Port In

dawn · 03-11-2010, 07:50 AM

I just got home from having my port in, no discomfort right now and glad now that I have it in. Makes me feel really sad though, trying not to look to the future and do the what if"s. Trying very hard to stay positive take my xeloda and hope that it's killing anything foreign in its sight. I think I'll get the "pity me" over and done with as my daughter will soon be home from school and I try to contain everything when her and my son are around. Last night I explained the port to both of them during supper and my 9 year old son says, "mommy will I have to get one when I get older too" I said "Hopefully, you'll never have to but mommy has to get a lot of needles to keep the germs away". I don't want them worrying about me or getting upset, but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. But then again, what is the right thing? Anyway, Im doing pretty good right now, and hopefully will get used to the port and not obsess about it.

DAwn

ammebarb · 03-11-2010, 08:19 AM

Goog morning, Dawn. I'm glad your port is now in place and you are that much more ready to do battle. It's been a long, long time since my cancer diagnosis, but your concerns about helping your children deal with it struck home when I read your post. I recall so vividly that my first reaction was about how to tell my children. They were eight and eleven at the time. I spoke with the hospital's social worker, who helped me to confirm my feeling about how much to tell and how. You are so right when you say there is no one "right" thing. We tried to be honest, but to tell only what we thought they were capable of understanding. If you are at all concerned about how they are accepting your diagnosis, school counselors or private ones could undoubtedly help.

I hope that your port makes your infusions easier and that it gives you no difficulty. I never had one, but my sister has one right now. Back when I did my chemo, it was all needle sticks and while I don't usually don't mind them, there were times when I'd have loved another way!

My best to you....Keep your chin up....that's one of the toughest parts....Wish our good wishes could magically bouy you!

Gentle hugs,
Barb A.

Shobha · 03-11-2010, 09:53 AM

Hi Dawn,

I have heard of very good results from Xeloda+herceptin combo. I have a strong feeling that this will do the trick for you too and you will never need to have that difficult conversation with your kids. My prayers for you and your family.

Love,
shobha

dawn · 03-11-2010, 10:12 AM

Barb,

Thank you so much. Im hoping I never have that conversation with my kids. Both their teachers are in the loop and keep and extra eye on their behaviours as is their guidance councellor(that kyle adores and runs to for everything as he has AS also) So that gives me some comfort.

Shobha,
I hope and pray that your feelings are correct and this is my combo. I guess today is extra hard since I have recieved my port.

Dawn

tricia keegan · 03-11-2010, 02:45 PM

Dawn, I hated the idea of a port but eventually got one on my third a/c when it became more difficult and stressful to find a vein. I'm quite thin so it stuck out of my chest and made me feel really depressed but it became my best friend and I was so glad to have it.
I'm sure you will be too, anything that makes this easier right??
I got used to it and hope you will too, and much luck with the treatment to you

curryalso · 03-11-2010, 03:53 PM

I resisted the port, but when they could never get a vein until 3 or 4 tries, I gave in. Now I have a power port and no pain.

Pam P · 03-11-2010, 05:33 PM

Dawn - I've had a port since the beginning of my dx. It is the best thing. I'm pretty needle phobic and I don't know what I'd do without it. I hope you'll agree that it saves a lot of time and pain from getting the IV's started each time and for just taking blood. I don't have a power port, but wish I did so it could be used for scans too. Xeloda and herceptin works really well. Imagine all those mets just shrivelling up from this combo.

Ellie F · 03-12-2010, 05:27 AM

Hi dawn
I got a chest port a year ago when I recurred. Got to say it's been the best thing I have had. Looking back I would have been better with one from the start!As Pam says I feel it's a pity I can't use it for scans.

Ellie

WolverineFan · 03-12-2010, 12:58 PM

Dawn,

I agree with Ellie...the port is the way to go! I love that little thing and would love to hug the inventor of it. Makes things much, much easier.

As for you with your children, even though I was diagnosed at an earlier stage, I understand your concern. I could look at my kids and feel the tears well up, and when I was struggling, they could give me the biggest boost. They truly are my biggest strength and inspiration.

Before I even told my children, I researched a ton on how to talk to children, and even scripted out the points that I wanted to be sure and talk about. I keep my kids involved and have done so from the beginning and continue to do so at a high level. I bought books for kids that explain cancer and read it to them. I also got the book from the area where I went for chemo called "Helping your Children Cope With Your Cancer" written by Peter Van Dernoot. I cried all the way through it, but really thought it was a helpful book and would recommend it to you as well. My kids were 8 and 5 at the time of my diagnosis. My daugher, the oldest, took it very hard even with my prognosis being very good. I took them with me to try on wigs (got a crazy one that they picked out...even wore it to their school for lunch), and took them to meet my oncologist and her PA and also let them peer into the room where I got my chemo. It seemed to take all the mystery away and really helped calm my daughter, in particular. I made a big deal about the comfy chairs I get to sit in and how I got to take a nap when I was having treatment.

The biggest thing that helped my children was having them do the one mile Susan G Komen walk in September with me. I was in the middle of treatment, but to see all those women in pink was HUGE to not only me and my husband, but to my children. Long term survivors came over to me as soon as they saw my children and shared how many years out they were. That walk was an enormous turning point for my daughter.

Please keep us posted. I think and pray for you (and many others on this board) each day.

dawn · 03-12-2010, 01:20 PM

Hi Hayley,

I do all that with my kids, emily goes to everything with me and they come to the hospital to pick me up when I get treatments but. We also did a relay walk for cancer last year and Kyles School Choir performed the song "The Climb" for the survivors. Just telling them that Im stage iv and cancer is back would break my heart. Right now I have no answers as to what the future holds and struggle with it. I don't want them to have the same feelings at such a young age.

Dawn