PROGRESSION: lung +++ ?brain mets -> Palliative Care

[hermiracles]

Hello dear friends ~ I have just returned home after a week's stay in the local Palliative Care Unit ~ which has been good for me. Life itself has been very hectic and I have had increasing pain.

I am so very, very sorry that I haven't posted in ages - I do love this group - but I have had a hard time coping with the loss of Kate, then Michelle, then Lolly and now Karen! and I hardly knew these wonderful women half as well as many of you here. Really I've been having a hard time coping with my diagnosis - and as the emotional pain has got worse so has the physical.

I had been in contact with the Palliative Care nurses trying to manage my pain at home - but it didn't seem to be working too well. So they suggested I try a stay for a while in the PC ward for pain mangagement and some respite.

Anyways while I was there - they bought my scans forward and found new mets in my lungs - looks like my lungs must have lit up like a Christmas tree - they are 'numerous' and what looks like a met in my brain.

I'm glad I was in a safe place to try and process some of this new information and what it means. The staff and everyone were very kind. Anthony and the bubbas came to visit every day, plus lots of friends & family. I was well looked after and we got to do more work on the legal side of things necessary to ensure that everything is inplace for my bubbas when the time comes. It was all pretty challenging but Im glad we got through it and its good to be home. I even got to have my birthday in there! - can you have your birthday in a Palliative Care Unit!?? - apparently you can - lol! - and really it was a wonderful day - thank You God.

So... what next? Well it looks like the Herceptin hasn't worked particulalry well, so I will probably be switched to Tykerb/Xeloda and at some stage have whole brain radiation. Death itself is certainly becoming much more of a closer reality to me, though I hope it is still a loooonng way off yet!

In the meantime I continue to pray and hope and spend time with my hubby and my beautiful miracles who never cease to amaze me every day with their incredible zest for life and learning and laughter! I do my best to look after myself and I really hope I can spend more time here in the group with each of you - this group has been such a gift in coming to terms with this whole HER2 business - I thank you and Im thinking now that the pain is a bit better controlled I will be more up to contributing. I know Im certainly going to need your love and support that you give so freely and hope I can return some of the same.

So thank you sisters and brothers! (That caregiver forum looks like such a great idea - I'll be letting Anthony know about that one) Thanks for being here and sharing the journey.

Blessings all
Hermiracles