death

HavahJ · 01-13-2007, 07:33 PM

Does everyone with metastatic breast cancer eventually die from it? earlier or later? Did you ever hear of anyone with it who actually got rid of it? Feeling pretty blue. On top[ of that almost noone ever responds to my questions. I'm presently having a big M.S. attack because a cancer doc gave me the wrong kind of head radiation. This is my second different breast cancer which is metastisized into an inoperable skull tumor. I'm alone and having a really bad time. Bye

sabpri · 01-13-2007, 09:02 PM

I think I have read that there are cases of people with mets that have gone in to remission for more than 15 years, and there is a % (not sure what it is) that it never comes back. I am so sorry that you are feeling blue, and that no one seems to respond to your posts.

Wanted to send a Big CYBER Hug to you and let you know that you are not alone. They said I had Bone Mets, so I understand the whole mets nightmare. I am going to say that I will be one of those people who get rid of mets forever, because I beleive you should always err on the side of hope. Let's hope both of us will be in those good stats!

Sending Love and Hugs your way!

Natalie

AlaskaAngel · 01-13-2007, 09:10 PM

HavahJ, I'm probably not the best one to answer that question, but there are more and more people with bc, a fair number of them here too, who are passing the best "estimates" they have been given. Being alone can be hard when you are trying to handle bc, but I'm glad you do come here.

AlaskaAngel

Bev · 01-13-2007, 09:13 PM

Steph has done brain mets. Gina, Lolly, Tricia and many others are stage 4 and hanging in there. So sorry for any downturns. Please keep fighting for all of us. Bev

MGordon · 01-13-2007, 09:27 PM

HavahJ -

I commit to you right now that never again will you not recieve a response to a post. I may not be the wealth of information that members like Al from Canada are, but I will be here for you!

Take heart - Brain Mets are not a death sentence! Look no further than Christine Druther! Advances in medicine are furthering the battle every day! Drugs like Herceptin and Tykerb and treatments like CyberKnife and GammaKnife were not even available just a few years ago - and they are kicking cancer butt as I type!

But I also have to say that the medical profession is not your primary weapon! Faith, Hope and Love - and the greatest of these is Love!

I will pray for you tonight and until we "chat" again!

Love and Light

Catherine · 01-13-2007, 09:49 PM

Cyber hugs to you. Thank goodness for the computer and the telephone. I am sorry that you are having an alone time and a blue time. I am glad that you reached out to us. I do not post all that much, as I do not feel like I have enough knowledge to share. But we lurkers and small posters care about you.

Please brew a cup of tea or pour a small glass of wine and toast us and toast yourself. And Sunday morning call a good friend and continue to reach out.

All the best, Catherine

lexigirl · 01-13-2007, 11:10 PM

HavahJ,

I don't have an answer for your question but wanted to send you a big hug. You are not alone. We are all in this boat together. United we stand bc sister!

Hugs and Prayers,
Lexi

tricia keegan · 01-14-2007, 03:54 AM

Havah I'm sorry you feel so alone right now.

I don't have the info you asked for as I'm not as clued in as some of the other memebers here but just wanted to tell you we do care and I truely hope you're feeling better soon.
Please keep fighting,sometimes we need to go right down so we can come back up stronger and more determined.
Hugs
Tricia

sarah · 01-14-2007, 05:33 AM

Dear Havh,
So sorry you feel so alone and depressed. Where do you live? I am far from knowledgeable about cancer or HER2 but I am so sorry for not at least not acknowledging your posts. It seems to me that a lot of people on this site with stage IV and with IBC have survived a miraculous amount of time.
There's a quote that goes something like this "It's not the years that count but making the years count"
We are NOT our disease. ask your doctor about anti-depressants and get on an exercise regime at a gym - that way you'll interact with other people and boast your - oh chemo brain ! - those positive feelings.
My father was a doctor and in my teens - typically of teens I wondered why I was here and what help could I do for the world and therefore felt useless and was 'depressed." well my dad took me on his rounds which included people with a muscular distropy that made their arms and legs blow up like a balloon and they had trouble talking and it was hard to understand them. well they were so postive - one had written a book and been rejected and so was rewriting it - he was writing it with a pencil attached to his forehead that he taped out the letters. well their spirit of optimism, given the overwhelming difficulties they had, made me feel if they could do it, so could I.
Therefore let me give you a big cyber hug and a push to get out there and help someone who has worse problems and less advantages than you have - helping others is one of the best ways of feeling better. Believe me, I know that one.
You have ltos of friends on this site who are there to help you through this difficult time. you are not alone. I'll look for your future postings and try to respond.
love and hugs
sarah

Sheila · 01-14-2007, 07:16 AM

Havahj
You are never alone with all of us here...we are all in this together, cheering each other on with each new advancement and report, and lending a hug to each bit of bad news...this disease is a roller coaster, I have been riding it for almost 5 years, 3 1/2 as stage 4....I never liked roller coasters, but once I climbed aboard this one (not by my wish), I vowed to myself to keep riding and not get off....it is the only thing I have control over...will I come to a time when I've had enough???? I hope not, but that is not in my hands. I have faith that this is part of a bigger plan for me, and accept it as such....if I am able to help one other person by having this myself, then my mission has served a purpose.
We are all with you, because we are all in the same boat. Sending you a big hug and lots of caring love.

Mary Anne in TX · 01-14-2007, 07:18 AM

Hi Havah!

Sometimes this cancer thing is really the pits! I spent a lot of the first year in fear that it would spread, that I would die, that no one cared, all kinds of stuff! I have just decided to believe in out running this thing by thinking positively, having faith in God and my great doctors, and just living each day as it comes.

I have this silly thing called "dolphin moments". One morning when I was particularly down and depressed, I looked out the bedroom window (we live on a canal) to see a dolphin swimming back and forth. I got so excited! I raced downstairs to get a better look. My depression was gone. One of God's little critters had stolen my heart! It was the first time I saw a dolphin in the canal. Since then it has happened a couple of more times. (They usually stay out in the bay) The next time there were 5 dolphins and they stayed right behind my little condo fishing for about 5 minutes. I was in heaven.

After that first incredible time with the dolphin, I noticed that God was providing "dolphin moments" each day. Sometimes it was a call from a friend with some good news or just a warm hello. Sometimes it was a few minutes on the phone with one of my grandchildren. Sometimes it was a sweet song on the radio or a movie on TV that touched my heart. I began to pay closer attention to those "dolphin moments" each day. Kinda - "stop and smell the roses" I guess! It has really worked for me.

May today be a dolphin day for you. May God bless you with some of his amazing creatures or creations that can lift you out of the blues. Lots of love and hugs to you, ma

kimber · 01-14-2007, 07:23 AM

I have no answers. BUT, I do have lots of love and prayers that I am sending to you!!!

- kim

rinaina · 01-14-2007, 07:52 AM

HavahJ, like all others here, I lend my support to you. Please try to replace your depression with positive thoughts and feelings. I know for a fact that a positive attitude and belief can make such a difference in a person's health while depression and stress deteriorate a person's health. I know it is difficult and we all have our down moments, this is normal, but as someone else said, we have to pick ourselves right back up and focus on beating this disease. For me, it is mind over matter, I refuse to believe that this cancer is going to win out over me. I am too much of a fighter. And let's not forget all the great drugs and new findings now and in our not so distant future. Please don't give up hope. I am sorry you had problems with no responses here in the past....I don't think that will happen again. Everyone here is so supportive. I hope all the responses you received will help strengthen you and your outlook.

Andi · 01-14-2007, 09:34 AM

HavaJ, I am sorry you are feeling blue. We have all been there at one time or another. I just recently had a recurrence, so have been reading up a bit on things. In Dr Susan Love's book, she says that recent studies suggest that in certain situations where the recurrence is limited and the woman can be rendered disease free with multidisciplinary treatments, 3-30 percent of women with metastatic breast cancer can be put into remission for over 20 years. Well, I'm hoping and praying that you and I will both be one of those 3 - 30 percent. I know it's difficult when life throws us a curve like this, but try to think positive thoughts and make every day special in some small way. You will be in my prayers.

Sherryg683 · 01-14-2007, 11:15 AM

I am so sorry you are feeling so alone. I can relate. I am surrounded by my husband and 2 lovely children and still I feel totally alone. I sometimes just don't want to come out of the covers. Then I have my good days when I feel fresh and ready to fight. I have to believe that not everyone dies from this disease, it does take from us so much anyway. We just have to get up and put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath and live. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and praying you feel better..sherryg683

suzan w · 01-14-2007, 12:41 PM

a quick message of "Hi" to you! I know sometimes it does feel like we are completely alone with this...even when surrounded by friends and family! Glad that you reached out because it does show that we are never really "alone"...we have each other!!!

Adriana Mangus · 01-14-2007, 12:45 PM

Gordon and Sheila: What a wonderful response you two posted to HavaJ.

HavaJ: We all have been fighting, do not think too much whether you are going to live or die.. It does not matter, you need to live your life to the fullest....NOW!!! You need to concentrate and all those good things around you, whether is friends, family, children, parents, etc.

Read Stephn story, she's from the Washington area, and she's such a nice lady, positive and for someone who's been through a lot!! you would never expect this type of attitude, desire to get better and stamina to continue living.

Do not give up, and please stay in touch I have never seeing you on the board, or I would have responded to you long time ago...I'M SENDING YOU A BIG BEAR HUG.

Sandy H · 01-14-2007, 01:37 PM

Havah, as others have said, I am sorry no one responded to your post. I don't remember your post but I doubt if it will ever happen again. I don't have brain, organ or bone mets however, I have been battling skin mets to the chest wall for 5 years now. They are mets on the skin of the chest. I started out with Inflammatory breast cancer, ER/PR neg. but Her2 pos. stage 111b. I was given NO survivoral time 6 years ago!! Well, I am still here with only skin mets which are stable with Tykerb/Xeloda. The only positive thing I had going for me I was Her2 which allowed me to use Herceptin. Don't get discouraged with the stats as I did at first. There are new drugs coming out and treatment options are improving. I can suggest you need to know your body and let your doctor know when something doesn't seem right. Do your research for yourself and be in control like Sheila said. You will get some good help here so keep in touch. Sending you another cyber hug. Sandy

mslinda · 01-14-2007, 02:01 PM

Dear Havah:

I don't usually post much, but try to come to this site every day. I am sending you hugs, and I promise to pray for you often. You just keep up your spirits and tell this cancer you are going to beat it.

Linda

Kim in CA · 01-14-2007, 02:23 PM

Dearest Havah,

I'm sure sorry you have felt so down lately. I haven't been posting much these days, and always feel badly to find out someone has been feeling so alone. Please know that you are not alone and we really do care about all of our Her2 family. I have metastatic BC and I'm still here, ten years next month!

Sending you a cyber Hug from California, Kim