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Requoting from Andi. So poetic and words to LIVE by...Thanks Andi!!
Live as if you are fine, knowing that you are not.
Death is the overriding truth of life but it need not be its constant companion.
My safety net is gone.
I feel, as all people in remission do, that each time I fly my hand may slip from the trapeze.
But to live earthbound is to give the cancer more than it deserves.
I was never taught that God promises us forever.
Each day is graced with beauty, with the certainty that this world is not all.
I am not owed more years.
I do, however, desperately wish for them.
I am grateful for the time I have been given.
I am scared it is running out.
And I pray with a new intensity
-- not that I will be promised a cure, but that I won't waste my waiting in fear.
I owe it to my family, my community and to God not to be done before I really am done.
__________________
6/6/2015-Found a lump in my L breast at 45 years young.
6/12/2015-First u/s
7/2015-Mammogram and 2nd u/s (same day)
8/7/2015-Needle aspiration u/s biopsy. Doctor indicated looked malignant. (thanks doc!! the wait after that sucked)
8/20/2015-Diagnosed w ER+,PR+,HER2+ BC in L breast (now 46 years young.)
9/24/2015-Saw first surgeon, referred by oncologist. Great guy. Office staff not advocates.
10/12/2015-Met w Plastic Surgeon. Amazing doctor. Recommended not immediate due to chemo and 'just get the cancer out first' attitude. Will do recon with him after chemo is complete.
10/12/2015-Called first surgeon's office who told me that it's been too long since the first consult and will need to schedule another consult on 10/24 and then schedule surgery within 2-3 AFTER that date. (BITE ME)
10/12-Found a new surgeon.
10/15-Consulted with new FEMALE surgeon. She was AMAZING! Asked me if I wanted to do the surgery on Monday (in 5 days). Stunned and thrilled!!
10/26/15-Surgery for bilateral mastectomy, port placed, and 3 nodes removed for SNB. 3 drains installed.
10/28/15-home from the hospital to recover.
10/30/2015-Follow up with surgeon. Drains removed. Was told tumor was removed but had more than doubled in size from 1.3 to 2.9cm. 3 nodes removed, all negative. Healthy breast was clear but several suspicious areas on affected left breast. Looks to be Stage 2A. Oncologist appt next week.
11/5/2015-Follow up with oncologist. Planning to start chemotherapy (Herceptin, Taxotere, and Carboplatin together beginning November 30th). Very nervous about side effects, low white blood count, anemia, steriods, etc, etc, etc. I'm not usually one to medicate myself for anything. Not ready for this. Kinda scared.
11/30/2015 - Isaiah 41:10 today for sure. Today was my first day (round) of TCH chemo treatment. Before receiving the cocktail, I saw the doctor who delivered the news that my CT scans (abdomen, chest, and pelvis were all clear). Praise God!! Feeling okay right now after chemo, just a bit sleepy. We'll see how the Neulasta, along with the other effects, rear their lovely heads over the next few days. Prayers please, as always.
12/17/2015-Decided it was time to shave my head and face the music.
1/11/2016-Went in for 3rd treatment. UGG. Spoke to the doctor first. Asked him to reduce the Decadron. Agreed! From 10mg to 4mg dosage. YAY! It still worked and I was able to rest and live. Praise God. I jokingly told him if he felt like dropping some of my treatment, to feel free. Guess what?! He agreed! Agreed to drop my 6th treatment meaning that I now only have 2 left and in March I'll be able to begin the reconstruction process. Additionally, he agreed to schedule me for a brain MRI to just double check for any spread. Anxiously awaiting.
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