Finding your power...!

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

The Big Me = Spirit and Consciousness. Awareness, as The Witness.

The little me = ego. It's more reactive than responsive. It takes life personally.

We all need to reach for our Higher Selves (vs our basest or lower selves).

In my worst moments, I try to remember -- I am disconnected. From my Spirit. From my Truest Self. Which makes us feel alone, isolated, anxious, exasperated and out of control.

We find our power when we align ourselves, and identify ourselves as a radiant Spirit, with a mind and a body. Then we feel full of Love, Joy, Serenity, Oneness, Compassion, Generosity, Awe and Gratitude for the tiniest of our blessings.

We live in a great country. Free. We can walk and talk, feed and bathe ourselves, read a book, write, breathe on our own. And the sky -- it is so glorious! Have you noticed????

[Firework]

Yeah, whenever I take one too many pain pills! Just kidding, thanks for the pep talk!

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Your Spirit is your most precious possession.

It directs your mind. It loves you more than you do. It wants to guide and protect you. Nurture you; support you in every unimaginable way.

In The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy, he says that whatever you habitually think sinks down into your subconscious mind, which then creates (according to the nature of your thoughts).

The subconscious mind is the seat of your emotions. How you think will determine how you will feel (happy pills aside))...

Once the subconscious mind accepts an idea, it begins to execute it. Your behavior will change in accordance.

I say out loud every day, THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE.


I look up and smile with gratitude. I tell my body, STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. HEALTHY AND WELL! NO MORE CANCER. I do this several times a day.

I KNOW my subconscious is my faithful servant. It will direct my body. And my body will obey.

I believe in the power of my subconscious to heal, uplift and strengthen me! Change your thoughts, change your destiny.

And it is also true -- anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds help me sleep well and live with more joy. Studies show that sleep is essential to our well-being. It is time the body takes to repair damage. We owe it to ourselves to get a good night's sleep every single day.

Wishing you all wellness and peace.

Remember -- you are in charge. You are the Captain of your Soul. The Master of your Fate! Honest to goodness!!

Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

It's important, I've learned, to distinguish between the voice in my head vs my Inner Voice. That is the channel my Spirit speaks to me on. It is full of Love, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness, Generosity, Awe, humble Gratitude, caring Guidance and remarkable Support. That is my Higher Self talking to me. It is divinely wise and timelessly Present.

The voice in my head represents my primal self, my basest self. That voice is full of pride and jealousies, it criticizes and belittles me, blames, lacks self-confidence and so has a false sense of superiority. It judges all (me most harshly). It taunts me, making my head spin and my heart hurt. It worries and frets all day long. Oh, and it is full of fear.


I came upon Full of Beans thread --Life is a celebration. Wow what courage that woman has. How eloquently she touches our Souls. She wrote:
'Life is a celebration of that which we can do, not a requiem for that which we can not do'


I just wanted to let you know that despite my face edema and the blood clot and risk involved (not medically insured) I did go to my friend's wedding in Turkey and I had a fabulous time. My face is still causing me pain when I look at it, but hey it is another experience I suppose.

Many time I have felt sad and TV marketing and facebook makes you feel as if you have little to hold on to comparatively to you peers.. it is easy to feel like a looser:no financial securities..no health.. no lover or perfect family and behaved children). My friends all seem to be going on to better and greater things and I feel that in all that time I have been surviving,

Instead one should always celebrate what it is he can do: I have survived almost 7 years with metastatic cancer and left no stone unturned, I have learned a lot, mostly about myself and I can still stand straightwith love and compassion in my heart. You all have amazed me on this board and show so much spirit, thank you for I was learning.
__________________
When someone reminds us of our Oneness, it is a beautiful experience. All living things have a Soul. When we feel the Soul of our beingness, we find ourselves on a path to finding our Spirit, Grace and Love, which is a part of our mission here.


Full of Beans helped remind me of my power...


Andi

[Ellie F]

Totally agree Andi. I was only thinking of FOB today and thought it was a while since she posted.
Ellie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

People are always asking me what exactly I do when I meditate. I am happy to share.

I sit in a comfy chair or lie on my bed. I close my eyes and focus only on my breath. I dismiss every thought that occurs instantly. Just keep batting them away like flies.

No mind. Only breath. Take life-affirming in through my nose, sucking it in to the count of 7. Then hold on to that breath. Ground myself in The Now -- to the count of 7. Finally, blow that air out through pursed lips, kissing it goodbye along with letting go of any and all that is negative in me (in my head and in my body)... To the count of 7.

Just keep repeating that for about 10 minutes.

Sometimes I start imagining myself in my favorite place in the world. For some this is a beach, for me it is a wooded area I was led to when I was 15 years old, in the Poconos of New York.

I instantly become transported. To that treasured, radiantly glorious spot -- and -- to the feelings and emotions I experienced all those many years ago.

I go to this spot when I have CT scans or MRIs, when I am forced to wait (anywhere) and before or after I do the breathing thing.

Remember your wondrous spot that filled you with awe and joy? See it in vivid detail. The sky, the ground, to the right and the left of you. Smell it. Listen... Were there certain sounds? The trickling or stirring of water? Birds chirping? Rustling? Can you feel a breeze? Return there any time you wish. You are free to do that.

And when you return to reality, the wonder of that experience will remain with you. For hours... Then go out and create a great day for yourself. Despite all the unwanted inconveniences and stresses that Life seems to come with.

How we choose to process the realities we are given determines how we will feel. Perspective is key. THOUGHT precedes all emotion. So, I am careful about what I allow myself to ponder and dwell on all day.

It's really really hard some times to reject the awfulness of situations and the constant stream of thoughts and ideas that come from that angry voice in our heads. But, the power of your Inner Voice, which is your truest Self, or your Spirit, is far far greater...!

I KNOW I must consciously choose to listen to my Higher Self. Most of the time. Yes, and sometimes, I forget...

But if I am feeling rotten and distressed, I try to remind mySelf that -- OH, I'm -- disconnected! That's what's wrong! I'm misaligned. Misidentifying myself as that harping voice in my head. WE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A BODY AND A MIND... We are each a luminous Soul with the might to rise above the chaos and become The Witness. Observing from above, separate from our trials and their consequent emotions.

I wish you happiness and harmony, the ability to see how sweet Life is and the power to "suck out all the marrow of life", as Thoreau so beautifully put it. To feel alive!

Or as e.e. cummings wrote, "If 180 million people want to be undead, that's their funeral, but I happen to like being alive"...

Here's to Life!!!!!!!

Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I posted this in another thread -- CONTROLLING PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO STRESS. I felt it was so important I had to put that info in here...

Okay Ellie, I have been thinking about what you wrote all day. We cannot avoid stress. Yes, stress that paralyzes you is full of fear, and I believe that is humanity's worst enemy. Not the canser, but FEAR. The emotions that come from that emotion are highly toxic.

I believe whatever illness/dysfunction we develop as a result strikes our genetically weakest area. I had a paternal grandmother and paternal aunt who had bc.

Yes, w/a positive attitude whatever time you have is more joyful for sure!! But, I know people who had a positive attitude but deep into the night, their stress came out, as is common in the middle of the night when you feel totally alone in the darkness.

So as I pondered your words today I realized that though (between '95 and '98) I was positive, indeed grateful yet not cocky, I wasn't on guard. And I mean that in an amazingly good way.

After '98 I was on guard at the tower. I offered my gratitude more often and out loud. I spoke to my body non-stop, all day, every day. I made my Intention and my Expectation vividly clear, in words and with mental pictures. And I have read that these 2 ingredients are spiritually essential to our health!!

And deep in the night, when the pain in arm where the 21 lymph nodes were removed, I have recently read something quite life-altering. Ken Wilbur again, in The Simple Feeling Of Being, speaks of blocks we develop. And we feel it in our gut, in our chest, other places I didn't relate to as readily so can't recall at the moment.

So, I've been speaking to my body deep in the night, when the pain in my arm comes. I stroke it and speak to it. I address my pain and its derivation. I tell myself -- it's okay to feel that fear and sadness you felt in '95. It's okay to let those feelings up and out. It's okay to let them go. Let them go. And I stroke my arm, and you know what????? The pain has been absent for about 4 nights now. Incredibly gone.

My buried thoughts and feelings about the loss of my breast and the pain like a tourniquet tied too tightly around my arm, choking it needed to stop blocking up my system. I needed to release all that. And to cognizantly acknowledge it -- finally -- and reassure myself that it is alright to admit to that feeling of frailty and vulnerability. I don't have to be strong and brave 24/7. It's okay.

I do embrace each day. I do live with love. Hugs. Expressing my love in many ways, to those I love and to strangers. And I believe that energy is returned to us. I do it to give back, to fulfill our purpose in Life, to help one another. I talk to people as if they are friends, and they become friends.

I used to be so shy. I wouldn't speak up. Now, I talk a lot. As you might guess. I find out the most amazing things. People open up to me and they have Messages for me, and I for them.

And right, Ellie, let's not waste a single day feeling sad or separate. Life is too precious. Valerie and Sarah and Bunty know this to name but a few!

Keep talking to your body! Remember -- it hears everything you think or whisper or say. It sees what you see. And it obeys your subtlest of directions!!!

Love and Light,

Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Words of comfort at a difficult time. We all mourn the passing on of our much loved Sister, Brenda...

She came and taught us so much. By example. With passion, devotion, tenacity, courage, inner strength, a hunger to learn, to support, inspire and share! What a remarkable Spirit Brenda is!

i was dead
i came alive
i was tears
i became laughter
all because of love
when it arrived
my temporal life
from then on
changed to eternal
- Rumi


The thought of death leaves me in perfect peace,
for I have a firm conviction that our spirit
is a being of indestructible nature;
it works on from eternity to eternity,
it is like the sun, which though
it seems to set to our mortal eyes,
does not really set, but shines on perpetually.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe -


I too have a firm conviction that our Spirit is indestructable. We return to "our Original Face, the one we had before the Big Bang, before our parents were born" (to paraphrase Ken Wilbur). I always find that concept stunning. It awakens a remembering in me...

There is no death, only transition. Our Spirit connects us to the Source of everything, the eternal field of consciousness that placed its divine energy there to guide and protect us, to keep seeking knowledge and awareness...

Deepak Chopra, Gary Zucav, Eckhart Tolle and so many ancient Seers say we are each here to discover our Truest Self. We are spiritual Beings on a human quest. We have manifested in human form to learn and grow, expand and love. Evolution is an ongoing process and we are each needed to continue to help create the world.

I find that it's incredibly liberating and empowering to see the world through the eyes of your Soul.

Each death is another awakening. Death is a migration of the Spirit. Eternity does not start with death, we are in Eternity now...

Brenda still is! The Heavens are sining a little brighter now that she has moved on. We will miss her, but we will meet again...

[tricia keegan]

Thats wonderful Andi!

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Canser isn't a horrible foe.

It wins when you give your power away -- to fear and sadness. I say, consciously use your power of choice. Don't allow those passionately energized emotions rule your life.

I don't hate canser. It is a stupid mindless dysfunction of the body. I spend my time and energy focused on healing and being well and alive. I use my power for good (like Superman/SuperWoman)!

I seek to embrace: Love, compassion, understanding, caring, thoughtfulness, generosity of Spirit and my time!

I try to remain full of Awareness and in awe of my many blessings and the beauty of this world. (I can walk and talk, feed and bathe myself) The colors of nature delight me! They are alive with energy. I let my energy mingle with that awesome force of Life. I feel my Oneness...

I try to be, forgiving (the noblest and most challenging of human goals)! I am always humbly gratitude! I say, Thank you for my life with all my heart every single day.

I Know that being connected to my Spirit (my Higher Self, my divine connection to my Source) is where I need to place my attention, all day, all night, every day, every night.

I've been gifted with Personal Authentic Empowerment since the moment I drew my first breath. As have YOU! Claim your birthright.

All this arms you against this canser thing and all adversities in Life. We can find joy and serenity, even in the midst of battling for our life. Survival is an art. A mindset.

From first being dx, I have felt compelled to live AS IF what I wanted and what I was working my way toward manifesting in this world -- ALREADY existed.

I KNEW I was drawing my desired outcome to myself, with the power of my thoughts, with my every word and act.

I Know that my body hears everything I think, say or whisper. It takes it all quite seriously. Its' job is to follow your mind's commands.

The Universe also senses, and responds to, the energy we emit. It responds IN KIND.

Call loving energy to yourSelf! Stop hating. Stop giving your power away. Please.

Troll the ideas banging around in your brain. Summarily reject all the noxious ones. They are poisoning your life.

Listen to your Inner Voice, not the noise of others who may be full of education and experience but are overcome by the lousy statistics. That's not a place you want to inhabit.

You are a walking miracle. Make it your business to prove the doom and gloomers wrong. Let the world see that miracles can and do happen. Be a miracle.

Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I just had to bring this thread back up. There's so much empowerment in here. Midst our struggle we tend to forget what we really need to focus on.

I hope this entire thread, which includes a post from our beloved Chrisy and refers to the loss of Brenda, our dear Sister, will lift someone on this board up!

NedDenise once asked me if I was a cheerleader. Well, yes in high school. But as a kid at camp, playing baseball, when my team was up, and sitting on the bench, I was working. Jumping up and down and rooting for the next batter up! You can do this! I know you can! Just relax. Focus. I was 8 yrs old.

Now, I've come to think we each need a Life Coach. Wouldn't that be cool?????!!!! Well, what I've learned is that your Inner Voice is your Spirit, and it coaches you through the big and little things that come up each day, throughout the day.

It is wise and loves you more than you love yourself. It guides and protects you (kind of like the big brother I never had). It nurtures and boosts your morale. It supports you, inspires you, helps you heal -- and, if you allow it, can bring you to be The Master Of Your Fate...!!!

With Love, as always,

Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I JUST POSTED A NEW THREAD --
THE POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS.

I hope you find much in there to let percolate, inspire and empower you!



I'm going for my now annual CT scans
Thursday, June 13
I AM LUCKY 13 since '98...
I've made my Intention and Expectation
vividly clear
to my body
and to the Universe.

A few prayers wouldn't hurt.
))

[NEDenise]

And prayers you shall have, my dear friend!

May all the positive energy you send out...flow back to you doubled!
Thirteen is my lucky number too! I got married on the 13th of August! A great day, to be sure!

My quarterly CT is the following week...on the 20th...so right about the time you get the all clear...I'll be focusing on my upcoming all clear too!
Denise (aka "Neddy")

[KDR]

Dear Andi,
I'll be there in spirit, for sure, so many connections we have had and continue to have.
You know the rest,
With love,
Karen

[jacqueline1102]

Thoughts and prayers for both you, Andi, and Denise. Visualize the healing power within and all around you. And may the number 13 prove to be very lucky indeed.

Take care,

Jackie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

QUICK EXPLANATION -- re #13 for me.

When I was dx I was full of certainty that I would survive. Because of my weird spiritual revelation the day before my mastectomy. Did I tell you all about that? Must have. Somewhere...

Anyway, 3 yrs later when "I" caught my metastasis -- throughout my liver (liver enzymes very very slightly elevated, not to worry I kept hearing from docs) anyway, I digress. Who me? It's what I do.

My friend said to me, You'll be fine. I don't know, I offered warily. You did it before, you'll do it again. You don't understand, I explained (I'd been reading up) I have less than a 15% chance of surviving. Maybe for a year. My friend shot back, So there you go!!! You are #13. That's my lucky # and -- I'm giving it to you! You will be among the 15% who survive!

She went out and ordered a rhinestone pin #13 and in a short while gave it to me. I keep it by my sink, to look at and remind me every day.

Then the #13 started appearing in my life, and Paul's. At the bakery, I was #13. The medication to give myself daily injections (SIL doc came and did the honors) was Fed Exed to me. The man came to the door. I ran to answer the bell, left my glasses behind. He hands me the package and the clipboard. That's it. Just sign right here. I could barely see. He tapped the pen at the spot and said, Right here. YOU'RE #13. And on and on 13 kept coming into our lives.

We decided it was the Universe saying, You're going to be fine. You're #13. You're going to live! 13 is a sign. From the Universe!

So that's nice Neddy that you and I share this lucky #. Paul's license plate now has his initials -- and the number 13!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has proved to be a blessing...

ANDI

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

So, my update in -- THE POWER OF OUR THOUGHTS...

Life's a roller coaster. Ups and downs. I'm teetering at the top... preparing for tomorrow.

Frankly, I wouldn't get on a roller coaster if you paid me. Did that once (the Cyclone in Coney Island, age 15) and my knees shook and buckled for hrs after. Scared the hell out of myself!

But here I am, having another roller coaster moment. I'm holding on tight. Smiling. Gritting my teeth... Here we go...

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I'm going to post this in my thread -- the power of thoughts.

So if you'd like -- please please do!!

You know me, i think in long paragraphs. Lots to say...

Sending love and light,

andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Just had to resurrect this thread one more time. Lots of empowering info in here.

Was looking for my SQUARE BREATHING MEDITATION TECHNIQUE.

Failed on that score, but found all this good stuff, and think it's an oldie but goodie...

LOVE,
ANDI

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

In searching for my SURVIVOR'S thread, I came upon this.

Some have asked where it is.

Beats me.

But this is kind of on that topic.

Always thinking of you, my Sisters,
ANDI