Bad News for Loving Daughter

LovingDaughter · 06-09-2006, 05:58 PM

My boyfriend and I have been taking care of my mother through her whole ordeal with her-2 positive breast cancer. We finally started getting a routine in place when my boyfriend found out that his dad has colon cancer. The doctors rushed him in for emergency surgery, but he had complications because he had a "hole" in his intestine as a result of the procedure. My boyfriend is an absolute mess. So now we drop mom off for chemo/checkups etc., go visit his dad, pick up mom, take care of her after chemo etc. My boyfriend's father is his best friend--he's been crying a lot.

My boyfriend and I are only 25. I still considered myself to be a kid before this all happened, but have had to grow up very quickly.

Thoughts and prayers for my boyfriend and his father would be greatly appreciated.

RhondaH · 06-09-2006, 06:10 PM

you ARE a baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care and God bless

Rhonda

LOPSIDED · 06-09-2006, 07:27 PM

LIFE CAN BE SO STRESSFUL. DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME. YOUR MOTHER & BOYFRIEND ARE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU. TAKE CARE SHEILA

al from Canada · 06-09-2006, 09:22 PM

without divulging my age (who cares anyways?), when I was growing-up, say under 30, I can't think of one of my friends who lost a parent to cancer. All my kids know at least 6-7 DIFFERENT friends, all of which have lost a parent to this disease. Loving daughter, this wasn't written to to make you feel better as misery really doesn't like company BUT, my heart really goes out to you, your boy friend and parents. People so young shouldn't have to have their relations tested with this kind of stress. Try to turn these crisis into relationship building opportunities as, although stressfull, you both have some middle ground. Sorry to hear this and wishing your families the best.
Al

sarah · 06-10-2006, 12:54 AM

It's very sad to hear that you and your boyfriend are going through so much at such a young age and that you both have parents that are very ill. I know I speak for others on the website, we will be hoping to hear good news from you and that the treatments are working.
Your parents are lucky to have such caring children and you and your boyfriend are lucky to have each other to lean on at this difficult time.
Stay strong, stay healthy.
sarah

rinaina · 06-10-2006, 07:07 AM

You have my thoughts and prayers and may you find the strength you need to continue your great support for your mom and now your boyfriend.

LovingDaughter · 06-10-2006, 09:49 AM

Thank you all for caring so much. I feel so fortunate to have found this site. It's nice to know that so many people out there care and are willing to help each other.

I hope that this whole ordeal brings my boyfriend and I closer together. Right now, it is all very overwhelming though.

Al--I have thought often about the fact that many of my friends have already lost a parent, but yet most of my mother's friends are still caring for both of theirs. It is really unfair, but I know that life isn't fair. I try to stay positive, but sometimes it's just hard when you have so many things hitting you at once.

I will keep all of you posted if things get better. Hopefully they will.

Stephanie · 06-10-2006, 11:51 AM

I'm sorry about your mom and your boyfriend's father. I know how hard this can be. I'm the primary caregiver for my mom, who is Stage IV. She was diagnosed right after my father died of pancreatic cancer. Also, my father-in-law just died of prostate cancer last October. We went through a period where both my father-in-law and my mom would be in the hospital at the same time, would have scans on the same days, chemo on the same days, etc. It was a bit of a logistical challenge. I'm an only child, and I also have two small children to take care of. So I know the stress you are feeling. I'm sorry.

You asked in another post if there were ever any get-togethers for the HER2 group. Every October, the HER2 people who live in the San Diego area get together for brunch for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So if you ever had the urge to vacation in San Diego, you could combine it with that.

I see that you're in Columbus, OH. My mom and I were suppossed to fly to Columbus last weekend for a 50th wedding anniversary celebration, but had to cancel at the last minute b/c my mom was too sick to travel. It's so frustrating how the cancer can really seem to control one's life at times.