A teary and embarrassing moment - need hugs! And chocolate! - Page 2

sassy · 05-28-2008, 06:45 PM

Chrisy,

I feel absolutely HORRIBLE!

Here everyone has been sacrificing all day, eating chocolate on your behalf---and I HAVEN'T HAD ONE TASTE OF CHOCOLATE ALL DAY!

There is an entire cake in my kitchen and I will do my utmost to devour every morsel.

You deserve a good meltdown. Those shoulders of steel need a little rest.

Thanks for continuing to be a source of strength, hope, courage and HUMOR for all of us.

We love you dearly,

chrisy · 05-28-2008, 08:41 PM

Barbara H. - thanks for the response - I thought I had seen you post that you'd had a couple treatments postponed (or I guess since you go weekly, skipped is the right word). You're right of course about needing to be cautious with the toxicity. My NP and doctor also say there is "nothing you can do", but I reject that! I mean, if they thought there was something I might have done (like down a margarita) to elevate those silly liver enzymes, how can it be that NOTHING would make them go/stay down? I can also relate to the weekly schedule because even though I am not treated every week, I still get to drive 150mi round trip for lab draws, exams and vital signs every week! Does cramp our style, doesn't it!

Debbie and AbbyDawg - yes, we should commission a special her2meltdown chocolate to hide in our desks (and at home) for immediate relief! There are many worthy chocolates out there...but nothing says comfort "food" like a good Frango mint!

Sassy - Whoa, you sure put a whole different spin on that! Guilt tripping over NOT eating chocolate?????Be gentle with yourself, you just didn't know... I'm sure the cake will make everything all better.

WB - do you think I will blow my cover if I can't keep from giggling while skulking around the cancer center in my secret squirrel garb?

I definitely feel better today - thanks everyone. Let's be careful out there - no choco-od's please.

Bill · 05-28-2008, 09:09 PM

No, Baby, the only thing that might tip them off is if you show up wearing Hersheys smeared on your lips instead of the "Hot-spy Red" that they sell at Walgreens.

harrie · 05-29-2008, 12:19 AM

Chrisy, just for you...
Today I ate a whole handful of my absolute favorite which is dark choc covered sunflower seeds! Each one is a different color and the shape of each one looks like tear drop! So I ate like 100 colorful chocolate tear drops!
Harriecanarie

abitjaded · 05-29-2008, 12:45 PM

Mars makes this stuff for Williamsburg. Maybe we could ge SmithKlineGlaxo or someone to hit them up for us.

We went to Williamsburg last month. Had this stuff during my brain met wandering a week before knowing why I could barely remember where the bathrooms were. But even then I could tell it was good. Intense chocolate.

Of course See's Choclates does fundraisers, too. Fifty percent profit. Anyone wanna go door to door for a good cause?

Carla

http://www.williamsburgmarketplace.c...2114&langId=-1

Carla

Ruth · 05-29-2008, 02:08 PM

OK everyone ~~~

I went out and got the REAL chocolate today after reading these threads...no more skinny latte's! I got a 200 count, 5 lb 7 oz, huge box of York Dark Chocolate Covered Peppermint Patties from Sam's Club. The kids were jumping for joy but I quickly told them to look and see the little pink breast cancer ribbon on the box for MOMMY!

If I'm lucky they may last the weekend with this crew. Teenage boys just seem to be able to eat, eat, eat, eat and continue to eat.

Hugs ~ Ruth

Catherine · 05-29-2008, 10:36 PM

Chrisy,

Wow, I do not have any chocolate in the house, but have decided to have a second gin and tonic after reading this long and moving post. I continue to be amazed at the courage and love on this wonderful site. I am so sorry that your treatment was delayed. And I am very proud of you that you had a meltdown. You deserved a meltdown and you did it so spontaneously. Now, I hope and pray that you treatment will get back on track. In the meantime, I will go out and buy some expensive chocolate so that I can better support the team effort.

Hugs, love and chocolate futures to all of you,
Catherine

Barbara H. · 05-30-2008, 04:55 PM

Hi Chrisy,
Just because they claim there isn't a way to lower the enzymes, I don't totally buy it either. Otherwise, I wouldn't be taking vitamins. Many professionals don't seem to think they are worth much.

I absolutely hate having to go every week. It's also hard how it cuts into a potential extended vacation. I think eventually you may be able to skip some of the blood draws after you have been on the trial for a while. For example, I only have to have the bone scan done every twelve weeks.

I don't miss alcohol much because I was never much of a drinker. However, on a special occasion I would like to enjoy a glass of wine, and it's just another thing that we can't do on this trial.

I think we just have to get down sometimes and vent. I feel guilty when I do, because I feel I need to be grateful that I am on this trial.

Best wishes,
Barbara H.

Soccermom · 05-31-2008, 10:22 AM

Chrisy,
I ate a Baby Ruth in solidarity..BTW, where did Tiptoe and Tex find those FRANGOs' ? I thought they were only from the old Marshall Fields stores in Chicago?
Dont be embarassed, as all the others have stated we are all entitled to a meltdown, now and then!
Big chocolately hugs,Marcia

Barbara H. · 05-31-2008, 10:54 AM

Hi Chrisy,
If this trial is working for you, you may be on it for a long time. There are some patients at the Dana Farber who have been on it for over a year and are doing well. As long as you are doing well they won't take it away from you even if the your trial year is over. They just keep extending it.
Best wishes,
Barbara H.

BonnieR · 05-31-2008, 01:53 PM

I'm still eating chocolate in solidarity until I get the "all clear". No rush.

chrisy · 05-31-2008, 04:26 PM

You could tell I have Chicago roots!

That box did come from Chicago, but now that Macy's has moved in

I can actually get them here, too!

Kim in CA · 06-01-2008, 09:46 AM

Dear Chrisy,

Now I know why I have been having this greater than usual craving for chocolate. I must have been telep-ing that there was a disturbance in the "force" and more chocolate was needed imediately.

You have to let those tears flow whenever and wherever, otherwise we might explode, or is that implode. I find that since cancer, it doesn't take much to make me cry. I have boxes of kleenex everywhere!

Praying your labs get back to normal and you can resume treatment soon.

Big hugs and a big slobery "horsie kiss" from Bailador,

Kim

chrisy · 06-02-2008, 12:25 PM

Kim, thanks for the sloppy horsey kisses...somehow I think you have found a unique way to provide support!

Now the bummer news...

That darn AST was too high again! Now that may mean I'm DQ-d from the study. I'm so bummed because I know this drug was doing a great number on the cancer and I don't want to "lose" this weapon. The AST is elevates slightly over the study protocol max, not anything close to life threatening, and not as high as it HAS been for me while on this trial.

The doc is at ASCO, so that makes communication much harder, but I think she is going to talk to the trial medical monitor - hopefully they can find a way for me to safely stay on this drug.

Keep your fingers crossed.

chrisy · 06-02-2008, 01:00 PM

At least I didn't cry in front of them this time!

Colleens_Husband · 06-02-2008, 01:30 PM

Yeah Chrisy!

At least for keeping it all in perspective. Sometimes drug trials are more interested in people who go out of the margins than those safely in the middle. This may make you more likely to stay in the trial. You never know for sure.

Reward yourself with chocolate covered in spray cheese. Smoky Bacon Cheddar goes best with chocolate.

Lee

chrisy · 06-02-2008, 01:38 PM

Gosh Lee,
I'm here at the airport waiting for a flight and I found some VERY nice Ghirardelli 70% chocolate at the airport store, but not a sign of any spray cheese...and definitely not smoky bacon cheddar. I suppose they figure it could be used as weapon - as I said on the "might need some help" thread, you could put an eye out with that stuff!

Maybe I can get some smoky chipotle salsa, but it won't be the same

Barbara H. · 06-02-2008, 03:43 PM

Hi Chrisy,
Unless your AST is way out of bounds (grade 3), I can't believe that they would pull you from the study. It just may take a few weeks for it to come down. Mine was much more sporadic at the beginning of the trial. Nevertheless, my treatment was also withheld last Thursday.
I hope you will be treated next week.
Best wishes,
Barbara H.

Carolyns · 06-03-2008, 08:39 AM

Hi Chrisy,

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.

If it helps, I have had an uncontrollable urge to eat chocolate and I am not a chocolate person. It is interesting to be influenced by a Her 2 thread. So far, at the Italian market, I bought those butter cookies with jelly in the middle dipped in chocolate, cranberries dipped in dark chocolate (does this count as medicine for my frequent UTI's... I count it as being pro-active), M & Ms with and without peanuts and chocolate chip cookies.

Chrisy, You are in my prayers evey night. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Love, Hope, Peace,

Carolyn

PinkGirl · 06-03-2008, 08:54 AM

Hey Chrisy
Sorry about your big-AST numbers I guess this means we have
to keep on the chocolate binge for you. It's a lot for you to ask
but I will do it, just for you!

I like your new avatar with the kids eating the chocolates. Notice
how dainty and lady-like Tippy looks and then there's Tex - in the box
feet first.

I'm really sorry you have to wait longer for your treatment. I don't
think they're going to kick you out of the trial.... just have to wait
for those big-AST numbers to come down. Keep the faith Chris.