...I'm still lovin' life...enjoying every day as much as I can. Really! That's gotta be God! Nobody is this resilient on their own, whether they know it or not! I just happen to know it!

Now if I could just get my house clean and back in shape after two years of Mom being "sick"!!! Ted and the boys have done the best they could...but it needs my intervention to get back where it should be.

Thanks again for checking in on me! I don't know what I'd do without my HER2 friends!

Denise

[Laurel]

Hey, Denise! Know how I know you are feeling improved? It's the "haus frau sign". You care about the way your house looks & WANT to spiff it!!! Ya know, I am reasonably surprised that HR gal isn't wearing a pair of cement boots in the fridgid Schuylkill river!

Our friends from around the world will never come to visit with all our talk! LOL

[Joanne S]

Denise, you always crack me up! You're a delight and inspiration. I have a gut feeling (like you say to me) that the work thing will work out fine for you in the future. So glad you're not letting it get the best of you--- We get the best of you! Hoping and praying for your continued improvement. Hugs, Joanne

[KsGal]

Im so glad that you are feeling so much better. Im also glad that you mentioned the information about your brain mets, because I had just started going through the balance issues and stuff this week, and don't see my doctor until next week, so it was reassuring to hear that.
I had to leave my job this past October due to my cancer issues, so I do know how hard that is to go through, even if yours is temporary. I do have to say though, that once you get adjusted to the idea, you may find you really enjoy this time off to spend with your family. It is definitely a hard hit financially...my income basically was cut to less than half. But the quality time I have been able to spend with my kids has definitely balanced everything out. And hey, you are on steroids, you will have that house clean in no time flat! If you still have energy when you are done, you are more than welcome to visit. My house is a disaster! lol
Hope you keep getting better, especially your leg! Lots of prayers and positive energy continue your way.

[lkc Gumby]

Hi Denise, Good to hear you are feeling better. I wish you much better days ahead.
BTW why is it the
Human Resource Dept Personnel are always so seriously lacking in Humanity?

[StephN]

Dear Denise -
Glad to have an update from you that is mostly full of promise. Just sorry to hear that they have you back on the "dreaded decadron" again. Hopefully you can wean off very soon, and not get to the point of the more serious side effects just when you are trying to recover from your back and leg problems.

Speaking of your leg. You have exactly what I have as a result of my blown disk. I am now over 2 months into my physical therapy (twice a week) and am just this week able to tolerate any kind of soft tissue work around my knee (which I badly needed for stiff connective tissues). My pain extended down my inside shin, but did not get into my ankle, so my knee is now the main focus besides my thigh and hamstring which are still fairly tight even with the targeted exercises.

Are you still needing a walker? I used one for over a month after my surgery, mostly due to continued pain in my leg. Then graduated to the cane, but went right to PT to make sure I was using it correctly.

As for mobility, this is pretty good now, and strength is getting better all the time. It is my flexibility that needs further work.

You now are free to get on board with the best PT group you can find, have time to do your exercises and nerve releases, as well as core work. By summer you will be in great shape!

You are also free to read some good books, go through your house room by room, and have more quality time with hubby, boys and friends. Just give yourself permission to do those things, and commit to turning a page in your life.

All the best to you!

[NEDenise]

Thanks Friends!

They've pushed my MRI up about 10 days, just to be sure the symptoms are coming from where they think they're coming from...and aren't anything new. The decadron dose is still low (8mg/day) so the puffy face isn't too bad, and I can sleep...so I guess it's a win/win...I'm not falling down from bad balance, and I don't feel to badly either.

Steph...actually, I saw the surgeon and he said I don't need to see him again unless I feel I want to...good to hear. He said the discomfort I'm feeling is not uncommmon with the sort of herniation I had (lateral) and that it should subside over time.
I've been lucky enough to be wheelchair, walker and cane free for about 2 weeks now, which is good, because I'm not the most graceful person in the world, and I just couldn't get the cane to work right. My flexibility is okay, I'm working on strength and stamina. Walking and bike riding mostly (indoors of course because it's Febraury, and snowing!!)

Once my back feels up to it, I'll start more core stuff...I know how important that is after a back injury. I'm VERY esperienced with that, having had many other ones over the years. What a great surgery this was...nagging lower back pain used to be my constant companion, but not anymore...the company that makes those Heat Wraps is definitely going to feel the financial pain from my not needing their product anymore!!

I hope your rehab keeps going well...it sounds like you've made great progress already!

Be well friends!
Denise

[dearjilly]

Hey Denise,
Yay for no mets, boo for decadron. I've been thinking about you and I'm happy to hear that you're recovering nicely. Lots going on with you eh?
Chat soon, Jill xo