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In 25 minutes
I go see the onc about my latest CT from a week ago. I have had 4 rounds of Epirubicin/Cytoxan/Herceptin for the stupid liver business. My stomach is doing flip-flops. I just hate these visits and at the moment I am thinking of hopping in my car and driving DIA and getting on a plane to Mexico instead of going to the appointment.
My fears are, obviously, that this isn't working or not working fast enough which would make yet another treatment protocol I've blown through in a fairly short time. And what the heck would we do next. Short of trials, which I am very willing to do, I feel as though I am close to the end of the list for treatments. I have become obsessive with worry and any little symptom-y thing and I have been forgetting how to just live my life. I am paralyzed by it and can't see a future/the future or plan for it. I so want to as I have so much going on that is great.
Soooooo, I guess, I am asking for some extra positive energy in the next hour or so from all of you. I'll try to absorb it and grow it and send it back to everyone.
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with love and gratitude,
joy
dx stage I 2/2000*er/pr+; her- per IHC*lumpectomy*4 rounds A/C*30 rads*tamoxifen*dx stage 4 5/2002*huge mets to liver*tiny mets to lungs*stopped tamoxifen*5/02 taxotere/xeloda*her 2 checked with FiSH-her2+++herceptin *2/03 stopped chemo femara w/herceptin*zolodex*04 switched to aromasin w/herceptin*05 high estrogen tx*11/05taxol/carbo*7/06 stopped chemo; megace/herceptin*9/06navelbine/herceptin*5/07tykerb/xeloda great response*4/08 progression in liver; ooph/ faslodex /herceptin
6/08 began Herceptin DM-1
9/08 progression
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