Mastectomy surgery and scar

Ceesun · 10-14-2007, 08:44 AM

Hi Everyone-my surgery for the dcis is scheduled for Nov and will not have immediate reconstruction. Will heal and deal first....how did you feel looking at the scar for the first time? My surgeon said it is like an amputation-taking the breast off that is. Cathy aka Ceesun

Soccermom · 10-14-2007, 10:30 AM

Ceesun,
I did not have immediate reconstruction.
Truthfully, I did not feel "amputated"... I felt relief. I was able to move ahead with chemo and return to work (my priorities at the time, my Mom was end stage w same) rather swiftly. Seeing my scars everyday goaded me into becoming more active with BC research and advocacy.
I JUST had stage 1 of my recon 7 weeks ago after waiting 2 1/2 years. No regrets.
Ceesun, I wish you nothing but the best and hope you too will feel relief (perhaps tinged with a bit of sadness).

(((((((CEESUN))))))))

Hugs,Marcia

Margerie · 10-14-2007, 10:48 AM

Ceesun,

I didn't feel "amputated" either. Really, where do these surgeons get these ideas?

I woke up with one breast gone. It was simple as that. I really had no idea how it would look as I went into surgery quickly after diagnosis and was only 38 at the time. I had a bunch of staples- which looked frankensteinish. And the drains were a pain. I had so much ahead of me (chemo, rads, etc.) that I really didn't feel affected much by the mastectomy. I got a breast prosthesis- we had a tumultuous relationship. Loved it/hated it kinda thing. It looked great in a bra, but was a pain to deal with.

Anyway, there were some issues the first few times my husband and I were initimate. I mean how could there not? But you learn that you are more than 2 natural breasts- or one or reconstructed or not. There are the little things. We go to the ballet regularly- and I couldn't stop watching the beautiful breasts for awhile.

I am now happily reconstructed and life goes on.
Sometimes I am worried about my scars showing. Sometimes I spill salsa on my cleavage in a restaraunt and don't feel it. I then chew my DH out about it later. Really, honey you need to be on boob watch.

Wishing you the best during your treatment. I hope your surgery doesn't take too much of an emotional toll. I tend to make light of my own situation, that is how I deal. Hope I don't offend anyone- mastectomy is not pretty, but can be overcome!!

Will be thinking of you

BonnieR · 10-14-2007, 11:48 AM

I have been thinking about your question since I read it earlier. I had a double mastectomy as soon as I could after diagnosis. I wanted the cancer GONE, whatever it took. Did not think twice about it. (I took longer deciding on tile for our remodeled house!) The surgery represented part of recovery rather than a loss. And it helped in staging the cancer . And the scars are, I guess, battle scars. I never felt "amputated". What an unfortunate term to use. I felt liberated that I had taken action. I suppose I am just pragmatic about it. It may make a difference that I am in my early 60s. But I am just accepting the way it is and being grateful the surgery went well and I recovered from it pretty uneventfully. I might feel differently if I were younger.

Jeanette · 10-14-2007, 11:55 AM

I too do not feel like an amputee, like someone else said , it is my battle scar and I intend to win this fight. I did not have reconstruction, mainly because I was 65 at the time and did not feel the need. My husband is fine with this, the way we look at it ,is it only a boob., hugs to you all, jeanette

Mary Jo · 10-14-2007, 12:19 PM

I must say that I, too, didn't feel "amputated. I simply felt incredibly thankful the cancer was gone. Honestly, when I first looked at my mastectomy side, my reaction was "oh, it doesn't look as bad as I thought it would."

I've never had a day though that I was sad over "losing" my breasts. It just is a fact - had to be and my life goes forward. Those were my feelings.

Thanks for letting me share.

Mary Jo

cafe1084 · 10-14-2007, 01:40 PM

I also felt relieved, but after my double mastectomy, I couldn't bring myself to look at the scars. I was bandaged for about 3 weeks, then it was several more weeks before I could look at them in the mirror. I did feel amputated and disfigured. It's been a year now and they have just become part of the "whole" me....my red badge of courage, so to speak. I wish you good thoughts, you'll do great!

pgoddard · 10-14-2007, 03:28 PM

Hi Ceesun I had a double masectomey 3 weeks ago I am 42, and for me well it is Hard ( I loved my boobs). The first time I saw my chest Yes I cried i couldnt belive i lost them but you know every day is a healing process and it gets better. now I do not even miss them and cannot wait for the end of all of this when I do get my new tatas

, Keep your chin up girl we are here for you. I will add you to my prayer list

karen raines hunt · 10-14-2007, 03:36 PM

HI Ceesun,

It took me about 3 weeks before I could look at the scars. I had bilateral mastectomies with tissue expanders put in place immediately. My surgeons and oncologists looked, even my husband, but I didn't. The good news is ..............once I looked, it was not as bad as I had expected. I was healing nicely and the scars were reminders that the huge tumor in my breast was gone and that I would never have to worry about disease in the other breast.

Karen

PinkGirl · 10-14-2007, 05:02 PM

Hi Ceese

I am not good with "yucky" stuff. I had a hard time looking at my scar the first time, but I would have a hard time looking at anyone's scar. It was not
a fraction of how bad I thought it would be. To me it looked more weird than anything. I had one breast removed and it just looks weird to have one breast. But it did not look bad at all. The mastectomy was an easy surgery for me physically. The most pain I had was under my arm from the node removal. The front of my chest didn't ever hurt. I was surprised at how quickly I was "up and about". Don't worry about when you look at the scar.
Do it when you're ready and have someone help you if you need help. I actually laid down on the bed with a towel draped over me and just peeked under the towel. I was a real drama queen, but I was scared to look.
Just do your best. Good luck.

fauxgypsy · 10-14-2007, 05:09 PM

I won't say I felt relieved. I was glad that it was over. I did and do mourn losing my breast but I am getting better. The scar itself is not too bad once the staples are out. There are websites that have pictures of postmastectomy scars. More to the point, the more prepared you are before hand, the better. Look into getting you a mastectomy camisole. Also, look into getting a belt with a pouch to hold the drains (there is a kit online). Pinning them to your clothes is uncomfortable. I cannot stess enough how much better your experience will be if you do these two things. If you are handy at sewing I can send directions to make the drain belt and pocket. I am allergic to tegaderm and most adhesives so I didn't have any bandages when I came home. I did have a small bandage over the where the drains came out for a few days.

http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/new....00.asp?mode=1

http://www.pouchpockets.com/

Make sure someone goes over what exercises you should do, how often, and when you should start, preferably before the surgery and not while you are medicated in the hospital. Have plenty of pillows when you get home to elevate your arm and cushion any sore areas. The surgeon told me that Reach to Recovery would explain the exercises, The Reach to Recovery person told me that the surgeon would because they couldn't any more and gave me a book that explained how to do the excercises but not when to start or how often and said to ask the surgeon.
When it came time to go home no one had discussed it with me at all. The exercises are not just for movement, they help keep lymph fluid moving. Keep your arm elevated as much as possible, above your heart is what I am told. If it
is possible, discuss the exercises with a therapist that is trained in preventing lyphedema beforehand. They also recommend ways to ease the scarring such as massage and ways to ease the tenderness using fabric.

Decide ahead of time what you are going to do about a breast prosthesis, a light foam one would be good until you can get fitted for a prosthesis (you can put it the mastectomy camisole once you are not too sore.) The place where I got my prosthesis suggested waiting 4 to 6 weeks before being fitted. I had my mastectomy August 9, and my skin is beginning to lose the feeling of being scraped with sandpaper when I wear a bra. I know that every experience is different but I am not going to minimize this surgery. It was more painful than I had expected and the pain was and is in odd places. I still have a sore spot near my shoulder blade. I still flinch when some one hugs me too tight. Pamper yourself. For a while it felt as if I had a steel plate in my chest but that has gone away as well, it hardly ever tightens up as much as it did. I hope that you get through this without any problems, but if you do have problems, you are not alone.
It is easier now that I have a good prosthesis. I don't feel it much at all. It feels normal. Not at all what I expected. I still am startled when I see my reflection when I am undressed. I do not regret the surgery, even though there were reservations in my case. I do wish that I had been more prepared.

Leslie

gumoore · 10-16-2007, 06:40 PM

I had wanted my breast(s) gone from the moment of diagnosis...so when I finally had surgery it was such a relief - left side modified radical, right side prophylactic.

I wish I could say that looking at my chest came easy, but it was a good three weeks after surgery before I truly looked. I'm a wimp, though; it had nothing to do with feeling amputated or loss.

I haven't missed the girls. In fact, I'm enjoying the freedom from bras so much that reconstruction is no longer an option. I'll invest in the ready-wear, on-off variety one day.

The truth is: every woman reacts differently. And you won't know how you'll react until the surgery is done.

Best of luck.

tousled1 · 10-16-2007, 10:28 PM

Ceesun,

I had a MRM on the right side and a simple mastectomy on the left side. I must admit I was afraid at first to look at the scars thinking that I would look deformed. Well a week after surgery teh bandages were removed and I had my first look. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I had been a D cup so going to nothing was a shock. My incisions have healed extremely well and you can hardly see the scar line. I have no intention of having reconstruction.

theresaw · 10-18-2007, 04:16 PM

I didn't feel amputated either, I had my mastectomy and reconstructive surgery done at the same time, so when I woke up I had a reconstructive breast in place of the one they took. Looking at my self in the mirror sometimes made me feel i was in the twilight zone...but now it has been a yr and I am used to it. It looks like a normal breast just without the nipple.

dhealey · 10-18-2007, 05:10 PM

I have never felt amputated either. I hade the left breast removed last Oct. when diagnosised and the right removed propholactic in June of this year. I have a very good surgeon and healed quite nicely. I never felt quite right when I just had the one removed, felt lopsided. I was actually relieve when the other was removed. Made me feel very proactive with my treatment. I have not done reconstruction, as I feel my breast don't determine my sexuality. My husband loves me just as much as before and it is great to not have to wear a bra. I just wear sexy, lacey camis. It is all in how you view your body and love yourself and your self esteame (sp)

Ceesun · 10-18-2007, 06:52 PM

thank you all so much-it helps to hear your thoughts. Cathy aka Ceesun

Cristina19 · 10-18-2007, 07:08 PM

Hi Cathy,

I chose to have immediate free-TRAM reconstruction, perhaps because I was so shocked about everything (diagnosis, the idea of losing a breast, not wanting to do implants). My man-friend was supportive of me NOT doing any reconstruction, but I suspect that I was also concerned about how "disfigurement" would impact my self-confidence in my fabulous, yet "newish" relationship.

Now, 4 months after surgery, I'm not sure I would have chosen reconstruction. I simply traded one scar (mastectomy) for two (breast and abdomen) and my body was more impacted.

I suspect that when the reconstruction is completed (the surgeon will make my new breast smaller to match the natural breast and reconstruct the nipple), I may feel differently. I also can't really speak to what it's like to not have a breast (or breasts).

Anyway, I'm not sure having a breast is worth the impact on the body from reconstruction. Just something to consider as you work your way through the issues....

By the way, the ancient Greeks had a myth of Amazon women who cut off one breast so that they could shoot their lethal arrows. Being a single-breasted Amazon might feel empowering!

All the best,
Cristina

cafe1084 · 10-18-2007, 07:13 PM

Ceesun,

Another thing I wanted to add: if you're going to wear prostheses because you are self-conscious about them being gone, I'd do it as early as you are able. I waited about 7 months to wear one and now, for me anyway, it its awkward to drive, to go out to dinner, to write, just because they get in my way, even though they are sized the same as my natural ones were....go figure. Not wearing a bra IS wonderful!!!

Catherine · 10-23-2007, 07:54 AM

I too, make light of the fact that my boobs are gone. I did allow myself to mourn their loss for about 2 weeks after surgery. But at the same time I felt like the cancer was gone and I was relieved. 13 months after surgery and 18 months after DX, life is good. It is personal for everyone, so I wish you all the best for this life transition. I would rather be less a couple of boobs than less a vital organ. I do have to admit that I did have breast envy for about 2-3 months after my surgery. Again, this is a difficult time, so I wish you strength. Just always believe. This will all be better one day, just a little daunting right now.

Hugs, Catherine

Vi Schorpp · 10-23-2007, 10:11 AM

Once I looked at the scar I was fine...I was grateful the surgery was behind me and the drains would soon be gone. I have to say that the one thing I focused on when Hoda Kotb discussed her cancer was the tremendous amount of pain she felt trying to figure out the right decision for HER. Even if a lumpectomy has the same results, you have to figure in the size of your breasts and other things. My sister-in-law (who is barely "B") said that if she had to do it over again she would have elected the mastectomy because she felt the lumpectomy "disfigured" her breast. As Tousled mentioned, going from a "D" cup to nothing would be a shock. There's no right answer. I elected a mastectomy on the right side and 4 years later haven't decided what to do with the left side. I have no regrets because that was the best decision for ME.

As an aside, many people wondered if I felt "cheated" when I had 2 C-sections and didn't experience the pushing. Again, no regrets. The outcomes I wanted (two healthy children, my daughter and my son) were achieved.