How Have You Demonstrated Thanks For Help?

[KDR]

(Especially for those with children). How have you demonstrated thanks for the help your friends and community have given you in terms of help with your child or children...whether it be picking them up from school, taking them to appointments, birthday parties, etc. I feel so indebted to those who have pitched in and do my best to gift my helpers and remember them in ways I know they might personally appreciate. I have wondered, though, how I'll ever repay some of the kindest and long-term commitments people have made for me.
Thanks,
Karen

[BonnieR]

Karen, they likely don't want to be repaid. They did those things out of love and caring. I find it difficult to just accept kind gestures and say thank you. I always want to do something in return. But in this case, the best payback would be to pay it forward. By you doing the good deed for someone who needs it. Keep the chain going!

[Becky]

Bonnie really said it - give back to others over the years that become ill. I cooked for months for a neighbor I barely knew who got ovarian cancer and have brought meals over to those who have a heart attack etc.

I did buy nice or funny "I'm thinking about you" cards for those who helped me out telling them how great the "meal" was or the ride home from school for one of my daughters was.

One woman who had little children did alot for me. I sent her kids a tin of 5 way popcorn. Kids love getting things in the mail and it was the only thing I bought because I knew her kids would love it.

[ElaineM]

Bonnie said it. Pass on the kindness !!!!!!!!
I try to help other folks in the doctor's office if they seem to be having a problem or are aprehensive about their treatment. Nurses some times ask me to hold somebody's hand during chemo if they see me around the office, especially if the needle hurts.
My neigbbor found out he has lung cancer while he was in the hospital for a heart attack. He is doing chemo now. I try to put helpful things on his door--------a few healthy non perishable low sodium snacks once in awhile, a Patient Resources Guide (He loved that.) etc. I chat with him when I see him around our building and he is in the mood. He deals with alot of side effects and stays by himself alot.
I send Valentine's cards to those who have been helpful to me. I offer people something towards gas when they give me rides. I might take someone who helped me out to lunch or send them a birthday card if I know when their birthday is.

[caya]

Karen, I agree with everyone else. Most people are happy to be able to help out, they are usually at such a loss what to do for you.
Just keep thanking them, and pay it forward. If you want to, and feel up to it, you can always bake some cookies/brownies/squares etc., go to the dollar store for some plastic containers, and hand them out to those special people you want to thank.

all the best
caya

[Jackie07]

Two sisters of my former church started 'operation MM's rescue' in 2003 when they learned about my BC diagnossis. They had received a lot of help from other members when their mother was diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer. So with the pastor's encouragement, they organized members to take turns bringing me meals three times a week. Six families rotated every two weeks...

They (the two sisters) still bring me a lunch box from time to time. Last Thanksgiving, when I was invited to the younger sister's new house for dinner, I saw the heart-shaped deco I gave them as a house-warming gift hanging on the wall of their dining room.

Once in a while (when I'm feeling good enough), I'd make a spice cake for the church...

[sarah]

I think a thoughtful, heartfelt note or card is good because it's something that lasts. I also tend to give boxes of chocolate and flowers.
and I agree to be there for them when they need help and others.
It's part of the reason that when I was asked to help start an English speaking support group here in France, I jumped right in because I felt it was a way of giving back. I think that's how everyone in the support group feels.
stay well
health and happiness
love sarah

[NEDenise]

Hmmm...
Big surprise! Karen is thinking of others! NO wonder your friends and family want to help you!

I totally agree about "paying it forward"...and about a little note to say thanks. Usually, I'd agree that it's best not to "owe" favors. But in this case, I think most people view being able to help as a "blessing to them"...they want to make your journey easier.

Having said that...I have to admit, it's easier said than done.

Most of my help came from my work colleagues. I know they didn't expect a formal thank you. Some of the meals actually came with a note attached "warning" me not to "waste time thanking them".

So, since I don't take direction well, to thank them for all the delicious meals, cards, flowers...I filled a laundry basket with snacks and fruit...tied on a thank you note, and a few festive, thank you balloons...and left it on the counter in the office. It was very well received, and because of the wonders of Costco...was very easy to do.

Friends from church...they all got big hugs, and a promise to pay it forward. (Our church is a pretty close knit community.)

My sister...does not tolerate being thanked. So, instead, I shower her kids with love and attention...watch them when she has work, but they don't have school...and try to be the same sister I've always been...just the sleepy, bald version.

Hmmm...re-reading this, I realize that I first said it was unnecessary to formally thank the people who help...then proceeded to tell you what I do to thank them. Muddied that water right up, huh?!

No need to thank me.
Denise