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07-09-2009, 09:02 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 869
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Dear Eric, I have tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart as I tell you how sorry I am. May God hold you, your children, and family and friends close. Sincerely, Ceesun
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07-09-2009, 09:11 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: me & my three HANDSOME grandsons!!Jacksonville, Arkansas
Posts: 354
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Eric,
I cannot pretend to know your anguish right now. You both fought so hard. Hugs for those beautiful children that you and Caryn so lovingly created. She lives on through them.
__________________
Terri B.
46 yrs. young
Dx IDC 3/6/08
1.5 cm & .6 cm grade III, Stage IIA
es/pr- Her2+++, 9/9 richardson
Double Mast w/expanders 4-14-08
3/9 nodes positive.
additional excision rt breast 4-25-08
weekly T/H x 12 (6-2-08) Done!
FEC x4 (9-8-08) Last one 11-10-08!
Herceptin complete 8/10/09!!
33 RADS DONE 2/13/09!
rt. breast biopsy 3/20/09 .. B9!!
reconstruction complete!
DEEEEEEported on 5/19/10!!
almost 5 YEARS NED!!
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07-09-2009, 09:21 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: OH
Posts: 385
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My sincere sympathy
to you, your children, and Caryn's family. I know how it feels to lose a spouse and it's indescribable. It is the most intimate relationship you can have with another person and it feels very raw. There's a vulnerability component to it because no one knows you quite like Caryn did. The blessing of your marriage to Caryn is the children you have. It's hard to see your children mourn, when you're hurting too. You could not have done more for Caryn than you did. You were amazing!
__________________
Diagnosed 4/03/03, age 50
3.5 cm, 0/19 positive nodes
Stage IIA
Her2++, ER & PR++
RB Mastectomy, 4 AC,
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07-09-2009, 09:32 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 430
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For Eric:
Praying God will comfort you as you grieve the loss of your special angel, Caryn. At a time when words fall short, may God answer each prayer spoken for you with strength of heart, peace of mind, and comfort in the midst of your sorrow.
For your children:
You were such a special part of your mom's life, and she was so proud of you. Remember always that you brought much joy to her life. May God help you when you are feeling sad, and remind you of just how much you will always be loved.
My sympathy and prayers to all of you, and to your extended family.
Alice
__________________
9/15/08 (age 52) - Mammo: calcifications
9/22/08 - Biopsy: DCIS, grade 3. ER,PR status: Pos. in 75-90% of tumor cells.
10/01/08 - Ob/Gyn appt.: found complex, mostly cystic mass on right ovary - 11cmx12cmx 8cm
10/15/08 - Hysterectomy & Oophorectomy, Lumpectomy: Cyst on uterus, not ovary - all was benign. Breast - 5 of 6 bad margins. 2 Sentinel Lymph nodes removed, both negative. Stage 0, Tis, N0
12/11/08 - Mastectomy & DIEP reconstruction: Surprise! 2 cm Invasive DC, grade 2 found. One benign internal mammary lymph node. Stage 1, T1c, N0, all clean margins. ER+ (Proportion Score = 2/5, Intensity Score = 2/3) and PR+(Proportion Score = 3/5, Intensity Score = 2/3)
HER2 score = 3+
1/09/09 - Oncotype DX: Recurrence S/core of 60 !?!?! ER status is NEG!! PR staus is NEG! HER2 score = 12.2 (still positive, greater than 11.5 is positive).
1/20/09 - Started chemo: TCH
5/26/09 - FINISHED CHEMO!
1/05/10 - FINISHED HERCEPTIN!
1/22/10 - Port-a-catheter removed!
3/07/18 - Still NED
9/10/23 - Still NED
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07-09-2009, 11:08 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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Dear Eric -
You know how we rally our energy around those in need on this board. In the past you have been one of those sending sympathy and love. Now receive our heartfelt support for strength in the coming days and weeks.
We know you did everything humanly possible to keep Caryn in the fight. Thank you for the expression of appreciation for Joe, Chris and this site.
The ache in my heart is a mix of feelings - all of which have been expressed above.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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07-09-2009, 11:21 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: "Love never fails."
Posts: 5,808
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Eric,
You are an amazing spouse. I am sorry for Caryn's passing and I hope and pray that you and the children will be consoled by the beautiful memory she had left with you.
Joe and Christine had expressed what we really felt at heart. I am glad to know that you will continue to help us out on the board.
Our deepest sympathy to you and your family.
__________________
Jackie07
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
http://www.asco.org/ASCOv2/MultiMedi...=114&trackID=2
NICU 4.4 LB
Erythema Nodosum 85
Life-long Central Neurocytoma 4x5x6.5 cm 23 hrs 62090 semi-coma 10 d PT OT ST 30 d
3 Infertility tmts 99 > 3 u. fibroids > Pills
CN 3 GKRS 52301
IDC 1.2 cm Her2 +++ ER 5% R. Lmptmy SLNB+1 71703 6 FEC 33 R Tamoxifen
Recc IIB 2.5 cm Bi-L Mast 61407 2/9 nds PET
6 TCH Cellulitis - Lymphedema - compression sleeve & glove
H w x 4 MUGA 51 D, J 49 M
Diastasis recti
Tamoxifen B. scan
Irrtbl bowel 1'09
Colonoscopy 313
BRCA1 V1247I
hptc hemangioma
Vertigo
GI - > yogurt
hysterectomy/oophorectomy 011410
Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement （600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY." Irene from Tampa
Advocacy is a passion .. not a pastime - Joe
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07-09-2009, 12:11 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Newton, MA
Posts: 951
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Your Angel
Dear Eric,
From the very first time I read your posts I was so impressed with your compassionate care and willingness to give everything in your power to Caryn and to help her in her recovery. Caryn will still continue to be a part of you and your children. All that she gave to you will stay with you.
Nevertheless, my heart just breaks for you, and I was so sad to open this forum and read your message. Thank you for thinking of us during such a difficult time, because all of our thoughts have been with you, Caryn and your children.
Yes, you will worry about your children, but the care you will give them, and the memories and stories you will tell them will help them the rest of their lives. I have had students in my class who have lost parents. Of course it's hard, but with you as their father, and with the support from friends and family they will make it and become strong and caring individuals.
Still, my thoughts remain with you and your family, and it is impossible for me to really comprehend how hard it must be for you.
With heartfelt thoughts,
Barbara H.
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07-09-2009, 12:51 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 858
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Dear Eric. I am so sad and you are so brave. I will always remember Caryn's fight and the way you were besides her. My heart is with you and the children. Michka
__________________
08.2006 3 cm IDC Stage 2-3, HER2 3+ ER+90% PR 20%
FEC, Taxol+ Herceptin, Mastectomy, Radiation, Herceptin 1 year followed by Tykerb 1 year,Aromasin /Faslodex
12.2010 Mets to liver,Herceptin+Tykerb
03.2011 Liver resection ER+70% PR-
04.2011 Herceptin+Navelbine+750mg Tykerb
06.2011 Liver ned, Met to sternum. Added Zometa 09.2011 Cyberknife for sternum
11.2011 Pet clear. Stop Navelbine, continuing on Hercpetin+Tykerb+Aromasin
02.2012 Mets to lungs, nodes, liver
04.2012 TDM1, Ned in 07.2012
04.2015 Stop TDM1/Kadcyla, still Ned, liver problems
04.2016 Liver mets. Back on Kadcyla
08.2016 Kadcyla stopped working. mets to liver lungs bones
09.2016 Biopsy to liver. no more HER2, still ER+
09.2016 CMF Afinitor/Aromasin/ Xgeva.Met to eye muscle Cyberknife
01.2017 Gemzar/Carboplatin/ Ibrance/Faslodex then Taxotere
02.2017 30 micro mets to brain breathing getting worse and worse
04.2017 Liquid biopsy/CTC indicates HER2 again. Start Herceptin with Halaven
06.2017 all tumors shrunk 60% . more micro mets to brain (1mm mets) no symptoms
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07-09-2009, 01:47 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES!
w/home in Boca Raton, Florida
Orig from L.I., N.Y.
Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
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Thank you for thinking of us, even now...
Oh dearest Eric,
My heart is with. You and Caryn have fought so very bravely and with such grace, we all stand in awe. It is a true honor to know such remarkable people. Even in the midst of your most challenging trials, we can see that your love has somehow carried you. The love you share with Caryn has been so obviously radiant, I believe you will keep her in your heart forever. Surely, though she has passed on to another realm of being, her Soul endures, and is full of her love for you and for your children. It will be so eternally...
Your strength of character will continue to guide you through this most difficult and unwanted time. I know you will be there for your children, as you are a man who is brimming with an angelic determination and devotion. I so admire you, Eric.
We each need such a hero in our lives, especially as we face this life-threatening disease. Your best friend and the love of your life is at peace now. No more pain. No more struggle. Now watching over you as there is no other place she would rather be. I believe she can hear you, and if you listen very quietly, you will hear her. Feel her presence. Let it comfort it.
Your love kept Caryn fighting on to the very end. It surrounded her and buoyed her. It caressed her and coddled her. You gifted her with that. Good for you.
I am sending you prayers to help console you and know how much your family means to all of us here. Our thoughts are with you. I wish you could feel the hug I am giving you, a token of my solidarity with you. I can feel how heavy this burden has been and I am so very sorry. I deeply want you to know this.
I know you will rally the fortitude to be there for your beautiful children, as they grieve and throughout their lives. Deep inside you, I haven't a doubt that you know how important you are to them, now more than ever. Caryn is counting on you to carry on, for her, and for them.
It is much too soon. I wish, as we all do, that Caryn's life could have been spared, that she could have grown old and gray by your side. I do believe though that this is not the end of Caryn's story. She lives on, albeit in another plane, and will patiently wait for you. She will be there for you with open in arms -- in time. It is not time yet. I so wish it could have different, but we must accept the unacceptable at times. I am shaking my head, wishing I could make it all go away yet aware how helpless I am to do this.
Eric, please trust that you are significantly needed to carry on here, in her name, in her honor...
With much love, Eric,
Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...
'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...
Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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07-09-2009, 02:11 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 290
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Dear Eric,
There is nothing for me to say other than I am profoundly sorry that you and your children have lost your sweet Caryn. May God rest His loving hand on your shoulder as you work through this. You are all in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Tom
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07-09-2009, 01:39 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 556
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Eric,
I just prayed that this day should not come. I feel so much pain in my heart. Please take care of yourself and the kids.
Julie
__________________
Diagnosed in Sept 2004 while pregnant with the second child. Stage 3b, tumor 4.5cm, 4 auxillary and supraclav node positive. Her2+++ FISH 9.4 and er-,pr-.
Had dose dense neoadjuvant AC,Taxol then mastectomy,radiation+xeloda+Herceptin.
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07-10-2009, 06:02 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wilmington, Del.
Posts: 1,126
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Caryn was blessed with a good husband. Your children are blessed with a caring father. I am so sad that Caryn couldn't "make old bones." Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.
__________________
MJO
IDC, Stage I, Grade 2
Oncotype DX Score 32
Her2++ E+P+, Node Neg.
Lumpectomy 11/04/05 Clear Margins
3 Dose dense AC (Couldn't tolerate 4)
4 Dose dense Taxol & Herc. (Tolerated well)
36 weeks Herceptin (Could not complete one year due to decrease in MUGA score)
2 years of Arimidex, then three years of Femara
Finished Femara May 2011
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07-10-2009, 07:53 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oregon City
Posts: 856
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Eric:
Your courage through all of this tremendous difficulty has been just amazing. You inspire all of us. I am so sorry for your loss.
Please know that Caryn, your children, your family, and you are in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.
Lee
__________________
This happened to Colleen:
Diagnosed in September 2007
ER-/PR-/HER2 Neu+++ 2.1 cm x .9 cm spicluted tumor with three fingers, Stage 2B
Sentinal node biopsy and lymph node removal with 3/18 positive in October 2007
4 TAC infusions
lumpectomy March 2008, bad margins
Re-excision on June 3rd, 2008 with clean margins
Fitted for compression sleeve July 16, 2008
Started the first of two TCH infusions August 14, 2008
Done with chemo and now a member of the blue dot club 9/17/08
Starting radiation October 1, 2008
life is still on hold
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07-09-2009, 07:49 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 764
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Eric,
My heart is breaking for you and the children. You can be very proud of the way that you and Caryn fought this.
I pray that God comforts you during this difficult time.
Tonya
__________________
DX 02/01/07
2.5 cm, Er/Pr-, Her2+++
18/20 Nodes
03/07 CT & Bone scan - Clear
AC x 4, Taxol x 4, Added Herceptin
Radiation until 09/07
Herceptin every 3 weeks until 06/08
01/10/08 local recurrence -IBC
01/28/08 CT & Brain MRI - clear
02/08 - Navelbine & Herceptin
05/08 -MRM
05/08 - Gemzar & Herceptin - didn't work
09/08 - Hyperthermia rads
03/09 - Tykerb/Xeloda
05/10 - Tram flap to fix wound
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07-09-2009, 10:47 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Eugene, Oregon
Posts: 347
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Honor
You and your family seem to have faced your challenges with honor. You were always positive, and were very admirable with your ability to avoid the natural responses of anger and resentment, and you helped her make the journey to the other side with love and confidence, hope and generosity on her side. Her spirit must be at peace knowing there is so much love for her. We will all miss her, and we're all here for you to share any feelings you want to share. The doctors and scientists who are searching for those new discoveries are learning from people like her. She made a big impact on the world in many ways.
Today I wear black and my HER2support pin for her.
Bless you and your children Eric, Love Celeste
__________________
"Dancers Against Cancer" in the Eugene, OR Komen Race for the Cure 2010
Diagnosed 8/7/08 with stage 3 invasive ductal carcinoma, micropapillary pattern, Her2 3+, ER+,PR-, grade II, positive lymph nodes.
Received 6doses of Taxotere, Carboplatin with Herceptin continuing for a year...DONE.
1/28/09 Left Modified Radical Mastectomy, Right Simple Mastectomy.
Surgery pathology: No invasive carcinoma present and 17 lymph nodes removed all negative! Only small amount of carcinoma in situ in left breast.
March/April '09, Radiation to left chest wall.
Currently involved in Neratinib clinical trial.
"Well being I won
and wisdom too,
I grew and joyed in my growth;
from a word to a word
I was led to a word
from a deed to another deed." (Odin)
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07-09-2009, 12:43 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Southern, CA
Posts: 2,511
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Eric, My heart breaks for you & your childern. Caryn fought so hard, and was so blessed to have such a loving & dedicated husband by her side.
My deepest condolences to you & your family.
Chelee
__________________
DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes.
Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs.
Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06
Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07
3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07
9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV.
9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa
9-29-09 Power Port Placement
10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head.
11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed
12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa.
3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed.
4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone.
5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy.
Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time.
7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.
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07-09-2009, 07:53 AM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,526
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Eric
My heart goes out to you and your children. I echo Joe and Christine that this damn disease has robbed too many families of their wives, partners and mothers.
You both fought so hard and with tremendous courage and grace.
You and your children are in my prayers and your lovely wife at peace.
Love Ellie
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07-09-2009, 07:53 AM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 492
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I am so sorry Eric. You are such a wonderful husband. Heartbreaking. Wishing you and the kids peace and stength.
__________________
Are we there yet?
Dx 10/05 IDC, multi-focal, triple +, 5 nodes+
MRM, 4 DD A/C, 12 weekly taxol + herceptin
rads concurrent with taxol/herceptin
finished herceptin 01/08
ooph, Arimidex, bilateral DIEP reconstruction
NED
Univ. of WA, Seattle vaccine trial '07
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07-09-2009, 07:58 AM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 96
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Dear Eric,
Caryn is in a place where there is no more pain and suffering. She was a brave and courageous lady and with such a loving family, i am sure she was really blessed,
We must celebrate her life and i am sure she would like to see you all happy. So please take courage and thank God for all the wonderful things she brought into your life.
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07-09-2009, 08:03 AM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Calif.
Posts: 981
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Dear Eric,
I am so sorry. Please know that Caryn was inspirational to all of us. What a terrific husband and friend you were to her. I pray that you and your children will somehow be able to find comfort during this very sad time.
Hugs and Prayers,
Lexi
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