Tired and angry

[graham]

My biggest problem is that I think i should be stronger i think why am i stressing when it is my wife that has cancer. I say to myself i should be stronger i should show no weakness because if i do Lenny will think there is no hope . So i cry when nobody is around .I research when all my family are asleep , and the bottom line is i can not do anything to help ,i have no magic potion i have to be strong when in fact i am weak, Nothing can change the fact that my wife has cancer and i can not do a damn thing about it .My work look at me and say we will help you when in fact they will help till I can no longer do my job then they will say sorry but we need a manager that is here not one that is here some days but isn't the rest We are sorry you wife has cancer but we need to move on as a business..
So the bottom line is My wife's cancer is going to loose my job, destroy me sanity , also destroy my children's sanity , Suck the life out of her, and i have to sit and watch all the pain and torment this insidious disease reaps on her . Do I like it Hell no. Would i change any of it Hell yes. bottom line is i can't change it so all I can say is I at this moment in time would never change the fact that i love my wife and will be with her to the end no matter what that brings .. I FUCKING HATE CANCER BUT I LOVE MY WIFE MORE