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Old 06-26-2009, 07:01 AM   #1
eric
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I'm losing Caryn :(

My heart is breaking as I'm writing this but Caryn is not doing well at all. Her liver has not recovered as hoped and since she hasn't been able to have any treatment the cancer has now taken the problem to a whole new level. She's been in the hospital since Tuesday so they could manage the pain and horrible bloating. She's disoriented from the drugs and her liver failure and I'm having a hard time not continuing the fight. I know her liver can't handle any chemo but I wonder if there's another targeted drug that could possibly offer a miracle that we so desperately need. They told me once before that the fight was over but we continued anyway and to their surprise, she's still here four months later.
Honestly, I'm torn...do I look again for a miracle or are we so far gone that I just accept that there is battle is over and lost????
I HATE the idea of losing her. She's the center of my kids universe and for 20+ years she's been my universe.
She's an amazing person and I can't bear the thought of her not being around. This SUCKS!!!!!!!
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:09 AM   #2
Leslie's sister
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Praying

Oh Eric, I've no medical advice to offer, (though I have no doubt that someone in this amazing group does), but I will offer up my prayers for Caryn and for you. What a wonderful, supportive husband you are to your precious Caryn.

I'm so sorry but have faith that our God can do anything!

Lisa
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Leslie's Sister (Lisa)
Diagnosed 5/17/06
Left breast Stage II
5 cm. Her2Neu+++, ER-, PR-
1 positive node out of six,
double mastectomy 6/9/06;
TCH started 7/12/06
last chemo 10/25/06
herceptin ended 6-11-07
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:17 AM   #3
caya
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Praying too, from Caryn to Caryn

Eric, I can only offer my prayers and hopes for Caryn, you and your family.

all the best
caya (Caryn)
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ER90%+/PR 50%+/HER 2+
1.7 cm and 1.0 cm.
Stage 1, grade 2, Node Negative (16 nodes tested)
MRM Dec.18/06
3 x FEC, 3 x Taxotere
Herceptin - every 3 weeks for a year, finished May 8/08

Tamoxifen - 2 1/2 years
Femara - Jan. 1, 2010 - July 18, 2012
BRCA1/BRCA2 Negative
Dignosed 10/16/06, age 48 , premenopausal
Mild lymphedema diagnosed June 2009 - breast surgeon and lymph. therapist think it's completely reversible - hope so.
Reclast infusion January 2012
Oopherectomy October 2013
15 Years NED!!
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:42 AM   #4
Tom
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Hang in there Eric. Remember that no matter what or where the eventual outcome, she needs you now more than ever. You have to continue to be her strength, even when it seems she has none. This is why you have been there all along, and why you must be there now. I am praying for you and Caryn.


Tom
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:43 AM   #5
Patb
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My heart goes out to you and I only hope for a
miracle. Maybe someone knows of a treatment.
My prayers are with you.
patb
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patb

Diagnosed June, 06, Stage I, Grade3, ER+PR- Her2positive, No Nodes. A/C X 4. Radiation 33 with boost, Herceptin every two weeks until Nov.
07, Arimedex for 5 years. Mugas and Echo and chest xRay. Bone scan of whole Body, and Back of Brain and spine MRI.
CT scan of Lungs every six months
due to two small places. December
2009, bone scan due to bone pain.
Follow up test in 2010.
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:47 AM   #6
Shobha
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Dear Eric,

I can feel your sadness - it really is so cruel. I am praying as hard as I can for Caryn and wishing hard for another miracle.

Prayers continue.
shobha
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DX: 06-30-2007 - left breast -stage IIIB, Her2/Neu 3+++, ER weakly positive, PR-
Taxol+herceptin weekly for 3 months
FEC+herceptin every 3 weeks for 3 months
BRCA 1 and 2 - Negative
Jan 2008 - Bilateral mastectomy, prophylactic Rt. side.
Radiation for 5 weeks
Completed my yr of herceptin on 07-14-2008
Brain MRI - 3/2/09 Clean
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:50 AM   #7
kimber
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Eric - I am at a loss for words. I am so very sorry. I send you both love and prayers.

I ask myself why???? Why can't a cure be found. God bless Eric.

Kim
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dx 5-05 @42 years old
IDC stage IIA
ER+ (100%) ER+ (75%) HER2+
double mastectomy
4DD AC - 16 weekly Taxol
6 months Herceptin - stopped due to MUGA
35 chest wall rads
Tamoxifen
Lat flap with silicone implant reconstruction on left side due to radiation. "Normal" silicone on right. Finished all reconstruction 6-07!!!
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:20 AM   #8
Mary Anne in TX
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Oh, Eric, I'm so very sorry that Caryn is doing so badly. My heart breaks for all that you and your family endure right now. It is so frustrating that so many answers are so unclear and so painful. I send my best wishes and prayers for your miracle. ma
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MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....

Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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Old 06-26-2009, 10:03 AM   #9
chrisy
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Hang in there Eric. Remember that no matter what or where the eventual outcome, she needs you now more than ever. You have to continue to be her strength, even when it seems she has none. This is why you have been there all along, and why you must be there now. I am praying for you and Caryn.


Tom

Eric, I am so sorry I have no answers. Tom, and you, have said it all. It sucks, and your job is to love and support Caryn while your heart is breaking. I'm praying for you both, too.

Much love
Chris
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Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial

5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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Old 06-26-2009, 10:41 AM   #10
Becky
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Eric

I'm thinking and praying for Caryn, your children and you. You have been a gallant fighter for your family throughout this horrible ordeal. My heart aches for you at this difficult time.
__________________
Kind regards

Becky

Found lump via BSE
Diagnosed 8/04 at age 45
1.9cm tumor, ER+PR-, Her2 3+(rt side)
2 micromets to sentinel node
Stage 2A
left 3mm DCIS - low grade ER+PR+Her2 neg
lumpectomies 9/7/04
4DD AC followed by 4 DD taxol
Used Leukine instead of Neulasta
35 rads on right side only
4/05 started Tamoxifen
Started Herceptin 4 months after last Taxol due to
trial results and 2005 ASCO meeting & recommendations
Oophorectomy 8/05
Started Arimidex 9/05
Finished Herceptin (16 months) 9/06
Arimidex Only
Prolia every 6 months for osteopenia

NED 18 years!

Said Christopher Robin to Pooh: "You must remember this: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think"
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:07 AM   #11
Gerri
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Oh Eric,

I can feel your profound sadness at the thought of losing your precious Caryn. I am saying prayers for strength to get you and your family through this difficult time. Treasure every moment. Stay strong.

Much love,
__________________
Gerri
Dx: 11/23/05, Lumpectomy 12/12/05
Tumor 2.2 cm, Stage II, Grade 3, Sentinel Node biopsy negative
ER+ (30%) /PR+ (50%), HER2+++
AC X 4 dose dense, Taxol X 4 dose dense
Herceptin started with 2nd Taxol, given weekly until chemo done
then given every 3 weeks for one year ending on March 16, 2007
Radiation 30 treatments
Tamoxifen - 2 yrs (pre-menopausal)
May 2008 - Feb 2012 Femara
Aug 2008 - Feb 2012 Zometa every 6 months
March 2012 - Stop Femara, now Evista for bone strengthening
**********
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look
back and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:34 AM   #12
Yorkiegirl
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Eric I am so very, very sorry that read that Caryn is declining more and more. I can offer prayers during this most difficult time.
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Vicki
Texas
Biopsy Dx'd 3-23-05 Age 48
MRM 4-5-05 w/ 2 tumor's 5cm, and 6 cm (right side)
IDC (poorly differentiated infiltrating ductual carcinoma)
5+/16 nodes
Stage III A
Grade 3
ER/PR-, Her2/neu ++
Ki67 78%
Begin Chemo 5-2-05 4XAC Dose Dense , 4X Abraxane Dose Dense (ended August 05)
28 Rad's ended October 13 2005
Started Herceptin Weekly August 2005 for one year
Had a Simple mastectomy left side after Mamo showed incresed micro-calcifications. Jan. 17 2006.
Brain MRI Feb.2006--All Clear
August 28, 2006 Last Weekly Herceptin.
October 2006--Colonoscopy, 6 Polyp's removed--all B9
PET Scan July 2007
Abdominal MRI Oct. 2007---2 Right Kidney Cysts
Core Biopsy-- Lump on Scar Line 1-10-08---B9
Brain MRI 6-2008--All Clear
PET/CT Scan 6-2008
Sept. 8 2008, 4CM area removed from mastectomy scar line. Proved to be B9.
PET/CT Scan-- July 2009 --All clear
August 17,2009 ---Had Port Removed
6 Years NED -- April 5,2011
DX'd with Melanoma left arm 10-10-2011
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:38 AM   #13
lexigirl
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Dear Eric,

I am so very sorry to read that your dear Caryn is not doing well. Please know that I am sure right now, that you and the children are her best medicine. You are an awesome husband. I am still praying that Caryn may turn around and regain normal liver function.

Please send her gentle hugs and prayers,
Lexi
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:39 AM   #14
ElaineM
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Wink I'm losing Caryn :(

Eric,
I am so sorry to read your e-mail. There must be a cancer/liver specialist somewhere who knows about cancer medicines that do not affect the liver. There are cancer medicines that do not affect the liver. None of the cancer medicines I took affected my liver, but then again that might be because I have taken milk thistle daily which protects the liver for over 10 years. I never had liver mets either. Are there any integrative medicine docs (docs who practice conventional and complementary medicine) in your area who might be able to suggest something.
In the meantime I am sending positive vibes and saying a prayer for you and Caryn and your family. Hang in there Eric. You are Caryn's strength when she doesn't seem to have any.
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Peace,
ElaineM
12 years and counting
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48247
Lucky 13 !! I hope so !!!!!!
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=52807
14 Year Survivor
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=57053
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." author unknown
Shared by a multiple myeloma survivor.
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:48 AM   #15
tricia keegan
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Eric, I wish had some words or advice to give comfort but I can only keep you both in my thoughts and prayer's..stay strong.
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Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:54 AM   #16
BonnieR
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Eric, I feel your anguish and the sense of powerlessness. I have no medical suggestions but I will add my prayers. God bless.
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Bonnie

Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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Old 06-26-2009, 11:56 AM   #17
Faith in Him
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Eric,

My heart hurts for you and your family. I will continue to pray for a miracle.

Tonya
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DX 02/01/07
2.5 cm, Er/Pr-, Her2+++
18/20 Nodes
03/07 CT & Bone scan - Clear
AC x 4, Taxol x 4, Added Herceptin
Radiation until 09/07
Herceptin every 3 weeks until 06/08
01/10/08 local recurrence -IBC
01/28/08 CT & Brain MRI - clear
02/08 - Navelbine & Herceptin
05/08 -MRM
05/08 - Gemzar & Herceptin - didn't work
09/08 - Hyperthermia rads
03/09 - Tykerb/Xeloda
05/10 - Tram flap to fix wound
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:04 PM   #18
jml
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Praying for you & your children, but most of all for Caryn.
What a horribly frightening time for all of you. I so hope that
you are able to find some intervention that brings peace & comfort.
Stay strong for Caryn, Ed.
And when you can't, lean hard.
We are all here to support you.

Keep the Faith~

Jessica
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:20 PM   #19
Pam P
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Eric I am so pained to read your message about Caryn. I pray for a miracle and more time and for strength and peace for you all.
__________________
Pam
6/01 IBC er+ her2+stage IIIb; mastecomy
7/01 AC, taxol; radiation
2/02 tamoxifen
9/02 stage IV bone mets femara
1/03 taxotere/herceptin/aredia
6/03 herceptin, aredia & faslodex
1/04 navelbine, herceptin, aredia
2/05 herceptin/aredia
7/05 xeloda/herceptin/aredia
3/07 xeloda/tykerb/aredia
5/08 taxol/avastin/aredia
2/09 gemzar/herceptin/zometa
7/09 Taxol/Carbo/Herceptin, zometa
10/09 navelbine/herceptin & zometa
2/10 herceptin & tykerb & zometa
4/10 add xeloda &aromasin
10/10 dx with dermatomyiositis triggered by cancer
11/10 restart herceptin, tykerb, zometa
12/10 surgery-place rod in R femur to stabilize bone
1/11 radiation to R femur - 20 tx
2/11 2nd surgery - rod in Left femur
2/11 tx eribulen -- suspended dx brain mets
3/11 brain mets wbr 20 tx
4/11 halaven; discontine 8/11 not working
8/11 radiation to left femur 20 tx'
8-9/11 rad to lower spine
9/11 abraxane/herceptin/zometa
9/12 xeloda/herceptin/zometa
12/12 ablation of liver
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Old 06-26-2009, 01:06 PM   #20
Mary Jo
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Oh dear sweet Eric...my heart is hurting so badly for you now and I type this with tears in my eyes. I so wish I could do something or say something to make the pain all go away.

I can and will pray for you and Caryn all day......asking for that miracle.......and then leaving it with the One who knows our tomorrows and promises to never leave us or forsake us.

Gentle hugs to you Eric.....my prayers surround you and Caryn.

Peace

Mary Jo
__________________
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC
ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++
RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor
Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node
No Vasucular Invasion
4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin
1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks
28 rads
prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06

17 Years NED

<>< Romans 8:28
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