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Old 04-23-2012, 05:26 PM   #1
Emelie B
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Thank you all

for your lovely thoughts, insights and love. I truly do believe you when you say that you want only the best for me, so I feel at ease trying to share this journey with all of you. You all understand what our day to day lives can be like, so I believe also that you probably understand where my heart is more than my own family.
I just want you to know that this peace that I speak of in my posts exists because I owned up to "my cancer" and said ok, we are in this together.
The peace I feel is when I feel a twinge where the tumors are and KNOW it is my cancer. Not maybe, but know. It is my cancer. It is my body and no one else's and most improtantly, it is my life and I am really letting go and living. No more worry about test, doctors, or pains.
I wish I had known how wonderful palliative care is! These beautiful women who have come into my life make me feel as if I really matter. I did not know that you can get this care while you are in treatment too! I would've called years ago.
The nurse came out to my house to meet me and she had a journal with handwritten notes on my medical history. She asked about my sleep habits, nutrition, exercise, medications, past history and then she asked if I had any questions. She sat with my husband and me and answered questions for 45 minutes. An angel has been sent to us. I can call them any time of the day or night, which is awesome because hubby travels 50% of the time, and someone will answer my questions. They have in-patient nurses at the hospital I go to that are also my advocate and know my medical history.
I can not tell you what a relief it is to have a group of social workers, clergy and physicans working for my comfort. PERIOD. It is all about making me comfortable, and they call once a week to see how I am doing, if I need any different pain meds, and the multiple other questions that arise during the week.
I am getting the best medical care I have ever gotten.
Hands down.
So, please do not worry about me ladies, I really and truly am fine and living my days to best of my ability.
I still hope to hook up with Michka in Paris, so I will be out- of- touch on a much needed family vacation.
Again, to each and every one of you who took the time and the trouble to talk with me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I will check in when we return.
Enjoy Spring all,
Emelie
__________________
Nov. 2006-IDC with Her2 +++
A/C for 3 rounds
Dec. 2006- Herceptin and Taxotere
March 2007-MRM with 8 of 14 lymph node involvement
May 2007-36 Rads
Sept. 2007- Stopped Herceptin
Jan. 2010- CT scan shows enlarged lymph nodes in sternum and lung involvement
Feb. 2010-PET scan shows mets to liver, lung, lymph nodes and bone
Feb. 2010- Started Herceptin/Taxol and Zometa
April 2010-PET scan clear. Herceptin and Zometa
June 2010- Stopped Herceptin continue Zometa and still NED
August 2010-Back on Herceptin and Zometa every 3 weeks
August 13, 2010- Had another port placed
August 24, 2010- PET scan clear. Herceptin and Zometa every three weeks
Nov. 2010-PET scan clear
Feb. 2011-Brain MRI clear
March 2011- PET scan clear
May 2011- PET scan clear
Sept. 2011- PET, Mammo, Bone Scan all clear- Herceptin only
March 2012-Recurrence in lungs and tumor around pota hepatis artery. Added Navelbine to herceptin
April 2012- Entered palliative care
June 5, 2012-Entered hospice care
Planning my memorial
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Old 04-23-2012, 05:57 PM   #2
NanaJoni
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie - it is wonderful to hear you speak with such clarity and peace with your decisions. Clergy often quote and wish "the peace which passes all understanding" but few of us ever experience that true peacefulness. Wishing much joy for you - you continue to inspire!
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Joni -64 yrs old -
3/01/10: found lump in rt.breast
3/12/10: mammogram/ultrasnd/biopsy-invasive bc & DCIS; 2 tumors (2cm er-/pr-/HER2-& 1.8 cm er-/pr-/HER2+); grade 3;poorly differentiated
3/24/10:sent.node biopsy clear
3/31/10:bi-lateral mx.;atypical ductal hyperplasia-lft side
4/21/10:wound revision-infection/scarring 4/28/10:seromas both sides
5/21/10:port installed,TCH chemo (6 x 3 wks); Herc,-1yr; 33 rad tx after chemo
07/2010: port not working-2nd port didnt'work;3rd port opposite side.
07/2010: 2 weeks after 3rd port surgery, threw 3 pulm. emboli-IVC filter installed; warfarin
08/2010: hospitalizations w/3 of chemos; decision to stop after 4th-on to radiation in Oct 2010;Herc cont.
12/03/2010 - finished 33 rads Hooray!! cont. Herc. every 3 wks
4/2011 - pneumonia ??? Nope-radiation pneumonitis. No more Herc.
5/2011 - NED!!! port out.
8/2011 - clean PET & CT scans.Still NED
7/2012 - Still NED/very blessed.
2/2013 - 6 mos checkup-all clear. CA2729 down frm 13 to 11.
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Old 04-23-2012, 06:37 PM   #3
Mary Jo
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Re: Thank you all

I can read the "peace" you speak of in your type written words. I believe you. I am happy for you and know that each and everyday you live will be filled to the brim. God Bless you Emelie. I think you are AWESOME and a blessing to each of us here.

Mary Jo
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"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC
ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++
RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor
Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node
No Vasucular Invasion
4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin
1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks
28 rads
prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06

17 Years NED

<>< Romans 8:28
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:41 PM   #4
Pray
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie, we all look forward to sharing your experience in Paris and meeting up with Michka. I wish you great joy and happiness.

Peace my friend,

Nancy
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Old 04-24-2012, 05:25 AM   #5
Delaney
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie, I am so happy you are finding the palliative care such a help. I met the palliatiave team the last time I had surgery. I meet them every six weeks or so in their clinic. They have offered to call to my home and I will take up that offer when I need to. Its reassuring to know that someone with my full history will be there when things get difficult. Especially for my familys sake I would still like a miracle but life happens, its out of our control.
I hope you have a lovely holiday and look forward to hearing all about it. Take care, and thank you for everything. Its been a pleasure! Best wishes.
__________________
Delaney, dx 2008 lumpectomy,mastectomy,a/c,paxitaxol, tyverb 1 yr.
dx 2010 mets lymph nodes, skin, lung. start taxotere/herceptin.
Stopped taxtere/herceptin, now on tyverb/xeloda.
Lung mets shrinking.
Back on Herceptin with T/X. Partial response.
Skin mets progressing. Radiation scheduled mid february 2011.
Spot found on hip - radiation to hip beginning mid February 2011.
Now trying Gemzar/Tyverb/Herceptin and Zometa.
CT scan Feb 2011 - lung clear!
Brain mets (specks) - radiation mid Feb.
Brain Scan June'11 - Clear
CT Scan June'11 - Good - skin met active - watch and wait.
Surgery to remove skin met. Surgery to back 2012, four titanium rods inserted. Skin mets reappear. On Navelbine, not working. 4 week washout, start Myocet for skin and lung mets August 2012. Brain scan clear despte intermittent blurry vision (something hiding? Am suspicious but hopeful. )On we go, glad to be here.
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Old 04-24-2012, 08:13 AM   #6
sarah
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Re: Thank you all

Thank you Emilie for your beautiful, touching post. So glad you are surrounded by caring, helpful people.
hugs and love
sarah
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Old 04-24-2012, 09:35 AM   #7
LoisLane
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie I agree with the women here I can also feel the peace in you. I wish you so much joy and comfort..live your life, do everything you want to do. Happy spring and sunshine to you as well xo
__________________
August 2008
Lumpectomy left breast
1 tumour 0.9 cm
Her2 negative
lymph nodes negative
venous/lymphatic invasion absent
ER+PR-
Stage I Grade 2
Radiation and Femara

November 2008
Lumpectomy right breast
2 tumours .03 cm and .05 cm and extensive DCIS
.05 tumour Her2+
lymph node negative
venous/lymphatic invasion "indeterminate"
ER+PR low postive
Stage 1 Grade 2

January 2009
bilateral mastectomy
chemotherapy taxotere
Herceptin one year
Femara
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:19 AM   #8
ElaineM
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Wink Re: Thank you all

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us.
I am glad you have found caring people to help you.
I know you will take good care of yourself and enjoy every momemt of your trip. It sounds wonderful.
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Peace,
ElaineM
12 years and counting
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48247
Lucky 13 !! I hope so !!!!!!
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=52807
14 Year Survivor
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57053
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." author unknown
Shared by a multiple myeloma survivor.
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Old 04-24-2012, 11:13 AM   #9
Kellennea
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this beautiful post with us. Have a wonderful spring & holiday. We'll be right here, waiting to hear all about it.

Kelly
__________________
10/01/10 - Dx at age 44. Found lump after miscarrying & was told it was "probably a clogged milk duct" not so much:
stage II - invasive ductal carcinoma ER/PR+ HER2+
10/01/10 - BRCA test - Negative
11/3/10 -2.5cm tumor removed via lumpectomy, clear margins. sentinal node biopsy - nodes clear!
12/2/10 - port placement
12/2/10 to 3/17/11 - 6 rounds of taxotere, carboplatin & herceptin every 3rd week.
04/20/11 - 6/6/11 - 33 rounds of radiation
4/6/11 to 11/2/11 - 11 additional rounds of herceptin every 3rd week
7/15/11 - port removal
7/5/11 started my 5 year journey on Tamoxifen
9/4/11 -1 yr Chest MRI - CLEAN!!!!
9/5/12 -2 yr Chest MRI - CLEAN!!!!
8/29/12 - Started spotting after being in chemopause 1.5 years. Ultra sound detected 6cm ovary mass & very thick lining. YIKES! Taken off Tamoxifen
9/6/12 - Full abdominal hysterectomy. Pathology report came back clean... thank you baby Jesus!!
9/28/12 - Started Anastrozole
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Old 04-24-2012, 01:07 PM   #10
tricia keegan
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie I missed your earlier post and just saw this now, you reminded me of my friend a few years ago in a similar place and she too felt so much at peace with herself and the world and spoke about it in much the way you have.
I'm pleased you've found such a wonderful Pallaitive support team and hope you have a wonderful vacation
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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Old 04-24-2012, 07:50 PM   #11
KDR
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie,
Sending you roses and lots of peaceful thoughts. I wish you the trip of a lifetime in Paris.
Warmly,
Karen
__________________
World Trade Center Survivor (56th Floor/North Tower): 14 years and still just like yesterday.
Graves Disease, became Euthyroid via Radioactive Iodine, June 2001.
Thyroid Eye Disease. 2003. Decompression surgery in 2009; eyelid lowering surgery in 2010.
Diagnosed: June 2010, liver mets. ER-/PR+10%; HER2+++.
July 2010: Begin Taxol/Herceptin. Eliminate sugar from diet. No surgery or radiation.
January 2011: NED
April 2011: Progression in liver only. Other previous affected areas eradicated. Stop Taxol/Herceptin after 32 infusions.
May 2011: Brain MRI: clear.
May 2011: Begin Tykerb daily, Xeloda twice per day for one week on, one week off, and Herceptin.
November 2011: Progression in liver. All other tumors remain eradicated.
December 2011: BEGIN TRIAL #09-093 Taxol, MCC-DM1 (T-DM1), Perjeta.
Trial requires scans every six weeks, bloodwork and infusions weekly.
Brain MRI: clear.
January 2012: NED. Liver mets, good riddance!
March 2012: NED. Developed SMA (rare blood clot) in intestinal artery and loss of sight in right eye due to optical nerve neuropathy. Resolved when Taxol removed this month.
Continue Protocol of T-DM1 weekly and Perjeta every 3 weeks.
May 2012: NED.
June 2012: Brain MRI: clear.
June-December 2012: NED.
December 2012: TRIAL CONCLUDED; ENTER TRIAL EXTENSION #09-037. CT, Brain MRI, bone scan: clear. NED.
January-March 2013: NED.
June 2013: Brain MRI: clear. CEA upticking; CT shows new met on liver.
July 3, 2013: DISASTER STRIKES during liver ablation: sloppy surgeon cuts intercostal artery and I bleed out, lose 3.5 liters of blood, have major hemothorax, and collapsed lung requiring emergency resuscitative thoracotomy, lung surgery, rib rearrangement and cutting deep connective tissue, transfusion. Ablation incomplete. This life-saving procedure would end up causing me unforgiving pain with every movement I make, permanently, otherwise known as forever.
July 26, 2013: Try Navelbine/Herceptin. Body too weak after surgery and transfusion. Fever. CEA: Normal.
August 16, 2016: second dose Navelbine/Herceptin; CEA: Normal. Will skip doses. Watching and waiting.
September 2013: NED, Herceptin only. CEA: Normal. Started Arimidex.
October-November 2013: NED. Herceptin and Arimidex. CEA, CA125, 15-3: Normal.
December 2013: Something brewing. PET lights up on little spot on liver; CEA upward trend, just outside normal. PET and triphasic liver scan confirm Little Met. Restart Perjeta with Herceptin, stay on Arimidex. Genomic sequencing completed for future treatments, if necessary.
January 2014: Ablate Little Met on the 6th. Happy New Year.
March 2014: Brain MRI: clear. PET/CT reveal liver mets return; new lung mets. This is not funny.
March 2014: BEGIN TRIAL #10-005 A(11)-Temsirolimus plus Neratinib.
April 2014: Genomic testing indicated they could work, they did not. Very strange drug combo for me, felt weird.
April 2014: Started Navelbine and Herceptin. Needed something tried and true, but had significant progression.
June 2014: Doxil and Herceptin.
July 2014: Progression. Got nothing out of it. Brain: NED.
July 2014: Add integrative medical hematologist-oncologist to my team. Begin supplements. These are tumor-busting, immune system boosters. Add glutathione, lysine and taurine IV infusions every three weeks.
July 2014: Begin Gemzar, Herceptin & Perjeta. Happy.
August 2014: ECHO perfect.
January 2015: Begin weekly Vitamin D Analog infusions. 25 mcg. via port.
February 2015: CT: stable.
April 2015: Gem working, but not 100%. Looking into immunotherapy. Finally, treatments for the 21st century!
April 2015: Penn Medicine. Dendritic cell immunotherapy.
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:41 PM   #12
chrisy
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie,
Beautiful post. It made ME feel at peace as well.

All the best to you
Chris
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Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial

5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:32 PM   #13
Jackie07
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Re: Thank you all

Bonjour! Bon appétit! ("We'll always have Paris!" - 'Casablanca')

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http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
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NICU 4.4 LB
Erythema Nodosum 85
Life-long Central Neurocytoma 4x5x6.5 cm 23 hrs 62090 semi-coma 10 d PT OT ST 30 d
3 Infertility tmts 99 > 3 u. fibroids > Pills
CN 3 GKRS 52301
IDC 1.2 cm Her2 +++ ER 5% R. Lmptmy SLNB+1 71703 6 FEC 33 R Tamoxifen
Recc IIB 2.5 cm Bi-L Mast 61407 2/9 nds PET
6 TCH Cellulitis - Lymphedema - compression sleeve & glove
H w x 4 MUGA 51 D, J 49 M
Diastasis recti
Tamoxifen B. scan
Irrtbl bowel 1'09
Colonoscopy 313
BRCA1 V1247I
hptc hemangioma
Vertigo
GI - > yogurt
hysterectomy/oophorectomy 011410
Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement (600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:34 PM   #14
Vicki revised
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Re: Thank you all

What more can anyone ask for, no matter the circumstances, than to have peace? Thank you for sharing this beautiful blessing.
__________________
Vicki
Lord, give me the comfort of Your embrace and acceptance of Your will.

3/11: DX: IDC, HER2++, ER/PR neg, stage 4, mets to liver. Primary tumor: grade 3; 11 cm. 2nd smaller tumor: ~2.5cm. Multiple affected nodes, 1 spot on liver. 6 rounds TCH prior to bmx.
7/11: Nothing left except Primary breast tumor now 1.5cm.
8/11: BMX, 17/17 nodes clear. No post-op chemo or radiation indicated. NED!
10/11: NED! Continue Herceptin indef.
2/12: Reoccurence of liver mets; both lobes. Tykerb added to Herceptin.
5/12: Progression of liver mets. Stop Tykerb, start Abraxane & Herceptin weekly.
8/12: Progression in liver and lymph nodes around liver and right kidney. Herceptin not working anymore! Stop Abraxane and Herceptin. Start Tykerb and Xeloda.
10/12: Severe side effects. 3 weeks break from everything.
12/12: It's working! All tumors gone except 2 (from 20+) Continue Tykerb and Xeloda. Brain and spine MRIs clear.
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Old 04-28-2012, 06:33 PM   #15
Mtngrl
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Re: Thank you all

Emelie,

God bless you.

Thank you for sharing this with us.
__________________
Amy
_____________________________
4/19/11 Diagnosed invasive ductal carcinoma in left breast; 2.3 cm tumor, 1 axillary lymph node, weakly ER+, HER2+++
4/29/11 CT scan shows suspicious lesions on liver and lungs
5/17/11 liver biopsy
5/24/11 liver met confirmed--Stage IV at diagnosis
5/27/11 Begin weekly Taxol & Herceptin for 3 months (standard of care at the time of my DX)
7/18/11 Switch to weekly Abraxane & Herceptin due to Taxol allergy
8/29/11 CT scan shows no new lesions & old lesions shrinking
9/27/11 Finish Abraxane. Start Herceptin every 3 weeks. Begin taking Arimidex
10/17/11--Brain MRI--No Brain mets
12/5/11 PET scan--Almost NED
5/15/12 PET scan shows progression-breast/chest/spine (one vertebra)
5/22/12 Stop taking Arimidex; stay on Herceptin
6/11/12 Started Tykerb and Herceptin on clinical trial (w/no chemo)
9/24/12 CT scan--No new mets. Everything stable.
3/11/13 CT Scan--two small new possible mets and odd looking area in left lung getting larger.
4/2/13--Biopsy of suspicious area in lower left lung. Mets to lung confirmed.
4/30/13 Begin Kadcyla/TDM-1
8/16/13 PET scan "mixed," with some areas of increased uptake, but also some definite improvement, so I'll stay on TDM-1/Kadcyla.
11/11/13 Finally get hormone receptor results from lung biopsy of 4/2/13. My cancer is no longer ER positive.
11/13/13 PET scan mixed results again. We're calling it "stable." Problems breathing on exertion.
2/18/14 PET scan shows a new lesion and newly active lymph node in chest, other progression. Bye bye TDM-1.
2/28/14 Begin Herceptin/Perjeta every 3 weeks.
6/8/14 PET "mixed," with no new lesions, and everything but lower lungs improving. My breathing is better.
8/18/14 PET "mixed" again. Upper lungs & one spine met stable, lower lungs less FDG avid, original tumor more avid, one lymph node in mediastinum more avid.
9/1/14 Begin taking Xeloda one week on, one week off. Will also stay on Herceptin and Perjeta every three weeks.
12/11/14 PET Scan--no new lesions, and everything looks better than it did.
3/20/15 PET Scan--no new lesions, but lower lung lesions larger and a bit more avid.
4/13/15 Increasing Xeloda dose to 10 days on, one week off.
7/1/15 Scan "mixed" again, but suggests continuing progression. Stop Xeloda. Substitute Abraxane every 3 weeks starting 7/13.
10/28/15 PET scan shows dramatic improvement everywhere. All lesions except lower lungs have resolved; lower lungs noticeably improved.
12/18/15 Last Abraxane. Continue on Herceptin and Perjeta alone beginning 1/8/16.
1/27/16 PET scan shows cancer is stable.
5/11/16 PET scan shows uptake in some areas that were resolved on the last two scans.
6/3/16 Begin Kadcyla and Tykerb combination
6/5 - 6/23 Horrible diarrhea from K&T together. Got pneumonia.
7/15/16 Begin Kadcyla only every 3 weeks.
9/6/16 Begin radiation therapy on right lung lesion that caused the pneumonia.
10/3/16 Last of 12 radiation treatments to right lung.
11/4/16 Huffing and puffing, low O2, high heart rate, on tiniest bit of exertion. Diagnosed as radiation pneumonitis. Treated with Prednisone.
11/11/16 PET scan shows significant improvement to radiated part of right lung BUT a bunch of new lung lesions, and the bone met is getting worse.
11/22/16 Begin Eribulin and Herceptin. H every 3 weeks. E two weeks on, one week off.
3/6/17 Scan shows progression in lungs. Bone met a little better.
3/23/17 Lung biopsy. Tumor sampled is ER-, PR+ (5%), HER2+++. Getting Herceptin and Perjeta as a maintenance treatment.
5/31/17 Port placement
6/1/17 Start Navelbine & Tykerb
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