Wishing to live to Age 40

[Shell]

Carol-


My children are 10 and 8, and I have taken a similar approach in what I tell them. I started taking xeloda, which are pills taken twice a day - my 10 year old set the alarm on my cell phone for me so I'd remember to take them on the weekends! Sometimes I'm tired and I have to remind them to help out, but in general they have been great with things. My 8 year old sometimes cries and says no one understands that her mom has breast cancer, but i told her that as long as i feel well, and still undertake daily activities, that we are blessed and prayers alone by others are doing the job...

welcome to the boards.

shell

[lkc Gumby]

Caro,

There is another site www.breastcancer.org, which I found very comforting and informative. There are lots of stage 4 women there.
Good Luck.

Linda

[Carol H]

It is so nice to hear from another mum with children of similar ages- I hope to check this site as often as I can but you know what its like with 2 kids and housework etc so will try to keep up to date and still trying to work out how all the areas of the website work -its quite a well organised site so will have to familarise myself on how to use it properly.

The medication you mentioned you are taking at the moment - I have not heard of that in Scotland yet - what does it do??

[eric]

Carol,

I really don't understand how anyone can tell you that you have 10 months to live when there are so many woman that are living proof that, thanks to herceptin and the many new wonderful drugs available for breast cancer, the rules have changed! My wife Caryn was diagnosed with mets to lungs and liver in July of '04 and has been NED (no evidence if disease) since 1/05. As many of the wonderful people on this site will tell you, as their doctors have told them, no one knows for sure any more. Just as I can't sit here and guarantee that you will live for another fifty years, I don't think any doctor can tell you that you have 10 months. No one knows!

I know this is easier said than done, as I live with the fear of losing my wife every day, but try and cherish and enjoy each day knowing that every day and every week brings us closer to the next great drug and possible cure. BC is much more of a managed disease than ever before and with the new technologies available the discoveries seem to be coming at a faster pace than ever before!

Kiss your kids and tell your doc that you choose not to believe him or her!

Warmest regards,
Eric

Carol;

Please do follow Karen's advice and post to the main site. Just cut and paste your original story to a new thread. I know you will receive many, many responses and lots of helpful suggestions from very experienced stage 4ers. My heart goes out to you and your family and I will keep you in my prayers.

Cathya

[lucky4x]

Carol,
I sent you an email but I wanted to post here too.

I am also a mom of 3, battling this for 6 yrs. I am 48 now.
My kids knew everything the first time, as I had chemo and rads and lost my hair, but I , like you, keep very optomistic, and "up" ( for them).

My second dx, I told them, but kept it light.

My third time, I didnt tell them because there was nothing I could do as they found it in the breast I had just removed.

This 4th time, in Aug, it was lung mets... I didn't tell them. Why? I had a daughter who was just starting Univeristy, and a son struggling in grade 10 and a younger daughter who would just cry... so I didnt tell them.
It was a good decision for that time, but I have recently told them ( but kept it very light) as the Herceptin is controlling the spots, and they have disapeared. I only told them, because it was too hard to lie to them about the 3 week treatments. I don't lie to my kids, and they don't lie to me (much). LOL.

My husband is coping in a strange way. He ignores it. It is actually ok... the kids never get down, or depressed because he acts so normal. It is sometimes hard on ME...but good for them.

Keep well. Now, I am off to find this general board... I have no idea how to get there.
Lucky

i am 54 and found my own cancer infeb2006,the mammagram did not show it or dr who i went to see,i stayed real hot allthe time like hot flashes but worse,i knew tht the lump was real.also when i went back to do another mamamagram ,they sent the report that it was my left instead of rigth,so i did not have surgery near home ,i went to the cancer center of america in tulsa ok,it is wonderful,it is not like a hospital,they have the best dctors and up to date on everything,the room are suites,i had breast surgery, the senital nodes were ok,now i go back in april to have a portacalf put in and stat chemo,then in june radiontation,they take medicare,also they help with tranportation to get there,anyone who reads this ,please concider them, there is one near chicago,go on line, many have went there that other drs give up.also can any one give me info on chemo,God bless you all, lin

[lu ann]

Cancer Treatment Centers of America should have given you advice on chemo when you were there for your surgery. I went there March 04 and stayed for 6 weeks getting radiation tx. and a surgical biopsy of the remaining breast. This was a great facility who treat the whole patient, mind body and spirit. I decided not to get chemo there because I didn't feel comfortable flying while on chemo. But I met many people who did and had great results.

Love and Blessings,
Lu Ann.