CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC -- hear me out...

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

HEY VAL-- YOU'RE AN AMAZING GAL! Brenda, you rock. Flori and Kate -- I am standing by your side!

Love your Spirit. Love your LIST! When everything seems to be out of control (our *life* and our bodies) -- what we CAN control is our response to this horrid reality. I chose, as you, to be strong, brave and determined. To live with joy and serenity (knowing I was calling my desired destiny to me with my chosen attitude and my BELIEF). I wasn't to give up a single day to feeling sad or defeated!

From Day 2 -- I would give clear instructions to my body to HEAL, my hand over my malignant breast, sending focused energy specifically to the target area, full of love and intention, to assist all surgery and treatment to eradicate the villian.

When I was first dx, in July '95, Christopher Reeve had just suffered his terrible, paralyzing accident. He could not walk, feed himself, bathe himself, go to the bathroom himself or even breathe on his own. I IMMEDIATELY FELT *LUCKY*. Truly. (My mom was in a nursing home in much the same shape as Chris, w/the addl burden of not knowing who she was or who I was.) I totally felt -- 4th stage bc is scary beyond belief, but I am blessed. It could have been so much worse. I still feel this way.

If one person as survived the kind of met bc I have -- I can survive. YOU can survive. I cleave to that Knowing w/ea beautiful day I wake up alive.

My relationships, w/my husband, my daughters, my friends, my sister have become more deeply appreciated and enhanced by the reality of my battle w/cancer and mortality. Nothing is taken for granted. The truest of friends rose to the top. And even people I thought wouldn't even remember me, and total strangers, have shown such compassion and love, it never fails to blow me away. I get more hugs and I love yous than ever before. And I give more as well! I am more open. More understanding. More nurturing. More giving of myself. More awed by Life than ever before.

These people look like they're in pain, aware of my situation, and I smile gently and inform them that it could be so much worse and I have every Expectation of Surviving! After all these years, they are starting to believe me, and expect me to report back with STABLE after my scans and such. (I wanted to appease them, and I hungrily wanted their POSITIVE energy to go out into the Universe in my behalf.) We are all working (with the power of our thoughts and the power of our love) to boost the effects of the miraculous Vitamin H to keep me alive.

I thank God every day for the opportunity to fight for my life. VAL, you wondrous Spirit you -- your succinct words are treasures! I related to each and every one!!!!! You, and my Soul Sisters on this board, are MY HEROES! You never fail to amaze me with your ability to rally, each of you having fought your way through unimaginable setbacks. I love you all, with all my heart! I applaud you all! I bow to you all! (Women in *normal/civilian* life so often seem superficial, unaware of what a real problem is, or what it takes to get through a day.) LUCKY US. We've gleaned Life Lessons that enrich our experience here on Earth and have made us live with more Grace and resolve than we ever thought possible. We can't recapture the old normal, but if you think about it -- much of what we have gained could not have been achieved in the old normal way. We have grown, expanded our awareness and evolved in to a magnificent new level of consciousness. We've paid a dear price, but -- can't you see how fortunate we are? We've each reached down deep and found an incredible force that keeps us impelled forward and upward. Sending my love and admiration to your wonderful Warrior Women (especially the ones who were recently *re-upped*!). More power to you!
Andi