Might need help with "Lee" - Page 9

PinkGirl · 06-14-2008, 11:41 AM

I just received a PM from Bill (if that's
his real name). He wanted my opinion on using this pic for his new
avatar

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Gerri · 06-14-2008, 05:27 PM

Chrisy, in keeping with peace, love, and can't we all just get along, I must bow to your conclusions of Easy Cheese vs Silly String. You have obviously put a lot of time and effort, not to mention personal risk, in experimenting with the two products. I agree, Easy Cheese does not come out of the can with the same volocity as Silly String. However, I think we both would agree that ingesting either product would be considered risky behavior.

PinkGirl, I tried attach some picture for clarification (no offence intended) but just couldn't do it. Suffice it to say that Chrisy is right, both are tube-like in formation, but Easy Cheese comes out of the can more "volcanic-like" and Silly String is....well, just silly.

I just got back from the park and I think I may have seen Bill in his new disguise. I'm not sure though, since in addition to sun glasses he had a bandana tied around his neck.

Well, gotta go. My wine glass is empty and I need a refill...

juanita · 06-14-2008, 06:42 PM

Silly string is fun, and really hard to get out of your hair. It comes in lots of different colors. Never eaten it myself, but maybe with enough rum and coke I might try.

chrisy · 06-14-2008, 07:47 PM

Silly string is also REALLY hard to get out of a carpet after it has been trampled into little tiny pieces. Of course, spray cheese would be even worse...

Bill · 06-14-2008, 10:35 PM

Pinkie, you are too funny! How can I get that pic to really be my new avatar for awhile? It's hilarious! And, actually, I changed my Avatar on a whim last night. It never occured to me that it would make Lee look like a simple-minded fool. It was not my intention to provoke Lee, and make him the laughing-stock of the HER2 community. Seriously, it was an honest miscalculation on my part. I apologize, Lee. I really did not want to make your previous posts appear to be utterly ridiculous and render them null and void in the grand scheme of things. (I lost 4 pounds this past week, Lee. Have you?)

Bill · 06-14-2008, 11:12 PM

Pinkie, can't you just stroll across the border like everyone else does these days, and bring whatever you want to, and take whatever you want to back home? Just walk south through the woods, and when you get to the border, there will be a guy there smoking a cheap cigarette, and he'll say,"whatcha carrying in that jug, Lady?" "Anthrax. I'm gonna carry it to Duluth and swap it for some spray cheese." Border guard says, "really? what kinda spray cheese?" "Bacon-flavored" "Ma'am, don't move. I've gotta check with my supervisor. Lately, we've had some terrorist-type fellas trying to get across the border with bombs and such. That little jug of Anthrax looks a might heavy. Here, let me help you carry it." Then you overhear "yeah, Sarge, it's maybe Anthrax....bacon/cheese...uh huh....we got all them crackers......she looks nice....yes,sir....spray cheese.....cheese whiz....No, sir, she does not look like a terrorist....yes, sir, a small jug of Anthrax....yes, sir, I think she can carry alot of cheese...thank you sir." "You are free to enter the country Ma'am. You need to exit by way of this same route, though. Understood?

PinkGirl · 06-15-2008, 08:59 AM

Bill/Lee,
It's not that easy to cross the border anymore. I used to just
drive up to the nice, friendly border crossing guy and give him
one of my sweet, innocent smiles, show him my Canadian birth
certificate, make some idle chit chat about my mother-in-law
and one of the grandmothers being American and presto, I was
across. Sometimes the guy would forget to ask me why I was
entering the country. It's not like that anymore. I need to
get myself a passport. I don't have one.

The only way I can see it happening is if you drove up to the
Minnesota/Ontario border and put the bag of spray cheese right
on the centre of the dividing line of the International Bridge. Then
I could stay on the Canadian half of the bridge and just reach over
and grab the spray cheese. Or you could send some with one of
the American athletes going to China and then they could give it
to one of the Canadian athletes and they could bring it back to
Canada for me. I know everyone in Canada.

chrisy · 06-15-2008, 09:06 AM

Hi Pink,

If you take Bill's suggestion and embark on a spray cheese pilgrimage (with or without anthrax - although possibly spray cheese might be more toxic), you need to know what your're looking for and where to find it.

I hope you find the attached helpful in finding what you need.

First, don't be confused by the reddi whip. Stay away from the refrigerated section, since everyone knows spray cheese requires no refrigeration. Reddi whip is found in close proximity to things like....milk, but it is NOT spray cheese.

Look for the spray cheese in it's natural environment - beside its close relative, the "cheese food products" Velveeta and cheese whiz. And surrounded by crackers, possibly including the ubiquitous goldfish.

Finally, remember, it is officially not called "spray cheese", but rather, "Easy cheese". You don't want to tip yourself off as a foreigner...

Happy hunting

PinkGirl · 06-15-2008, 03:02 PM

Thanks Chrisy, pictures always help.

You know, I've been thinking about this spray cheese thing.
I am sure that it is available in Canada. I'm just guessing that,
possibly, it is not available in "small town" Canada.

I have found the Cheez Whiz and the Velveeta, as well as the
Goldfish. But there is no Spray Cheese or Easy Cheese in our
grocery store. I haven't asked anyone in the store if they
stock it. I am afraid of the reaction. What if the clerk starts
screaming SPRAY CHEESE ????? and there I'll be, standing in
the aisle with my pink hair, feeling like a fool. I haven't
even asked any of my friends about it.

The next time that I go to my cancer centre in the big city
I will make a stop at a large "city store". I'm sure it's there
and now, thanks to my Her2 friends, I know exactly where to look for it.

hutchibk · 06-15-2008, 07:24 PM

I wonder if spray cheese also works as a hair styling product?

juanita · 06-15-2008, 08:55 PM

If you want orange hair maybe it would work. You might also have all sorts of bugs or animals following you.

Colleens_Husband · 06-16-2008, 08:03 PM

When I was a small child, one of my favorite memories was to visit my grandmother in Bonners Ferry, Idaho which was just a few miles from the Canadian border. At least once during every visit, my grandmother would load us kids in the back of her Cadilac Coupe de'Ville. That car was so stinking big that it had it's own zip code. We all knew we were heading for Canada and Canada meant we were going to get something special. The something special was anything we wanted from the dime store in Nelson, British Columbia and all we had to do was to keep quiet and smile at the border guards. That was it. Oh, and we had to scrunch down in the seat a little bit when we went through the border crossing.

My grandmother would always buy three things in Canada. Flour, beer, and gasoline. The Coupe de'Ville had a fifty gallon reserve tank on the opposite side of the normal tank. The trunk was filled with beer, and the floor of the car where we sat had bags of flour, and we all sat on a sack of flour, as well. Canadian flour was government subsidized and it cost half as much as flour in the United States. Since all my relatives were Dutch Mennonites, they all baked and they baked a lot, so it was profitable for my grandmother to sneak the socialistic flour across the border without paying the government tariffs. We also had Marxist beer in the trunk which my grandfather would sell to his friends. Marxist Canadian beer was allowed to have a higher alcohol content than American beer so it was a premium item. And I'm not too sure of the political agenda of the gasoline, probably socially progressive, but don't quote me on that.

Once we got across the border, my grandmother would stop at the closest place out of sight and she would critique our smuggling style and she would give us the toys we picked out. Anyways, it was a great deal of fun to put one over the border guards.

With that in mind, if Pink Girl wants a case or two of spray cheese, I submit to you that I am the person to deliver it. I admit that I am a bit of a scoundrel, but I came to be a scoundrel honestly, riding in a Coupe de'Ville surrounded by 400 pounds of socialist flour.

Well except for that whole stalking thing. Maybe we could arrange a dead drop.

Lee

Bill · 06-16-2008, 08:17 PM

Lee, you are "the Man". Scoundrel and scallywag that ye be, ye be a man with skills, and welcome skills at that.

PinkGirl · 06-17-2008, 07:04 AM

Lee,
I am so happy that you have fond memories of visiting
Canada with your Granny, and of all the places she could
have taken you, Granny chose Nelson, B.C., the grow-op
capital of Canada. Did she take you into the "Holy Smoke
Culture Shop" for some of the "B.C. Bud ?"

We still have the Canadian Wheat Board but you wouldn't
want to be purchasing any gasoline here right now. It is
$1.40 per litre. You have to multiply that by 4.something
to get a U.S. gallon.

There aren't many American Granny's who can handle
Canadian beer. We have to keep some watery, weak
draft on tap for the tourists. You've got a cool Granny!

I'm glad you got to see some of Canada. Most Americans
never visit here - I hope it's not because of the "all for
one, one for all" mentality, eh?

chrisy · 06-17-2008, 06:23 PM

So Lee, your sweet ol' granny was the one that planted the seed...and now you're in the witness protection program posing as Bill.

If she had only known...

PinkGirl · 06-17-2008, 06:33 PM

I agree Chrisy. Things are starting to make sense
now, sort of.

Bill · 06-18-2008, 04:06 PM

I politely disagree. This still makes no sense whatsoever to me.

Colleens_Husband · 06-18-2008, 04:18 PM

Bill:

Mom liked me better than she liked you.

Lee

Bill · 06-18-2008, 04:43 PM

Lee! I told you never to say that again!!!!! You know it's a lie! You're a liar! Mom never said that. (see, you guys can't trust him-he lies) One time me and Mom went to the grocery store, just the two of us, Lee!!!, and on the way back, we stopped for an ice cream cone, and she told me never to tell you this, but she said that she liked me better, and that she didn't like you 'cause you were "creepy". Didn't you ever wonder why I never went to Canada with you and Grandma to smuggle flour and beer, huh, huh, Lee? If you think back, I was never there, now was I? You know why? 'cause Mom liked me better and didn't want me winding up in some Canadian hell-hole smuggler's prison sharing a cell with Grandma, but it was ok if you got caught, Mr. Smartypants. On Days when you and Grandma went on your little smuggling runs, me and mom went out for ice cream in America and made fun of you and Grandma.

Bill · 06-18-2008, 05:33 PM

I remember one time, when I was eight years old, and Lee and Grandma were away on one of their "fun" trips. Mom took me to the beach and we shared a pint of ice cream while the gulls screeched and the warm surf splashed across our feet. I took a bite of ice cream and stared into the sky, "Mom, ...." " Yes, Billy, ?" "What's 'expendable' mean?" Mom hugged me tight and said, "You little rascal! You're thinking of Lee, aren't you?" I looked sheepish and toed at a sand crab, "aw, shucks, Mom I don't know" Mom beamed with pride and hugged me again, " I love you so much."