Not good news..

[fullofbeans]

I asked to move the scan foward in the trial because my breathing & caughing is getting worse and lacking of energy..a lot.

anyhow wednesday i was told that there is a 17% increase and basically I am still in the trial because recist is saying 20% is progression.. but looking for another one before my health deteriorate further and i cannot enter any criteria.

But not good so here i am looking for clinical trial again and wondering what is it all for. I dont think i'll never be able to go on a trip again and the weather is awful here and in the minus (celsuis) so not even enjoying my walk with the dog.. I so know I am not the only one but I so not deserved that life.. i went at a diner with friends tonight and everyone was beaming with health, talking about their babies and future plans and their problems seemed wonderful to me. We played a game and unknown to them I was finding it so energy demanding that it was hard to enjoy it.

Anyhow I am holding on to the January feeling I had where when after a few weeks after starting the trial I felt so much more energy so quickly and could enjoy a great new year eve..

on the road again..